pressing flowers

“Ah, yeah. Kids and their.... plans.” I echoed, giving him a playful grin before I placed my hands on top of the chair, probably so I could have something to hold onto to remember that this was all real. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself, wondering momentarily if Kyle had made it a devious plan to purposely set Abby out to town so he and I could have some time alone. It was a really, really sweet thought, but I knew it was probably wrong - he wouldn’t want to make this seem more like a date because it wasn’t, right? I hoped it was, but it wasn’t. God, after this, I was going to need a serious orientation on ethics. It wasn’t long before Abby came my way and we said our goodbyes. I had to admit I was going to be a lot more nervous than I was initially without her around. She was sort of... my mediator. Now that Kyle and I were alone, my heart and mind were racing each other.  “It’s alright, maybe next time we can all have dinner, yeah?” I asked with a smile, offering him a shrug of my shoulders. NOT THAT I WAS ASKING FOR A SECOND TIME WE COULD HANG OUT, but... I sort of was. “I’d love to, sure.” I looked down at the bowl of pineapples he offered me and took it with a nod, popping a small dice in my mouth before following him outside. “So, be honest... how many cooking shows did you have to watch to nail this?” 

      “Huh?” I said dazed then snapped out of it, “Oh! Food, right. I made some Hawaiian kebabs. Some meat, peppers, and grilled pineapple. See, I told you I would get fruit. I listened to ya, doc.”

Happy 41st Birthday Maggie Siff ! (June 21, 1974)

      After putting on my denim button up and struggling to get some khakis on over my damn cast, I spritz some cologne on and made my way out into the living room with one crutch under my arm. Abby stood there in the kitchen slicing up a pineapple, and she looked up at me with that little smirk I hate so much.

      “What?” I spat out and she only wiggled her eyebrows.

      “You’re so sprung. Look at you. You dressed up and everything.”

      I chose not to acknowledge her, or at least until I needed to remind her on something we talked about in the car. I made my way towards the patio, then turned and pointed a threatening finger her way. “Remember, kid. Ten minutes then-”

      “Make an excuse to leave, I know, I got it.”

      Yeah, okay. Maybe I was sprung.

      After firing up the grill and letting the meat sizzle along with some slices of pineapple, I made my way inside and hoped Rose would be able to smell my cologne past the cloud of smoke from the grill around me. I made a damn effort to smell nice then ruined it. Oh, whatever. I leaned over the counter and grabbed a piece of pineapple before popping it in my mouth. It must have been from Abby’s personal pile, because seconds later she was hitting me in the back of the head. I didn’t have time to care about it though, because the doorbell rang and suddenly nothing else mattered. She’s here. I waddled over to the door a little faster than normal then breathed in before finally opening it.

      Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man. My hand clutched my chest as I looked at her, the action completely absentminded because I was sure my heart was about to pop out of my chest. “Wow,” was all I said, and I should have said more right then, but my mind doesn’t work that fast. She was a goddamn angel. Or, you know, not a goddamned angel, but just…. Fuck it, she’s beautiful. “You look…” I didn’t have the words. My tongue ran over my lips and I leaned against the door with a boyish grin. “Stunning, I think is the word I’m looking for.” After giving her a second look, reality finally came into play and I quickly stumbled out of the way to let her inside. “Sorry,” I mumbled before smiling and taking the bottle of wine, “you didn’t have to bring anything, doc.”

    I had to admit I’d been overcome by another, beet-red blush whenever he complimented me. The only way I could think of relieving it was complimenting back, but of course I’d be as sincere as he was. “Thank you. You clean up nice, too,” I chuckled somewhat meekly, looking past his shoulders. “You gonna let me in now, captain?” I asked playfully. Once I stepped inside his home, I couldn’t help but feel at home. It was absolutely gorgeous and well put together, one of the most beautiful houses I’d been privy to in Hawaii. “It’s alright, I wanted to,” I responded with a nod, looking over at him. A smile adorned my lips. “It smells really nice. What did you decide to cook up?”

      Once I was out of sight, I couldn’t help but to take a pretty large step with the crutches to swing my good leg in the air. It was honestly a terrible idea, but by some kind of miracle, I didn’t fall down nor put all my weight on my bad leg. I definitely have some major mojo right now, check me out. But then my bubble kind of busted when I realized I left behind my cell phone and had no way of getting a hold of Abby. With a sigh, I did a turn and headed my way back to her office, but I stopped right there in my tracks.

      No… fucking… way. Oh man. Oh man oh man oh man. I was smiling almost too wide as I watched the angel herself shake her little feathers. Okay, that sounds ridiculous, but you should have seen her. Ridiculously cute. I tried to contain my smile when she locked eyes with me, but it was almost impossible. “Oh yeah,” I nodded and played along, “Very understandable. They look sturdy.” Was she dancing because of me? I’m just gonna go ahead and say yes for the sake of my ego. I crutched my way over to her and felt a sly grin creep onto my lips. Soon as we were shoulder to shoulder, I glanced over at her and said, “Knew you had a wild side to ya. That explains the tattoo.” With a wink, I walked past her to grab my phone then headed back towards the way I came from. “Remember, 6:30, dancing queen.”

     The day passed on almost unbearably for me. I wanted nothing more than to go home to prepare myself both mentally and physically for my not-date with Kyle tonight. And Abby. As strange as it sounded, the idea of Abby’s presence there was the only thing that kept me from floating away in the clouds. If it wasn’t for the small guarantee that she’d be there, I would’ve been more nervous than I already was, which would’ve been bad on account of my own health problems. But the day went on, and before I knew it, I had been home, shuffling through my wardrobe full of scrubs to find something decent. Not just decent, but something extra nice. I had been hopeless, rummaging through my casual wear for a couple of dresses, pieces of clothing I had probably been previously forced to buy for outings I was forced to go to. As a workaholic, I didn’t have much other than some t-shirts, jeans, and scrubs. It was a miracle I found something presentable. 

      I settled on a comfortable, yet still fancy-looking yellow dress that I hadn’t seen in ages. I was surprised it even still fit me. I remembered buying the number almost a decade ago in college. God, I hoped I didn’t look as old as I felt. The flowers that I wore in my updo might have helped with it a bit, but then again I always added those as a signature. It wasn’t long before I had been prepared both physically and somehow, at the same time, mentally - and I found myself heading out towards Kyle’s house. I followed his directions accordingly and landed on a quaint, authentic Hawaiian home, just like mine, but mine was not nearly as gorgeous. I knocked on the door and waited for Kyle to answer before I gave him a warm smile, my heart pounding for some reason. “Hi,” I said, sounding a bit meek at first, but I redeemed myself by holding out the glass of wine I’d brought. “Wine. It’s... got grapes, which is good for your heart. Still healthy.”

      “I’m sort of an artist,” I said teasingly with a nonchalant shrug. Her giggle, her smile, her everything was so damn contagious. It’s no wonder I recovered so quickly. I was working under the hands of an angel. “6:30 sounds great.” I pushed myself out of the chair and grabbed my crutches before leaning on them and looking up at her. “Do you like barbecue? Do you eat meat? Do you need anything special?” Okay, tone it down, Flynn. “I mean, you deserve a nice meal. Might as well be something you like, right?”

      “And I don’t need anything special. Just... have fruit, probably,” I suggested with a chuckle. “It’s really good for you, balances out your medication.” Even on our little rendezvous outside of work, I still had a weird tendency to look out for him. I couldn’t help it - it just came naturally to me. We paused for a moment outside of my door before officially saying goodbye to each other. With a smile, I said, “I’ll see you tonight, Kyle. Take care.” 

     And with that, we went our separate ways, and I watched for a little bit as Kyle walked away to make sure he could handle the crutches on his own. Once he had been farther away and I was sure he wasn’t going to see me, just in time, a big shelf started to roll through the hallway and hid me from what I was about to do. Happy dance. Leave me alone, I was ecstatic! 

     As I had finished my 360 dance, I spun around to see that the shelf had been gone and Kyle was facing me, standing a few feet away. “Oh, uh... sorry,” I chuckled embarrassingly. “Just... I was really excited about the new shelves.” IDIOT!!

      “Oh come on,” I tease with a smile, “You know me. I’m as casual as they come.” I went to offer to pick her up, but then I realized it’s hard to drive with this cast on my leg. God, it would be embarrassing for Abby to pick her up… “Here,” I told her then reached over to grab a piece of paper and a pen. I drabbled down directions to my house along with my phone number, but of course I couldn’t stop there. I then proceeded to draw a little stick figure with a blob of a cast on their leg. Sexy little stick figure, if you ask me. “I’d pick you up myself, but my doc tells me I can’t drive just yet.” Giving her a wink, I handed her the paper with a warm smile. “Call me if you need any more directions, yeah?”

     Before I could crash and burn in my own mind, Kyle thankfully handed the piece of paper over to me. Seeing the stick figure made me laugh, and I held it in front of him to show him. “Nice self-portrait,” I complimented with a giggle, before looking back down at it. I gave him a nod before glancing back up at him, biting my smile back. It was going to grow if I didn’t stop it. My giddiness was unstoppable and embarrassingly so, but I couldn’t help myself. Whether or not this was a date, Kyle still gave me that feeling of... I don’t know. Like I was special. And I wasn’t used to that. It was nice. “Yeah,” I agreed with a nod, smiling warmly. “I’ll let you know. Um, does 6:30 tonight sound good? -- I’ll see you then.”

      “Feel free to say no,” I reminded her with an awkward chuckle, but then she said something I couldn’t even comprehend … She had never been asked out before? And shit did I want to ask her out? Like out out? I made a mental note to give Abby some money so she could leave early that night. Soon as she finds out why, she will give me hell for the rest of eternity. She’s always teasing me about my damn crush on Rose. Oh son of a bitch did I just admit it finally…. Repress, repress, repress. “Then everyone in the damn world is insane to not being asking you out,” I told her then smiled, “Pardon my language.” I folded my arms over my chest and couldn’t help but to wear a serious expression. “Well, we’re a family of high taste and class so I expect something dressy, not casual, not too formal. Presentable, if you will.” And then I busted out laughing and I couldn’t hold that fake little act any longer. “Wear whatever you want. It’s just me. You basically see me in my pajamas every day, so. You can come in scrubs, for all I care. Either way, you’ll look great, so don’t worry.”

     So I got it together. “Thanks,” I chuckled, blushing a bit. At that point I barely even cared that he cursed. When he started going off about the dress code, though, I began to get a bit nervous. I gave him a shake of my head, one of those Rose looks he was probably familiar with nowadays - the looks that said ‘you little s-word.’ Regardless, I still cracked a smile, both appreciative and unappreciative of his joke. I didn’t have anything super fancy to wear, so I was ready to go through a nervous breakdown looking for some nice clothes. “You made me really nervous. Don’t do that,” I teased, sticking my pen in between the pages of the composition notebook I held in my hands before setting it down. I faced him with a grin. “Thanks. Again,” I chuckled. “So, I’ll, um... I’ll see you tonight? What time? Should I get your address? Ah, it’s in the system, I guess I should just get it from there... Would that be weird? -- Sorry, I just... I’m a rookie.”

      “I made walking my bitch!” I exclaimed and didn’t hold back on the swearing. I was excited, she would understand. It’s not like she hasn’t heard it before from me. I stumbled back into the chair, arm clutching my crutch to give me some sort of support. I grinned ear to ear and looked up at her like a puppy who finally learned a trick. “It hurt a little, but manageable. Did you see my knee? It even bent. This is crazy, right?” I sighed contently and drummed my hands against my thighs excitedly. And then I did something that was probably stupid. Yeah, probably really stupid. Why do I always speak before thinking? “We should definitely celebrate. What time do you get off? Come over for dinner.” Oh my god, she’s going to think I’m creepy. The wide grin began to falter just slightly as reality kicked in, but nothing could take away my boyish smile completely. “I’ll cook. Or, I mean, Abby and I will cook… Or we’ll try. Or we’ll get something out.. I don’t know. Sorry is this weird?”

     I was so proud. 

     I had been in the middle of recording Kyle’s accomplishment in the journal I’d been keeping for him (it made me laugh a little, thinking about it now: baby’s first steps) when I heard his offer. I paused, looking up and listening to him as he stammered, my grin fading. Not that I didn’t want to - I was just surprised. I had my fair share of friends and we went out occasionally, but most of the time I was more of an introvert. I was well liked at work, but I kept to myself outside of the quaint holiday parties we'd have. Needless to say, I spent most of my time in Hawaii peacefully alone. Nonetheless, I reassured him, my smile returning, but that look of shock still adorned my features. “No, no, it’s not weird,” I shook my head, chuckling. “I just... I’ve never been asked out before. Not that - not that this is a date or anything, I mean, Abby’s going to be there, but... it’s just really nice to be invited. I’d love to go,” I nodded, smiling warmly. “Um, should I dress up any way?” 

      Breathing in a heavy breath, I looked up at her and folded my hands together to crack my knuckles. “I’ll give it a shot. Catch me if I fall, okay?” A small chuckle passes my lips and it’s not long till I’m pushing myself up out of the chair with my crutches. Setting them to the side and putting all my weight on my left foot, I breathed in and looked at the finish line.. which was Rose. Not a bad thing to look at. Slowly but surely, I set my foot on the ground and applied little pressure to it. Pain flared up, but it was bearable. I moved one foot in front of the other, just one single step and I was already amazed with myself. Did I just walk? A toothy grin spread across my lips and maybe I got a little bit over confident as I stepped faster towards her, because then I was having to grab onto her shoulders to prevent me from falling. Okay, so it wasn’t graceful, but I did it. I began to laugh with a wide smile. “Holy shit, I walked!”

     Overjoyed, I couldn’t help but grin, laughter bubbling from my lips as I helped him steady himself after reaching me. There wasn’t any gold medal or anything for this accomplishment, but what he had just done was bigger than any prize. He took a big step - literally - to getting better, and I couldn’t have been more proud. “I can’t believe it! Kyle, I’m so proud of you.” I wanted to give him a hug, but knew that I couldn’t, on account of the fact that he probably needed to sit down. I helped him get back on the chair. “That was amazing. How did it feel? Did it hurt any? Oh my gosh, we have to celebrate.”

      I smiled once she turned around like my eyes were always in respectful places. I’m going to hell, you don’t have to remind me, but I couldn’t wait to bring up the tattoo. I’ll save it for later to catch her off guard. As much as I adore Rose, it’s sometimes fun to poke fun at her in a playful kind of way. “Doc, I’ve never had balance,” I tell her playfully, never able to drop that little nickname even though she wasn’t technically my doctor. Whatever. “Walk on my own? Like.. on my leg? You’re really trusting me to do that after I made that entrance?”

     I stood up before starting to move certain things around, like any ferns or chairs he might crash into while trying to walk. There was a perpetual smile on my lips throughout all of this, a little too excited for my own good. Optimism was usually an unrealistic way to go about these certain things, but I had faith, and faith was enough to get us by. “We’re not gonna go far for your first try, but... here.” I stood in front of him, just less than three feet away. “I want you to try walking to me, okay?”