live simply, move slowly, look softly

“you haven’t healed, i can tell from how cruel you are.”

I thought I understood it, that I could grasp it. But I didn’t, not really. Only the smudgeness of it; the pink-slippered, all-containered, semi-precious eagerness of it. I didn’t realise that it would sometimes be more than whole, that the wholeness was a rather luxurious idea. Because it’s the halves that halve you in half. I didn’t know, don’t know, about the inbetween bits; the gory bits of you and the gory bits of me.

I’m sitting with you, in a room full of silence that is constantly being filled with things that we refuse to say to one another. I’ve left you with more of me than I ever intended to give. I’ve felt more for you than my heart could ever afford. And I’ve come back to ask for absolutely nothing in return. I thought I had nothing left to say to you. I swore I’d told you everything. I swore that you were never really listening. But if you did so much as ask me for one last reminder – you should know that my days have always begun and ended with you. One way or another. Whether you were actually here or nowhere to be found. The nerves in my body that refuse to feel anymore still remember your touch. And the rest that have the audacity to feel anything still ache for you. My paralyzed heart still dances when I hear your voice. My bittersweet memory still thinks you taste like honey. My hands will never outgrow you. And my mind could never unlearn you. So, if you did so much as ask me for one last reminder – you should know that it will always end with you.

You’ll always be the one I look for in a crowd of people I’ve loved.

I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any more time for that one.

could be gayer

Sometimes, the best way to be happy is to learn to let go of things you tried hard to hold on to that are no longer good for you

If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself.