blinding lights.

she gives him an almost dead look at the question that she knows he already knows the answer to. when it comes to concerts in other cities or countries, there’s never any time for actual free time; it’s just always been that way. “oh please. everybody knows that your ego is undefeatable. i can’t wait for it to pop one day.” with what she hopes is a threatening glare, she stares him down for a moment before going back to the drink in hand. she swirls it around a few times before deciding that she wasn’t going to actually take another sip. 

“are we finally getting soloist jae?” the conversation is swerving towards the direction of their past conversations and how suji seems to be the only one that continuously advocates for jae to be able to release solo music. she can’t say much more since she doesn’t know how dimensions works, but she can only imagine how frustrating it is for him to not be able to actually release anything. “maybe you should blackmail the company. i’m sure there’s more than enough material out there for that. team up with your fans.”

he rolled his eyes, making a face at her expression. he knows there would be no time, but it still felt like bullshit. it should be a perk to explore some when you travel abroad, regardless of schedule. “and what a day that will be. what would the world do without my neverending self confidence, amelia?” switching languages easily, almost exclusively for the purpose of mocking her with a goofy smily in exchange for her flat, unamused stare. 

“think of it as an early birthday present.” it’s a lousy excuse, and she did have a reason for the charm on the tip of her tongue, but she seems to have conveniently forgotten it as soon as he opened the door. “didn’t have the time to wrap it or anything so here,” she says as she grabs his hand and spreads it out, placing the present on the palm of his hand. before he can react, she makes his way over to his sofa instead to take a seat.

taking the offered drink, she shakes it in her hand a few times before opening it up. “woah, one question at a time.” suji puts up her hands defensively before going over the asked questions. “it was alright. barely a trip since i was there for a concert,” she says with a shrug. truthfully, if she had more time to explore the city, she would have enjoyed it more. the one night she did have, however, she ended up buying jae an unexpected gift. “yeah, i had a bunch of people screaming my name and holding up signs asking me to marry them so i guess it was pretty okay,” she says a little teasingly with a scrunch of her nose. “what have you been doing? other than lazing around like you always do, of course.”

“if you say so.” he froze, standing stiller as she placed the charm into his open palm, closing his fist around it after she had already moved away. “you didn’t have to even get me anything.” he studied it a little more closely before tucking it into his pocket. he’d put it on his keychain later, he’d have to find his keys fist. 

she hadn’t planned this visit. well, not initially. but then she was in japan, saw a cat badge that reminded her of jae and before she knew it, she had already bought it. this would be the first time she’s seeing him after the cruise, and she’s sat on her decision as well as the whole thought process behind what she did, hoping that it didn’t come out to the one conclusion she didn’t want. okay, so she’s back to liking jae. it took her a while to admit it, but she doesn’t want to deny it like she did last time. 

for a moment, she stands there speechless upon seeing him but then quickly cracks into a smile before showing him the cat charm she had gotten in japan. “surprise gift, and i don’t mean me,” she says swinging around the charm since she didn’t bother to wrap it up. “got back yesterday and decided i should give this to you right away so i don’t forget.” a lie because she’s certain she’d never forget. “can i come in?” she presses down on the hat that she has, signaling to him that the last thing she needs is some nosy neighbor of his recognizing who she is.

he blinked blankly at her mention of a gift before noticing the cat charm, his face lighting up in a confused grin. “you don’t forget things like that.” he cast a quick glance past her — not that he thought his neighbors would care all that much about who he had over, it was difficult to be sure at times. he opened his door wider to allow suji to pass, waiting until it was fully shut behind her. “you can say you missed me, it’s okay,” he continued, keeping his voice lighthearted, a poor attempt at hiding his genuine excitement to see her.

a knock at the door took jae by surprise, as he wasn’t really expecting anyone, though he pushed himself off his couch. he pulled open the door with an inquisitive look to reveal suji, though he couldn’t be upset to see her. the hardly worth mentioning kiss on the cheek from new year’s still stuck in his mind. it made himself feel nearly self conscious in his current state, borderline exhausted from the music video filming they had earlier, running his hand through his hair, still damp from the shower.

“hey,” he said, with some surprise, going to look at his watch for the date. “what are you doing here? thought you were in japan for a while longer.” 

one month. the song’s were completed and they’d film the music videos this week. and now it was time to put the feelers out for the album. he had chosen a pretty simple restaurant  for this, the place wasn’t too busy and it did pretty good at making sure the people who entered didn’t fawn or interrupt idols. something he was thankful for. “hey” he looked up when he saw a shadow pass, nodding his head at the fellow idol who joined him. 

“we’ll be here for a bit, so order whatever you want.” he grinned, plugging his earphones into his phone and offering a one of the earbuds to the other. “we finally have the entire album completed and i want to get some feedback before it comes out.” and then he saw one of the waiters and waved them over. “like i said, whatever you want.”

a beanie pulled low over his hair, he kept an eye out for the alien member as he made his way through the restaurant. with award season in swing, there wasn’t too much going on for them outside rehearsals, so there was time to spare, but of course that meant showing up a little behind schedule, not out of the ordinary for him. once he spotted san, he pulled out the chair and sat down across from him with a grin, taking in the restaurant quickly for the vibe. 

“so the most expensive thing i can get?” there was a note of teasing in his voice, simply pointing at something on the menu that sounded like it’d be good enough, nothing insane, with a quick smile to th waiter. talk of an album sounded familiar, though he couldn’t place how long it had been and instead simply nodded with some excitement. “they let you do anything new on it?” 

fantasy cruise, december 26th: ship decorating shenanigans with @jaefmd

Never quite trusting the minds of show producers (years of experience under her belt has taught her to be cautious and wary — and for very good reasons too), so when she pulls a red card for the day all of her red flags are waving rampantly in her mind. What she’s been told of the premise of the show doesn’t sound like it would be giving them too much of physical labour but one could never be too sure. Surprisingly (and thankfully) she ends up with a job which shapes up to be rather fun to do, and the company she keeps makes it more so.

“Hear me out now. What about hanging a mistletoe in every doorway on this cruise ship?” A wicked grin lights up her face as she holds up a mistletoe in each hand, ready to carry out a plan with or without the approval of her decorating partner (not like she would let a silly little ‘no’ stop her.) “People are probably gonna freak out about it or they’re gonna secretely love it. Either way, it would be for good entertainment, don’t you think?” Shoving the mistletoes in the pocket of her sweater for later use, she bends down to dig further through the boxes of Christmas decorations they had been provided — three tinsels already hanging around her shoulders.

the red cards kept jae busy at least. decorating was not his forte but, it was better than not having anything to do for him, and it didn’t involve dancing, like one of the others. though it wasn’t as fun as a pool party seemed, he didn’t particular mind having the afternoon to essentially relax some before they needed to be more present at the party. he smiled for the cameras and, when they weren’t looking, created designs with some of the decorations. 

was… jae… trying… to do the robot? that would so not do. she waved him over with a circling wrist, and when he’d come close enough, drunken minded seeming nonsense came out. “it’s like,” one arm came to a 90 degree angle at the shoulder, and swung like a pendulum clock from the elbow, “it’s down here, you know? you’ll look silly if you do it all the way up there.” and with a clap on his arm, the subject faded from her thought processes.

“woah, wait, this is your second?” she held up a glass between the two of them, and stared through it to the warped view of jae that appeared. “this is my third. i don’t even think there’s a limit at this party, like, can you believe that? they never let us drink whatever!” the glass lowered suddenly enough that some of the drink spilled out over the edge, unbeknownst to jeonghwa. “but one of the bartender-y people, was like, i dunno, they’re kinda weird. so i think we absolutely should craft a master plan and take two.” one for each of them, obviously. her eyes widened like a doe as a plan… some sort of a plan, arose. “do you have any spy wires? like, the ones in the movies where they lower a person from the ceiling to steal a diamond?”

“they gave you a third? no weird look or nothing?” the look he tossed towards the bar was one of exaggerated hurt and betrayal, at the memory of the funny look at his second. maybe it was just his energy, he couldn’t be sure. “weird how? they say some shit?” he asked, head tilting as he considered the plan. two bottles was more of a challenge, but it was a lot more alcohol to split between the two of them, and he liked the sound of that. 

she does her best to avoid looking back at jae because she knows her face is warming up though probably not flushing pink. or so she hopes. she doesn’t know exactly when it’s started again, but the butterflies that would fly through her stomach a couple of years back have returned at the presence of jae, and she’s been trying her best to get them to go away—so far, she hasn’t been very successful. 

“i blame the one too many romantic comedies i’ve watched,” she says in return before meeting his eyes for a moment. he’s quick to look away, and she’s almost glad because she would have done the same right afterwards anyway. soon there’s loud screams and yells from the other side of the ship and a countdown begins as people take in the last moments of 2020. the first few fireworks start lightening up the sky, and she joins in with her fingers to count down the last few seconds. “3, 2, 1,” she whispers before leaning over to plant a gentle kiss on jae’s cheek. it doesn’t last very long, and she quickly pulls away and clear her throat. “happy new years. now you can stop complaining,” she lets out though she’s not looking at him anymore. she physically can’t find it in herself to do so. instead, she tries her best to focus on the fireworks that have now completely taken over the sky, putting on what she hopes looks like a nonchalant smile. 

the ship’s loud, she knows that, but she can’t really hear any of it. not when the sound of her heart pounding is taking over her whole body. honestly, she doesn’t know what prompted her to do it. (yes, she does). fuck. it’s like deja vu.

“could be. didn’t they have a full movie centered around it, too?” the question was nearly rhetorical, not quite expecting an answer as she turns to the sky and begins to count. a small smile eases across his face as she does, filled with affection for his best friend and her excitement for the new year. that wasn’t all it was, exactly, and he knew that now, but he wouldn’t ever let on to that, if he could help it.

he feels a quick brush against his cheek, though it’s over before he even really registers what happens. as he does, he feels the blood rush into his cheeks, unsure where exactly his voice has gone. “happy new years,” he echoes, quite stupidly. working to keep his hands at his side, confusion flooding through him as he tries to process what, exactly, had happened over the roaring in his ears. she was just being a good friend, he decided, nothing more than that, as she looks out at the sky with an easy, albeit small, grin. if she had meant anything by it, he would be able to tell — he knew her better than that. 

leave it to bc for another fuck up inside rehearsals.

the concept of knight and the brooding bad boy image is a shit keep-up, especially when his shirt’s already tattered and a slip of his torso is already well on its way. there’s still a few minutes till the hustle of the stylists come to safe the day with a few safety pin.

gyujeong still feels exposed when he’s struggling to keep the flinging edges of fabric close together, but he loses his grip when someone comes to his rescue (no need for rescuing when he’s always handled it well on his own). 

a grimace when he squeezes his eyes shut, fleeing a gritty groan from his voice — he’s heard it all before, false aid for a shit cause. “do i look like i asked for any fucking help?” his eyes peel open, slowly and in comes the view of some nobody he’s seen one too many times for his displeasure. “nothing is caught — it’s bc being some cheap ass, giving us clothes that tear the second we perform on stage.” his eyes, incredulous, in the swift glance back to his exposed chest — he paints a picture he deems obvious.

“don’t pretend you give a shit on knight’s malfunctions. don’t you have your own group to worry about?” because faux friendships and nice-guy facades for the cameras never served a balance with gyujeong, not when he was a rookie and not when he was eight years inside a dying career.

the attitude was hardly unexpected, though his lip curled, annoyed enough as it was to be snapped at. “you wouldn’t fucking ask regardless,” he shot back, brow furrowing. “at least accept help when it’s offered.”

regret seeping in at offering already, he patted his pockets for safety pins, anything that would make that clearly unsalvageable situation any better, save a new shirt altogether. “not my fault your company doesn’t give a shit, relax.” his voice barely audible, more muttering to himself as he searched. he came up with only one, that he held out at the knight member, nearly a challenge. 

it wasn’t any of her business, she had her hands full with her own cooking, what jae was up to really wasn’t her problem. but the problem was, he was right there, in her line of sight and with all the  theatrics surrounding him, throwing ingredients together seemingly haphazardly, it was hard to look at way. 

“i’m watching with appropriate caution.” she protested, glaring at whatever he was working on like it might as well have personally offended her. truly, minah was ought to ease up, the whole segment was probably more for entertainment purpose and she shouldn’t be this uptight with camera’s on her but it was hard to fight of the overwhelming urge to shoo jae out of the kitchen and take over for him instead. maybe people had a point after all when they called her a control freak. 

“well then, go ahead, i’m waiting for you to do exactly that.” minah hummed, smiling forcedly as she stirred her own pot, eyes still trained on jae’s handiwork.

“i know what i’m doing,” he returned, exasperation tugging at his smile. minah, though she seemed very nice outside of this instance, was one of those types who often got frustrated with how he acted while cooking. in his experience, so long as it ended up tasting good, there was no harm in not following a recipe to an exact measurement. whatever felt right was what needed to go in. so, though he referenced the paper for the ingredients and a rough idea of how much was needed, he preferred to ignore it and, when he could, her stare. 

lifting his wooden spoon pointedly, he dipped it directly into the pepper flakes and sprinkled them in haphazardly. “see? an exact tablespoon.”

“have you considered that it’s because you open your mouth a little too much? maybe if you’d stay quiet, they’d offer one just by seeing your pretty face,” she says before giving him a pinch on the arm to make up for the fact that she’d admitted that she thinks he has a pretty face. she’s aware that he probably already knows he has a pretty face—his ego is as tall as his height—but her admittance will probably only make it grow. if that’s even possible. 

following his actions, she leans against the rails and looks out into the landscape. “i’ll probably wait for the fireworks. i like the atmosphere of new year’s eve. it’s a little romantic,” she admits before chuckling to herself. digging into her pocket, she grabs her phone to look at the clock. there’s about two minutes left until new years, and it feels a little odd to be spending it on this ship with over fifty other idols. “stay with me?” she asks before looking over with a little pout. 

"well, that’s just unreasonable. i’m pretty enough for — ow, hey.” he tugged his arm away with a laugh, rubbing it for the dramatic effect. the fact that she had just called him pretty seemed so clearly mocking, poking fun at him as he had himself, but even with it he felt his cheeks heat with embarrassment. silently, he hoped it wasn’t noticeable, that her attention would be elsewhere — he’d never live it down, otherwise. “all i’m saying is the lack of offers for a new year’s kiss is a crime.”

despite the festivities, the restlessness was setting in for jae. staying still was difficult on a good day, but the more going on around him, the less he was able to focus on the events and activities around him. with one drink down, though, and another in his hand, it wasn’t exactly in a bad way at this point — he did feel a bit like he was buzzing, but it was more pleasant, if a little more dangerous as most of his ideas began to feel like good ones. 

moving through the deck with some ease, he slowed when he saw a familiar face, lifting his hand in greeting as he moved through the crowd towards jeonghwa. “i’d offer to get you a drink, but i think they’d judge if i tried for a third. how’s it going?” 

leaning down to speak more quietly given the amount of other idols and staff around, he raised a brow at his companion. “odds that we can steal a bottle without them noticing?”

box emptied, contents strung up along the railing at the bottom of second floor, and minjung’s presence gone from sight with a turn of his head, sung had come to drop off and restock. sung liked tinsel, for being shiny, but it always required so much cleaning that he wasn’t sure if it was worth it, unless there was a secret confetti cannon nearby he could use. he turned to an ornament box to give a guess at what -plastic- pieces might bring out the most holiday cheer.

then, out of the corner of his eye, sung saw jae doing… something… brows furrowed, sung set down his box with the other empty ones before heading over to his next temporary work companion. “what is it you’re doing there? i’m- um, i’m a bit confused.” the next tacked on words came as a flurry, “but i’d like to know more! i’m not saying it’s bad, just, um, yeah, what were you doing?”

@jaefmd​

he was absolutely sure that this wasn’t what the staff had intended. and he would fix it, once he had the satisfaction of knowing the tiny pictures he had hidden in some of the tinsel he strung had existed for any longer than for just him to see. it wasn’t even creative or particularly clever, just sheer boredom that drove him to make a game out of the decorating process to keep himself more engaged, better suited for b-roll footage for the cameras drifting around.

“not a single person wants to kiss me. can you believe it?” more a joke than anything else, jae had been kidding with others on the boat about new years kisses. he didn’t particularly care about the tradition, though he knew some took it seriously, if his sister was any measure to go by, and so the easiest way around it was to make fun. “am i really that annoying? i thought the looks would’ve balanced it out.” 

his mock outrage disappeared quickly, though, and he leaned against the ship’s railing, a crooked grin appearing as he looked down at his friend. “you gonna watch the fireworks or are you worn out?” 

jae knew his style in the kitchen didn’t fit everyone. he had a tendency to eyeball his measurements, add more when he felt like it needed something extra, didn’t usually follow recipes exactly, and he was really no different having to cook for the staff members. on the plus side, he knew it was mildly entertaining for the camera crew. but for some of the others, it seemed like it might be annoying. 

minah in particular seemed to be almost the exact opposite as he was. she was much more particular, which a part of him could respect. he understood wanting something done in a particular fashion. but it just wasn’t something he himself could do easily, with his attention split between a pot, the oven, and prepping for the next step. 

he could feel eyes on him and, frustrated, he looked over at the older woman, making a face with the wooden spoon in the air. “would you quit staring? i’m going to measure it.”