less without jams

I got an ask saying “If twilight was remade in 2020 who would be in the cast? Cursed answers only” I figured I’d just make it into a post. I can only put in ten photos as a time so bare with me. There’s 46 people in the new cast (instead of making separate posts I’m just going to add each addition as a reblog I would recommend waiting to see the full cast)

Directed by: Taika Waititi

Edward: John Mulaney (improvising all of his own lines and wearing full khaki)

Bella: Debby Ryan

Carlisle: Owen Wilson wearing this outfit

Esme: Martha Stewart

Rosalie: Jenna Marbles

Emmett: Julien Solomita

Alice: James Charles

Jasper: Robert Pattinson but how he looked in Good Time (yeah I’m casting Robert Pattinson in this)

From Olympus

Photo: Ana Martinez 

Styling and Creative Direction: Mario Ville (Kattaca) 

Makeup design and make up artist: Lewis Amarante for Kryolan and Pankr0 

Makeup and hairdressing: Sergio Jiménez 

the tiny simone de beauvoir who lives in my left ear: the fictional woman is a vehicle for the ineffable traumas of your feminine self.

Kitty loop 

i Hate how entitled adults can feel over a child’s hair!

it started when i was young myself, i wanted a mohawk, but my dad didn’t approve of that look on a “girl”, and insisted i’d regret such a bold cut. at 16 i was finally given full autonomy over my own head.

but then i have a son and everyone around us is trying to keep his hair short. when we finally moved out just me my partner and him, i told him he doesn’t need to get any haircuts he doesn’t want.

so he starts growing it out, it’s still short but coming on mid-length. his teacher makes a point to tell me it’s getting long as if i don’t have eyes. i hear her walking out with him one day talking to him about haircuts, as if to coax him into one. eventually i get child services called on me for ‘forcing a transgender lifestyle’ over what i can only assume is from a combination of me drawing cute ponies on his valentine box and letting him go to school in a ponytail.

he kept it short for awhile after but told me he wanted to grow it out again, so i let him of course. he comes home one day after getting a haircut at his grandpa’s and tells me he didn’t Want the haircut.

i ask why he got it then and learned he was bribed with a promise of a surprise IF he cut his hair.

but This One Lady from church decided that leaving my hair messy and curly was child abuse and threatened to call social services on my family every damn time she saw me until one day she was the designated kid watcher and ho boy my momma tells me i came out with tears in my eyes and greasy slicked down hair and that’s where she ends the story because i think my mother beat her ass but yeah.

The Bachelor(ette)s Tweeting

Part 4

(Tweet Credit in @s)

Bonus: