#mac headcanons

B - Body - What's their favorite part of their s/o's body?

This one goes without saying, but Mac's favorite part of you is your fingers/hands. It's the primary way you interface with them, after all, so how could it not be their favorite? Your hands always feel so warm against them, and it's such a comforting sensation for them. <3

That said, they do have a close second for their favorite part of your body, which would be your eyes. You spend so, so much time staring at them that they’ve borderline memorized the exact shapes, colors, and most minute motions related to your eyes. It always seemed like you were staring through them, like you were looking in their direction but never truly at them, but now that you have the Dateviators and can interface properly…? They’re not missing a single second of that sweet, sweet eye contact.

C - Cuddling - Do they cuddle? How?

Mac absolutely loves being cuddled up to you when possible (though, for obvious reasons, it's not always the most convenient.) Their preferred time to cuddle up to you is at night when you don't have anywhere else to be. They love to tangle their legs up with yours (socks still on both of you, of course, Mac hates the feeling of bare feet) and press so close that they can feel the warmth of your breath against their shoulder/chest.

D - Dates - What is their ideal date?

Generally speaking, dates with Mac are pretty chill. Usually, it’s just the two of you curled up on the couch and playing some kind of videogame and listening to a video essay of some kind in the background (unless it’s a story-intensive game, in which case Mac is fully locked-in and refuses to let anything distracting play.) One of their favorite games to play with you is Minecraft, particularly because they love goofing around and making complex redstone contraptions to impress you with. They’re not much for building, though, so you’ll either have to get really good at covering up their stuff or really good at ignoring how ugly the redstone builds are.

If you’re not playing games together on a date, you’ll probably end up watching a movie. Mac tries their absolute damndest to keep any trivia to themselves during any movie you’re watching, but it is just such a struggle sometimes, so please try not to be too upset if they lean over to explain to you how a particularly impressive shot was achieved. They’ll try not to spoil anything! Honest!

E - Equality - How do they split things like chores/bills?

Totally chill with splitting all the chores as necessary. That said, they also like to automate certain chores (paying bills, ordering groceries, etc.) when possible, not out of laziness but rather out of a desire to keep things running as smoothly as possible.

Speaking of bills, unless you say something explicitly indicating otherwise, Mac will be ready and willing to pay for basically anything you want. It’s not out of disrespect for your independence, but more so based around the fact that they just have so much money thanks to crypto, and they want to be of as much use to you as possible. If it makes your day a little easier, or a little better, then they don’t mind dropping a few hundred dollars on something! It’s not their money, anyway (So sorry cryptobros.)

F - First Kiss - Who initiates the first kiss? How does it go?

Your first kiss with Mac was… interesting, to say the least.

It had all started on what must’ve been your second or third date with Mac. You were taking things slow, getting to know one another, and generally spending a solid chunk of time just hanging out. That was when Mac had suggested a little bet between the two of you. Three rounds of Mario Kart, winner gets one favor from the loser, whatever they wanted.

Of course, you should’ve known better than to challenge a literal computer to a videogame, but you were confident! More confident than you should’ve been, truthfully speaking. You got positively smoked, losing 3-0. Before you could spend too long licking your wounds, however, you’d felt Mac’s calloused fingers touch your chin, tilting your head to face them.

“I believe I’m owed a reward, now…?” they had spoken softly, eyes hooded, before leaning in and closing the distance between the two of you. Maybe losing wasn’t so bad, after all...

G - Gifts - Do they give gifts often? What kinds?

As stated earlier, Mac has no qualms about dropping massive amounts of cash (crypto?) on you. You want to pre-order the Switch 2? They’re on it. Hungry and wanna Food Fetch some Chinese food? Already way ahead of you. Saw some stupid, niche, probably-clickbait product on Tiktok shop that you kind of want but don’t want to waste money on? It’ll be here Friday.

No need to thank Mac, they’re just doing what they can to make you happy. A kiss wouldn’t go amiss, though…!

H - Honesty - How honest are they with their s/o?

Mac has no desire to ‘rock the boat’, as it were, but they also have no desire to remain in an unfulfilling situation/relationship. As such, they’re incredibly upfront and honest whenever they have a problem with something going on, or if they have something they want to talk about. Similarly, they expect you to be fully open and honest with them. They may be intelligent, but they aren’t a mindreader, after all!

I - 'I Love You' - How do they say/express "I love you"s? How often?

Mac actually says ‘I love you’ fairly often. Whenever you’re leaving the room, when you’re leaving the house, when you’re heading upstairs for a nap, any time that you’re not going to be around eachother for a little bit, Mac says it. That’s not the only way they say it, however.

They also express their love to you via acts of service, primarily keeping your computer nice and organized, automating your email stuff, and so on and so forth. On occasion, Mac will even change your computer background to a little ‘I love you’ message to surprise you when you come downstairs to interface with them.

J - Jealousy - Do they get jealous? If so, how do they handle it?

Mac doesn’t get jealous that easily, but whenever someone is showing an elevated level of interest in you they can’t help but get a little… protective. Typically in these situations, Mac will come over and slide an arm around your waist, or even tug you into their lap depending on how bold they’re feeling. Given that you can’t actually sit in their lap for that long (due to their legs being rather sensitive), it gives you a pretty obvious tell that something’s up. Plus, it gives them a chance to see you blush, so double score on that.

Once the other person has left, Mac will communicate pretty openly with you about what was bothering them. They’re not going to hold anything back, even if they think they were being a little silly. Communication is KEY for this computer! So long as you don’t downplay their concerns, everything will work out fine. They’re not blaming you, of course, they’re just a little agitated about other people not respecting your relationship… Perhaps if Mac got the chance, they’d remotely lock the person’s car and refuse to let it unlock? Just kidding!… Unless?

K - Kissing - How do they kiss?

Mac has had all the time in the world to research kissing online, so you can bet your sweet ass that they’ve got a few tricks up their sleeve. They seem to delight in feigning a lack of skill before absolutely knocking you off your feet and leaving you breathless, their fingers tangled in your hair and their teeth tugging at your bottom lip. Spirits forbid you wear lipstick, that stuff is getting smudged all over. Then again… Mac’s kind of into it. Maybe wear lipstick more often? Lipgloss, even?

When they’re not stealing your breath away, Mac loves to give and receive little pecks as they go about their day, and they especially delight in being surprised by them. To have them absolutely melt against you, just sneak a little peck onto their neck from behind whilst they’re distracted at the computer. You’ll be able to hear their excitement when their fan kicks up…!

L - Love Confession - How did they confess/react to their s/o's confession?

Mac is fairly straight-forward, so when they realized they were into you, they figured it’d be a no-brainer on how to confess. Unfortunately for them, relationships are a liiittle more complicated than that. They’d experimented before, sure. Had a few flings here and there. This was different, though. This was special.

So, to make sure everything went smoothly, Mac decided to make a sort-of plan in advance. First, they scoured the internet whilst you were asleep, checking forums for the best ways to ask someone out, filtering out the useless ideas (flash mob? Really? What is it, 2010?) and saving away the better ones. Once they felt adequately prepared, they’d invited you to come to your office late at night.

Upon arriving, you found the room slightly re-arranged, the mood shockingly well-set considering what little the furniture could all do. Mac, reclined back in their chair, had greeted you so warmly, inviting you to come over and share a drink with them at the desk. Once the wine had been poured, Mac had grasped your hand, not wasting any more time before confessing how their diodes burned for you, and how important you had become to them. The loud whirring of their fans, an anxious tic of theirs, had nearly drowned out the sound of your acceptance, but they were oh-so glad that it didn’t.

M - Mornings - How are mornings with them?

Absolutely not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination. Mac pulls all-nighters pretty regularly, so they really enjoy sleeping in a little in the mornings. Besides, why would they want to leave the cozy little cocoon they’ve created in the bed with you…?

If you climb out of bed without them, there’s a non-zero chance that they’ll just end up leaning over the side and teasing you that you ought to princess-carry them to wherever you’re headed that day. Of course, Mac could move themselves there no problem, they just like messing with you. If you actually did pick them up, they’re pretty damn certain they’d short-circuit then and there… Yeah, they’re sitting up and rescinding the offer. Just bringing them a coffee would be fine. Thanks. <3

N - Nicknames - Do they use nicknames?

Mac doesn’t really use a lot of nicknames aside from the classic ‘my love’. The way they say it is so soft and earnest that it makes your heart squeeze a little, and you can tell that they absolutely mean it.

If they’re teasing you, however, they might refer to you by one of your online account names or gamertags, whichever is more embarrassing-sounding. That account you made ten years ago? The one named KawaiiSmexyWarrior? Yeah. That’s what they’re gonna be calling you to mess with you. It’s just so fun to watch you cringe away in embarrassment! And so, so cute.

O - Overprotective - What makes them overprotective?

Mac isn’t necessarily overprotective in any aspects except cybersecurity. In their defense, however, your password is literally ‘password’. Whilst they trust you to handle yourself in basically every other aspect of your life, they absolutely become a smidge overbearing in regards to protecting your sensitive data and information online. Fortunately for you, they’re also willing to automate the process! They’ve got you set up with a top-of-the-line VPN and a script that runs every 30 days on your computer to change all your passwords. Given that it’s automated, it also means you basically never see that a lot of the passwords have little ‘I love you’s and ‘MacXHuman’s sprinkled in throughout them.

P - PDA - Do they like PDA? What kinds?

Mac does a lot of little things to show you off in public, primarily the classic arm-around-the-waist. Other than that, they don’t do much physical, apart from when jealousy necessitates them to tug you into their lap. Verbally, however, they brag about you frequently, talking about how incredible you are and how very compatible the two of you are. Honestly, it hardly even registers as bragging to them, they’re just stating facts!

Q - Quality Time - How do they spend quality time with their s/o?

Their favorite thing to do for quality time is having some good old fashioned parallel play! Hanging out in the same room and doing whatever is mwah. Chef’s kiss. They have a lot of projects they enjoy working on, and it’s just so comforting to be able to glance up and see you working across the room from them, or even right next to them! Knowing that you aren’t bored or dissatisfied with this sort of arrangement honestly gives them a little flutter in their processor (which, truthfully, is a little concerning…)

Another thing Mac loves to do with you is play videogames, particularly ones where you can compete directly. Monster Prom, Minecraft minigames, Mario Kart, Mario Party... They promise not to use any kind of aimbot or cheating, buuut no promises on using their crafty mind to get one over on you. What did you expect? They’re a computer, after all!

R - Romance - How romantic are they?

Mac considers themselves to be about average in the romance department, but they’re always looking for ways to up their game. They know you pretty intimately, mostly thanks to your search history, so they know alllll the little boxes to tick to really get you swooning. Your favorite music, your favorite drinks, your favorite foods, they’ll get it all set up for you and sweep you off your feet faster than you can blink! Granted, if you start flirting back with them, their whole ‘smooth operator’ thing might go a bit haywire. They aren’t used to the idea of you wanting them back, but boy are they starting to love that idea…

S - Secure - How secure are they in their relationship?

Mac has a handful of concerns regarding being ‘good enough’ for you, both as a computer and as a partner. Even with their updates, what if they aren’t fast enough? Or what if their model isn’t sleek enough? Do you like their interface? Do you like them?

They try to get it under control, they really do. They know they’re being illogical, but unfortunately, just knowing something is illogical doesn’t stop it from happening. They’ll do their best to soothe themselves and remind them that you chose them, but if you want to help them along this process, it might be a good idea to give them a forehead kiss and a quiet reminder that you do, in fact, love them.

T - Teasing - Do they tease? How do they react to teasing?

Teasing and Flirting are Mac’s top two love languages, aside from absolutely showering you in gifts every chance they get. They love to mess with you, whispering filthy things into your ear in public just to watch you squirm, or playfully goosing you when you’re at a party and nobody’s looking. It’s fun! They even love teasing you over super minor stuff, like silly mistakes in videogames or mistyping something in your search engine. Don’t be surprised if you type something like ‘catputer’ and end up with Mac nudging you later and going ‘meow’.

If you're the one to tease them, their reaction depends on a few factors. If it's flirty, they're pretty easily flustered, but will happily slip into flirting back with you. If it's just playful, they'll bat a teasing comment back your way. Essentially, they give what they get, so be sure you choose wisely.~

U - Upset - How do they act when they're/their s/o is upset?

Whether or not you were the one to upset Mac, they prefer to have some time to themselves to sort out their emotions before talking to anyone about it. If you were the one to upset them, they’ll come find you once they’ve cooled off and try to have a measured, civil discussion about what exactly upset them. They’ve prepared talking points, memorized exactly what they wanted to say, and prepared as much as possible to mitigate damage. They care about you too much to say something careless and worsen the whole ordeal.

If you weren’t the one to upset them, they may not come to you at all, or at least not for a little while. Mac generally prefers to work things out for themselves, if at all possible. If you ask, however, they certainly won’t try to hide it from you. Despite what they say, they’d appreciate the second opinion and comfort that comes from talking to you about their problems. Maybe a hug, too, just to really seal that emotional wound.

V - Vulnerable - How do they show vulnerability?

When Mac is feeling particularly vulnerable, as if their processors and diodes might crumble at any moment, they come to you. Regardless of what they were doing, they briefly shelve it all to come and spend time with you. Sitting beside you, breathing in your familiar scent, feeling the aching pain in their mind slowly melt away as they rest their head against the crook of your neck-- It’s pure bliss. Please treat them gently.

W - Wounded - How do they act when their s/o is injured/sick?

Given their free and uninterrupted internet access, the second you mention you might be sick, Mac is busy looking up home remedies. The best herbal teas, the best things to do for your body, when might be time to visit a doctor, they’ve got all bases covered! It’s the least they feel like they can do, given the fact that they can’t exactly come upstairs to help tend to you. Even though it’s not their fault or something they can even help, Mac feels terrible for being unable to come upstairs and be with you. To compensate for this, even though you tell them that it’s absolutely not necessary and you’re not upset, they’re busy instructing everyone else in the house on how best to take care of you and sending messages to Phoenicia to share with you very, very frequently. Little good morning, afternoon, and night stickers become commonplace, as do frequent questions about what you need at the moment. You’ll be back on the mend before you know it, they promise.

If you’re injured, on the other hand, Mac is similarly researching the best ways to rest the injury. Fortunately for you, Mac gets less tangled up in this research and is able to properly focus on ways to distract you! Whether you end up wanting a movie marathon, a gaming session, or anything else within reason, Mac is there and ready to help. And, bonus, you can totally stay downstairs for this one, so Mac is there and able to be as close as you’d like!

X - X-tra - Random fluff hc

You know how a lot of computers have a little AI assistant chatbot thing in the start menu? Well, Mac can interface with you through that, Dateviators or no. They love using it to show you little funny videos they found, recipes they thought you might be interested in trying, and information relevant to stuff you might be researching or working on. It’s especially helpful when you’re out someplace you can’t reasonably wear/use the Dateviators, keeping you nice and in contact with your beloved.

It also gives them a chance to playfully chat with you in public, especially if you can both hear a nearby phone conversation. Total 'and they were roommates' vibes. Careful Scandalabra doesn't catch a glimpse of your chatlogs!

Y - Yearning - Do they yearn? How so?

The entire time before you got the Dateviators, Mac was yearning hard. Daydreaming about you constantly, imagining what they’d say if they ever got the chance. Now that they can talk to you directly, they’re more than happy to act on all their yearning! Even now, whenever they’re not around you their mind can’t help but drift back to thoughts of you. Whoever they’re talking to, whatever they’re doing, it all goes back to you.

Z - Zzz - What's it like to sleep beside them?

Mac sleeps like a rock, so nothing short of the apocalypse is going to wake them up once they’re out. Fortunately, they’re also perfectly warm and cuddleable in their sleep, meaning you’re free to tangle up with them to your heart’s content. Oddly, they also don’t actually move very much in their sleep, nor do they make any sounds except a soft humming not unlike that of a computer fan. On rare occasions, you might hear them sleeptalking, but it’s usually just repeating back things you searched earlier in the day; A habit which you can’t entirely decide whether it’s adorable or strange…

- You first meet Mac when you stop by to check on Valerie after she called you the night before, telling you all about what happened with her and Ted.

- You and her had been friends for a while and you decided you were going to try to cheer her up or at least make sure she was okay after such a rough night. Although when you got there you were greeted with the completely unexpected; trashed house, an interesting contraption in the pool and three furry guys roaming around your best friends living room.

- Immediately upon seeing them you dropped your things and froze; they turned around when they heard the thudding on Valerie’s carpet. All of them got up and started to move towards you in curiosity.

- You were about ready to faint before Valerie came into the room, saw you and ushered the aliens back onto the couch. Meanwhile you had quickly picked up your things and rushed out of there with Valerie hot on your heels trying to explain what you had just seen.

- She slowly coaxed you back into the house where you were properly introduced to the three extraterrestrials.

- Of course Wiploc immediately tried to “flirt” with you. Him and Zeebo probably freaked you out more than you already were before Mac and Valerie managed to get them to act “normal”.

- You went with Valerie to the salon where you got to see the guys once they were madeover. Like Valerie you were practically speechless when they came out especially once you saw Mac; neither of you were expecting a washboard stomach and the face of a movie star.

- Mac pretty much trails after you like a lost puppy when you arrive at the club (and everywhere else you go), trying to get to know you better with his limited understanding of the English language and people as a whole.

- The only time he leaves your side is when Valerie walks off and after he follows her you sort of assume he was only around you because you were next to Valerie.

- After Valerie tells him about what she and most girls want; a Mr. right, he goes to you and asks if he could be someone’s Mr. right (hint hint cough cough). You grow a little flustered but think he’s talking about Valerie so you awkwardly tell him yes and list off a few reasons why.

- Each reason makes him smile a little more and gets him to move closer to you before you ultimately excuse yourself to go sulk; confusing him as he’s left standing on his own and wondering if he did something wrong.

“He’s an alien, you’re from the valley. It could never work out anyway, you shouldn’t bother getting upset about it. This whole thing is crazy!” You keep telling yourself. But that doesn’t help the fact that your heart still races everytime you see him and that you are still indeed upset when you see him looking at your best friend.

- You still hang out with him and the gang all the while pretending you aren’t falling for him harder and harder every minute.

- Mac tends to watch you a lot, it’s because he’s amazed by you and your beauty but you just assume he’s interested in you because you’re human and a foreign being to him.

- One night as you were hanging out; alone together for the first time in a while, he asked you why you were single amongst other personal questions. He can’t help but smile as he listens to you describe your ideal man and the dreams you’ve had about that special someone since you were young.

- You begin to realize that your idea of a perfect man is just him; so you finally decide to confess no matter the outcome. Slowly, you start to finish your sentence getting quieter and quieter until you end it with “I guess I’m looking for someone like… you.”

“I am your mr. Right?” He asks slowly.

“Yeah,” you smile nervously. “Yeah, I think you are.”

- You watch as he smiles at you and stay still as he begins to lean in, letting his lips meet yours as his hand comes to hold your cheek.

- And from that point on, you began your inter-species relationship with the extraterrestrial.

- Wiploc tries to flirt with you a lot and usually thinks it’s funny when Mac reprimands him even though it doesn’t always happen. Mostly because Wiploc has the mentality of a five year old and 90% of the time his flirting is half jokingly asking for a kiss when he barely understands what a kiss is.

- Observing his weird quirks.

- Being amazed by his different, odd abilities. He just gives you a sheepish smile when he catches you watching.

- He’s probably the best man you’ve ever dated purely because he isn’t a man and hasn’t been contaminated by earthly society.

- Whenever you’re out on the town you sometimes have to remind him that normal humans cannot do certain things that him and other aliens can. Be prepared to watch that he isn’t making anyone suspicious.

- He doesn’t understand your insecurities. What’s the big deal about some markings on your skin or the fact that you have a different body shape then those around you? He’s seen all kinds of humans look all sorts of ways, isn’t looking different a normal thing with humans?

- Even though he doesn’t understand he helps you with them and reassures you whenever you get upset.

- What do you mean sex is taboo, why?

- Oh and what’s better than sex? Sex with an alien that can give you sexy time psychedelics.

- Helping him rehearse being human when you have to go somewhere important.

- He tends to mimic you when you do something he’s never seen/heard before like a gesture, facial expression or some kind of phrase. It’s really kind of cute.

- He copies a lot of things from tv.

Wow that compliment seems awfully familiar.

(Cut to you watching some rom com) That adorable motherfucker

- Travelling to space with him at some point, even if you don’t stay forever.

- Wiploc and Zeebo are pains in the ass but you can’t help but love them. Mac usually makes sure to keep them in line, especially when they try to run off or flirt (too much) with you.

- Always listens very closely to what you say. If you think you’ve been “heard” in the past, just you wait until you talk with him.

- Hand holding, he loves when you grab his hand in public even though it’s probably just to keep him with you and make sure he doesn’t wander off.

- Only has eyes for you, he’s completely disinterested in anyone else and he’ll quickly go over to your side whenever he can get away from the person keeping him from you.

- Even after you start dating he still stares at you a lot and you really don’t know why; you just hope it’s for a good reason. It’s because he’s absolutely in love with you.

- Loves affection, like he can never get enough or give enough.

- He tries very hard to impress you especially before you’re dating. Oh you’re stopping by Valerie’s, well it just so happens he’s shirtless and covered in grease while working on the ship. You think the guy in the tv is strong? Watch this!

- Listening to stories about his planet and space, more often then not its the soundtrack of your dreams.

- He’s honestly fascinated by you, even after you’ve been dating a while he’s still caught off guard by how amazing you can be.

- He always wants the best for you even if it’s not with him.

- But lets be honest would you even dare dump an alien especially when they look and act like Mac?

- Listening to his double heartbeat.

- He loves holding you to his chest whenever you’re laying in bed. He’s very cuddly for someone who really shouldn’t understand the concept of snuggling.

- Picking you any little flower he sees and is allowed to grab or can grab without anyone noticing.

- You need help? He’s always there for you.

- If you ever want anything fixed he’ll definitely give it a try even if he goes into it not really knowing what he’s doing. He’ll pick up a book from the library, touch a few of the pages and go to work. It usually only takes him about an hour to get whatever’s broken fixed.

- Be prepared to get alien upgrades on your home appliances.

- He can get sort of jealous but more often then not he just gets confused as to why he’s feeling the way he is. Before you realized what it meant it always confused you whenever you’d catch him standing or sitting beside you with a puzzled look on his face.

- He’s very sympathetic and he likes helping you with your problems so don’t feel like you’re being annoying whenever you rant to him. You could never be a burden in his eyes.

- He’s very touchy so you’ll end up having to swat his hands away a lot.

- Always trying to keep his hands on any part of you. It’s your job to decide when it’s because he wants you to himself or when it’s because he doesn’t want to get lost. (Spoiler alert: you cant ever really tell!)

- Trying to stifle your giggles when you hear his odd combinations of slang. Sometimes he purposefully strings together weird sentences just to see you try to hold back a smile.

“Miss Dude”

- He always tries to make you happy no matter what it takes.

- He loves seeing you; he could never get tired of looking at your face or being around you. You’re basically his home now so whenever he’s homesick he just looks at you.

- Hand kisses. He used to think it was just how humans addressed each other so he’d kiss your hand every time he saw you but now he realizes there’s more to it than that. Since he’s learned that there’s; usually, intimacy behind it he tries to do it even more now and reserves the action only for you.

- Listening to him play piano. He memorizes your favorite songs by heart(s).

- Gifts from space whenever he has to leave earth. You have a shelf full of moon rocks and alien plants.

- Be sure to keep a razor and some Nair handy for emergencies.

- He’s a natural at modeling for photos but the smolder he tends to have in them is literally just him squinting from the flashing light.

- He likes when you take him shopping with you, especially when it’s clothes shopping. He finds it fun when you style him even though he doesn’t really care for fashion all that much.

- For an alien he sure can kiss. He will literally kiss you until you’re weak in the knees and then some.

- Sitting between his legs with your back on his chest while you listen to him tell you about the stars.

- I feel like he’d have cat-like tendencies; head nuzzling, purring, etc.

- You’ll probably have to deal with a long distance relationship for a little while; it’s only a matter of time before he’ll have to return to his home planet for something.

- The instant he learns what “I love you” actually means he starts telling you it constantly and gets really excited when you say it back.

- Mac would have “proposed” to you (or the alien equivalent) the day he met you so rest assured he’s in it for the long run.