Can You Fucking Not

rah rah rasputin something something sour cream

He was a cat that smoked a whole bong

“I am not excluded from ‘fuck ‘‘em’ when relevant” is surprisingly powerful as both a statement and philosophy

OK, fine, the Brits can take this one W for once.

one of my favorite human quirks is when the power goes out and you’re w other ppl and inevitably someone says ‘did the power go out?’ like…you’re all sitting there in the dead dark, tv black, wifi gone, lights OUT but still they’re like ‘hm. well I have a theory but it needs to be submitted for peer-review’

Me, sitting in my dark room after everything short-circuited: Hm. I can’t be certain, but I don’t think this is how it was a moment ago

a lady in the streets but asleep in the bed

why don’t you read a poem about the sunrise written 5 centuries ago and contemplate the fact that we have been writing about the same sun for centuries upon centuries and then maybe you’ll calm down

i didn’t mean to be ugly, it just sorta happened