You pick up your phone for the 3rd time in the last 10 minutes. You just need someone, anyone to text you and you don't know what to do. You just have a gut feeling that won't go away no matter how many games you play and how much music you listen to.

Being on Earth c did not help you much. You helped make this whole universe but now every simple little thing feels like your fault. Oh, no crocker is president, it's because of that one thing you did during Sburb.

It's stupid to think that. You know it is, your logic and your overthinking are colliding with each other in this mess of feelings and stupid thoughts. You feel like an idiot. You want to tell someone but you feel like you can't.

That was until you got a notification on your phone

TT: yo dude

TT: I got a game we should play together

TT: when you have a minute

TT: right?

Fuck. you can't talk to Dirk in this state. You can't talk to anyone in this state, especially Dirk. You're so scared of what he would say but you do it anyway.

YN: yeah yeah.

YN: I'll talk in a while

YN: just not feeling the best

You send him a quick pester hoping that that will shut down any thought of him messaging but then you hear your phone ding again.

TT: oh dude

TT: uh

TT: you wanna like talk about it?

You pause as you look at your phone. Do you really wanna tell DiStri all of your problems? Your self-hatred bubbles in your stomach but your will and need for someone overpower and pick up your phone for you.

YN: well just

YN: feeling like a shitty person

YN: or something like that

TT: aw dude

TT: I don't think you are

Yep definitely helps. Sure. he can just tell you that you aren't and everything will be fixed. You stare at your phone for a little bit in utter exhaustion and he pesters again.

TT: well I know that means like shit all coming from me

TT: I just think that it's subjective

TT: you're a great dude to me and I like your company and shit

You can feel the awkward tension and you could probably cut it with a fucking knife.

YN: Thanks

YN: I just

TT: hey you don't need to say anything

TT: I'm not exactly the best person either

TT: Do you want me to come over?

Yes. you need him to fucking hold you and take you away from all of your feelings and make you feel happy. you just want it all to end.

YN: yes

YN: Do you mind?

TT: nah dude

He then left the chat. You don't wanna cry to him for being all sorry for yourself. you know you shouldn't. He should be pissed with you for even feelings like this. You sit in your fucking sorrows soon moving downstairs and collapsing onto the floor in the hallway. You're so weak you can't even make it to the living room. All of your muscles are tense and you shaking and everything seems to be blurry and nothing is there.

Nothing is there until you feel a hand on your back.

“Dude come here"

You hear Dirks' voice and then a pair of arms wrap around you. You don't know what to do. You still hyperventilating and everything feels like it's closing in around you but those warm atoms are slowly starting to bring you back to reality.

“I'm here alright. Dude where the fuck did this come from?”

You don't know. You've never known. You've always had this gut feeling that your shit and no one should ever love you.

“Hey earth to Y/N”

You feel him flip you around and he holds your face in his hands. You finally snap out of it and stare at him through his shades.

“S-sorry”

You finally mutter to him, releasing how stupid you are.

“No no no you're good. Just, fuck.”

You can tell he doesn't know what to do either. It does make you feel a little bit more shit. You're bothering him as well as yourself. There's an awkward silence in the air as you both wait to say something.

“Th-thank you for coming over.”

You hide your face and the moment you look away Dirk holds your face and turns it back to him. He rubs your cheek with his thumb and sighs as he takes off his shades.

“It's no problem. I promise you”

You can't help but stare into his eyes as they look at you with genuine concern.

“You wanna have a distraction or like stay hella comfy on his floor”

He tilts his head like a confused puppy, you can't help but smile.

“I need sugar.”

You breathe out finally getting control over your body again and knowing that Dirk isn't gonna leave you like this. You know he wouldn't hurt you. He makes you feel good. You feel okay around him.

“Then let's go get some food. Up you get.”

He picks you up like a bag of sugar and plops you down onto your feet. He puts his shades back on his face and grabs your shoes by the door.

“Thank you”

A/N: THIS FIC IS ANCIENT. I posted it on Ao3 in like 2023. I still love dirk a lot. dont like how HS:BC is treating him tho ngl...

When Dirk realized he had a crush on you, he was in denial

like SUPER DENIAL. He wasn’t really a ‘crush’ kind of guy, so when he realized his feelings he couldn’t accept it

Then the apocalypse happened and he couldn’t help but worry abt you

He searched the whole town from you. A part of him hoped not to find you

But there you were. At the school with June

He was thrilled when you joined the team but it did make it harder for him to ‘put on the moves’

He does get a few moments with you and he always tries to impress you

You slowly pick up on his crush and you think he’s kind of cute so you entertain it; To bad he’s to stupid to realize you also have a crush on him

Has become very touchy, if you let him he will practically drape himself over you. A hand on your hip, holding your hand, thighs have to be touching when sitting together, arm and leg thrown over you when laying down.

So annoying /affectionate

Teases and sasses you so much you swear it’ll be the death of you.

Would love to use nicknames more often but saying your name grounds him, reminding him that he’s here with you and not Harper.

Speaking of, he tends to steer towards more unique nicknames based on embarrassing things or hobbies you do, if you do any sports you’re ‘His little athlete’ Even if you’re taller than him.

Always collects anything you left in your pockets, may or may not keep some things but always returns something. Normally a few coins, notes and other minor things.

Cuddlebug. Like mentioned above he has to be touching you in some way no matter the heat, him being a weighted blanket turns into his hand holding your arm.

Sorry but he will go through your clothes, dirty and clean. Thinks he knows fashion and tends to dress you up, some are pretty good but others are absolutely horrendous. (Don’t tell him.)

She flips her lid at Dirk more often, frankly. There's been months of resentment there to fester that simply aren't there with you. And Dirk also just enjoys getting a rise out of her, pressing her buttons during moments of calm when everything has just settled down. Though that isn't to say she never gets upset with you either. Suffice it to say, she does not agree with your mission of getting to know most of the other objects in the houses, though she shows her displeasure in a different manner than she would with Dirk.

He returns her fire when she raises her voice at him and doesn't waver, except to get the hell out of there when it's become enough. But you cower and flinch when she starts to scream at you, give her the sort of afraid or hazy-eyed look that makes her feel absolutely awful, like some kind of freakish monster. It's enough to jolt her back to herself, most of the time. (And if it isn't, Dirk is usually there to have your back, leading to both of you being disgraced.)

Most of the time, when she's upset with you, she'll shed tears and hold you and whisper how horrible what you've been doing is making her feel— Can't you see how upset she is? You wanted to join them, wanted to be together with her, and now she isn't enough for you?! If she's upset, that's only because you aren't doing what you promised, following one of the basic rules of a relationship. To just stay with her!! To make her feel loved!!! You already murdered Chappy and stomped on her heart, why do you insisting on kicking her when she's down? Without fail, her emotions spiral from her control, to the point that any bad intent slips through her fingers and she's just genuinely, heartrendingly upset and terrified.

Dirk is more stable, overall, but that doesn't mean he's perfect. He can be kind of an asshole. If he's really not feeling it, he can easily walk away and slip out while Harper is focused on you, leaving you to fend for yourself for his own peace of mind. Or he'll put you on the spot right in the middle of them, forcing you to pick sides, diverting some of the attention away from him. You can't entirely hold it against him, though it never fails to leave a bit of a bitter taste in your mouth. One that Harper readily takes advantage of, nuzzling her face against yours and insisting that she'd never, ever leave you behind like that…

One time, Dirk simply gets up, grabs you by your wrist, drags you with him to your bedroom closet upstairs and introduces you to his… Other lover? It's frankly a bit baffling to you. It's just a body pillow. It's not anything you can realize or interact with, truly something soulless. And yet, Dirk speaks about it as if it were actually real, and the notion that Harper, while making the wrong conclusions, hadn't entirely been wrong about the (emotional) cheating makes you sick to your stomach. But are you going to tell her about, like, the equivalent of someone having a serious crush on a fictional character?! The body pillow not real. Is that worth the nuclear fallout that confrontation would lead to…? Would it be worth to betray one of your partners? (Though, really, aren't you already kind of doing that by keeping Dirk's 'secret'?)

You're slowly driven mad by the relationship you're in, and anyone who spent more than 10 minutes around you couldn't possibly comprehend why you're still together. That you didn't throw the towel in the ring on the second day. It's because it's exactly as Dirk himself had told you before: it isn't all bad, there are a number of good days, they dwindle, and then it becomes better again. No one involved is some cartoonish supervillain, incessantly twirling their moustache and cackling to themselves about how they're going to ruin your day, this time.

Dirk and Harper both want to feel needed and, when your relationship is in calmer waters, you are absolutely showered in affection. Neither of them have much contact with anyone else in the house, except concerning noise complaints. They've all heard each other's stories a thousand times before and they listen to you with rapt attention, laugh along with your jokes, can spend hours cuddled up together with you, just talking. No one has ever been quite that interested in you before, quite this happy to see you— Both of them manage to make you feel special in a way you've never felt before, even when it's that they're willing to get angry over or for you.

Also, the sex is pretty great, if not mind-blowing. Fucking them both at the same time is overwhelming, usually in all the best ways. You've had Harper sit on your face before while Dirk pounds into you, your girlfriend facing his way. ("You're so silly," Harper giggles breathily while you're drowning in her pussy, her clit grinding against your tongue. "Even Dirkie can tell you exactly what to do, and—You'll listen. You're just, haaah, made for stuff like this!" Further away from you, Dirk groans as your hole clamps down around him. "Fuck, Harper, they squeezed down when you said that— Fuck!") Their combined effort never fail to leave you completely fucked out.

There's also something fascinating about how, sometimes, an argument and all their anger can suddenly transform into lust. They're screaming at each other one moment and, then, one of them grabs the other by the front of their clothes and pulls them into a kiss that is more teeth than lips. You're a total pervert, and probably a bit of a freak, for enjoying watching them go at each other like feral cats, but there's something about the desperation of it all that snags your gaze and refuses to let it go.

Harper will leave fiery red scratches up and down his arms and back, perhaps ruining one of your pieces of clothing in the process, while Dirk leaves a row of bites down Harper's neck. It's always fast and violent and never boring. When they're done, Harper, with kiss-swollen lips usually just takes one look at you and laughs, directing Dirk to 'help you' so you don't feel so left out. As soon as it's all over, you're the one soothing their scratches and too-deep bites, ignoring Harper's sighs about how she 'wishes it would scar'.