words go here

anyone else relate

I wanted to ask for X and accidentally called someone a whore

suffering

hissing growling scratching you etc etc

And of course pomoć (help) vs pomoč (ordering you to piss on something)

przepraszam w CZYM ta restauracja????

It took my aunts a bit to remember that it means something different in Polish. 😅

Czech - I’m fucking this thing.

More info on the LARP (4th of July) here. (You can join this year's, there are still spots left.)

My mom was completely right when she told me “you’re just playing Hickory Grove Campground” (a “campground” where people tend to live there the whole season, and that feels much more like a seasonal trailer park than a campground). I wasn’t down to go with her suggestion of simply coming home and going there instead, but she was right. They did a DAMN GOOD JOB, and I’m sad that I won’t get to go back to Pristine Park again (unless they eventually change their minds, and/or take me up on my “please let me run this in Actual Ohio™” fantasy idea).

Starting a collection

“Mama! Are you telling me math works In Real Life? Think of all the things you could measure!!”

I was looking at sex toys on aliexpress (like you do) and it suggested I get a 45cm (17″) Black Tourmaline Hexagonal Obelisk. I don’t think that’s a good idea

FINALLY, WE CAN TENTACLIZE THE CLOUDS THEMSELVES! 

and now I found the “realistic torture/execution devices for dolls” section. 

This results in a LOT of abused food, which is always hilarious. 

that’s not what I was searching for and frankly at this point I can’t really remember what I was searching for 

oh baby, slide into my chrysanthemum for some novel gameplay!

they always end up looking like a r/wheredidthesodago commercial for lesbianism

wait, a flower? do… do flowers make sounds? 

THE WRENCH! 

now that is a fucking slogan

one of my favorite things is that when they’re showing off that sex toys have a bluetooth+internet thing so people can control them remotely, they always show a world map and two points labeled with city names and they’re ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THE ACTUAL CITIES. 

sex toy or vulcan starship? 

OH MEHR SPIELMÖGLICHKEITEN! 

this will give you the biggest orgasm of your life, but your mother will die. Oh well, there’s other parents.

In the quiet night all you can hear is your rapid breathing

I’m not sure anyone of any gender really wants scissors near their genitals, so this may not be the best design

sometimes all I can say is “what”

is this vaporwave?

I don’t think that’s how that works

your strawberries will never be safe

finally, the first robot that can eat a flan! 

(Unlike all those terrible dildos that don’t work in the living room or kitchen)

finally the first sex toy designed specifically for wizards! 

Winning?

i wanted to make something a little horny. disco boy was confident at first, but when Kim reached back in response, he got flustered as hell. Electrochemistry is in shock

Elite fashionista Bee coming in with simply the prettiest of flowers and most radiant of auras! And coming in too with good deals, now for only $39.48!

disco doodles

you take a live cockroach, do cockroach surgery to strap a microchip to it, and then you can remote control it by moving its muscles. They sell DIY science kits for kids where you can implant your very own cockroach for $200 on Amazon. Or if you need a professional grade cockroach (apparently theyre great for search and rescue), theres a research lab that can mass produce them on an assembly line. You can even 3D print it a little diving suit so it doesnt drown if you pilot it through a puddle.

Give me jelly beans you fuck head

Lemme get a little sippy

saw this post & blacked out for 30 minutes & came back to awareness having had created this. the creative urge overtook me.