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Life is Not Fair…and That’s Why You’re Here

My son and daughter-in-law live in Houston. I can’t even watch the news or I’ll send myself down a rabbit’s hole of worry. They are safe and relatively dry as I write this, so they are among the lucky ones. I can’t even imagine the terror of those living closer to the water.

As I walked along the river barely flowing behind my apartment building (a river that flooded not all that long ago), I…

My Summer of Allowing

It started with Paris. I woke up one day with the thought “I need to go to Paris”. It seemed like a lovely idea, and also a slightly audacious one. I shared it with my daughter, who said “Well then…why not?” I laughed at the idea that I could just pick up and go – and went off to start my day of meetings.

My first meeting was with a new friend, meeting to see how we can support each other’s…

I used to like high places. I loved to climb trees as a child and look down between the branches to the world below. I loved roller coasters – the higher the better – and talked my nervous children into riding them with me. I’d hike up a mountain and stand on the top to take in the vista. And then I got older.

Weird how the older I get, the more I can hardly do any of those activities of old. And…

Last week our local newspaper ran the following headline: Montclair Mom To Challenge Frelinghuysen For Congress. Here is my reaction/internal conversation:

“Oh, good for her! She must have really said ‘enough is enough’.”

Then I read the article. It began…. U.S. Rep. Rodney Frelinghuysen has a new challenger in New Jersey… a former Navy pilot, ex-federal prosecutor and a mother of four.

My next…

I’ll admit that I am a bit “unconventional” when it comes to the typical stereotype of a woman driver. I do NOT stop and ask for directions. I remember actually stopping once, when my college roommate and I were doing a summer road trip around the state and had NO idea where we were going. And yes, these were the days WAY before cell phones, when one actually had to look in a phone book for an…

Taking It All In

Years ago, after my beloved Bernese Mountain dog, Tess, died, I swore I wouldn’t get another dog until it felt right. Sometime after that self-pronouncement, a psychic, unasked, told me that Tess was still sleeping next to my side of the bed and would be there until she found a replacement. Right…

Enter Lily.

Lily, our long-haired shepherd, happened along when I told the kids we were JUST LOOKING…

People Are Good. An Immigrant Reminded Me Of That.

I’ve been selling a lot of things online lately, in preparation for my upcoming downsizing move. When I say “a lot”, I’m not kidding. I had to make a spreadsheet to keep track of what I listed where, for how much and who was interested. It was nearly a full-time job. I entered into this with great trepidation, as I was anticipating loads of scammers who would be trying to rip me off. What I found…

How Failure Made Me A Success

“What do you do when you’re doing you’re best and it’s not enough?” – Keith Urban in an interview in Rolling Stone

Been there, done that. More than once. There are words I could use to describe that feeling that are not very polite. It’s a scary, potentially debilitating experience. People choose options at that point that can include numbing out, checking out, stuffing feelings, or going into…

Everyone Seemed to Fit In, But Not Me

I was in Atlanta again, surrounded by perfect women with perfect bodies, hair, clothes, and makeup. An aesthetician giving me a facial was aghast at my response of “soap” when she asked me what I use on my face. I was the only one of my friends not married, the queen of 3 month relationships with guys who had no intention or capability of going any farther than that. The only thing I knew for…

It’s a Head Game

My dog, Lily, has been at it again: teaching me what I need to know. This last lesson is about facing obstacles and how to move past them. I’m sure she’s not enjoying this particular role, but I am grateful for it, nonetheless.

Lily is a 6-year-old German Shepherd in the early stages of hip dysplasia. Additionally, it takes her joints a minute or two to loosen up, making it more difficult to…

In Search of Gloria

My fiancé is a kind, generous, loving and funny man. We’ve been together for 8 years now, through each other’s ups and downs. We have each other’s backs. The other day he said to me, “I was talking to Rod and he said ‘Your girlfriend does that feminist stuff, doesn’t she?’ I told him, yes, she works with women but she is not a feminist.”

I thought he knew me.

Where is Gloria Steinem when you need…

I walked out of the house, headed for a meeting. Running late, as usual. I closed the front door, took out my keys, and clicked the button. Nothing happened. I clicked again. Still nothing. Now I was annoyed. I looked down at my keys to see what the problem was. It was then that I realized I was aiming my car key at the house, trying to lock the house door by clicking the car door lock button.…

Blue Skies and Self Care

Many, many years ago, when I was a child and living in Michigan, our family would travel to New Jersey each summer to visit my grandparents who lived there. I did not like New Jersey. I really have no good memory why I did not, except a feeling that it was always gray there. I don’t remember blue skies and sunny days at all. I vowed to NEVER live in NJ…and this year will be my 28th year here!

I…

The Intentionality of Perfectionism

I am a recovering perfectionist. And, while probably never totally cured, I am light years from where I used to be! Gratefully.

I’ve told the story before of the Christmas decorations my children hung on one quadrant on the tree which I needed to rearrange after they went to bed. But it goes way back for me, as the “good girl”, who needed to get the best grades and be at the top of the class. I…

The “B” Word

Last year, LeanIn.org came up with a campaign entitled #banbossy. It was all about the fact that when boys assert themselves, they are labeled as “leaders”, but when girls do the same, they are labeled “bossy”. I have proudly worn that moniker, although I think my sisters would say it was for other reasons. Bossy is just one more “B word” ascribed to women that we would like to shed.

Of course,…

I may not win the lottery tonight, but so far today I already received something more precious.

This morning, after working out, I threw on my warmest coat and hat over my sweats and headed out to drop off my daughter’s car at the repair shop. The temperature was 21 degrees, with a wind chill of 10 degrees. Winter has finally arrived, at least temperature-wise. Before I dropped off the car, I made a quick stop at the store to pick up goodies for a Mastermind group I am hosting this…

Live Like You Are Dying

Apparently David Bowie knew he was dying. He planned out and executed all that he wanted to achieve before he left, including a new album, which hit on his birthday, only 2 days before his death. He sounds very much like a man who grabbed for all that life had to muster in his final days.

Here is the thing: we are all dying.

I don’t know what it is: having a close friend die recently, hearing…