Jam's Jar

As for your throat, he’s rather partial to it just because of how vulnerable it is. Not as if he would bite it… probably, but more so because it’s so exposed. Whenever you wear a scarf, Dirk can’t help but feel a warm, pleased sensation in his chest. The fact that you’re trusting him, knowingly or not, to guard such a vulnerable spot makes him almost smug with satisfaction.

C - Cuddling - Do they cuddle? How?

Dirk is one of the biggest cuddlebugs in the house by far. It’s one of his favorite ways to spend time with you, and he’s pretty flexible on positions for it, too! Personally, though, he prefers to have his head tucked under your chin and to lie on top of you like a weighted blanket. He’s more of a ‘little spoon’, after all, and those positions tend to make him feel more comfortable and safe. Dirk also loves the way you shiver ever-so-slightly when he puffs his warm breath against your neck, or when he leaves soft kisses along the column of your throat. He’ll always play innocent, but he loves to tease you.

D - Dates - What is their ideal date?

Overall, dates with Dirk are very chill and low-key. Movie nights, dinner dates (at home or otherwise), and visits to comic book stores are all Dirk’s idea of a ‘good’ date. He generally prefers locations/activities which don’t involve interacting with a ton of strangers, partially so he can keep you to himself and partially because he just can’t be bothered with other people sometimes.

Visits to comic book stores, especially, are one of Dirk’s favorites, even if it doesn’t seem like something he’d be all that into. Yeah, he could do without the BO smell and the too-high pricing on what he considers ‘mediocre’ comics, but he loves those trips all the same. He’s so glad to have someone who genuinely seems interested in the comics he’s into, especially Bat-Man, and who doesn’t judge him for picking up some of the ‘weirder’ merch (cough cough his dakimakura cough cough.) He could honestly sit there for hours explaining all the ins and outs of his favorite comic series’ lore to you, but, unfortunately, stores have to close eventually. Maybe you two can continue the discussion at home, preferably slightly less clothed?

E - Equality - How do they split things like chores/bills?

Dirk’s cool with splitting things like bills and chores, but he will get kinda pissy if you deviate from the agreed splitting of them without doing something to balance it out in return (IE not doing dishes and then also not doing another chore to make up for not doing dishes.) He’s still really struggling with getting used to being in a healthy relationship for once, so it’s really tricky for him to not feel like he always has to ‘keep score’ to make sure he’s not being cheated or treated unfairly.

The only deviation he’s chill with is when it’s a special occasion, say, one of your birthdays, in which case he’d be fine with the chores/immediate bills being uneven on that day. Even so, he’ll probably still feel indebted/owed (depending on the occasion), so he miiight try to keep things balanced, anyhow. Perhaps with some extra canoodling...?

F - First Kiss - Who initiates the first kiss? How does it go?

(The first kiss you two share is actually included under the ‘love confession’, but I felt bad leaving this empty, so here’s a description of the first non-heat-of-the-moment kiss you have…!)

It had been a week, give or take, since your actual first kiss, and Dirk wasn’t exactly avoiding kissing you again; God, no, he was just worried about the potential of fucking it up. He already knew he could be emotionally constipated as hell and, frankly, kind of a nightmare at times to decipher emotionally, and he didn’t want to make it worse. Even so, he couldn’t help the way he stared at your lips when you were hanging out, or the way he laved his tongue over his own lips slowly, almost teasingly, when you two were talking. The little hitch in your breath was nice, but it wasn’t enough. Not yet.

He had been actively daydreaming about what it might’ve felt like to kiss you again when you nudged his arm, asking him what he was thinking about and dragging him out of his reverie. The look of curiosity on your face made his heart flutter a little, and he internally cursed himself for getting so giddy over something so simple.

Gathering up all his wits, he decided to make his move, gently grasping your chin between his thumb and index finger and tilting your head to face him. With that damnable smirk of his, he spoke lowly and softly, “Just thinking about how soft your lips were the other day. Like a shirt fresh out of the dryer…”

A frown twitched at his lips when you snorted at the comparison, but he quickly brushed it off, tilting your head back as he leaned in.

“Yeah? You like that one? How about this…?”

Needless to say, the noises that you made following that certainly weren’t laughs.

G - Gifts - Do they give gifts often? What kinds?

Dirk doesn’t really ‘do’ gifts, but if he sees something neat that makes him think of you, he’ll get it for you. Usually small stuff like a pen, a cool rock, or a silly keychain he saw that's from a show you like. Similarly, he doesn’t really care about receiving gifts. New clothing is cool, sure, but that’s not really for him, is it? The main ‘gift’ he’d honestly appreciate is some quality time with you, preferably sprawled across the bed and watching dumb videos on your phone. Anything chill and with no real potential for drama, even though it seems to follow him like a magnet.

(That said, if you’re really set on getting him a physical gift, he definitely wouldn’t say no to some new Bat-Man comics or merch!)

H - Honesty - How honest are they with their s/o?

Dirk isn’t the most honest; It’s not that he actively lies, it’s that he omits things or keeps quiet when he really shouldn’t. If you’re having a disagreement about something, for example, he’s fairly likely to sigh and go “No, it’s fine. Whatever. Seriously, I don’t care,” and so on and so forth. He doesn’t really believe that you care, initially, so he doesn’t see any point in sharing his thoughts or opinions on certain things. Things with you are good, and he really doesn’t want to rock the boat. Unfortunately, this leads to him being pretty passive-aggressive, initially.

Once he gets more comfortable, he can be almost rude in his honesty. It’s not intentional, of course, but it’s the natural course of progression for him considering he went from bickering and silence to actual, open conversation. Give him some time to adjust. He really, truly is trying for you.

Additionally, if you ask him about things outright, he’s not going to hide them from you. Sure, he might not bring up hanging out with someone (for example, the Hanks), but if you ask then he’ll have no problems with telling you what they did, who he was with, etcetera, so long as you treat him with trust and respect. There’s a world of difference between asking him where he was and accusing him of being unfaithful because he didn’t tell you where he went.

I - 'I Love You' - How do they say/express "I love you"s? How often?

Dirk isn’t really the type for ‘I love you’s. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, of course, he just shows it a little differently. Every stolen kiss, every bite that brands your skin, every sweet caress in the dewy hours of the morning, those are his ‘I love you’s. The only time you might get an ‘I love you’ out of him is when you’re already asleep and he whispers it against your hairline before drifting off, keeping you wrapped up tightly in his arms as he does. He doesn’t want to open himself up to that kind of vulnerability again, to really loving someone, but with time he might be a little more willing...

J - Jealousy - Do they get jealous? If so, how do they handle it?

If you look in the dictionary for the definition of ‘jealous’, you’ll find a photo of Dirk Deveraux. He wants to trust you, so most of his jealousy is directed at the other people around you (though he does, occasionally, find himself worrying about you.) Dirk tries to put a lid on things, but he can’t help the way his stomach flips when he sees you laughing it up with someone else. You wouldn’t be able to tell right away, not until he came over and wrapped his arms around you from behind. Doesn’t matter who you’re talking to, Dirk is setting his head on your shoulder and glowering at them. If they still don’t get the hint, he’s not above escalating to nipping/biting at your neck.

Once the other person has left, you can try to scold him, but he’ll be too wrapped up in his own head, trying to prove to you, and to himself, that he’s the best option for you. Consistent, firm reassurance is the key to getting these episodes under control, but he’s always going to be a little wary of other people around you, even after he trusts you completely. Surely you won’t mind a few lovebites to show the others that they don’t stand a chance, right…?

K - Kissing - How do they kiss?

Dirk’s kisses are messy, hungry, and borderline feral. Doesn’t matter where you are, he has little to no sense of decorum and will try to kiss you with tongue in public (though he is at least decent enough to pull you off to the side for this.) On the upside, he’s a very good kisser, and the kisses are guaranteed to leave you breathless. The downside? His hands tend to wander when you’re kissing, so unless you enjoy the idea of being groped in public or where the other objects might see you, it might be better to head somewhere private.

L - Love Confession - How did they confess/react to their s/o's confession?

Things had been cautiously romantic between the two of you following Dirk’s breakup with Harper. You flirted, sure, cuddled on occasion, but there was never really a proper label on the two of you. Dirk certainly wasn’t in any rush to get one, not when he had Bats and was still enjoying his newly-acquired free time, but…

That sentiment changed when he noticed other objects in the house flirting with you. He shouldn’t have been all that jealous, really. He had no real claim to you, given the fact you weren’t actually dating, but that didn’t stop the uncomfortable twisting of his gut when he saw Tony flexing his muscles for you or Amir piling on the flattery. As a result, he subtly began to lay claim to you in small, easily deniable ways. Resting his arm around your shoulders or hips, casually referring to you as ‘my human’ (he would correct himself to ‘the human’ if pointed out, claiming he’d never used the word ‘my’ at all), and so on.

Those subtle gestures weren’t enough, however, especially when the other objects continued to press.

Finally, after trailing after you all day like a lost puppy, Dirk grabbed you arm and asked flat-out, “What are we?” Which, in all honesty, you found a bit audacious considering he was the one so averse to putting a label on things. When you pointed this out, he shot back immediately, “You think I get all dirty like this for just anyone…?”

Regardless of how obtuse and indirect his wording was, the kiss he gave you cleared things right up for you.

M - Mornings - How are mornings with them?

You’d have an easier time squeezing blood from a stone than you would getting Dirk out of bed in the mornings. The moment you wake up, you’ll quickly realize that all the blankets have been snatched away as you slept, leaving Dirk curled up on the very edge of the bed and wrapped in a thick cocoon of blankets. If you intend to attempt to excavate him from that pile, you’ll want to at least prepare some coffee first.

Strangely, it seems as though he has some sort of sixth sense for when you leave the bed, as once you’re downstairs there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll walk into the kitchen within a few minutes. When he does this, he follows a regular routine of wrapping his arms around your waist, tugging you backward and against his chest, and then pressing sleepy, soft kisses against your neck. Hope that the coffee’ll be done soon, otherwise Dirk might try to… distract you.

If he doesn’t end up getting up, you may have to physically drag him out of bed. The smell of coffee will do some of the work for you, waking up the ‘baser’ part of his brain, but unless you start tugging on his arms/legs or pulling the blankets off, he’ll be asleep until around 11 AM. Once you do wake him up, prepare to deal with grumpy Dirk for a few minutes! Fortunately, he’s fairly easy to appease, as simply cuddling up to his side and offering up that coffee will get him calm enough to stop pouting, at least.

N - Nicknames - Do they use nicknames?

Dirk actually really loves nicknames! He particularly enjoys using teasing nicknames, anything from outright corny titles like ‘twinkletoes’ or ‘loudmouth’ to incredibly specific stuff like referring to you as the thing you spill the most on your shirt (mustard, ketchup, soup, and so on.) Other than those, he likes the classic ‘babe’, ‘gorgeous’, ‘handsome’, etc.. Whatever makes you blush the most is what he’ll end up using.

O - Overprotective - What makes them overprotective?

Unless it’s related to jealousy, Dirk’s not that overprotective. He trusts you to handle yourself and not make stupid decisions, mostly because he outright tells you 90% of the time when you’re about to make a stupid decision. If you keep pushing after that, it’s your funeral.

An exception to this is when it looks like someone’s bothering you and won’t buzz off, in which case he’s ready to come over and tell them off, himself. Especially if they’re starting to look physically aggressive. He may not be the best boyfriend, hell, he’s not even sure if he’s a good boyfriend, but he’ll be damned if he lets anyone lay their hands on you.

P - PDA - Do they like PDA? What kinds?

Dirk is a massive fan of PDA of any kind. Whenever you’re somewhere together, in the house or outside of it, he’s constantly hanging off of you (literally and figuratively.)

At home, he tends to cling to you in more obvious ways, looping his arms around your waist and leaning his head on your shoulder/top of your head. He loves stealing quick kisses when he walks by, too, just to see how flustered he can get you. The less appropriate of company, the more likely he is to do something. Watching someone (namely Daisuke or Friar Errol) look scandalized by him stealing quick kisses or gropes from you is always worth the effort, in his opinion.

In public, he’s a little more subtle. He’ll have a hand in your back pocket as you walk, or an arm around your shoulders; Anything small that says ‘hey, this person is mine, back off.’ Miraculously, he seems to have a little more decorum in public, primarily because he has no interest in getting the cops called on him for ‘public indecency’ or whatever. Even so, who’s really going to be able to tell if he cops a feel whilst his hand is in your back pocket…? Or if he kisses you senseless around the corner when nobody’s looking…?

Q - Quality Time - How do they spend quality time with their s/o?

Most of your quality time spent with Dirk is time spent cuddling or lounging around. He’s not much for ‘active’ activities, barring the occasional shopping trip. Set him up with a comfy spot to cuddle (bed, couch, pile of clothes, etc.) and some videos on your phone and he’s about as happy as can be. Despite the fact that he wouldn’t openly admit it (despite his admitted love for the character), he’s also up for watching some Bat-Man theory videos. Ironically, of course. All these plebs have no idea what they’re talking about… usually.

Dirk’s also up for some movie marathons, especially if they’re superhero flicks. Whenever a new Bat-Man movie drops, he’s always willing to watch it at least once, even if he thinks it deviates too much from the comics. Speaking of the comics, he’s more than happy to read those whilst cuddling up with you, too! Just don’t be surprised at his loud, semi-obnoxious color commentary on each page as he reads through them...

R - Romance - How romantic are they?

Dirk isn’t particularly ‘romantic’, at least not in a traditional sense. He’s not the type to buy you roses or chocolate, or take you out to fancy dinners, or anything of that sort. He doesn’t remember anniversaries particularly well, either, nor does he keep a close enough watch on his schedule to remember upcoming events that you two are going to.

That said, what he does remember, he absolutely makes count. Little preferences like your favorite songs, favorite foods, how you prefer to be treated when you’re upset, your favorite color, tiny things that seemingly mean nothing in the moment but add up over time to allow him to do special things for you. The one date he does remember, fortunately, is your birthday, and he uses all of your little preferences to make sure it’s perfect, even if he’s just feeding that information to the people doing most of the planning. Similarly, that information comes in super handy on Valentine’s and Christmas, the former of which he’d forget if it weren’t for Amir blabbing on about it the closer and closer it got. He still won’t be getting you any flowers, but he can at least snag you a surprise reservation someplace and get you set up with some nice food. And, to be fair, the cuddling he does with you afterward is pretty damn romantic.

S - Secure - How secure are they in their relationship?

For obvious reasons, Dirk isn’t particularly secure in your relationship. He’s more than happy in it, happier he’s been in any other relationship, but he’s not entirely sure you feel the same. Or, if you do, that you’ll stay feeling that way. Things change, people change, and whether or not he’ll admit it, he’s terrified that you’re going to drift apart like he and Harper did. The thought of arguing with you every day, caught in a cycle of breaking up and getting back together, never truly being happy with you again; It makes him sick.

When you’re together, though, those worries quiet down. Seeing you smile, feeling your warmth against his chest, it’s like he never had the worries in the first place. They’ll come back, he knows, but for those few, blissful moments, he’s truly secure and happy.

T - Teasing - Do they tease? How do they react to teasing?

Teasing is essentially Dirk’s love language. Much as he enjoys physical touch, he loves teasing just as much if not even more. It’s how he expresses comfort and familiarity with people, even if he can go a little too far at times. For his part, he does his best to rein it in to keep it from being outright mean, but you will, on occasion, need to tell him to dial it back. He’ll, of course, get defensive over this, but will eventually understand.

If you were to tease him, he’d be all for it. He has a few things that would legitimately set him off into snapping back in an angry manner, but otherwise is happy to tease you back in a fairly lighthearted fashion. He also loves sarcasm, so if you can dish it out, he’ll return it no problem. Hell, he honestly finds it pretty attractive when it’s you doing it.

U - Upset - How do they act when they're/their s/o is upset?

Dirk has a habit of lashing out when he’s upset. It’s not inherently intentional, nor is it something he’s proud of, but it happens all the same. Whether it starts with a backhanded comment about how the other person is in the wrong or he goes straight into shouting, it always devolves into a full-blown screaming match. Well… almost always. With you, at least, he tries to rein it in. He’s not good at keeping his temper, so when he can feel himself getting upset he’ll just leave the room/area if possible, telling you that he needs space. If you keep pushing and following him after that, he’s likely to explode at you, but damn if the guilt from it isn’t going to eat him alive later. If you weren’t the one who upset him, he’ll come find you after he’s done chewing the other person out, leaning against you or lying his head in your lap as he tells you at-length about what the other person did that pissed him off so badly. Grab a snack, you might be here for a while.

If you’re upset, Dirk’s reaction depends on whether or not he thinks you’re being reasonable. If not, he’s going to tell you outright that he thinks you’re overreacting. He’s not going to shame you for that, he’s not that much of a hypocrite, but he’s not going to offer you much sympathy beyond some cuddling and a listening ear (or space, if that’s what you prefer.) If he does think you’re being reasonable, however, then all bets are off. He’s ready to go marching down and absolutely eviscerate the person who upset you, physically or verbally. It’s up to you at that point whether to hold him back or let him loose.

V - Vulnerable - How do they show vulnerability?

Dirk tries his damndest to never be vulnerable around anyone. He’s been hurt too many times, and the thought of being hurt again leaves a sour taste in his mouth, even if he’s hopeful that you won’t.

When he does show vulnerability, it’s in small, subtle ways, at least at first. Brushing his hand against yours when he’s anxious instead of just jamming his hands in his pockets, asking you what you think about something he’s doing, that kind of stuff. The first time you really see it is when you’re cuddling in the closet in a pile of dirty clothes (in a pile of himself, technically?) and he dozes off to sleep. The lines of his face relax, allowing you a glimpse of who he might be if he didn’t have all his baggage and anxieties weighing him down. It’s oddly foreign to you, but flattering all the same that he would let you catch a glimpse of him like this.

You know that when he wakes up, it’ll be that practiced expression of disinterest and the subtle tightness around his eyes and mouth, but now you’ll know what it could be. And you hope he’ll let you see it again, preferably when he’s awake, next time.

W - Wounded - How do they act when their s/o is injured/sick?

Dirk is fairly accustomed to being around you when you’re sick, so it’s more ‘business as usual’ for him than it is for anyone else. That’s not necessarily a good thing, however, as it means he doesn’t really remind you to do anything other than ‘take it easy’ and occasionally remind you to drink some water. He’s more than happy to let the other objects, particularly Farya, do the heavy lifting in that regard. That said, he’s also more than happy to keep you company whilst you’re sick! Since you should be bed-resting, anyway, it’s the perfect chance to watch some movies together. :)

If you’re injured, Dirk is similarly unhelpful, though a little less so. If you need to get somewhere, Dirk will carry you or act as a crutch to help you get there, even if he teases you about it. It’s only if you intend to do something that’s going to drastically worsen your injury that he finally pipes up and tells you that that’s a dumb idea. Otherwise, he’s fairly chill and unaffected by the whole ordeal.

X - X-tra - Random fluff hc

Dirk has a lot of unhealed mental/emotional trauma which causes him to act fairly hot-headed or agitated at times. After his route, he’d certainly be aware of these issues, but it’d take some extra pushing to get him to really work on them. If it was something that you expressed really mattered to you, he’d get to it a little quicker. It’ll be a bumpy process either way, but the thought of being better, not just for you but also for himself, makes the whole prospect seem less daunting. As a result, he's taken up a bit of journaling to help steady his mood and help him process stuff better. Though he won't let you look inside, there's a fair number of entries about cute little things he's noticed about you, as well as particularly happy memories he has of you.

Y - Yearning - Do they yearn? How so?

Dirk wouldn’t really admit to yearning, but it’s definitely something he does. He thought about you a lot when he was with Harper, as shameful as it might be to admit. You exude such a safe, warm vibe, and it makes him want to be around you as much as possible. Even after you get together, he still thinks about you quite a lot, daydreaming about cuddling up with you at the end of the day, talking about some inane things you both got up to, and then drifting off to sleep wrapped around each other. It’s why he sometimes zones out, getting a distant, happy look on his face, smiling for seemingly no reason in particular; Even if he struggles to say it outright, you bring that smile to his face every time. <3

Z - Zzz - What's it like to sleep beside them?

Dirk’s body is like a loud, hot furnace. Half the time, he’ll cuddle up to you in your sleep and you’ll wake up drenched in sweat during the dead of summer, and the other half of the time you’ll wake up shivering because he decided to roll himself up in the blankets in his sleep and hoard all the heat mid winter. Gods, and the snoring. You had initially thought it was someone’s muffler-less car driving past late at night, or perhaps a malfunctioning AC, but when you realized the horribly loud sound was coming straight from Dirk, you were in a state of disbelief. Feel free to cuddle up to him at night, but there’s no guarantee you’ll wake up in a position anything like what you went to sleep in, as Dirk moves very often in his sleep.

B - Body - What's their favorite part of their s/o's body?

Broadly speaking, Volt’s favorite part of you is your face. More specifically, he adores your eyes and your smile. It’s the first thing he looks at when he sees you, and the last thing his gaze falls upon as you leave. Of course, that’s not the only part of you that he loves, as your hands are also delightfully soft, your figure perfectly shaped such that you fit right at home in his arms… Volt loves all of you, even the parts you don’t; Especially the parts you don’t. Eddie’s favorite part of you is your hands and your neck. Your hands just feel so small and soft in his, even if they’re not actually all that much smaller than his. It stirs up that protective streak within him, making him want to keep you right where he can see you all night long. Your neck, on the other hand, is a place he’d never openly admit to favoring, but you can tell from the way he acts that it’s something he adores. Mostly, he seems to favor it when he’s got you held from behind, ducking his head down to leave soft, lingering kisses along the junction of your neck and shoulder. The goosebumps you get never fail to bring a smile to his face.

C - Cuddling - Do they cuddle? How?

Typically, the three of you will cuddle together when possible. Though Eddie’s a little harder to corral into bed, he has a tougher time resisting you and Volt bothering asking him over and over. When you do finally curl up in bed together, you’ll typically find yourself either sandwiched between the two men or tucked against Eddie’s chest whilst Volt spoons him from behind.

Volt is naturally very warm, which is only made clearer when the two of you are cuddling. His cuddling preferences depend on whether he’s snuggling up to you or to Eddie, as he prefers to honeymoon hug you, but knows that Eddie prefers to have a little more space. As such, when cuddling with Eddie, he prefers to spoon him from behind. With either of you, he’ll often tuck his head into the crook of your neck, puffing out soft, warm breaths to tease you from time to time, running his fingers along your stomach or back and letting out soft buzzes of electricity, just enough to tingle against your skin.

Eddie, conversely, is rather cold, especially his hands and feet. Despite how he might seem, he rather enjoys having you loosely cradled against his chest, a solid reminder that you’re there and with him; All the better if Volt is spooning him from behind. He needs a little more space than Volt does, mostly around his face, so it might be best to tuck your head in under his chest or rest it on a separate pillow from the one Eddie’s using. Either way, try not to move too much once you settle in-- Eddie’s a heavy sleeper, but he also has a deathgrip on things when he’s asleep. Choose your position wisely!

D - Dates - What is their ideal date?

As mentioned in my fluff HCs post, there’s something of a date schedule between the three of you. As such, you have pretty frequent dates with them both one-on-one and as a group!

Dates with all three of you tend to be a little hectic, but still very enjoyable! All the better if you go someplace the three of you can compete (in a lighthearted fashion.) They’ll both come out of their shells more when it’s the three of you than when it’s just two of you, so they’re open to way more options; Laser tag, rollerskating, a trip to the beach, even karaoke. Eddie doesn’t participate as much on the activities as Volt does, sure, but he’s mostly there to keep a ‘leash’ of sorts on the two of you. If either of you start going overboard, he’s there to rein you back in, which is pretty invaluable considering how carried away Volt can get at times. The only time Eddie ever really gets ‘carried away’ on your dates is when he and Volt end up competing over something, usually something small and ridiculous like a carnival prize. Despite the fact that the prize is probably only worth, like, sixty cents, the two men treat it like it’s life-or-death because it’s for you.

When going on a one-on-one date with Volt, he enjoys enjoying something classic with you, usually dinner someplace nice. He’s fairly flexible, willing to go wherever you want so long as it’s a sit-down place. After dinner, he loves to take you dancing, whether it’s out somewhere or just in your room (though he does have a preference for doing so in public, as it gives him a chance to show you off to everyone else!) He loves to end off each date by giving you a kiss on the back of the hand and walking you back to your room, even if it’s only a few steps away.

Dates with Eddie are pretty low-key, as he’s not really all that into the idea of going on dates, anyhow. He loves spending time with you, sure, but the pressure and expectations that come with a ‘date’ tend to make him reconsider. If you can convince him, however, he’ll tag along with you to whatever place you want to go. Though he’d never admit it, he has a soft spot for some of the cheesier stuff like carnivals. He especially loves it when you two head into the mirror maze or the haunted house and he gets a chance to hold on to your hand nice and tightly. For safety, of course.

E - Equality - How do they split things like chores/bills?

Eddie usually takes on the hands-on tasks between the three of you (cooking, maintenance, etc.), whereas Volt takes on the ‘emotional’ side of things (planning dates, lavishing the two of you in affection, and so on.) With you in the mix, it’s initially a bit tricky to find your spot, as they seem to be so perfectly balanced, albeit also very co-dependent, with one another. Still, if you’re serious about wanting to take on some of the work, either of them would be more than happy to let you help them. Eddie, especially, would appreciate the help, as he tends to overwork himself quite frequently.

As for bills, Eddie and Volt have no qualms about covering all of those. It wouldn't even occur to them to ask you to pay for anything, partially because they like to provide for you and partially out of habit. If you insisted, they'd be fine with going halfsies on stuff, but there's not a snowball's chance in hell you could convince either of them to let you pay for the entirety of something (a large bill, dinner, etc..)

F - First Kiss - Who initiates the first kiss? How does it go?

(A/N: Both of these happened PRE love confession.)

Your first kiss with Volt is nothing short of electric.

It had occurred late night at the Breaker Box. Volt had just finished escorting out the last of the patrons, leaving only you and Volt inside the bar. Just before you could leave, he had held out an arm to stop you.

Looking down at you with a dazzling smile, he had asked, “May I have this dance?”

Once you had taken his hand, he had guided you carefully back toward the main floor, weaving between the half-put-away tables and chairs to the center of the room. Satisfied with the space you had, he began to softly hum, alternating between playfully twirling you around the space and holding you against his chest, one hand resting against your lower back and the other one grabbing your right hand.

Abruptly, when the song he was singing reached its crescendo, he suddenly dipped you, his hair falling like a curtain around your face and his lips brushing against yours in the faintest of caresses. You could almost believe you’d simply imagined it, were it not for the pleased grin and pink hue to Volt’s face.

After another minute or so of dancing, he finally guided you back to the front door, urging softly as you left, “We simply must do this again, sometime. I’ll be waiting, Livewire.”

--

Eddie’s first kiss with you had been much simpler, but no less sweet. It had been late at night, and he had insisted on walking you ‘home’ from the Breaker Box. Despite the fact that it was only a couple feet, he had insisted, leading you to believe there was some other reason besides supposed ‘safety concerns’ that made him walk you back.

Once you had gotten to your bedroom door, you turned to face him, only to be met with Eddie’s lips pressing against yours. Eddie, for his part, looked equally surprised as you were, pausing for a second before jolting back as if burned. It was obvious he had been aiming for a simple peck on the cheek, and yet...

“That-- I didn’t—” he paused, attempting to collect himself before letting out a soft sound between a growl and a sigh, “Everything’s just so damn complicated with you, isn’t it?”

A few long beats of silence passed between you before he relented, rolling his shoulders with another sigh, tilting his head away as he spoke, “Get some rest, will you? I’ll see you around…”

Though you could’ve been imagining it, you could almost swear you saw him smile as he left.

G - Gifts - Do they give gifts often? What kinds?

Volt absolutely loves to shower you in gifts, especially clothing! He loves nothing more than to see a smile on your face, and giving you gifts is a fairly easy way to ensure that happens. Make no mistake, though, these gifts are heartfelt and very personal. He’s not just giving you a giftcard or something, no, he’s recalling months worth of things you offhandedly mentioned wanting but being unable to afford/ship in and using all of his available resources (around-the-house connections and Mac) to get them for you. His favorite thing to get for you is clothing, especially if it matches or complements he and Eddie’s aesthetics.

Eddie, on the other hand, doesn’t really get you that many gifts, as he prefers to show his affection via acts of service and whatnot. If he does get you a gift, it’s usually for your birthday or some holiday, otherwise it’s fairly limited to just fixing you whatever drinks you like at the bar and counting that as a ‘gift’. He has, on occasion, been known to break this habit and get you a thing here and there, particularly if you seem to really, really want it. Take him to a carnival and beg him for one of those prizes you can win, he may call it dumb but you will be leaving the carnival with that prize.

H - Honesty - How honest are they with their s/o?

Eddie and Volt are both fairly accustomed to hiding their problems from everyone, including one another. Though they’ve partially compensated for this by learning one another’s tells, you’re left, unfortunately, mostly in the dark when attempting to figure out if either of them are struggling with something. They’ll tell you if you’ve done something to upset them, sure, but outside of that and minor grievances they have in their daily lives you’d have an easier time pulling blood from a stone.

If you’re persistent enough, however, you might have more luck getting them to open up. It’ll be slow to start, but they’ll eventually feel comfortable enough to divulge just a few of their more serious concerns to you.

After helping with the power problems, they’re always honest about those. The last thing they want is another repeat of that whole situation.

I - 'I Love You' - How do they say/express "I love you"s? How often?

Eddie doesn’t really say “I love you” outright, not unless you’re already asleep in his arms or too far away to hear him. Something in him is just a little too nervous to make that leap, to say it instead of just feeling it. No, instead, he shows his love via little acts of service and devotion. There’s always a drink waiting for you at the bar, he’s always got a hand on your lower back when you’re working on fixing something around the Breaker Box with him, he’s always giving you a kiss goodnight before he goes to sleep, whether you’re awake or not.

Volt, conversely, is much more willing to say “I love you” out loud. Typically, he’ll say it just after giving you a kiss goodbye or cuddling up to sleep with you for the night, but he’ll also say it back whenever you say it first (unlike Eddie.) That said, saying it outright isn’t the main way he expresses his love. No, he prefers to express his love more boldly through gifts, affectionate touches, and flirtatious words. There will be no doubt in your mind that Volt worships the ground you walk on, especially considering just how many times he’s told you how much you and Eddie light up his life. <3

J - Jealousy - Do they get jealous? If so, how do they handle it?

Neither of them would openly admit to being jealous, but there’d be signs.

Volt tends to wrap an arm around you whenever you’re in public together, a silent ‘claiming’ gesture, especially when you’re near someone who seems to be taking a little too much of an interest in you. Whether or not you notice, Volt certainly does, his hair nearly buzzing with restrained energy as he stares down at the person talking to you. Though Volt keeps up his jovial, friendly attitude on the outside, he’s internally holding himself back from physically pulling you away from the whole situation. You’re independent, you can handle yourself, he knows these things, but damn if you don’t trigger his protective instincts sometimes…!

When you’re away from the situation, Volt wouldn’t immediately say anything about it, instead lavishing you with kisses and gentle touches, giving you dozens and dozens of small reminders that he’s yours just as much as you’re his.

Where Eddie is is a determining factor in how he’ll act when he’s jealous. If he’s in public with you, he has no qualms about giving the person a quick goodbye and pulling you away with him. If you’re at the Breaker Box, however, a little more decorum needs to be maintained. Just a little, though. He’ll keep fixing you your regular drinks, but when someone seems to be getting a little too cozy chatting with you, he’ll switch things up. You’ll still get your drinks perfectly fine, but the person chatting to you will suddenly find that their drinks are repulsive, a bitter cocktail that tastes like dust and battery acid.

The moment they leave to go rinse their mouth out, Eddie’s leaning on the bar counter to chat with you. He doesn’t say anything about the person who just left, instead taking the time to check in and make sure you’re alright. He’s not necessarily looking for a reward, but if you wanted to give him a quick peck, he wouldn’t say no.

K - Kissing - How do they kiss?

Whilst Volt loves cutesy little gesture-based kisses, such as kissing you on the back of the hand, he’s also a fan of very passionate, borderline indecent kissing. Be assured that if he’s had a drink or two by the time you show up at the Breaker Box, he’ll whisk your straight off your feet and kiss you with everything he has in him. Additionally, he loves to tangle his fingers into your hair when he’s kissing you, and he’d absolutely melt if you did the same to him!

Eddie is much more reserved about his kisses, at least publicly. He’s not much for PDA, so the most you’re likely to get is a peck on the cheek from him. In private, however, he’s much more passionate, cupping your chin with his thumb and forefinger as he leans in to capture your lips in a lingering kiss. The soft sigh he lets out through his nose and the quiet hum he follows it up with let you know he’s absolutely savoring every moment of it, and gods above help you if you gasp when he darts out his tongue.

L - Love Confession - How did they confess/react to their s/o's confession?

The love confession between you three had, in all honesty, been something of a mess. It was just after you had helped Eddie reset the power and the lights had finally flickered back on. There was a faint buzz of electricity in the air, drawing your attention to, blessedly, Volt, who appeared unharmed beside Eddie. A sigh of relief had barely passed over your lips before Eddie spoke.

“It actually worked,” he breathed, blinking slowly, as if in disbelief. There was a shakiness to his voice and an unfamiliar light in his eyes, as if he was readjusting to some new level of energy he was unaccustomed to. He began to ramble, talking about how hard he had been holding on and how he might not have ever let go and allowed things to be fixed if you hadn’t come along. That was when Volt cut in.

“Eddie?” he began, “Isn’t there something you’d like to talk about with our livewire, here…?”

Eddie’s complexion warmed, a pink hue staining his cheeks as he attempted to gather himself. “Right,” he muttered, “It was… dangerous. I’m not sure I’d have ever taken that leap without you here.”

“What he means is that he’s quite taken with you.”

“Volt—”

“We both are. But I’m sure you knew that already, didn’t you?”

Volt had slid his hand over, resting it on your lower back as he tilted your head up to face him, a soft smile tugging at his lips. His gaze lingered on your lips before trailing back up to your eyes, the question hanging unspoken in the air. A question which you answered by pressing your lips into Volt’s, then, moments later, to Eddie’s.

M - Mornings - How are mornings with them?

Whereas Eddie is a nightowl, Volt is a morning bird, always rolling out bright and early to get his day started. Whether or not you’re also a morning bird is irrelevant, as the deathgrip Eddie has on you in his sleep ensures that you’re staying in bed for at least another half hour after Volt gets up, if not longer.

Once Eddie does finally decide to get up, Volt is already ready for the day, leaving you and Eddie to share the bathroom as the both of you wake up for the day ahead. Volt finds this terribly cute, especially how grouchy Eddie looks in the morning, although he can’t vocalize this lest he risk a toothbrush to the throat.

After the three of you are washed up and dressed, you have a pretty standard routine of heading downstairs together. Volt sets the table, Eddie cooks, and you help whichever of them needs it more in the moment. Is your ‘helping’ mostly just flirting? Yes. Do they still appreciate it? Definitely.

N - Nicknames - Do they use nicknames?

Volt and Eddie are both pretty fond of using nicknames for you! Of course, the standard ‘livewire’ and ‘spark’ are their favorites, but they can’t help but branch out from time to time. Aside from those two nicknames, they have fairly different tastes in what they enjoy calling you; Volt prefers terms like ‘love’, ‘dearest’, and ‘beautiful’/’handsome’, whereas Eddie prefers things like ‘mouse’ or ‘gorgeous’. They alternate a fair amount between using nicknames and your actual name, though Volt tends to lean on the nicknames a little more than Eddie.

O - Overprotective - What makes them overprotective?

Volt and Eddie trust you to handle yourself, for the most part, but they can’t help but be a little overprotective from time to time.

Eddie in particular is very protective of you whenever you two are working on repairs around the Breaker Box. After your near-slip off the ladder, he’ll hardly let you out of his sight if he knows you’re going to be working on something. He knows you promised to be more careful, but having him linger around certainly won’t hurt.

Volt, meanwhile, is more protective when it becomes apparent that someone is going to try to bother you. If you’re having an off day and need space and someone tries to bug you, Volt is stepping in immediately to create a safe barrier between you and the other person. Anything to keep you safe and comfortable.

P - PDA - Do they like PDA? What kinds?

Volt, as one might expect, is super into PDA. Holding your hand, kissing you, wrapping an arm around you, the sky’s the limit when it comes to him! Anything and everything you want, and maybe even some stuff you didn’t know you wanted. He's also bragging about you constantly, whether you're around or not. He just wants everyone to know how lucky he is to have you and Eddie by his side. Also, not quite PDA, but he does love having his jacket wrapped around you in public. It’s so delightfully giant on you and it gives a pretty clear visual to everyone around you that, hey, you’re his!

Eddie isn’t quite so into PDA. You can convince him on hand-holding or having his hand in your back pocket, but that’s about it. It’s not that he’s averse to the idea, he just doesn’t see a reason to do it. If you want to shower him in affection in public, he might tell you to rein it in a little, but will still smile to himself later when thinking about it.

Both Eddie and Volt will also do pretty gentlemanly stuff for you in public. Holding open the door for you, holding your hand when you’re going through a crowd, having you walk on the inside of the sidewalk instead of the outside, little things like that. Honestly, they don’t even think about it most of the time, it’s just kinda automatic for them.

Q - Quality Time - How do they spend quality time with their s/o?

Volt and Eddie have their fair share of favorites for ways to spend quality time with you, but most of it revolves around the time you spend together in the Breaker Box. Taking turns dancing with Volt and Eddie after-hours, making dinner with Eddie up in the apartment above the Breaker Box, preparing stage props and such with Volt, all the little things that bring you closer and remain blissfully intimate between you.

Additionally, Eddie loves it when you sit at the bar with him. Whether they’re open or closed, he enjoys the company, even if you can be a little ‘distracting’ at times. Volt, similarly, enjoys it when you come and sit with him during acts, cozying up to his side until he has to go up to announce the next act. Whatever moments you can steal with either of them, they’re happy.

R - Romance - How romantic are they?

Volt is the dictionary definition of ‘romantic’. Flowers, candies, anything you desire and it’s yours. He’s no stranger to flattery, either, and will spend copious amounts of time flirting with you if you’ll let him. You’re just so cute when you blush, he can’t help himself…! If you turn it back on him, he’s immediately turning up the charm to 11. It’s so refreshingly intoxicating to see you so confident, and, honestly, he can’t help but find it a bit sexy.

Eddie isn’t your textbook ‘romantic’, but he finds little ways to show he cares. He knows your favorite drink by heart, what time you usually come in, what you can reach and what you need help grabbing around the Breaker Box. Sure, he’s not buying you flowers, but he’s always got your back, come hell or high water. Given that he’s not much for flirting, when you flirt with him, he honestly doesn’t know what to do with himself. He’s used to Volt’s antics, but you? Whole new story. He’ll scoff, roll his eyes, tell you to cut it out, but he can’t hide the pleased look on his face, or the smile tugging at his lips.

S - Secure - How secure are they in their relationship?

Volt doesn’t believe there’s a single person on the entire planet who could make you as happy as he and Eddie do, so why would he worry? Talk to whomever you like, do whatever activities make you happy; He knows you’re coming home to him at the end of the day, so it doesn’t matter. Besides, if he was worried about people knowing you two were together, he’d just leave a little reminder on you. A bite on your neck, a coat that looks suspiciously like his, something like that.

Eddie doesn’t worry that much about you leaving him and Volt. What he worries about more is whether you prefer Volt over him. He would understand why, as, in his opinion, Volt is so much more charismatic and appealing than he is. He’s everything Eddie wishes he was, and it tears him up inside that he can’t be that for you, even if he’d never admit that out loud. If you wanted to comfort him, some compliments would certainly be appreciated, especially if they’re compliments about things unique to him.

T - Teasing - Do they tease? How do they react to teasing?

Volt and Eddie both love teasing you, but about different things. Volt’s teasing leans more romantic, little things that lead into compliments or lines about just how gorgeous he finds you, whereas Eddie’s teasing tends to lean more into poking fun at you for ‘wasting’ your time helping him around the Breaker Box and being a ‘pain in (his) ass’ (said with the utmost exasperated affection.)

Of course, they both love it when you return this teasing in some manner. Volt just loves flirting with you, and Eddie loves it when you’re a smartass (even though he pretends to be annoyed by it.) Each time you do, it’s a little more proof of just how well you fit together, like a piece of a puzzle they didn’t even realize was missing until you showed up.

U - Upset - How do they act when they're/their s/o is upset?

Neither Eddie or Volt are particularly ‘good’ at handling their feelings, as their coping methods tend to be rather unhealthy (bottling it up and self-isolating.) As well, neither of them really want to open up about whatever’s bothering them, whether it’s related to you or not.

Eddie, especially, tends to self-isolate more than anything else when he’s upset. He’ll throw himself into his work even harder than usual, trying to focus on anything else except for what’s actually bothering him. If you were the one to upset him, he may not talk to you directly for a day or so, needing time to cool off. This is primarily because he’s worried about snapping at you, as he knows he’s likely to do if he talks to you whilst he’s still so frustrated and emotionally raw. If he does end up insulting you or blowing you off, it’s almost always followed immediately by an apology and an attempt to leave/get you to leave, at least for a while.

If you were the one upset, Eddie would give you space unless you explicitly asked him to be there for you/give you company. He doesn’t really know how to comfort people, especially people as important to him as you are, so he’s sort of at a loss. Whatever you want, he’ll try to do it for you, but don’t expect any miracles. He’s pretty clueless about this whole thing, but damn if he isn’t trying his hardest to make you feel stable, if nothing else.

When Volt is upset, he tends to bottle it up and refuse to let it show in any sort of way when he’s around others. Regardless of how upset he is, he does a fairly good job of hiding it around patrons, his partners, almost anyone, really. The only way you’ll be able to tell he’s upset is when you notice the strain in his smile, or how distant his gaze seems. If you’re the one who upset him, he’ll give you a bit of a cold shoulder whilst he’s cooling off, politely yet firmly urging you to go and do something else with your time whilst he attends to ‘private matters’. Only once he’s calmed down will he seek you out to talk things out and, hopefully, patch things over.

If you were upset, Volt would offer a sympathetic ear and, if desired, an arm as well. If you need space, he can oblige (he’s done it enough times with Eddie that it’s something he’s rather accustomed to), but he will be expecting you to seek him out once you’re feeling well enough to talk. In the meantime, he’s brainstorming ways to cheer you up once you’re back on the mend and preparing little surprises to lighten your mood the next time he sees you. If nothing else, the thought is sweet. <3

V - Vulnerable - How do they show vulnerability?

Eddie has an extremely tough time opening up to anyone, even if it’s you or Volt. That said, he still has some ways of showing vulnerability to you. When you’re sitting with him and he’s feeling particularly exhausted or overwhelmed, he’ll lean into your side and rest his head on your shoulder or in the crook of your neck. The comforting warmth of your body is enough to provide him a little relief, at least enough for him to somewhat relax under all the constant stress he’s under. If you’d like to help him relax further, gently running your fingers through his hair/wires would work wonders, especially if you hum whilst doing it.

Volt, similarly, isn’t the most straight-forward when it comes to being vulnerable with anyone, even his partners. He feels as though he always has to be ‘on’, and to maintain that showmanship and candor at all times, lest he be perceived as ‘failing’. When he’s alone with you, however, he feels comfortable enough to dial it back a little. He’s still energetic, sure, but it feels less performative, more driven by actual excitement and interest when it comes to the things you do together. Speak softly to him, tell him how well he did that day, and he’ll be putty in your hands.

W - Wounded - How do they act when their s/o is injured/sick?

The moment they realize you’re sick, they’re both horribly worried. Whereas Volt is acting like a mother hen, fussing over you and asking you dozens and dozens of questions about what hurts where and what he can do about it, Eddie is actually getting the practical side of things done. Unsurprisingly, given his cooking talents, Eddie makes a delightful chicken noodle soup, which is exactly what you need to start building your strength back up! Considering the fact that he doesn’t want to be caring for two sick people, Eddie will also pull Volt out of the room after a while, much to his dismay. Until you’re better, Volt will be texting you regularly to ask if you need anything, making any and every excuse to come to your room and visit you, much as Eddie might get on his case about it.

If you were injured, though, the roles would almost flip between them. Eddie would be checking in on you frequently, honestly feeling a little guilty over you getting injured, whether or not it was actually his fault. If the injury happened whilst helping him down at the Breaker Box, he’d feel especially guilty, blaming himself for whatever happened to you. Volt, meanwhile, would be preparing things behind-the-scenes to help you around the house; Any mobility issues your injury might’ve given you are being accommodated for, any objects who you might interact with regularly (sans Dateviators) are being informed of whatever injury you have that might impede your ability to use things ‘normally’.

X - X-tra - Random fluff hc

Eddie definitely has some issues with chronic pain, so he really, really appreciates it when you go out of your way to make a more comforting environment for him. Dimmer lights, a soft place for him to rest, generally checking in on him from time to time. He doesn’t need to be babied, but he absolutely loves it when you treat him like you care about what happens to him; It makes him feel wanted in a way things rarely do.

Volt loves having his hair brushed/having you run your fingers through his hair. It’s deceptively soft, despite how dangerous it looks to touch, and he only lets you and Eddie touch it. The way you found out he likes having it brushed through was actually pretty adorable, as he had been cuddling with you when you reached up to run your fingers through it. When his eyes drifted shut and he let out a soft hum of contentment, his features relaxing fully alongside his body, you knew you’d struck gold.

Y - Yearning - Do they yearn? How so?

Both Eddie and Volt yearn pretty hard, but they do it in different ways.

Volt yearns for you whenever you aren’t there, regardless of how long you’re apart for. He can’t help but think about how much brighter and livelier the room would be if you were in it, or how badly he wishes you were there to dance with him on the livelier nights at the Breaker Box. The weight of his empty hand is a constant reminder of the fact that you aren’t there, and it dampens his spark, even if nobody except you or Eddie could tell.

Eddie yearns for you when you are there. When you’re not around, he can at least distract himself with work, but when you’re there and so tantalizingly close, he can’t help but want you more. When you’re across the room, whether alone at a table and watching the stage or dancing around the room with Volt, all he can think about is how badly he wishes he was the one over there with you. It’s so much harder to focus on tending the bar when he can just glance up and see you at any time, having you just out of reach but still present. It’s torture, but the ache burns so very sweetly.

Z - Zzz - What's it like to sleep beside them?

B - Body - What's their favorite part of their s/o's body?

This one goes without saying, but Mac's favorite part of you is your fingers/hands. It's the primary way you interface with them, after all, so how could it not be their favorite? Your hands always feel so warm against them, and it's such a comforting sensation for them. <3

That said, they do have a close second for their favorite part of your body, which would be your eyes. You spend so, so much time staring at them that they’ve borderline memorized the exact shapes, colors, and most minute motions related to your eyes. It always seemed like you were staring through them, like you were looking in their direction but never truly at them, but now that you have the Dateviators and can interface properly…? They’re not missing a single second of that sweet, sweet eye contact.

C - Cuddling - Do they cuddle? How?

Mac absolutely loves being cuddled up to you when possible (though, for obvious reasons, it's not always the most convenient.) Their preferred time to cuddle up to you is at night when you don't have anywhere else to be. They love to tangle their legs up with yours (socks still on both of you, of course, Mac hates the feeling of bare feet) and press so close that they can feel the warmth of your breath against their shoulder/chest.

D - Dates - What is their ideal date?

Generally speaking, dates with Mac are pretty chill. Usually, it’s just the two of you curled up on the couch and playing some kind of videogame and listening to a video essay of some kind in the background (unless it’s a story-intensive game, in which case Mac is fully locked-in and refuses to let anything distracting play.) One of their favorite games to play with you is Minecraft, particularly because they love goofing around and making complex redstone contraptions to impress you with. They’re not much for building, though, so you’ll either have to get really good at covering up their stuff or really good at ignoring how ugly the redstone builds are.

If you’re not playing games together on a date, you’ll probably end up watching a movie. Mac tries their absolute damndest to keep any trivia to themselves during any movie you’re watching, but it is just such a struggle sometimes, so please try not to be too upset if they lean over to explain to you how a particularly impressive shot was achieved. They’ll try not to spoil anything! Honest!

E - Equality - How do they split things like chores/bills?

Totally chill with splitting all the chores as necessary. That said, they also like to automate certain chores (paying bills, ordering groceries, etc.) when possible, not out of laziness but rather out of a desire to keep things running as smoothly as possible.

Speaking of bills, unless you say something explicitly indicating otherwise, Mac will be ready and willing to pay for basically anything you want. It’s not out of disrespect for your independence, but more so based around the fact that they just have so much money thanks to crypto, and they want to be of as much use to you as possible. If it makes your day a little easier, or a little better, then they don’t mind dropping a few hundred dollars on something! It’s not their money, anyway (So sorry cryptobros.)

F - First Kiss - Who initiates the first kiss? How does it go?

Your first kiss with Mac was… interesting, to say the least.

It had all started on what must’ve been your second or third date with Mac. You were taking things slow, getting to know one another, and generally spending a solid chunk of time just hanging out. That was when Mac had suggested a little bet between the two of you. Three rounds of Mario Kart, winner gets one favor from the loser, whatever they wanted.

Of course, you should’ve known better than to challenge a literal computer to a videogame, but you were confident! More confident than you should’ve been, truthfully speaking. You got positively smoked, losing 3-0. Before you could spend too long licking your wounds, however, you’d felt Mac’s calloused fingers touch your chin, tilting your head to face them.

“I believe I’m owed a reward, now…?” they had spoken softly, eyes hooded, before leaning in and closing the distance between the two of you. Maybe losing wasn’t so bad, after all...

G - Gifts - Do they give gifts often? What kinds?

As stated earlier, Mac has no qualms about dropping massive amounts of cash (crypto?) on you. You want to pre-order the Switch 2? They’re on it. Hungry and wanna Food Fetch some Chinese food? Already way ahead of you. Saw some stupid, niche, probably-clickbait product on Tiktok shop that you kind of want but don’t want to waste money on? It’ll be here Friday.

No need to thank Mac, they’re just doing what they can to make you happy. A kiss wouldn’t go amiss, though…!

H - Honesty - How honest are they with their s/o?

Mac has no desire to ‘rock the boat’, as it were, but they also have no desire to remain in an unfulfilling situation/relationship. As such, they’re incredibly upfront and honest whenever they have a problem with something going on, or if they have something they want to talk about. Similarly, they expect you to be fully open and honest with them. They may be intelligent, but they aren’t a mindreader, after all!

I - 'I Love You' - How do they say/express "I love you"s? How often?

Mac actually says ‘I love you’ fairly often. Whenever you’re leaving the room, when you’re leaving the house, when you’re heading upstairs for a nap, any time that you’re not going to be around eachother for a little bit, Mac says it. That’s not the only way they say it, however.

They also express their love to you via acts of service, primarily keeping your computer nice and organized, automating your email stuff, and so on and so forth. On occasion, Mac will even change your computer background to a little ‘I love you’ message to surprise you when you come downstairs to interface with them.

J - Jealousy - Do they get jealous? If so, how do they handle it?

Mac doesn’t get jealous that easily, but whenever someone is showing an elevated level of interest in you they can’t help but get a little… protective. Typically in these situations, Mac will come over and slide an arm around your waist, or even tug you into their lap depending on how bold they’re feeling. Given that you can’t actually sit in their lap for that long (due to their legs being rather sensitive), it gives you a pretty obvious tell that something’s up. Plus, it gives them a chance to see you blush, so double score on that.

Once the other person has left, Mac will communicate pretty openly with you about what was bothering them. They’re not going to hold anything back, even if they think they were being a little silly. Communication is KEY for this computer! So long as you don’t downplay their concerns, everything will work out fine. They’re not blaming you, of course, they’re just a little agitated about other people not respecting your relationship… Perhaps if Mac got the chance, they’d remotely lock the person’s car and refuse to let it unlock? Just kidding!… Unless?

K - Kissing - How do they kiss?

Mac has had all the time in the world to research kissing online, so you can bet your sweet ass that they’ve got a few tricks up their sleeve. They seem to delight in feigning a lack of skill before absolutely knocking you off your feet and leaving you breathless, their fingers tangled in your hair and their teeth tugging at your bottom lip. Spirits forbid you wear lipstick, that stuff is getting smudged all over. Then again… Mac’s kind of into it. Maybe wear lipstick more often? Lipgloss, even?

When they’re not stealing your breath away, Mac loves to give and receive little pecks as they go about their day, and they especially delight in being surprised by them. To have them absolutely melt against you, just sneak a little peck onto their neck from behind whilst they’re distracted at the computer. You’ll be able to hear their excitement when their fan kicks up…!

L - Love Confession - How did they confess/react to their s/o's confession?

Mac is fairly straight-forward, so when they realized they were into you, they figured it’d be a no-brainer on how to confess. Unfortunately for them, relationships are a liiittle more complicated than that. They’d experimented before, sure. Had a few flings here and there. This was different, though. This was special.

So, to make sure everything went smoothly, Mac decided to make a sort-of plan in advance. First, they scoured the internet whilst you were asleep, checking forums for the best ways to ask someone out, filtering out the useless ideas (flash mob? Really? What is it, 2010?) and saving away the better ones. Once they felt adequately prepared, they’d invited you to come to your office late at night.

Upon arriving, you found the room slightly re-arranged, the mood shockingly well-set considering what little the furniture could all do. Mac, reclined back in their chair, had greeted you so warmly, inviting you to come over and share a drink with them at the desk. Once the wine had been poured, Mac had grasped your hand, not wasting any more time before confessing how their diodes burned for you, and how important you had become to them. The loud whirring of their fans, an anxious tic of theirs, had nearly drowned out the sound of your acceptance, but they were oh-so glad that it didn’t.

M - Mornings - How are mornings with them?

Absolutely not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. Mac pulls all-nighters pretty regularly, so they really enjoy sleeping in a little in the mornings. Besides, why would they want to leave the cozy little cocoon they’ve created in the bed with you…?

If you climb out of bed without them, there’s a non-zero chance that they’ll just end up leaning over the side and teasing you that you ought to princess-carry them to wherever you’re headed that day. Of course, Mac could move themselves there no problem, they just like messing with you. If you actually did pick them up, they’re pretty damn certain they’d short-circuit then and there… Yeah, they’re sitting up and rescinding the offer. Just bringing them a coffee would be fine. Thanks. <3

N - Nicknames - Do they use nicknames?

Mac doesn’t really use a lot of nicknames aside from the classic ‘my love’. The way they say it is so soft and earnest that it makes your heart squeeze a little, and you can tell that they absolutely mean it.

If they’re teasing you, however, they might refer to you by one of your online account names or gamertags, whichever is more embarrassing-sounding. That account you made ten years ago? The one named KawaiiSmexyWarrior? Yeah. That’s what they’re gonna be calling you to mess with you. It’s just so fun to watch you cringe away in embarrassment! And so, so cute.

O - Overprotective - What makes them overprotective?

Mac isn’t necessarily overprotective in any aspects except cybersecurity. In their defense, however, your password is literally ‘password’. Whilst they trust you to handle yourself in basically every other aspect of your life, they absolutely become a smidge overbearing in regards to protecting your sensitive data and information online. Fortunately for you, they’re also willing to automate the process! They’ve got you set up with a top-of-the-line VPN and a script that runs every 30 days on your computer to change all your passwords. Given that it’s automated, it also means you basically never see that a lot of the passwords have little ‘I love you’s and ‘MacXHuman’s sprinkled in throughout them.

P - PDA - Do they like PDA? What kinds?

Mac does a lot of little things to show you off in public, primarily the classic arm-around-the-waist. Other than that, they don’t do much physical, apart from when jealousy necessitates them to tug you into their lap. Verbally, however, they brag about you frequently, talking about how incredible you are and how very compatible the two of you are. Honestly, it hardly even registers as bragging to them, they’re just stating facts!

Q - Quality Time - How do they spend quality time with their s/o?

Their favorite thing to do for quality time is having some good old fashioned parallel play! Hanging out in the same room and doing whatever is mwah. Chef’s kiss. They have a lot of projects they enjoy working on, and it’s just so comforting to be able to glance up and see you working across the room from them, or even right next to them! Knowing that you aren’t bored or dissatisfied with this sort of arrangement honestly gives them a little flutter in their processor (which, truthfully, is a little concerning…)

Another thing Mac loves to do with you is play videogames, particularly ones where you can compete directly. Monster Prom, Minecraft minigames, Mario Kart, Mario Party... They promise not to use any kind of aimbot or cheating, buuut no promises on using their crafty mind to get one over on you. What did you expect? They’re a computer, after all!

R - Romance - How romantic are they?

Mac considers themselves to be about average in the romance department, but they’re always looking for ways to up their game. They know you pretty intimately, mostly thanks to your search history, so they know alllll the little boxes to tick to really get you swooning. Your favorite music, your favorite drinks, your favorite foods, they’ll get it all set up for you and sweep you off your feet faster than you can blink! Granted, if you start flirting back with them, their whole ‘smooth operator’ thing might go a bit haywire. They aren’t used to the idea of you wanting them back, but boy are they starting to love that idea…

S - Secure - How secure are they in their relationship?

Mac has a handful of concerns regarding being ‘good enough’ for you, both as a computer and as a partner. Even with their updates, what if they aren’t fast enough? Or what if their model isn’t sleek enough? Do you like their interface? Do you like them?

They try to get it under control, they really do. They know they’re being illogical, but unfortunately, just knowing something is illogical doesn’t stop it from happening. They’ll do their best to soothe themselves and remind them that you chose them, but if you want to help them along this process, it might be a good idea to give them a forehead kiss and a quiet reminder that you do, in fact, love them.

T - Teasing - Do they tease? How do they react to teasing?

Teasing and Flirting are Mac’s top two love languages, aside from absolutely showering you in gifts every chance they get. They love to mess with you, whispering filthy things into your ear in public just to watch you squirm, or playfully goosing you when you’re at a party and nobody’s looking. It’s fun! They even love teasing you over super minor stuff, like silly mistakes in videogames or mistyping something in your search engine. Don’t be surprised if you type something like ‘catputer’ and end up with Mac nudging you later and going ‘meow’.

If you're the one to tease them, their reaction depends on a few factors. If it's flirty, they're pretty easily flustered, but will happily slip into flirting back with you. If it's just playful, they'll bat a teasing comment back your way. Essentially, they give what they get, so be sure you choose wisely.~

U - Upset - How do they act when they're/their s/o is upset?

Whether or not you were the one to upset Mac, they prefer to have some time to themselves to sort out their emotions before talking to anyone about it. If you were the one to upset them, they’ll come find you once they’ve cooled off and try to have a measured, civil discussion about what exactly upset them. They’ve prepared talking points, memorized exactly what they wanted to say, and prepared as much as possible to mitigate damage. They care about you too much to say something careless and worsen the whole ordeal.

If you weren’t the one to upset them, they may not come to you at all, or at least not for a little while. Mac generally prefers to work things out for themselves, if at all possible. If you ask, however, they certainly won’t try to hide it from you. Despite what they say, they’d appreciate the second opinion and comfort that comes from talking to you about their problems. Maybe a hug, too, just to really seal that emotional wound.

V - Vulnerable - How do they show vulnerability?

When Mac is feeling particularly vulnerable, as if their processors and diodes might crumble at any moment, they come to you. Regardless of what they were doing, they briefly shelve it all to come and spend time with you. Sitting beside you, breathing in your familiar scent, feeling the aching pain in their mind slowly melt away as they rest their head against the crook of your neck-- It’s pure bliss. Please treat them gently.

W - Wounded - How do they act when their s/o is injured/sick?

Given their free and uninterrupted internet access, the second you mention you might be sick, Mac is busy looking up home remedies. The best herbal teas, the best things to do for your body, when might be time to visit a doctor, they’ve got all bases covered! It’s the least they feel like they can do, given the fact that they can’t exactly come upstairs to help tend to you. Even though it’s not their fault or something they can even help, Mac feels terrible for being unable to come upstairs and be with you. To compensate for this, even though you tell them that it’s absolutely not necessary and you’re not upset, they’re busy instructing everyone else in the house on how best to take care of you and sending messages to Phoenicia to share with you very, very frequently. Little good morning, afternoon, and night stickers become commonplace, as do frequent questions about what you need at the moment. You’ll be back on the mend before you know it, they promise.

If you’re injured, on the other hand, Mac is similarly researching the best ways to rest the injury. Fortunately for you, Mac gets less tangled up in this research and is able to properly focus on ways to distract you! Whether you end up wanting a movie marathon, a gaming session, or anything else within reason, Mac is there and ready to help. And, bonus, you can totally stay downstairs for this one, so Mac is there and able to be as close as you’d like!

X - X-tra - Random fluff hc

You know how a lot of computers have a little AI assistant chatbot thing in the start menu? Well, Mac can interface with you through that, Dateviators or no. They love using it to show you little funny videos they found, recipes they thought you might be interested in trying, and information relevant to stuff you might be researching or working on. It’s especially helpful when you’re out someplace you can’t reasonably wear/use the Dateviators, keeping you nice and in contact with your beloved.

It also gives them a chance to playfully chat with you in public, especially if you can both hear a nearby phone conversation. Total 'and they were roommates' vibes. Careful Scandalabra doesn't catch a glimpse of your chatlogs!

Y - Yearning - Do they yearn? How so?

The entire time before you got the Dateviators, Mac was yearning hard. Daydreaming about you constantly, imagining what they’d say if they ever got the chance. Now that they can talk to you directly, they’re more than happy to act on all their yearning! Even now, whenever they’re not around you their mind can’t help but drift back to thoughts of you. Whoever they’re talking to, whatever they’re doing, it all goes back to you.

Z - Zzz - What's it like to sleep beside them?

Mac sleeps like a rock, so nothing short of the apocalypse is going to wake them up once they’re out. Fortunately, they’re also perfectly warm and cuddleable in their sleep, meaning you’re free to tangle up with them to your heart’s content. Oddly, they also don’t actually move very much in their sleep, nor do they make any sounds except a soft humming not unlike that of a computer fan. On rare occasions, you might hear them sleeptalking, but it’s usually just repeating back things you searched earlier in the day; A habit which you can’t entirely decide whether it’s adorable or strange…

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Mac:

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- Given the fact that the two of you can freely interface now, Mac is incredibly excited to properly express their needs to you! Particularly when it comes to upgrading certain parts of them… Not that they’d pressure you, of course! Just suggest it… a lot. Can you really even blame them? They just want to be their best for you! Don’t worry, though, they’ve actually already made a list of the cheapest places to get the most cost-efficient parts for them! Orrr, if you’re feeling a little riskier, they’re more than happy to nab some cryptobro’s wallet and purchase some seriously high-end stuff. Whichever you prefer.

- Speaking of which, Mac has a bizarrely high amount of cryptocurrency. You’ve never noticed your computer running anything cryptomining stuff in the background, and you’re fairly sure Mac couldn’t even run something like that without turning your computer into a glowing, functionless brick. Regardless of how they get that crypto, the end result is the same; They love to absolutely spoil you with gifts bought with it! They save away anything you look at but hesitate on buying, keeping it in their back pocket until you’re out of the room and then springing into action to buy it before you get back. And here you thought you’d just been unusually lucky getting packages sent to you instead of their ‘rightful’ owners…

- Loves to fluster you more than anything. Though they don’t really use petnames, they’re not above greeting you with a ‘Hey, sexy’ just to make you blush. They also aren’t afraid to goose you from time to time, though they’ll always act entirely innocent and pretend like they have no idea what you’re talking about. You must’ve imagined it. ;)

- You can’t exactly sit in Mac’s lap due to the strain it’d put on their legs, but they’re very interested in the idea of sitting in your lap, instead. Being so close to you, interfacing in such an intimate fashion, it gets their processor running hotter than it probably should!

- Mac absolutely loves parallel play. You don’t have to talk or anything, just playing games or doing little tasks on your computer/phone in the same room as them is enough to make them happier than they thought they could be. That said, they certainly won’t say no if you want to occasionally reach over and squeeze their hand/thigh from time to time as a silent ‘hey, I’m here.’ Little acts of physical touch like that are some of their favorite moments between you two. <3

- Mac has a deeply ingrained desire to be ‘enough’ for you, so they will often overdo things in an effort to impress you. Usually, they’re good about reining themselves in before any sort of damage to their hardware happens, but on occasion you have to be the one to reel them back. Fortunately for you, Mac is absolutely enamored with you, so all you really have to do is wrap your arms around them and press a kiss to their cheek/forehead, and they’ll be putty in your hands.

- Whenever you’re having a down day, Mac always tries to find ways to cheer you up. One key way that they do this is by photoshopping random, goofy stuff together to make you laugh. Like, absolute garbage-tier, 2020-esque shitposting, delivered with the most sincere and stone-faced “Come take a look at this.” that you can imagine. To their credit, it usually does make you laugh.

- They’re not really the type to get jealous, per se, but Mac definitely feels a certain way when you use AI to answer something instead of asking them. Like, they’re right there, do you seriously need to use WhatGPT? Speaking of, Mac isn’t necessarily anti-AI (how could they be?), but boy do they get irritated with the half a dozen AI pop-ups every web service seems to have now. No, you don’t need Scorpio, or Croc, or whatever other re-skin every website seems to be doing. Just ask them, instead! Mac is right there and wants to prove themselves so badly to you. If nothing else, ask them first to save them the bruised ego. Worst case scenario, you both google some stuff and learn together. Best case scenario, your cute nerd partner gets to infodump about something they’re passionate about. Win-win.

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Dirk Deveraux

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- Dirk doesn’t exactly have the most healthy, well-balanced history with relationships, so you’re gonna have to cut him some slack as he adjusts to being in a relationship that doesn’t make him want to toss himself out a window. The adjustment period is going to be a little rough, and he’ll probably fall in and out of moods pretty frequently, given how paranoid he is about things falling apart like they did with Harper. He definitely struggles with feeling like ‘enough’ or like you’re actually happy with him, and he struggles to accept compliments, usually brushing them off or replying with something smug and inauthentic to cover up for the fact that he doesn’t believe you. The only thing that really seems to get through to him, at first, is you being willing to listen to and remember what he has to say, and to really take his feelings into account for things concerning him. You don’t have to treat him like glass (he’d actually prefer you didn’t), just communicate with him openly, honestly, and as straight-forward as you can. He isn’t perfect, and he’d consider himself pretty damaged, but he’s willing to try to become better for you and for himself.

- After sorting out the whole Harper situation, Dirk is incredibly grateful toward you, and makes sure to express this often. Particularly when you’re cuddled up in bed, or in a pile of laundry in the closet. He just loves to lay his whole body weight across you like a weighted blanket and murmur into your ear about how good this is, how good you are together, and how relieved he is to be away from Harper. Despite this clingy behavior, his weight is pretty comforting on top of you… maybe you’ll stay for a little while longer. And speaking of…

- Absolutely a cuddlebug. No matter how long you’ve been together, he could never get sick of the feeling of having you so close. Your warm breath puffing over his skin, the soft rise and fall of your chest, having this constant reminder that you’re there and his and oh so wonderfully cozy in his arms. He’ll keep his arms, legs, any part of him that he can wrapped around you, holding you against him like he’s afraid you’ll disappear into a puff of smoke the minute he glances away. He’ll cuddle you in your room, on the couch downstairs, hell, he might even consider cuddling you on the bare floor if that’s what you wanted.

- Dirk doesn’t really mean to, but he can’t help but vent to you pretty frequently. Whether it’s a minor concern or something that’s been eating at him for a long time, he’s just desperate to get the words out and have someone listen and care. If you really want to comfort him during these times, he’s incredibly partial to you bringing his head into your lap and running your fingers through his hair. That, along with a few strategically-timed forehead kisses, is enough to turn him to putty in your hands.

- Given that he is your clothes, Dirk is pretty damn good at helping you find clothes you’ve lost. Whilst he doesn’t have a photographic memory or anything, he can sort of just feel where things are… excluding socks that disappear in the dryer. Not even Drysdale or Dirk know where those go. That said, he’s good at finding everything else, especially old, embarrassing items you’d rather forget you had or which you’d thrifted on a whim. What do you mean you don’t want your ‘Rawr means I love u in dinosaur’ shirt? It looked so… ‘good’ on you. C’mon, just wear it one more time. For him?

- Dirk isn’t as invested in the Bat-man dakimakura as Clarence is, but he is incredibly invested in the Bat-man comics. When he has some free time, he’ll usually just be sitting around your room and reading them, one leg kicked up and body leaned back as he does. The pose honestly looks pretty uncomfortable, but you never hear him complaining... And, yes, whilst he loves reading the comics on his own, he especially loves when you read them with him. Whether you’re actively reading alongside him or just letting him read the issues out to you, so long as you’re tucked up beside him or under his chin he’s very, very happy.

- Stretches a lot, partially because he always feels like he has a kink in his back and partially because he revels in the attention you subtly direct his way when he does. Spirits help you if he catches you ogling whatever skin he exposes when he stretches, because this man will not stop teasing you about it. Hell, he might even encourage you to show a little skin in return. It’s only fair, right?

- Not nearly as fashion-focused as Clarence, but he likes watching you try on various outfits in your room. He’ll lounge on the bed, watching you flip between this outfit and that, calling out (usually crude) comments as you do. He can’t help the smile that spreads across his lips when you start blushing at what he says. He’s just trying to help, honest. <3

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Clarence Couture

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- Clarence absolutely LOVES fashion-related stuff, and will frequently ask you to model outfits for him. He doesn’t really sew (he’s a little too clumsy for that, keeps poking his fingers with the needle, and it’s not like you have a sewing machine around), but he loves to style outfits for you. If you let him, he’ll lay out a whole showcase of outfits for you to try on and model for him and his panel of ‘discerning’ judges (Bats, Amir, and Betty.)

- He doesn’t have as much baggage connected to Harper, as he wasn’t really involved in that whole relationship, anyhow. As such, he has no problems expressing himself to you candidly and frequently. You’ll never have to worry about Clarence harboring some secret frustration with you, he’ll tell you outright if you’ve done something to piss him off. Don’t worry, though, he won’t hold it against you! So long as you make it up to him with some cuddling or indulging him in helping him style another outfit, at least...

- He’s incredibly particular about his hair, spending practically hours in front of the mirror trying to get it just right. As a result, he won’t really let you touch his hair all that much. Sure, it feels really nice and makes him want to curl up in your lap like a kitty cat, but he can’t just let you muss it up midday! At night, however… well, he may be a little more flexible, then. Once he’s done parading around your bedroom, he’ll be content to cuddle up under the covers with you and let you run your fingers through his hair as much as you want-- which you absolutely should! It’s very soft, like satin under your fingertips.

- Clarence hates being dirty for fairly obvious reasons, so if you need help with anything physical he’s not really a good go-to for that. However, he is more than happy to stand on the sidelines with Bats and cheer you on. He won’t hesitate to brag about you when this happens, either, whether it’s in the moment or later on when he’s talking to someone else. Did they see you? Did they see how strong you are? Ha! They should all be incredibly jealous that he was the one who got to be with you (and Bats.) Truly, you’re precisely what he deserves.

- No struggling with self-confidence, Clarence is pretty over-confident if anything. Fortunately for you, he’s more than happy to shower some of that confidence onto you as well. Though he’s not like Amir where he’ll praise you endlessly about anything and everything, whether or not it’s actually ‘true’, Clarence will praise you about the things you don’t seem to notice. Your looks, of course, your wit and charm most certainly, but he also praises you for finishing little, seemingly insignificant tasks around the house that keep things running smoothly, for going out of your comfort zone when purchasing a new outfit, for complimenting him or accepting one of his compliments gracefully. He just adores every little bit of you and won’t hesitate to make that known every chance he gets.

- However, praise isn’t Clarence’s only way of showing affection. He’s not much for physical touch, except late at night or when you’re cuddling, but he is pretty partial to teasing as a love language. He’s fairly sassy and enjoys when you play along with his somewhat melodramatic behavior as well.

- Bats is one of the handful of objects in the house that isn’t actually sentient, despite what Clarence claims. It’s just a dakimakura (or a body pillow, if you’re a fucking peasant.) That said, he treats it with all the respect and attention he’d give an actual, sentient partner, and he’d appreciate if you did the same (at least when he’s in the room.) He tends to drag it around with him when he’s in your bedroom/closet, though not too much further out of there, excluding special occasions/circumstances, as he hates the idea of it getting dirty. It’s essentially his safety blanket, for better or for worse, and he’s happy to share it with you so long as you promise not to get it dirty. Cuddling on top of it late at night is something of a tradition for the two of you, as the pillow is surprisingly comfy once you get past the almost-naked drawing of a superhero on it!

- The absolute best person to go to in the house when you need a no-bullshit opinion on your outfit. Clarence will not only tell you whether or not it’s ugly, but either suggest a full-on alternative or some cute accessories to really spice up the look. He wants to make sure you (and technically, him) look the absolute best that you can, regardless of whether you’re staying in for the day or heading out someplace that people might actually see you. Given how he’s with you for the whole day, being your clothes and all, he hears and absorbs alllll the compliments you get on your outfit. The second you’re back in through the door to the house, he’s preening and bragging every chance he gets about all the compliments the two of you got that day. Honestly, what can he say? They’re right! He looks perfect with you.

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Eddie & Volt

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- Volt absolutely loves slow-dancing with you at the Breaker Box whilst Eddie tends to the bar. Having the chance to keep his arms wrapped tightly around you, pulling you in against his chest as he murmurs sweet nothings into your ear, it’s enough to make his heart sing. It combines two of his favorite things: spending time with/around both of you and having the chance to tease either of you as his mood sees fit. He’s particularly fond of dipping you and shooting Eddie an “I bet you wish you were the one doing this” sort of look that Eddie always rolls his eyes at. Despite Eddie’s feigned disinterest, Volt can still spot the faint smile tugging at his lips each time he teases him from across the room.

- Though less common, Eddie does also dance with you at the Breaker Box, sometimes! He never lingers as long as Volt, usually only for a single song due to his chronic pain, but it’s no less impassioned. Eddie loves to hold you close and sway along to the music and, unlike Volt, he keeps his attention focused on you and you alone for the entirety of the song.

- The Breaker Box hosts a weekly game night (typically poker, but sometimes Parker is able to convince everyone else to try something new), which you only found out about after Volt invited you to join him one week. Unbeknownst to you, he had intentionally made certain that they were a singular chair short, urging you instead to sit in his lap; Thus began the tradition of you sitting in Volt or Eddie’s lap (depending on who was in attendance) every game night.

- One night, on the rare occasion that both Eddie and Volt were in attendance at the same time, they decided to make things a little more… interesting. It had started with you sitting in Volt’s lap when, jokingly, he suggested bargaining you as well as the chips he had on the table already. Much to his surprise and amusement, Eddie called his bluff, resulting in you being passed between the two men a few times throughout the night. This all came to a stop, however, when Parker won one of the hands, resulting in you sitting in his lap for one round before Eddie promptly won you back and then folded, preventing you from being passed around again. Though he vehemently insists he absolutely wasn’t jealous, the look on his face told you an entirely different story...

- Volt is incredibly observant, especially when it comes to you and Eddie. He can always tell when something’s up with one of you, whether by your body language or by the way you phrase your words. He uses this to his advantage fairly often, especially when he can tell you’re upset. It gives him the perfect chance to do something to calm your nerves, like run a bath for you or attempt to prepare a nice meal, before approaching you to ask what’s wrong. He’s trying his best, at least.

- Eddie is the cook between the three of you, for the most part. His dishes aren’t the most inspired or visually-appealing, but they’re delicious and filling, so who can really complain? He’s attempted many, many times to teach Volt to cook, but Volt just seems to be cursed, somehow. His baked goods always come out burnt, his cooked vegetables wither away into nothing, hell, Eddie’s fairly sure he saw a pie that Volt made wriggle. If you want to cook with Eddie, he’ll accommodate, but for the love of all that’s good in this world, don’t bring Volt with you.

- It goes without saying that Volt and Eddie are pretty co-dependent, but spirits help them if they’re not doing their damndest to not drag you into that problem. Volt and Eddie will, individually, check in on you every so often to make sure that you’re not feeling overwhelmed or that they’re not asking too much of you. Perhaps because of this, they both tend to spoil you, also. Volt in more obvious ways, such as showering you in praise, affection, and sometimes gifts, and Eddie in a more subtle manner, such as offering you a drink whenever you drop by the Breaker Box or offering you his help in any menial tasks you’re performing.

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Mateo:

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- If Mateo is too busy to come find you directly, he will sometimes ask one of the inanimals to carry a little note (sometimes love notes, sometimes just updating you on what he’s doing) with them and bring it to you. Depending on the inanimal, it will either be carried in its mouth, wrapped with a bow around its midsection, or, on occasion, carried in a little basket in the inanimal’s mouth. What can he say, sometimes they like to show off!

- Mateo insists he never cries at movies, but if you sit down with him to watch any movie where an animal dies, he will get so sad. He got so emotionally invested in the movie Charlie’s Web and was borderline inconsolable when Charlie died, just tucking his head in against your shoulder and holding you especially tightly. You could’ve sworn you felt some wetness on your shoulder where his eyes were, but he insisted it was nothing.

- Conversely, Mateo loves movies with animals doing happy things! Mozart, Air Pal, even animated stuff like Caponata. He also loves lighthearted comedies, romcoms, and musicals. That said, he’s not averse to watching something dramatic from time to time, he just prefers them to be way over-the-top, like a telenovela! Speaking of which, he absolutely loves getting way too into the absolute cheesiest, most stereotypical telenovelas and talking to you at length about his opinions on them. Bonus points if you get equally into it and have your own opinions on it!

- He is SO warm. Regardless of the temperature inside or outside, regardless of how much clothing he is or isn’t wearing, regardless of whether he just took a coddamn ice bath, he’s warm. This is great during winter because you can cuddle up nice and close, feeling his warm puffs of breath as you drift off to sleep… On the other hand, it’s borderline torture during summer. Mateo will try his damndest to respect your space during the warmer months, but he just can’t help the fact that he cuddles up to you in his sleep. It’s reflex! Nine times out of ten, you’re probably going to wake up tangled up with Mateo and sweaty as all get-out. Maybe invest in another fan… or have Hector crank the AC.

- Given Mateo’s closeness with the inanimals, they sometimes sneak into your room whilst you’re asleep. Usually, Dorian does a pretty good job of keeping them out, but some of those little buggers are just so small and slippery…! Don’t be surprised if you wake up with a cable snake curled up on your bed, or a wirecat flopped on your chest.

- If you fall asleep on the couch, though, it’s open season for the inanimals. Especially if Mateo’s there, too. You’ll be buried under a tsunami of cuddly critters before you can even jostle yourself awake. That said, Mateo does find it pretty heartwarming that they all took to you so quickly. He thinks it just speaks to what a warm, kindhearted person you are. <3

- The perfect person to go to for comfort, physical and emotional. He’s more than willing to cuddle you and wrap you up in his blankets whilst you tell him about your day-- or sit in silence, if that’s what you prefer. He doesn’t mind either way, so long as you feel safe and comforted.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨ ᰔ ୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Bodhi:

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨ ᰔ ୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

- Polaroids were extremely popular in the 80’s so, go figure, Bodhi absolutely loves them. Given his newfound anxiety over losing touch with the past, he especially loves to snap photos of the two of you doing whatever. He’s sort of impatient and constantly moving, though, so the photos don’t always turn out the best.

- As an add-on to that last blurb, it should be noted that he actually keeps a photo album of all your photos together! He loves to pen in little notes with sharpie/markers, draw hearts around pictures of you, and put stickers in the albums to make them look even more ‘tubular.’

- It’s a given, but Bodhi LOVES sharing 80s stuff with you, especially movies. Young Adult Wolf, Tricky Business, The Spoonies, all that good stuff! And speaking of…

- Bodhi is BIG into movie marathons. He’s especially curious about all the sequels and remakes related to stuff from the 80’s! Even if they’re usually pretty terrible, he’s always willing to give them a shot-- plus, it gives him an opportunity to cuddle with his bodacious babe, so who is he to complain?

- It should also be noted that Bodhi is a gigantic scaredy cat. He’ll deny it if asked, but he is absolutely terrified of any kind of horror movies, even the super cheesy ones! You ended up finding this out first-hand when Bodhi sat you down to watch Scalien, insisting it was a ‘total classic’, and he ended up diving to hide behind you about twenty minutes into the movie.

- Even with how much of a scaredy cat Bodhi is, if there’s ever any actual danger, his first priority is to protect you!

- On your first Halloween together, you wanted to take Bodhi to a haunted house. Initially, Bodhi seemed totally stoked for the idea (at least once you clarified that the house wasn’t actually haunted), and he walked into the place with a firm grip on your hand and a cheeky promise to protect you from any monsters waiting inside. At the first jumpscare, a ball with a sheet thrown over it and being dangled by a string to imitate a ghost, Bodhi screamed and picked you up, sprinting back out through the entrance Scooby Doo-style. You still haven’t quite let him live that one down…

- Also!!! He LOVES serenading you! This one is fairly obvious, considering the canonical song he writes for the MC, but I feel like he’d write new songs for you pretty regularly. Mostly 80’s power ballads, yeah, but some softer, sweeter tunes, too. He can definitely play the guitar, and he uses that to his advantage whenever possible! Anyway, here’s Wonderwall-

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨ ᰔ ୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

Daemon:

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨ ᰔ ୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

- Daemon produces a soft white-noise humming at all times, which is rather comforting so long as you don’t spend too long trying to focus on where it’s coming from (last time you did, you got a nosebleed, and Daemon felt a little guilty about the whole thing.)

- Given the nature of its existence, Daemon’s body is constantly changing, whether more subtly or into something entirely unrecognizable. Regardless of how unpleasant their texture becomes, or how frustrating it is to try to interact with her, he’ll always make sure that their body can’t/won’t hurt you. The last thing it wants is to scare you away completely.

- She is fairly stiff when it comes to hugs or cuddling, but is happy to follow your instructions! Despite the unstable nature of his body, Daemon is able to control how it changes, somewhat, at least enough to ensure you won’t get jabbed by something in the middle of the night. As such, cuddling next to Daemon can be surprisingly… comforting. That said, you do have the absolute weirdest dreams whenever you fall asleep next to them, and he always has this knowing look on her face when you wake up...

- Daemon absolutely loves physical touch, even if they won’t (or rather, can’t) say it directly. They love both giving and receiving it, and, if you’re willing, would spend hours tracing its hands over your body, feeling the smooth, steady, and entirely real sensation of you underneath her fingertips. It’s almost intoxicating for someone (something?) like him.

- He loves annoying you in stupid, small ways, whether it’s catching you in a dialogue loop or pulling you into a place where you shouldn’t be, only to return you back to normal a few moments later. It can be disorienting, certainly, but they’re not doing it out of abject malice, more so boredom. It’s something of a love language for her.

- Let them bite you. It finds it so fun to nibble at your skin, particularly your neck or wrist. The sensation feels like being touched by an old, warm TV.

- Daemon enjoys dancing, but their version of dancing is incredibly jarring, essentially teleporting you around a small radius and making sharp, strange movements as he holds on to you. She gets the oddest sense of satisfaction when you look so adorably confused and disoriented.

- He struggles to express certain things, particularly emotions. She is, however, great at parroting things back to you. Daemon’s favorite things to parrot back at you are teasing remarks, sarcastic comments, and, especially, declarations of affection. If you say ‘I love you’, it will repeat that back over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and

B - Body - What's their favorite part of their s/o's body?

It might be easier to list the parts of your body that Amir doesn't like! … None come to mind.

If he absolutely must pick a favorite, however, he would choose your eyes. The soft gradient around your pupils, the distinctive shade of your irises, the absolute warmth with which you look at him? It's all just so, so perfect to him. In all honesty, he could probably spend hours staring into your eyes and not getting bored.

C - Cuddling - Do they cuddle? How?

Amir absolutely loves cuddling, particularly positions where he can still see your face and gaze into your eyes. There’s something so intimate about it that he just adores. Though you two don’t cuddle much aside from when you’re in bed together, it just makes him treasure those moments all the more.

D - Dates - What is their ideal date?

Whether it’s your first date or your 50th, Amir never fails to make it feel like a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

For your first date, he spent a solid amount of time researching-- asking Mitchell where the two of you ought to eat, requesting Beverly’s advice in what drinks would be most suited to such an occasion, and ensuring Scandalabra stayed far, far away from your intimate gathering despite the presence of mood-setting candles. He even took the time to ensure music was playing to better set the mood for you both!

For subsequent dates, he finds various romantic and (relatively) refined activities for the two of you to do around the house, as well as a few cozy nooks to simply be together. One of his favorite ‘date’ activities to do together is to go through your closet together and try on various outfits, finding what does and doesn’t suit you, and then shopping online for more clothes that he believes might suit you as well. Were he Realized, he’d love to simply go with you to a mall or something to try on clothes that way, but alas!

It’s also worth noting that Amir is the sort of man who believes in having at least one date night per week, as well as a few surprise dates sprinkled in every-so-often to keep things fresh.

E - Equality - How do they split things like chores/bills?

Amir would do anything for you… within reason. As much as he’d like to recreate certain classic romantic cliches with you, such as the classic ‘laying a coat out to cross a puddle’, he’s a little too protective over his clothes and appearance for that. That said, he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get you across that hypothetical puddle one way or another-- even if he has to carry you. After all, it’s awfully romantic to have your partner carry you away from danger, is it not? Even if that ‘danger’ is just a muddy puddle…

As for chores, Amir is happy to do these 50/50 split. He is rather particular about the cleanliness of his space, and so he’s happy to take over the bulk of cleaning-related chores if you’re willing to do some of the more unsavory ones (lawn mowing, taking out the trash, etc..) All other chores can be assigned at random for all he cares, he just wants to make sure he can arrange things as he prefers.

F - First Kiss - Who initiates the first kiss? How does it go?

Your first kiss with Amir was nothing short of magical. It was obvious from the start what he was building up to, and yet you couldn’t help but let yourself get lead along anyway.

A cozy, intimate setting (your dining room), half a dozen candles that were all varying shades of red, soft, romantic music crooning out of the record player. The stage was set for something monumental, and Amir was determined to deliver.

Just as the music seemed to swell, Amir reached up and cupped your face with one hand, using the other to pull you closer by the waist. Your breath hitched, and the warmth of Amir’s own breath sent warm tingles spreading throughout your body. Your eyes closed just in time as Amir pressed a firm, almost chilly kiss against your lips. His lips had moved ever-so-slightly, as if he had practiced the most minute movements of this encounter, and his thumb traced over your cheek tenderly. It was… perfect.

G - Gifts - Do they give gifts often? What kinds?

Amir would give you the moon and stars out of the sky if he could, but, alas, he’s just a mirror. Even so, he manages to find new, inventive ways of acquiring gifts for his beloved azizam, even going out of his way to bother Mac into ordering things off the internet for him. Luxury perfumes/colognes, delicacies from overseas, absolutely nothing is too good for you, even if it means Mac has to do some serious money laundering to keep any of it from being traced back to you. It’s a privilege to make you so happy anyhow, in Amir’s opinion, so he can’t imagine Mac minds all that much.

H - Honesty - How honest are they with their s/o?

Amir is as honest as they come, almost to a fault at times. Whilst he would never intentionally say something to hurt your feelings, there are times that he oversteps and says things that you’d have rather he never said at all. He expects you to be entirely honest with him, even in these cases, and even if all you’re telling him is that he hurt your feelings. The sooner he knows, the sooner he can make things right between you. Amir values communication above all else, which is why he’s always speaking his mind.

I - 'I Love You' - How do they say/express "I love you"s? How often?

Amir expresses his love sincerely, passionately, and frequently. It’s the first thing he says to you in the morning and the last thing you hear before drifting off to sleep at night. He says it with words, yes, but also with gifts, with favors, and with the way he showers you in praise each and every day.

J - Jealousy - Do they get jealous? If so, how do they handle it?

If you asked Amir, he would never admit to being jealous, but the signs are definitely there. 

Whenever another one of the objects in the house are flirting with you, he always seems to materialize behind you, wrapping an arm around your waist before readily agreeing with whoever you were talking to. Yes, his azizam is absolutely stunning, thank you for noticing! In fact, he's just so overwhelmed by your beauty that he can't help but place one or two… dozen… kisses on your temples and cheeks. If the other person doesn't get the message after that, they definitely do once Amir's hands begin to wander. The cute blush on your face is just too rewarding for him to stop now, anyway.

K - Kissing - How do they kiss?

Amir kisses you as though it’s going to be your last kiss together every single time. There’s always a soft, soulful desperation to his kisses without ever crossing the bounds into ‘messy’ territory.

A little quirk of his is that he will rarely ever let something interrupt a kiss. Your food could be burning on the stovetop and Amir would simply continue cradling the nape of your neck, pressing a firm, loving kiss to your lips as the smoke alarm blared. The only time he relents more easily is when you push him away forcefully.

L - Love Confession - How did they confess/react to their s/o's confession?

Amir is, of course, all for spontaneous flowery, romantic gestures, but certain things need a little more planning than that. The timing for something like this had to be perfect. As such, he had devised a simple three step plan.

Step one, ask you to spend one of your days off with him under the guise of ‘hanging out.’

Step two, set the mood with candles, good food, and some nice wine.

Step three…

Gods above, he hadn’t planned for this. Of course, you always took his breath away, but the way you had turned and looked at him with such innocent curiosity when he said he had something to ask you. It was enough to make him weak in the knees, and his breath caught in his throat.

No. He could do this.

Reaching out, he cradled your hands in his, speaking earnestly and from the heart, telling you the truth of his emotions. Regardless of your response, the truth would remain, he loved you more than anything. Fortunately for him, you felt the same.

M - Mornings - How are mornings with them?

Mornings with Amir are decidedly slow, yet regular. He wakes up at the same time each day, wakes you up with tender kisses and soft praise, and then gently drags you into the shower with him. Once the two of you are properly cleaned, groomed, and dressed, he’ll bring you down for food, even feeding you bites from his fork. Each motion seems to be driven by the utmost care and affection for you, and you can’t help but feel your heart soar whenever he stares at you with those deep, soulful eyes.

N - Nicknames - Do they use nicknames?

Amir is very fond of nicknames, especially ones that let him express his deep, unyielding affection for you. ‘Azizam’, ‘Nafasam’, and ‘Jigaram’ are some of his favorites, though he is also partial to ‘my favorite reflection.’ He uses them as often as he can, almost never using your actual name unless you explicitly ask.

O - Overprotective - What makes them overprotective?

If anyone were to talk down about you or your appearance, Amir would be on them faster than you could blink. He is always certain to give these ungrateful cretins a thorough dressing down, reminding them of the many, many ways your beauty greatly outshines their own dull appearances. No one is safe from this, not even you! Although, of course, in the cases where you’re the one talking down about yourself, his methods of confronting you are… a smidge different.

If you’re in public, he’ll simply pull you aside to tell you all the many, many things he admires about you, top to toe, without missing anything. If you’re in private, he’ll do much the same… only with the added benefit of kissing each and every spot he talks about. What better way to make sure the lesson is learned properly?

P - PDA - Do they like PDA? What kinds?

Amir absolutely adores PDA, though he is also sure to be at least somewhat classy about it. Kisses snuck on the shell of your ear, pecks littered across your knuckles as you’re holding hands in public, an arm around your waist… Anything he can do to subtly, yet clearly, claim you as his makes him very, very happy.

Of course, he’s also keen on more public, showy proclamations of his love for you. If the opportunity arises, he’s more than happy to bring you up at every turn, showing you off, or showing off photos of you if you’re not there. He’s just so pleased to have found someone as precious as his lovely azizam.

Q - Quality Time - How do they spend quality time with their s/o?

Amir enjoys taking time for himself, so when you come into the picture, he simply makes room for you in the activities he was already enjoying. Relaxing, enjoying a nice cup of tea, listening to music-- but with canoodling!

His favorite activity to do with you is when you let him lie his head in your lap and you brush your fingers through his hair. Run your fingers through his hair, circle the pads of your thumbs over his cheek bones, pepper little kisses on his face…

Another activity he really enjoys is doing eachother’s makeup! Whilst Amir doesn’t use much makeup beyond some simple contouring and occasional lipgloss, he is more than happy to allow you to attempt to apply it from time to time. Be warned, though, he is very picky about how it looks!

R - Romance - How romantic are they?

Amir is, with very little exception, probably the most romantic person you know. He’s always on top of planning dates, giving you expensive, lavish gifts, praising you every chance he gets; If treating you like royalty was an Olympic sport, he’d be a gold medalist. What’s even better about it is that you know it comes from a place of utmost sincerity, as he’s not the sort to ever bother lying or saying something he doesn’t mean. Each heartfelt declaration is meant from the bottom of his soul, no matter how absurd or theatrical it may sound.

S - Secure - How secure are they in their relationship?

Amir is completely secure in your relationship, as he can’t see any reason why you’d ever look for someone other than him. He’s beautiful, you’re beautiful, what else could you possibly want? Not to mention the bevy of romantic outings he takes you on, his constant proclamations of love for you, and, let’s face it, nobody else in the entire house could possibly hope to compare to his charm.

On the other hand, if you’re the one feeling insecure he is SO quick to shut that shit down. He’ll spend hours reassuring you of his affections, listing out all the things he adores about you-- very long-winded, but very appreciated, nonetheless.

T - Teasing - Do they tease? How do they react to teasing?

Amir doesn’t really seem to ‘get’ teasing. Why would you say something you don’t mean? Are you trying to confuse him?

As a result, he won’t really grasp when you’re teasing him and will, generally, take your statement at face value. That’s not to say he’s naive or gullible, he isn’t, but he also just won’t understand that you’re trying to mess with him and aren’t just saying something entirely absurd with zero prompting.

U - Upset - How do they act when they're/their s/o is upset?

Amir’s reaction depends on whether or not you were the one to upset him. If you were, he prefers to have some time alone so that he can collect his thoughts, as well as to ensure that he won’t accidentally say something he doesn’t mean. Even in the deepest depths of his frustration or upset, he still values your relationship enough to ensure that he doesn’t jeopardize it with a careless comment made in anger. Instead, he’d rather calm down and take some time to think about what he’s going to say; Only then will he return to you, and depending on who’s fault it was he will either politely yet firmly request an apology or absolutely lavish you with praise and gifts as he begs for your forgiveness.

If you weren’t the one who upset Amir, then there’s a fifty-fifty chance that he’ll either come directly to you to vent about it or stomp around about it alone and refuse to acknowledge anything is wrong until you ask. Either way, he needs a hug and to be talked down from his anger. A little validation of his feelings wouldn’t hurt, either.

V - Vulnerable - How do they show vulnerability?

Amir is at his most vulnerable when he’s by your side. Whenever he feels things begin to weigh on him in a way that he can’t control or brush off, he comes to you and envelops you in his embrace. The grounding scent of your hair pulls him back to reality, and the warmth of your form radiates a sense of safety that he can’t find anywhere else in the world. He’s never been one to shy away from showing emotion, and though sometimes he needs space, he’s mature enough to realize whenever he needs comfort, instead. His heart is, and has always been, yours. Please take good care of it.

W - Wounded - How do they act when their s/o is injured/sick?

Amir isn’t the best comfort when you’re sick, as he is absolutely petrified by the idea of becoming sick, himself. After seeing what its done to you so many times, he’s taking as many precautions as he possibly can, up to and past the point of absurdity. Sure, he’ll still bring you water and tea if you so desire it, but he’s doing it in long rubber gloves, a face mask, eye protection, and a hair net. What does he even think the hair net is doing…?

If you’re injured, on the other hand, Amir will be waiting on you hand and foot. Anything and everything you need, you’ll have it in an instant. Hungry? He’s brought you food! Thirsty? Have some tea and a bottle of water just to be safe. Sore? Amir’s hands are absolute magic working on your body, kneading away tension and stress under his skilled touch within mere moments. Nothing is too much for his joonam. The only downside is that he will be rather overprotective once you’re better, and may not stop pampering you for quite some time, though whether that’s a bad thing or not is up to you.

X - X-tra - Random fluff hc

Amir has, on more than one occasion, considered getting a professional portrait of the two of you done. What better way to immortalize your beauty and connection than with something physical and permanent? Not only would it be a lovely reminder, but you could also hang it somewhere very public and obvious! Not for any special reason… it’s just something he thinks the other furniture might enjoy seeing, really. ;)

Y - Yearning - Do they yearn? How so?

Amir yearns, and he yearns HARD. Whenever you’re out of eyesight, he’s usually thinking about you. You’re just so stunning, how could he not? You’re his favorite reflection, his joonam, his reason for being! Something he’s rather fond of during these yearning sessions is daydreaming about you, whether in an innocent fashion or something slightly more risque. He just loves imagining the look on your face when he presents you with some grand, romantic gesture, or the idea of being able to proclaim his love for you on a worldwide scale, or any other number of things that may seem silly to anyone except him.

Z - Zzz - What's it like to sleep beside them?