I’m Tired @jaketank - Tumblr Blog

Oh, hello! I haven’t been on this app in probably 7 years. If any of yall exist still, hope yall are doing okay

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malwizard

im translating russian memes for practice and i... theyre so fucking funny

me: *flips pillow over to the cold side and goes back to sleep*

nurse who's been watching me in a coma for the past 5 years:

Yooo, what even is this website lol

ryanphantom

you can really tell who’s been on this site for 6+ years this week

most of tumblr: OH GOD TUMBLR’S DYING!!!!

old users:

loafed-beans-deactivated2020082

fedkaczynski

What’s funny is that this actually happened.

allamericankindofguy-actual

I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

fedkaczynski

Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis.

ethereal-insight-deactivated201

Did he survive?

loafed-beans-deactivated2020082

Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

doctor-roman

His name was Aimo Koivunen if you want to look him up

misteryada

Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed

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daily-garfield

07/23/83

marblepebble

WHAT???? I NEED CONTEXT

corporateespionage

Dude there are 6 Garfield strips that explain Garfield is actually an abandoned cat dying alone of starvation in an apartment and all the food and friends are in their head.

king-of-the-heel-deactivated201

UR JOKING

corporateespionage

regenerative-farming

What the fuck

reddyrabbit

Incorrect. Jim Davis has gone on record saying that the Halloween strips were a nightmare. This is also supported by OUR Garfield being canonically Garfield’s overall 8th Life.

As told in “Garfield: His 9 Lives”, Garfiled was born behind an Italian Resturant, was caught eating the Lasagna, was placed in the same pet shop as Odie (Who was established as being Garfield’s eternal rival through all his lives), and was adopted by Jon. Garfield will live long enough to see his GrandKittens.

Also, as for Garfield’s amazing powers that you constantly see here and elsewhere?

That’s what God looks like at the beginning of “Garfield: His 9 Lives”.

Garfield is, canonically, an Avatar of God.

ftagn

Garfield is an eldritch being, pass it on!

the-fury-of-a-time-lord

no really what the fuck

traegorn

I always love seeing people react to how insane the Garfield canon is.

comicstripcritic-deactivated201

what. What. WHAT. WHHHAAAAAAATTTT?!?!

my-aesthetic-vibes

Meet Kingsley Gsd

Credit: @blackwolfblackpanther

im going to cry

oh my god stop cyberbullying Jeb Bush you’re making me pity him

ok-dingo

planesawesome

syn-dicato

Reddit user /u/FuturePunk made these cool retro-style designs of modern media/internet companies.

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theamericanpatriotpage

- Eon Standing

kurapicano-remaking-deactivated

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read in a science book

alastyearonearth

show us the duck op

kurapicano-remaking-deactivated

the duck.

alastyearonearth

forbidden bath toy

thesmolknowingclown-deactivated

Lush is getting wild with their bath bombs

cybergata

rina_takei

obeekris

“Why did it take you 10 minutes to clean 1 window?” “There was a cat.”

m4a1-shermayne

S P R I N G L O A D E D H A T C H E S

How American were you today?

I just packed a bowl with a 5.56 casing into a pipe that says FUCK TRUMP while blasting Fortunate Son by Creedence Clearwater. This is the most American I’ve felt since my deployment to Africa

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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The long hair is returning, my friends (at Garland, Texas)

humorhour

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