sun's out

“no, no its fine!“ minhee insist, waving his hands a bit dismissively. he learned over the years to make do with whatever information they gave him. sometimes it was more than he needed, sometimes it was barely crumbs. so he thinks joosung gave him more than enough to work with. maybe he should have listened to himself a bit and brought in a bigger stack, but most of the pictures were, like he said, were taken by him or in relationship to something he has done. “you know what, i like that, the theme being about memories.“ he used to have photo albums filled with printed out photos and polaroids, but maybe a scrap book would be a nice way to get him to think outside of the box.

listening to joosung speak about his nephew manages to make him smile, bright and wide. its cute, hearing people talk like that about their relatives in a way almost making minhee jealous “you know sounds like a professional, i have a lot  to learn from you.” he states before shuffling through his own pile of pictures, looking for something nice and easy to associate a theme to. he ends up picking a picture of the beach, a nice blue sea contrasting the golden sands. “so this, was from when he filmed spring day. i was actually, the most into photography back then and filming on the beach really just reminded me of back home. for a theme.. i guess things that remind me of home? more beach photos i probably have, starfishes, fish in general. ”

“wow. spring day is my favorite polaris song, did you know?” sung took his time looking over the photo before allowing full view of it to the camera. “that’s a really beautiful theme, in my opinion. for me, scrapbooks are all about memories and emotions, and whatever ties them together can be nothing, or the most intricate thing you can think of. sometimes, simplicity is best. home is one of those ideas that suits simplicity.”

there was a small range of responses yena might have anticipated. for sung to bark in respons, however wasn’t one of them. her eyes widened in surprise just a split second before she was caught off-guard by the ringing sound of her own laughter. “there there.” she patted sung’s shoulder at the display, rather unsure what else to say as her friend just adressed her not unlike how an excitable puppy would. 

“i don’t know.” yena shrugged lightly. “don’t get me wrong, props can be real cute and all of that but i swear, those things are a safety hazard. i face planted on stage, multiple times.” yena didn’t know what lingered more, the ugly smack to the floor or the humiliation that came with it. sure, the original looked a lot cooler but yena was glad it wasn’t brought back, especially not on such short notice as they had been given to repromote the song.

she nodded lightly, showing some sense of understanding for joosung’s words. “yeah, me too. it’s truly just a personal taste thing.” she should be a bit more careful in her word choice on camera, god forbid she’d accused of being a boygroup hater by the general public. she was. but that didn’t mean they had to know that. “maybe if it was a group like quantum i’d enjoy it. your music is so cool and chique.” she was playing it up a little for the camera’s. still it wasn’t entirely lied. it could be worse than quantum. it could be polaris.

“ahhh. flattery won’t work on me.” an objective lie. flattery did work on yena. very well. only second to bribery. she clapped her hands in delight at joosung’s suggestion. “yes! show me what you’ve been working on and i’ll let you know how well you’re doing so far.” she sure did enjoy getting to play critic. “be warned though! i’ll be super strict!”

“safety is really important in choreography. i’m not so sure many companies put a lot of thought into that, when the result is at the forefront of their minds. some struggle to see that you can create something unique and everyone safe.”

thinking that part of their conversation had passed, sung was caught off guard when yena turned it back around to quantum, and pulled out a chuckle from him. “really?” though he could technically be wrong, it really felt like mentioning quantum in this way was only her playing up the dimensions family angle for the cameras. given the assumption, he didn’t want to press too hard, but also didn’t want to lie, and settled on closing with, “we’d be so lucky.”

【✧】━━━━━ ♥ s h o e s    a e s t h e t i c ♥ ━━━━━【✧】

sung has had a really long and still ongoing journey with finding what fashion he himself likes, and one of the things he’s come to like are shoes. this is a visual representation of his preferred style, n per usual bc i do not know how to shut up, more info under cut

yena knew that if there was one person she could trust in wanting to do rollin’ and it’s choreo justice, it would be sung, a skilled dancer in his own right and someone who wouldn’t shy away from leaning into the song’s more traditionally feminine aspects. “there you go, good boy, i knew you’d get the memo.” she winked, giving him an encouraging pat on the shoulder. “not gonna lie, i kinda toyed with the idea of asking dimensions if we could make you do the proper original choreo, standing on top of the stools and all that but… it would be a little unfair no? considering as we don’t even do that ourselves anymore.” something yena was infinitely grateful for, she had nearly broken her neck plenty of times back when they originally released the song and with her blood alcohol levels averagely only having gotten higher, she doubted her balance had improved much.

“i think you would do a great job at being in a girl group.” the sentiment was genuine too, sung had the energy for it, both sensual and upbeat where need be. “the money is less good though, i warn you for that.” not that joosung wouldn’t be aware of that, plus as far as yena knew he seemed like the type of idealist that wouldn’t care about that. could never be her. “it’s commendable of you, you know? i could never say the same. god i’d be terrible at being in a boy group. i’d hate it too, one obnoxious edm song with a grating beatdrop and i’d walk right out the door again.” she linked her arm with joosung’s, resting her head on his shoulder. “you’ll do a great job. don’t worry too much yeah? at the very least, you have the very best teacher in the world!”

no thought behind those eyes, sung reacted on impulse, and mimicked a dog with an arf. “it’d have been fun for us to take on an extra challenge. i, personally, quite enjoy props if they’re used well.” he understood why coming back to the chairs wasn’t viable. already having attention towards the song meant gimmicks were only hazards, and it wasn’t as if the stools were integral. within sung’s personal opinion, he preferred when props were only used when they were necessary to tell the story, but sometimes, they could just be fun. the image of the quantum members swirling their hips on some chairs was funny enough as is.

high praise from his company’s current most senior group was enough to gloss over the sadness poking out from the monetary comment that sung was sure yena would prefer he not dwell over. they were very different people, at the end of the day, and whereas she might speak with a lightness there, he usually wouldn’t. “i don’t blame you. i tend to like girl groups on the whole more since the music suits my tastes better and stuff. though- you seem like you’d attract the kinds of fans that like seeing that boy group type stuff from girls.”

“okay but after i’ve actually watched it, i couldn’t tell if my sister was excited to talk about the drama itself or, as she phrased it, the really hot main actor,” she says with air quotations. she’s never been one to get engrossed in dramas or the actors themselves, but her sister was the exact opposite. jaein wants to blame it on her sister’s age, but she doesn’t think she acted like that when she was a university student either. well, different people, different reactions. “anyway, it was still nice,” she comments. 

she nods to joosung’s words though she can’t even remember the last movie she’s ever watched. overall, however, her thoughts remained the same with movies as well. “yeah, it’s why i don’t do well with movies that go over two and a half hours either. like those that last four hours? god, why do they do that?” she shakes her head at the thought before letting out a soft chuckle. “i think the last movie i watched on the plane was like aladdin. it’s the only decent thing they had available. that or some nature documentary which isn’t my thing either.”

habit, perhaps it was, pushed sung into a chuckling laughter. those who valued looks above all else were one of groups of people sung had the hardest time empathizing with. yet, he laughed nonetheless. if for nothing else, it made the conversation pass on with ease. he and jaein still barely knew one another at this point; he didn’t want to scare her off with his intimate feelings. “is she younger than you? i remember in school the other kids made a lot of those types of comments.”

“not really.” ash rolls his neck, suddenly aware of the shape tension that aches along the top of his spine. that was what he got for sneaking naps on his studio couch in the wee hours of the morning before schedules instead of sleeping through the night in his bed. what had been the point in splurging on the best mattress money had to offer in hopes it would do as it promised and improve his sleep, only for him not to spend any time in it?

mind finding its way back to the moment, bright studio lights and camera lenses pointed at him, he realizes he needs to expand more on his answer. “i wasn’t the type to focus too much on the future when i was a rookie, but now i’m the type who has a hard time always being in the present. that’s growing up, i guess.” he’s trying to work on not worrying so much over what’s to come and the mistakes of his past, but there’s no point in getting into that during such a meaningless interview.

joosung’s second follow-up question is harder, but there’s no time to agonize over it without requiring an awkward jump cut, so he uses the answer he’s able to adapt to anything. “i’m making music.”

of course ash had to respond to a rhetorical question, with a short answer like that, no less. there was no point in agreeing to any of this if he was going to waste everyone’s time. it felt as if he was putting in way more effort to make this experience an alright one than taeyong was.

more than angry, that thought send a ping of sadness into sung’s chest. inferiority was a strong drug, and yet, sung didn’t have the time to dwell on it.

between various charity events, donations, and your ambassadorship with community chest of korea, you seem to be participating in a lot of charity causes. is it important to you?

giving back to others is one of the foundations of my character. my parents raised me with the mindset that we should only hold onto what we need, and use excess to help those who could benefit more from it. when i was young, our family didn’t have excess to provide for others, and even then, they often offered meals to neighbors going through a more rough time than us. as my parents grew more successful, they made sure to stay true to their morals, so i plan to do the same. we must lead by example in this world

have your parents influenced the person you are that strongly?

absolutely! any compliment a person is able to give about who i am is a compliment to them before myself. i’m very blessed to have the parents i do

do you have plans for charity work in the future?

i’m always looking for new opportunities to lend a hand wherever i can, and i don’t plan on stopping. if the big issue has any charity events going on, please feel free to invite me

quantum is known as a revolving group, or “concept kings”. what do you think makes that your identity?

that’s interesting to think about; i don’t know if i ever have before. thinking about it now, it does make you wonder, what is it about us that’s different? most groups try on different concepts within their careers. i think it may be a mix of two things. first, our creative team is incredibly talented. from our debut, creating a strong concept was part of the goal for quantum, and that’s always on the forefront of my mind when i’m giving opinions or creating for us myself. however, i’m only able to give it my all because of the fans. they’re able to see the effort our staff and members put into taking each concept very seriously, and reward us with their kind words and nicknames

do you feel as a solo artist, your identity becomes separated from quantum?

i don’t think it’s possible for who i am to be separated from quantum, so any solo work can’t be either. without them, i would not be me. rather, in my solo music, i’d like to remind others of quantum; that’s a compliment to me. creating engaging concepts and working hard to show the fans my best is the same whether i’m alone or with four other members, so i think they’re very intertwined identities

what are your worries recently?

i’ve recently come to a decision that quite pains my heart. -well, i suppose the news would come out by the time this issue releases, but i’ve recently decided to end my run as the dj for sun’s goodnight. i’ve been working on this project for four years, so it’s very close to my heart, and aching to let go of. i imagine i’ll be extremely emotional when that time comes

on sun’s goodnight, you often discuss how important it is to express worries, even though it’s difficult. what do you think is the purpose of worries?

truth be told, duri liked both of quantum’s most recent songs, as he often checked in on what quantum was doing, truth be told. he really enjoyed both of them, though a song written easily probably fell more into what he likes the most, and most of his musical tastes, in a way. but, chained up was also a lot of fun too, truth be told. he giggled happily, “i hope the song is happy!” he said, his smile growing some more. 

“thank you! i hope to always create things that are like me! traffic light was a lot of fun, i really liked getting to do a bright concept, which tends to be outside what i usually do,” he says. he nodded his head, “i am! it’s going to come out next month, we’re just finishing up some stuff,” he said with a happy chuckle. he nodded his head, “yes! i wrote a bunch of the songs back in the sky lounge in niseko!”

“that is quite funny, isn’t it? you’re such a bright person, but most of your music really tugs at the heartstrings and stuff.” sung continued on, the content of his brain spilling out stream of consciousness, “though, that’s what music is for, to spill the parts of us we don’t often show in our daily lives. still, it must be nice to have a change of pace sometimes. sitting in your feelings may be therapeutic, but too much of it is tiring.”

she’s a little taken back by the quick hug but she reacts instinctively to return it. it barely lasts before they’re simply standing in front of one another again. “i decided on navillera because my sister pretty much begged me to watch it. i think she just needed someone to talk about it with?” there were a lot of things that jaeeun asked of her, and she would have never obliged if it wasn’t for the fact that she had one too many ten hour flights to get through. 

“it was nice.” she knows she barely sounds convincing to her own ears, but she never really knows how to talk about dramas. “i liked that it was shorter actually. i think i have difficulties sticking to like 20 episode dramas. even 16 troubles me sometimes,” she admits with a chuckle. “i liked that it wasn’t a typical romance drama. really had me feeling things in the heart sometimes.” it’s not like she had a great relationship with her own grandfather or anything, but the image of an old man trying to become a ballerino was just touching. “i probably wouldn’t have watched it without your recommendation so, again, thanks. you saved me from having to watch whatever the plane just had to offer.”

sung’s hand lifted, hesitated half curled above his heart, but instead of the cliche, he chose to raise his hand to his opposite shoulder and hang it there. “i’m so glad you were able to find some value in it.” rarely was he asked for recommendations, and even more rare were his recommendations taken on. of course, he was touched to have made an impact, no matter how small. “different tastes are alright, though. it really is its own niche, you know? it means all the more that you were willing to get through it based on my recommendation -and your sister’s.”

this was something minhee doesn’t think he has ever done, maybe not since before debut and honestly, it came as a breath of fresh air. “i think there is always a thing or two i could learn, you know? even if you think it’s not a huge thing to emphasize on.” he insist, smile already pulling on his lips. 

his attention is fully focused on joosung, practically ignoring the staff that were in the room with them, the camera as well. he had gotten awfully good to just be natural, to not break that fourth wall or whatever it was called unless he thought it was funny. or wanted to feel like he was in the office, either worked. “that sounds like a great plan, got any specific story already in mind?” minhee asks, curiosity always getting the better of him. at the question he gets asks, he nods patting a stack of photos on the table “i came as prepared as i could. it’s not a lot, but it’s something i guess.” he remembers his manager reminding him about it, giving him a good heads up about how he had to prepare this. to min did exactly that, picked as many as he deemed to be okay, some from his phone camera roll, some from the internet “you didn’t give me a theme, so i probably had way too much of a variety, but i made sure to at least keep them in a colour palette if that makes sense.”

“-that’s okay, i mean, i probably could have given more thorough directions.” contradictory, sung seemed, hypocritical even, on how much of a detail-oriented person he was. while he had some hobbies where perfection was the only possible outcome he’d accept, in his daily life, those thoughts didn’t easily occur. asking for pictures straight out, he’d have thought it was enough information, but faced with it now, could see gaps for those that weren’t like him. however, “variety is nice, though, i think. scrapbooks only need to be themed if that’s what you’re going for. maybe this first book’s theme can be about memories in general.”

moments of fragility, and tonight she feels like she’s pierced through the glass screen — fragments shattering at the point of contact, and her emotions fallen under a mirage of everything that’s dissipated with time.

it’s looking at the rippling reflection, her heart pounding in the clasp of her palm. each step, and each smile that feigns the whisk of wonder she holds on set. (in the end, she can’t fool her own reflection when she comes back to the bottles of dried up wine, and the stained burgundy glasses that lead her to too many hours of procuring no answer to the question that lies).

and now, when she’s forced to reckon with the reality that slaps itself across the air, rubbing her facade raw, she holds in her breath. balances her elbow on the table, palm in hand, head feeling heavier than the breath she’s holding in. till it all ends loose, and her eyes close. “the co-star’s his best friend, in case you didn’t know. they’re chummy chummy friends, best of friends. so much so that all i do is anticipate the day i dance onto set to lock eyes to the skeleton i’ve been avoiding all this time.” it’s resolute, acceptance. the wave of lightness that falls from her chest, bottled out, her tone humbled down to a murmur. 

“joosung, i admire your music advice so much to the point where i’m asking you for tokens of life lessons.” her eyes peel open slowly, a smile stretching out as wide as her heart allows. “it’s weird working together — but i think the weirdest part is having the expectation that his best friend will show up, even though that’s been long buried. how silly of my heart to hinge onto something that i swears itself off of, huh?”

a swollen heart hadn’t been a feature in his conversations with minjung in the past, for as far as he could recall. though he could blame it partially on the alcohol, he’d rather put all of it towards her words. if minjung were the type to like physical affection, he might have squeezed her hand to show his appreciation, but even drunk, they’d worked together long enough that he’d learned to withhold his affections in touch. instead, he flicked his thumb against forefinger like flipping a token up into the air.