runaway train

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: “Black Lives Matter is doing something really important.”

Nigerian novelist and short story writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is sharing her thoughts on the striking difference between how Black people are seen in Nigeria and America and the importance of the Black Lives Matter movement on Channel 4 News.

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Learn what it means to be asexual.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that means a person feels no sexual attraction to people of any gender. However, a person who identifies as asexual can still choose to have sex, can still love, can still be involved with a romantic partner or get married, and can still engage in normal relationships.

Asexuality doesn’t describe what a person chooses to do, but rather how a person feels. Asexual people have emotional needs, feel attraction to others, and can even feel arousal: they just don’t feel sexual attraction.

Many asexual people still identify as lesbian, gay, straight, bisexual, or pansexual (attracted to people of any gender or sexual orientation) as well.

Asexuality is not the same as having a low libido, which can be caused by medical or health issues, nor is it the same as repressing one’s sexual desires.

Understand the asexuality umbrella.

As with any sexual orientation, the label asexual is a generalization that doesn’t explain or represent everyone who identifies that way. All humans are unique and individual, and sexual orientation exists on a spectrum of needs, desires, interests, and attractions. Think of asexuality as an umbrella term that describes people who identify as asexual, gray-asexual, and demisexual.

Gray-asexual means that a person experiences sexual attraction, but either not very often or only to a minimal extent.

Demisexual describes a person who only feels sexual attraction to people with whom a close emotional bond has been formed.

Differentiate asexuality from abstinence and celibacy.

Abstinence is the deliberate choice to refrain from sexual activity, while celibacy is the deliberate choice to refrain from sexual activity and marriage (or marriage-like relationships). These choices may be made for religious, philosophical, moral, or other reasons. Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, but not necessarily a lack of sexual appetite (libido). This means asexual people can be:

Abstinent or celibate.

Sexually active through masturbation.

Sexually active with partners.

Learn what asexuality isn’t. Asexuality is a sexual orientation that’s distinct from heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality, and other orientations. However, asexuality also has nothing to do with biological sex, gender identity, or gender expression. And being asexual doesn’t mean you are aromantic, which means a person feels no romantic attraction to others.

Dating an Asexual Person

Recognize that there are different types of relationships.

Just as there are friendships, mother-daughter relationships, father-son relationships, and innumerable other types of platonic (non-sensual) relationships, so too are there many types of romantic relationships aside from just sexual romantic relationships. Dating an asexual person may open your eyes to new types of relationships, which could include:

Romantic non-sexual relationships, which often involve physical affection, cuddling, and commitment.

Aromantic non-sexual relationships, which involve a deep commitment to one another. While these relationships can include physical affection, there is no sexual or romantic element.

Communicate openly.

Regardless of the circumstances, dating is always about getting to know someone better, and dating someone who identifies as asexual is no different. The key to any relationship is free and open communication. It’s important to discuss personal boundaries early in any relationship, so that partners know what is acceptable, what’s unacceptable, and what is and isn’t expected of each other. If you are unsure of something, it’s always best to just ask!

It’s important not to be offended if someone you’re dating comes out to you as asexual. It’s not an excuse and it’s not an attempt to get out of the relationship. That person is just trying to be honest and open.

Understand that an asexual person can be intimate.

Asexual people often partake in romantic partnerships or relationships, but whether a person is open to physical or sexual intimacy depends on the individual. But dating doesn’t necessarily require physical or sexual interaction, and two people can develop a strong emotional or romantic relationship with or without a sexual element: intimacy is much more than just physical touching or sexual activity.

An asexual partner may or may not be open to sexual activity, so it’s important to communicate so that everyone involved is on the same page. Feeling sexual pleasure is different from feeling sexual attraction, and some asexual people can enjoy sex.

Conversely, some asexual people are not interested in sex at all, and will not be open to exploring a sexual relationship.

And to finish this, some myths:

Asexual people can’t fall in love.

Many asexuals can feel the full range of romantic emotions, from a slight crush to true love.  It’s just devoid of a sexual component.  Asexuals are not limited to platonic love, either.  When an ace feels love, it can be every bit as complex and deep as the romantic love that anyone else feels.

There is a concept of romantic (or affectional) orientation, which describes who a person is romantically attracted to.  Romantic orientation is separate from sexual orientation, although in many people, their romantic and sexual orientations do happen to coincide.  Common romantic orientations include heteroromantic (romantic attraction toward the opposite gender), homoromantic (romantic attraction toward the same gender), bi/panromantic (romantic attraction toward both/all genders), and aromantic (romantic attraction toward no gender).

Asexual people don’t/can’t have sex.

Most asexual people can have sex, and some of them do. Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, not a lack of sexual ability.  Asexuals are physically and physiologically indistinguishable from other people, in other words, in most cases, the equipment is all there and in working order.  If an asexual person is incapable of having sex, it is usually due to some other condition, and not necessarily related to their asexuality.

So, I guess everyone has their own conclusions now as if Jughead can or can’t be in a relationship, can or can’t fall in love, can or can’t have sex. It’s pretty clear to all of us that this is different from the comics so as all the characters Jughead most likely won’t be exactly alike, that doesn’t mean Jughead is or is not asexual or won’t be in a near future.

Viola Davis won her FIFTH Screen Actors Guild Award for supporting actress Sunday night. After the show she was asked whether the increase in Black actors and actresses nominated for Academy Awards was a response to last year’s #OscarsSoWhite backlash. 

I guess this question is offensive itself as it doubts talent of Black actors in general. 

All the links from the White House website are gone, but the Affordable Care Act is still in effect, and you can sign up for health insurance until January 31.

Trump and his cronies may want to kill it, but that takes time (especially now that key players are waffling and the insurance industry have noticed that it will rain chaos down upon them). So sign yourself up. Get in a free checkup, a round of antibiotics, a birth control implant, while you have the chance.

If anyone needs help applying, ping me.

We went to the Women’s March on Washington to ask our fellow marchers what they had to say to Donald Trump and what brought them into the streets today. Over the next couple of days we’ll be posting some of their stories. Here’s one woman who’s a first generation American who says she feels devastated to think that her parents would not be welcomed into our country today.

That is not how ratings work. Unless you have a Nielsen box, your television doesn’t count in ratings.