Bitter

“It is funny how the mind forgets.” The words were idle, a courtesy and little more. Lucia forgot nothing of those she had lost. Their names and faces constantly lurked in the shadows of her mind, spurring her on when she needed it the most. Perhaps that was something Princess Helen felt too. “He was killed to place your brother on the throne. Even if you do not accept her claims, which you should not, one cannot deny she has a right to seek justice for the perpetrators.” Anybody could see Helen was acting out of a thirst for vengeance, but if Poland would do nothing to avenge their fallen heir, perhaps she had a right to it. “I confess, I know little about your ways. But if the circumstances are as you say, your brother has nothing to fear. Helen will fail on her own with time, maybe.” She smiled, though she personally would not have left it up to chance. “It is certainly one way to handle the situation. And it would avoid wasting the blood of Polish men.”

Frown mars her features as the woman spoke. Helen did have a right to seek justice, but not for the late King, but rather for her mother - she had heard the tale of the late Queen, her brother’s wife, and how it was said that she had been removed from this world in her sleep. “Perhaps, but not my brother. I know for a fact that there was no foul play in his death - well, unless you count in God and nature as foul. But, her mother... yes, I have heard about that. I too would have sought justice for that, but it should not be at the expense of her uncle’s and cousins’ lives - or their futures.” Helen should not yearn for removing Sigismund from the throne, or to remove Wład from succeeding it. “Yes, I suppose you are right. She will fail - but, I hope will be smart and dignified enough to know when to quit - and not to take down the kingdom with her.” The Church will never allow for a woman to be queen in her own right - not with a male heir present and healthy.  “It would be great if it would also protect my nephew - lest she might get an idea to dispose of him, to rid herself of the competition. I would not put it past her.”

post count this week ( 17/05 - 23/05 ) : n. of replies ( 2 ) + n. of tasks ( 0 )

“perhaps it is best you never travel to my country then. we have as many deserts as jungles, and all trap heat in.” her question earned her a chuckle — he supposed he had never thought of his own home as being anything other than favorable. “a fair question. we drink a lot. the secret is stay hydrated,” he teased.

the description of her woods was enough to capture his imagination. he had never had much cause to travel, but the more time he spent talking to others about their own worlds, the more he wanted to see them for himself. “i did not realize how much i would miss the familiarity. there is something beautiful about recognizing so many of the faces around you, about smelling the spices that fill your home each night, or hearing the hum of merchants in the street. i do not think i can pick just one thing.”

“Oh, it sounds dreadful.” Adelaide added with a soft, good natured chuckle - the mere thought of the heat made her pulse quicken. “Yes, I suppose staying hydrated is the only remedy to such things.” She lightly nodded. During summer, she would always carry enough water with her to satisfy a herd of horses, and it did help - most of the time. Humming lightly at the following words, Adda found herself nodding once more. Indeed, the familiarity was what they all missed the most. People were creatures, nay slaves, of habit and everything that stepped out of the usual, out of comfortable tended to make them paranoid or antsy; she herself was like that. “Indeed, you are right. I think that everyone here misses their habits - stepping out of the comfort zone does not bide well with people. We are all slaves to our own comfort, I believe.”

Brows furrow in both outrage and distaste at the inquiry. For a moment she pondered if she should deign to answer such an absurd question, but in a heartbeat she found herself replying. “Of course not. How could I ever be happy, if it meant hurting the ones I love?”

"I think he is a good man and a good ruler.” Once he shows interest in it. It is not a secret that he lets most of the state’s affairs to be governed and sorted out by Mary, and their council, but he is not as disinterested in politics as many would like to believe. “Everyone can become more capable, if they put their minds to it and the same goes for my brother. If it comes to it, I am certain Sigismund will surprise us all.”

The question leaves her snorting in amusement. “I have long stopped caring about what other people think of me and what fabrications they spin in order to amuse themselves. Once it bothered me, but now... now, I have come to realise that, what others think of me, is not my business and thus is completely irrelevant to me.”

There was a lengthy pause at the question. It was not like she did not consider it once; how a perfect life would look like. But, life itself was far from perfect, and she was not the kind to ponder utopias. “I suppose I would like to retain some semblance of freedom and liberty. I am quite fond of adventures - I would like to explore the world, see new places - “ not new people, though. She did not trust people. “ - but, what may seem ideal to me right now, or what may have been ideal in the past, does not have to turn out to be ideal for me. I believe in adapting to situations at hand and making the most out of them.”

The question left her with a soft frown on her face. “Well - “ she paused, lips pursing together in silent thought as she briefly considered the in laws. “ - they have all been very kind to me. But, I still do not know them well enough to truly know how I feel about them. So far, my experience and interactions with them had been pleasant and amiable. I do hope to think  of them as family in the future, once Tómas and I marry.”

"Oh, this is easy.” She chuckled; “My England based in-laws; nephews James and Arthur, and niece Margaret. I love them as if they were my true family.” She would certainly protect them as if they were such.

It was not that she did not have any say in it - if she had really went out on a limb and protested, she was fairly certain that she could have either bribed or nagged Sigismund into submission - but, she did not want to cause any more trouble to her family, so she relented, agreeing to marry into Spain. "Truthfully speaking, I had never quite... seen myself as a wife material. I was content enough to stay in Poland, unmarried, and by my brother’s and family’s side. But - “ she paused, lips pursed in thought. “ - now that I come to think of it... I do want to marry Tómas. I got to know him better and we seem to get along just fine.”

She studied the princess for a moment and shook her head a little. “You aren’t wrong,” she pointed out. “But when I was married, I had lost everything. My family, my title, my home and my free will. All that I was had already been erased. My name was the only thing I had left to give up, and for that reason alone, I would not.” There was a sharpness to her words that made it impossible to invoke sympathy. Despite what had been done to her, Lucia was no victim, and had no desire to be seen as such. She was what she was; a woman who has lost too much, and who had gained so much more. 

She nodded her understanding. “It was so long ago that you do not feel the loyalty towards him as you do to the current king..” She spoke logically, as though she was not discussing the death of her brothers. “England has a queen on the throne,” she pointed out. “There is no reason Poland may not decide to follow suit. Being cast aside for a brother is not the same as being cast aside for a cousin.” She was not advocating for Helen, per se, but neither did she think the situation was as clear-cut as Adelaide made it. “If it were me, I would simply drag things out for another few years. Humour her, perhaps, to reduce the chance of an attack by her supporters. Distract her from any attempts to wed and conceive. Then, once she is too old for children, use that to strike her down. Even if she does end up succeeding, in the end, you still will have bought enough time to secure the crown prince as an heir to her.” 

Adelaide understood the woman’s words - she sympathised, as well. Women had always seemed to lose more than they gained whenever they would be married. It was simply the way society worked ( but, that did not mean that the Polish princess was happy about it - she was not. she was not looking forward to having her name changed into Trástamara, when she was a Jagiellon by both nature and nurture ). She wondered, then, if she could do the same as lady della Rovere - keep the name, if not the title. She did not really care about being a princess - it brought her nothing good, not really; just endless worry about her family - but she does care about being a Jagiellon.

“Of course. I barely remember him, to be quite honest with you. It has been so long since he had died.” Adda replied with a soft nod. Memory - it was a wicked thing; sometimes, one could remember the slightest of details, the most insignificant ones, yet when it came to people, to important things... one could lose all remembrance of it. What lady della Rovere was saying had been true, but it was not quite relevant for Poland. “Yes, but the English church is different from the one our people worship. They do not need a pope of anoint their rulers, and since my niece Agnieszka, despite being older than her brother, had already been skipped in line of succession, I do not know why would Helen, yet another woman, hold any sway over little Wład. Even if she is my eldest brother’s daughter.” Perhaps she was a fool to worry about her, then. But, perhaps she was smarter than she gave herself credit for. “Perhaps you are right. Perhaps we could just bury her under the mountain of paperwork and council meetings until she is old and grey, and barren.”

post count this week ( 10/05 - 16/05 ) : n. of replies ( 1 ) + n. of tasks ( 0 )

“There is none taken,” she raised a hand as though to wave away the apology, though she spoke more amiably than she felt. She had never been made to feel entirely welcome amongst the De Medici, with only Piero having her trust amongst them. The others were a danger to her and her children, and she would never look at them as anything less, for they had never truly made her feel one of them. This was not what a family was, not to Lucia. “It is no small thing to turn your back on who you were born to be. Besides, my husband’s sister, Giovanna, is more commonly known as Lady De Medici than I.” Not that anybody would confuse the two. In looks and temperament, they were as different as night and day.

“What of your other brother? Helen’s father?” She did not ask because she believed this woman deserved the throne of Poland, nor was she interested in playing devil’s advocate, but picking Adelaide’s brains offered her ample opportunity to learn more of Poland, and learn how this budding friendship, if that was what it was, could benefit the both of them. “If she is his daughter that would put her above your King in that same line of succession.” Her head tilted, and she wondered in the princess knew the rumours of her brother’s tastes, that people called him the Tudor Queen’s puppet, or if she simply did not want to believe it. Perhaps the Polish could love him apart from that, but that seemed unlikely. “Helen is not a young woman,” she pointed out, fairly. “Even if she does ascend the throne, she does not have much time to be wedded and bedded. Would that not make the crown prince her heir regardless?”

Indeed, it was not a small, or easy, thing to turn one’s back on their family, on what and where they were born - family, and family name, made a person who and what they were. She could relate with lady della Rovere in that aspect; while the Spanish queen and both princesses have been amicable with her, she doubted she would ever truly feel like a part of their family. “You are right, but if I am honest with you, I do not think that a change of name can really change who we are as people. Our values remain integrated deep in our person, values that we learned by being born della Rovere or Jagiellon. These semantics with taking our husbands’ names... they do not change us. They do not erase who we are. At least they should not.”

At the question of her late brother, Adelaide sigh. She was very young when he had perished due to an illness, but she still missed him, just as she had known that Sigismund missed him. “He was the heir apparent, but his rule had been... brief. An illness took him from us when I was still very young.” She replied, then continued to explain; “It is not that she does not have a right to the throne. By... being his daughter, she has a viable claim. But, we live in a Christian world where a woman cannot inherit the throne suo iure, so even if she... had stayed in Poland all her life, she would not have had the right to inherit it, as a woman. The same reason why Sigismund’s firstborn was cast aside immediately upon her younger brother’s birth. Men, unfortunately, have the upper hand.” She added with a sigh, but then pursed her lips in thought. “I suppose you are right. If she remains unwed or if she proves to be barren, then I suppose the crown would revert back to the closest male relative.”

post count this week ( 03/05 - 09/05 ) : n. of replies ( 4 ) + n. of tasks ( 0 )

“more than i can say! i do not think i have ever been this cold in my life. how do you do it?” even on the spring days that grew sunnier than the long, dark months, it was far different than what ahmad had grown used to. ( warmth! sunshine! sudden, humid storms! ) it was no wonder the western world was so pale — and unhappy. “what is your favorite thing about your home then — the thing you find yourself thinking most about?

Adelaide softly laughed at the question. “The cold? Oh, I love it. I find the heat to be much more unbearable to me. In fact, I am rather prone to faints during the summer, due to the intense heat.” She replied, an amused smile dancing on her lips. “How do you deal with the heat?” She retorted, but his following question made her purse her lips in thought. What did she miss the most? “The forests, I think. The deep, darkgreen hues of the evergreen woods. The shade the provide and the comfort which they invoke in me.” Adda’s smile softened at the thought, before countering; “What do you miss the most about your country?”

there was a strange undercurrent to this wedding celebration, of that Isabeau was certain. she could feel it and as the other woman spoke, her head inclined in agreement. the tragedies indeed had seemed to stack atop each other, so much so that isabeau had wondered if it was worth it to remain in switzerland. if her eldest brother were not so inept, she might have been tempted to do so, but she saw more opportunity than most when it came to the french crown. besides, at this point, few knew what home would be for her; perhaps she would marry the bastard of germany while in switzerland, much to her current displeasure. “indeed. perhaps we might be better off at home now than we would be here, just waiting for the next occurrence.”

the first attack, the explosions had been difficult for her to bear and there were still some nights when Isabeau thought she might have died, woken up with her shift clinging to her skin from sweat, from the fear. but now was not the time to think of such things and isabeau’s focus turned back to Adelaide. “germany, actually,” she responded to the other woman’s question with a placid expression and tone, keeping the annoyance at marrying a bastard out of her voice as best she could. “shall it be soon then?” she lifted her goblet back to her lips and took a long pull before speaking once more. “i have not. i believe the king francis still needs to speak with the king of germany about some details.” women rarely held their own lands after marriage and isabeau knew that francis would not want her own holdings to fall to germany. “but it seems likely it will occur here, at any rate. rather convenient, i suppose.”

Humming in agreement to the princess’ words, Adelaide nodded once more. She certainly would have liked to be home right now - to be in Poland, to help her brother and Mary dealing with the storm and disaster that is the newly found princess Helen. She would have liked to be home, to be surrounded by people and places she was familiar with, rather than being here, surrounded by people whom she was not acquainted with, people who may or may not prove to be enemies ( for whichever reasons - succession, greed or thirst for power. she did not know, but she would not be surprised if it were the case; if she learns Sigi does have enemies in Switzerland ). “You are right. It feels like we are not fully out of the woods yet. The culprit still remains at large. I, too, long for Poland as I imagine you long for France.”

Pursing her lips in thought, Adda lightly frowned. Germany and France? Hm, it certainly sounded more... convenient. Though, with marriage alliances, she was never certain whom would end up wedding whom, as those things were rarely set in stone until the actually ceremony would take place. “My apologies. Sometimes I forget where my own fiancé is from.” She softly chuckled. “Have you met your betrothed yet? Is he to your liking?” She asked in a soft tone, before shrugging at her question. “Yes, I think it will be soon, but we have not set the date yet. With princess Helen surprising us all to such an extent, we did not have the chance to further discuss it. But, I think we will be wed here, as well. It seems all of the marriage alliances will be officiated here.” Adda added with a soft snort.