WITH LOVE.

jeonghwa would argue that timid boy was scared from the second she approached him, so even if the humor in the prank for suji was about the boy, it wasn’t really due to the prank. she’d have thought suji would play up the scores for the camera, a three or four at least, yet suji’s honesty led her to matching the pout that came in front of her.

even with it, she couldn’t hold up when there was such a boopable nose right in front of her. boop. and the touch of skin to skin had her grin splitting once again. “how can i help it when you’ve got such a cute reaction to it every time?” to the camera, her brief explanation ensued. “see, suji and i have quite a history of meeting like this. i think at this point it’s a tradition we simply can’t rid of, buuut,” jeonghwa turned her face back towards suji, “i can promise i’ll greet you in a regular way more often from now on.” not wanting to hold herself back from conversation any longer, jeonghwa was hoping she could wrap up the filming and share her full strain of thoughts off camera. the best way to do so? well, not like she could hear suji’s thoughts, but hopefully the tonality of words would be enough. “what do you say, forgive-sies?” she asked, and tossed her free arm out for a half hug.

her eyes immediately scrunc up at the surprise boop that jeonghwa had given to her nose. followed by a chuckle, she looked straight at the camera before speaking up. “i think you’re the only one that would describe it as cute, jeonghwa,” she says with a look on her face that clearly says she doesn’t believe what the lucid member is telling her. she’s been captured more than enough times with a surprise look on her face and since it catches her off guard so much, she never ends up looking cute when it happens. 

headcanon 022: suji’s relationship with james seo aka a friends to never-lovers-gone-bad word count: 637 words ooc note: this dude’s about to pop up in some of her verifications so i wanted to write a hc to talk about him. if anybody sees similarities, yes this is basically a revamped jae turned into a npc lol shout out to kel for allowing me to butcher him and use him!!!

jeonghwa should probably be feeling badly for many things. to suji for scaring her, to this random dude for roping him into her troubles, or to the other people in the lobby who suddenly had to see someone jump on another’s back, and that first person scream -hopefully everyone the in the room recognized the both of them and didn’t think she was some weirdo.

well, maybe she was. maybe she should get a weirdo hat to never be seen without.

she didn’t feel all that terrible, though, because it was funny, and that made it okay. jeonghwa laughed from the second suji stopped screaming, continued as she got off her back, and finally started calming when she put suji’s bag on the woman’s shoulder, though not looped around her arm, so the action was a bit useless. the camera faced suji to get a bit more of her reaction, then turned back to the tail end of her laughter.

the poor, neglected trainee got the next of her attention, hand patting him on the shoulder and mouth thanking him for his service and sending him on his way. then, back to suji, jeonghwa slid up beside her, and vlogged the two of them together. “so, suji, on a scale of 1 to 10, how scared were you there for a second? on a scale of 1 to 10, how funny was it?”

it seems that every single time suji ends up meeting jeonghwa, it’s always with the other scaring her. it happened at the join halloween party, the cruise and the most recent fantasy concert that the two happened to be performing at together. while she appreciated the enthusiasm that came from the lucid member, she can’t deny that she would prefer if they met on more normal terms and by normal she means situations where her heartrate doesn’t jump up to 150 and more.

truth be told, jaewon was pretty new to allowing himself feel confident or good about anything he did, hence why it usually still went paired with a lingering sensation of guilt, the fear of being self-centered. while he would no doubt overthink it later and continue to feel bad about it some more, for now, jaewon let suji’s words assure him that not only he did a good job but also that he was allowed to actually believe so himself. “yeah- it’s- weird i guess? on the one hand i’m glad that it all went well and i brought it to a good end. on the other it’s, kinda too bad it’s over. i feel like i could’ve done like fifty more shows and not get tired of it.” he admitted. it was hard, exactly formulating his thoughts, on the one hand because he had never been particularly good at that and on the other because it all still find kind of unreal with the adrenline still thrumming in his veins but he was slowly but surely starting to piece it together.

usually, jaewon probably would’ve been overcome with the anxiety that perhaps, suji had something to pick apart after all but at this point, he felt plenty comfortable around the girl to not constantly anticipate the worst. “i think you have plenty of ground to speak on, you’re a good artist and you’ve performed plenty of concerts by now.” he protested. there were very few people jaewon would really listen to in terms of advice or constructive criticsm, suji was one of and the title was well earned. “well, whenever you do you better save me a ticket. i’m not risking missing out on that one.” he offered, a hint of enthusiasm behind his words. “you’ll have no one at least to shake up the setlist.” he joked, though he couldn’t disagree that so far, suji did have a lot of ballads to her name. “i think you could pull it off though, a concert full of ballads. you’re a great vocalist and very good at conveying emotion, you’d make it work.” he shrugged lightly. “are you working on some more non-ballad stuff or are you planning on sticking to your current sound?” that was just curiosity at this point, jaewon knew she could pull off either no doubt.

despite the rather short time that she’s been acquainted with jaewon, suji felt quite proud about the high’s that he was feeling post-concert. she looked upon him with a warm smile as he talked about the experience and how he felt like he could perform many more shows. that’s exactly how she feels with every fuse concert that occurs so she can’t imagine the rush of adrenaline that must come after finishing a show completely on his own. “maybe you should bribe dimensions or something. ask for an asia tour.” she realizes that it sounds very idealistic especially with how idol schedules were planned out so much in advance but with how much jaewon works for the team in many different aspects, she believes he should have some say in his career. 

in most other cases, at this point in a long practice, kiana was grateful for the break, laying down on the cool wood flooring, and already nose deep into her phone. off the high of praise from fuse’s subunit back-to-back promotions, all kiana could think of right then was doubling down in order to get the same positive attention for this next release.

suji’s voice beside her cut through her thoughts, abrupt and just that side of disappointing, considering she suddenly couldn’t remember what she was thinking in the first place. if that was the case, might as well take an actual break, then. “i don’t think our group choreography is usually all that complex, so i’m not sure if it’s a fair comparison.” she grabbed her bottle before sitting down a healthy distance out, and cupped the bottle between pulled up legs -relegated to something to hold rather than a container of hydration. “this choreography is a bit different than our usual, though. it feels a bit like it’s inspired by clubbing and rave styles. maybe it’s a response to the reception of monster and naughty?” though she tried to seem casual, kiana could feel her heart pounding harder at the thought of what the reception meant. “if it has the same, this could be the new normal.”

suji thinks it was a mistake on her part to really be talking about choreography with fuse’s main dancer. though she tries, she doubts ki could understand the struggles that she feels whenever it comes to learning choreography. of course, hands up doesn’t fall in the higher end of difficulty range when it comes to some of their other choreography, but she can’t deny that she can’t seem to pull the rhythm off as well as her other members. however, she still grits her teeth and tries the best she can because the last thing she wants to hear is someone accusing her of slacking off during group activities. that’s simply not true. 

baeksujis: happy seventh year anniversary to fuse and fusions. thank you for always being by our side and sending us so much unconditional love. hopefully we can continue to be a group that you can proudly say you’re a fan of! thank you so much, fusions ♡

Load more comments...

the one thing suji happens to realize as she holds up the fan support banner that she’d been given at jaewon’s concert is that gold star’s never mentioned word of a solo concert for her. for a moment, she wonders if they’re waiting for her to mention it herself or something. one thought leads to another, and she comes to the conclusion that it’s never been mentioned because she’s never actually thought about it herself. 

suji’s an avid lover of concerts. whether that means attending them or holding them as a member of fuse, she enjoys the burst of energy and the adrenaline rush that comes with concerts. the idea of people coming to see her and her group for two hours or more is such a fascinating concept that she still can’t seem to describe in words. she thinks that going to a concert requires a lot of money and energy so a lot of love must be involved. 

she takes her eyes off of jaewon on stage for a moment to take a look at the concert venue. there’s approximately two thousand people seated, and they’re all here to see jaewon. she wonders how that feels. sure, she’s felt it before as a member of fuse but what would it feel if she was holding one on her own? is it any different? would there even be a difference between fuse fans and suji fans? while a majority of the money spending fans come directly from her position in fuse, she thinks that there may be a few general people who come to see her just for her music. 

or maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

turning her eyes back to the stage, jaewon’s finished one of his ments and have gone back to performing. she watches him move, and she tries to focus but can’t help but try to imagine what her own concert would look like. most of her songs are ballads which means she probably won’t move around as much as he does. she thinks a lot of the work would have to be put into her outfits and stage designs so that people aren’t bored of hearing her just sit there and sing. 

maybe that’s a sign that she should try out more music. something more upbeat so that this hypothetical solo concert of her’s doesn’t bore people to death. 

as much as others may disagree, suji’s latest albums was a challenge for her. 

it all began on the wrong foot when gold star threw out a date to her that was creeping up all too fast. what she didn’t expect was having a little less than two months to wrap up song selection and recording and filming. the only thing that made it bearable was the fact that the company didn’t seem to have anything else for her to do so she could spend most of her time at home polishing up the songs that had eventually gotten confirmed. 

having creative freedom was great, of course, but it was also a lot of pressure. gold star had a little more hand on this mini than her last full album, and she was almost thankful for it. involvement meant giving her a basis to work with and adding her to add melodies or simply asking her to write lyrics because “that’s what you do best” as she’s heard from several company executives. as much as it pained her to say it, she actually agreed with what gold star had been telling her. 

she was also thankful because it led to her trying out more musical styles. nothing too drastically different but different enough for people to say that I’M may be one of the best finished products that suji had put out. what surprised her the most was the fan responses to her b-sides. she’d always been more proud of her side tracks rather than her titles, but this was the first time that almost all of them charted along with her title. 

the one track she knew would be surprising to all was better babe. it was a lot darker in mood compared to anything else she’d released before. even no one, while still having a light gloominess to it, was nothing when put up against better babe. while it was the only song not to chart, it also seemed like a fan favorite. 

i’d love to see her perform it at a concert one day!

can you imagine hearing this live? suji would blow the roof off

god, why didn’t gold star give her more songs like this before? her vocals are absolutely amazing 

to put it frankly, better babe was the one song suji was most worried about because it was so different. she thought people would feel it didn’t fit her usual vocal style as it did require her to change her singing technique to release that richness the song demanded. needless to say, she’s glad that gold star had given her the song for her mini. the only thing she contributed to the song were a few melodic lines, but her contribution didn’t really matter when so many people seemed to love it. 

baek suji aesthetic // fine stage outfits

some partake in music, some take in acting — some do both. it’s the trick of the trade when the company steers every little gesture, and everything in between.

his case has been simplified by bc, except as of lately. the distaste settling in the pit of his stomach, turning sour when everything feels like a backhanded slap against the face. still, there’s a level of professionalism when taejin takes grace with a dry chuckle, fingers roaming through his hair. “in actuality, those four lines often feel heavier than a main role since you have less to work with. less content for the public to judge you on, so i understand.” 

to say he hasn’t seen her would mean taejin’s lying. and in a situational pick like this, he wouldn’t need a reason to spill lies from his teeth or play into an understanding sunbae — so, he relays the truth when his mouth parts open, eyes brimming with the kudos, nice work look. 

“hospital playlist — i watched it.” taejin adds, directing his gaze towards her. “very good drama, really loved the storyline and not that it matters much, but i thought you did very good job for it only being four lines per episode.” the dry joke clings onto the silence, his chuckle hinging on to the end. “but if you’re asking me — standing on stage to promote seoul is more nervous than presenting a role on stage.”

suji’s aware that idol actors have always had a bad reputation, but she thinks it’s gotten a little better around the time that she made her acting debut. perhaps it was because of the minor role she took on and the image making that gold star did prior to her accepting it, but the negative feedback wasn’t unbearable. she also thinks that credit should be given to people like taejin who were one of the first to step into acting. he’s proven himself to be more than the idol label which has caused people to be a bit less critical. or so she thinks.

“most of my lines were medical terms too so i would always be scared of messing them up. it wasn’t easy trying to memorize lines about neurological surgery,” she says with a slight chuckle. her eyes grow wide when he mentions the project that she had appeared in. “thank you. that means a lot,” she adds and she genuinely means it. “i don’t think i’ll be doing another role but it was still a nice experience.” 

arm around a gangly teen’s shoulders, jeonghwa grinned at a vlog camera. “this is one of gold star’s acting division trainees i found wandering around here, and he’s going to help me prank one of his own. he’s a big fuse fan, so he’s going to have to really pull out his actor chops to be able to fool,” one handed, she attempted a drumroll on their table, soon followed by the boy, “baek suji!”

she briefed the camera on the plan and coached the boy through his parts, before suji came in at the exact moment she’d expected the woman. jeonghwa shoved the boy towards her, who then questioned if suji had stolen the bag she was wearing from where he’d left it in the lobby. as jeonghwa coached, he didn’t let the matter go. she gave a few peanut gallery comments on how well she thought he was doing, and how much she thought suji was buying the whole ordeal, until she’d decided the trouble had gone on too long.

quiet and undisturbed as could be, jeonghwa tiptoed behind suji, then, in a flurry of movements, grabbed the debated bag, hopped on suji’s back like piggy back riding, and weakly swung the bag like a lasso as she gave her best cowboy impression to yell out, “giddy up!”

@fmdxsuji

she’s walking out of a vocal practice room when she’s approached by some stranger. he looks young so she assumes he either works here or is training—perhaps she should make more of an effort to get to know her company trainees—and he looks nervous which makes her believe that he falls in the latter category. taking a look down at the bag in her hand, she’s puzzled at the questions he’s asking and simply shakes her head.

suji’s about to walk away when the next thing she knows, someone jumps on her back. she screams at the sudden weight and it takes her a moment to recognize the voice. her first question is what jeonghwa is doing in the gold star building and how she got in. her second is what she’s now doing on her back and what this whole ordeal was.

at this point, kim taejin’s overworked to the brim.

enough that the entrance of a hoobae still manages to keep him in his seat, save for the wave and the proper head nod in greeting. it’s all about patience and obedience — the faster he’s in, the faster he can make a direct beeline home.

only, the only two idols in the room are him and another, the newer generation of idols involved no where to be seen. 

fatigue still presses against his mind when he manages a small yawn, shielding the blip with the palm of his head, nodding once more. “hello — nice to see you again.” they’ve been around the same course of schedules when seoul rests as another brand marketing deal — still, no amount of time alleviates the weird strain of awkwardness he’s posed with. 

taejin shifts a bit in his seat, the silence already split in half when suji takes the reins. (a mental sigh of relief ensues, he doesn’t have to spend the next however many minutes eyes glued to phone). “never too late, not that you had mentioned it — but nonetheless, i appreciate the complement knowing my last role for a while has made some sort of mark.”

despite the time spent together with all the idols involved in this project, suji hadn’t been very emotionally invested enough to bother getting closer to any of them. while technically everything that she was ever put into was business first and foremost, this one felt the most disconnected to her personally. if someone were to ask her who all the idols participating were, she wouldn’t be able to list them all out so quickly. it’d require a moment or two. 

“can’t imagine having to carry a drama as the lead role.” it sounds like a weird place to continue to the conversation seeing that taejin’s much more of a veteran, and he’s probably had this conversation before with numerous other juniors. “i had one small role last year, and that was nerve-wracking even though i had maybe four lines every episode,” she admits. suji wonders if he knows which project she’s talking about seeing that hospital playlist did relatively well. however, her role was so minor that she would be more surprised if he did recognize her from it. that and the fact that he was probably busy with his own projects. nevertheless, she doesn’t elaborate further on what she did and who she was but just leaves it at that. 

aesthetic & playlist: musicals

suji is rather new in watching musicals. it’s not that she didn’t know the existence of them before, but she simply wasn’t interested enough to get out and watch one (she wouldn’t have known where to begin either). it’s not until a friend recently dragged her to watch a musical that she fell in love. she’s always felt that musicals were on another league because of everything that’s required, and she knows she’s nowhere near trained enough to star in one. however, in the future, if she ever gets the chance, she’d love to have a try at participating in one.

it’s different for sure.

those are suji’s first thoughts as she looks down at the outfit she’s put in for the their teaser pictures. she’s wearing an orange halter top—or she thinks this is a halter top—and jogger pants. nothing she’d ever wear on her own, but she could say that about a lot of outfits she’s been made to wear over the years as a member of fuse. the worst was probably zimzalabim when their stylists decided to get too creative and put a bag on her. an actually reformed bag. frankly, she didn’t know it herself until fans started telling her and she wonders if that’s a good thing or bad thing. good because that means fuse’s stylists do a nice job in reforming. bad because it was hideous either way. 

she’d say the hands up outfits fall somewhere between moderate and poor when it comes to what fuse has had to wear so far. it’s moderate because there’s nothing super uncomfortable about the outfit. the halter top isn’t super tight fitting, and the jogger pants are actually quite nice minus the sound they make when they rub against one another. the best part is that she can actually dance in these which is saying something with the history that some of her own members have had when it comes to their outfits. 

however, they lean to poor because it’s boring. she knows she’s beginning to sound hypocritical because she’s criticized the wildness of fuse’s outfits before, but she thinks that if gold star was trying to go for some girl crush concept—which hands up leans closer to in her opinion—then they could have gone with clothes that don’t make them look like every other girl crush trying group out there. perhaps that’s asking for too much, and she’s undermining the works their stylists have put into their outfits, but she thinks they could be better. but as long as she can dance, right? 

when she gets in front of the camera, it’s like she forgets how to pose for a moment. what kind of expression is she supposed to be putting on? how does girl crush even work? the confusion must be apparent because the photographer just tells her to stare at the camera and give her best stare. it takes a couple of shots, but she relaxes into the shot even though she’s still not sure if she’s doing this whole thing correctly. it doesn’t matter though because soon her shoot is over and she’s back on standby until the group shot later in the afternoon.

there’s no longer any type of suspense or surprise when gold star tells her of the brand deals that come her way. from jeju samdasoo to language learning textbooks, they’re all public friendly just like her music is. just like her whole image is. not that suji’s complaining because she’s gotten past that point in her career. sure, she was pretty annoyed at the beginning when all gold star ever wanted to do was milk the fact that she spoke english and was smart like any other seventh grader her age, but she gets it now. everybody needs some kind of cookie cutter image in this industry to survive. 

it’s what helps her get these deals at the end of the day. 

the filming for this one’s a little different. while suji has to admit that her favorite deal so far has been jeju samdasoo because of the free ride she gets to jeju island each time she has to film a commercial, she thinks db insurance is probably second on the list. for now. the jingle they have her sing may be cheesy, but she finds it catchy and it gets the point across. nothing viral worthy, but she likes to think that perhaps people will find insurance a little friendlier now. if that’s even possible. wasn’t that the whole purpose behind hiring her though? to make people trust their company more than the other insurance companies? 

what surprises her the most on set isn’t the simplicity and what looks like a low budget set but rather the bundle of balloons that is real. and it’s huge. she was certain it would be put in with cgi when she got the storyboard. the director tells her something along the lines of how the staff members spent about an hour trying to get it ready, and she believes him because she can’t count how many balloons there are. 

“make sure not to fly away, suji,” he says jokingly before ushering her in front of the camera. she’s aware that the actual scene with the bundle won’t be long, and she’s proven correct when she gets to spend maybe thirty minutes with it before the director tells her that they’ve got the shot. she begins to wonder how they’ll get rid of it, but her curiosity is answered when she starts hearing popping noises outside during their break.

suji doesn’t think this deal is something that every idol probably has on their mind when they debut. when they’re asked what kind of commercials they’d like to film, most answer beauty or soju or any kind of food. definitely not insurance. however, suji doesn’t mind this at all. her face and name get out there, and she thinks that a population of people who didn’t know who she was before may now remember her as the girl group member who sang that catchy jingle for the one insurance commercial. 

there was a moment of genuine confusion as suji held the flower out to him. not because the gesture was weird or uncomfortable in any way but simply because it took jaewon by surprise. “oh- thank you- that’s really nice of you.” the smile on his features small though nothing but genuine as he carefully accepted the gift, almost as if afraid to crush it in his hand if not handled with enough care. “thank you, i… have a good feeling about how it went?” jaewon shrugged. “it always feels kind of weird to say these things about yourself but, i did a good job i think, i’m happy with how things went.”

his smile widened some at her compliments. “i’m glad to hear you think so. not to discredit my fans but… i feel like i could’ve done just about anything on that stage and they’d still say it’s incredible. it’s nice to hear a more objective opinion, i don’t doubt you would’ve hesitated to tell me had i messed up.” jaewon appreciated suji’s expertise and knowledge when it came to music and he felt confident in the fact she would dish out criticsm where needed, criticism he would take to heart if came to be. “so? next time at your solo concert? has gold star gotten onto that already because if not they’ll hear from me.” he joked.

there’s a brief moment after she hands over the flower where suji wonders if she’s made a mistake. however, upon seeing the smile that blooms on his face, she lets out a sigh of relief before sporting a similar grin on her own. “i don’t think it’s weird at all. the best feeling after a concert is coming out of it knowing that you did well,” she says in reassurance. as someone who’s always enjoyed concerts more than anything, she understood what he was feeling. of course, she wouldn’t know the exact feeling since she’s never done one on her own, but she’d like to imagine that one day she can experience the thrill of it all. 

when she arrives, she’s surprised to see she’s early. walking in, she bows her head towards the direction of her senior who’s already present. it’s not surprising since it is being held at his company, but she’s come to assume that seniors will naturally just arrive later. that was the norm when it came to her variety show appearances. “hello,” she says out of respect and because she deems it necessary in the situation. suji would like to continue the conversation, but the only thing she can come up with is his last drama which ended way earlier in the year. “i know it’s a little late, but i really enjoyed the producers.” she ends up mentioning it anyway because she believes it’s better than pure silence.