(ง'̀-'́)ง

Time: 9:25PM

Now a little more than what she would normally constitute a night as ‘tipsy,’ Ivy Sloane went for a walk outside to sober up, away from the chaos indoors, thumping music, and looming eyes from those she did--and didn’t--know. She could’ve sworn she was walking straight, but on her way towards the door she walked diagonally right into a young woman’s boobs. That was the thing about being short.. oh wait, they were about the same height. Oh, Ivy’s eyes were focused downward. That made sense. She raised her head and smiled up at the girl. She was cute, a little shocked, and though her eyes seemed kind there was something behind them that promised a little bit of danger to come. Perhaps she was disturbed.

Eh, why the hell not. 

Ivy smiled lacklusteredly, unable to take her eyes off the young woman. She almost looked familiar, but was unable to figure it out, so she quickly shook her head and opened her mouth. “I’m Ivy and I’m sick of this crowd. I was born here which means I should know everyone in Lethe, no? But I don’t know you,” she pointed her finger at the young blonde, almost tantalizingly. “Wanna go on an adventure?” 

Of course, Ivy in a sober state would never walk up to strangers. Delilah, maybe, but Ivy kept her guard up. Ivy was the good daughter. Ivy was the responsible ‘motherly’ figure, keeping her siblings safe and fed and watched them do their homework. But the kids were at home, Spencer was god-knows-where, and Ivy wanted a little time for fun. What harm could come from two young women in Lethe? 

Delilah took the kids home around ten thirty, so Spencer and Ivy could have the late night to themselves. They were too tired to continue ice skating so they just walked around, pondering the vendors and getting food here and there. Ivy held a hot cocoa in her mitten-clad hands, huddled next to her big brother as whispers started around her. After a moment, she turned to look at those around her, and looked up to where their eyes were pointed. Fiona... Fiona. Oh, God.

“I’ve been a parent without access to their children for over twenty years, I don’t think I’m ever gonna stop being worried even if they’re okay now. It’s just sort of my wiring. I figured as much. It’s awful to hear, because I hoped they had found something good, but I can’t change the past, only affect the future in a positive way, if I can” Jack replied nodding his head. It hurt him knowing they had been through so much, but he knew he couldn’t fix the past, because he couldn’t fix his own, but he wanted to help in the areas he could. “ I guess it’s part of why were all here on some level. It isn’t my place to ask about your own life, but I am sorry for what you’ve been through.” If Ivy wanted to talk to him about her own life, he was open to hearing it, but he was not the type to push. She was a sweet young woman, she deserved god things. “Yeah they are. I look at Damien and see a lot of Bridget. I see a lot of myself in Peter. “ Jack replied before being nearly choked up with the thing’s Ivy was saying. She didn’t have to, but it was really kind of her and it made the werewolf give her a soft smile in response. “Ivy that is really kind of you to say. I haven’t been able to be a parent in a long time and I want to make up for lost time.  I really want to be a good dad. I’ll be here and I am willing to wait for him. Whatever it takes” 

“Oh wow” Jack replied slightly surprised once he realized his sons were old enough that he could end up a grandparent in a couple years. He was a little surprised by that and didn’t know how to wrap his head around that one. “ That would be great for Damien though. I think  I may have just realized my age again and had a slight panic attack.  I don’t care how much time it is, but I would love some time to get to know them again. To try to give them something they didn’t have before if they wanted. “ Jack nodded. He knew also this would allow him to stop living in the past, but he wasn’t thinking about himself. He was always focused on them, even when they were gone. “ I know he is. Milo filled me in on a lot of stuff and he’s amazing. He’s a smart kid and I know he’ll do amazing things. By the way, I’m rooting for you two. “ 

She smiled at Jack, that he saw himself in Peter and his late wife in Damien. It was good to hear these things, to have it reinforced. The boys should be hearing this, and she opened her mouth to say so when Jack continued talking. Instead, she smiled again. “You three deserve to live happily together, for some time at least. Even if Peter is being a jackass. I guess you can utilize your time with Damien for the time being. He’s not... terrible.” She shrugged her shoulders and chuckled. She had never been close with that doofus. 

When Jack said he wanted Ivy and Peter to be happy together, she immediately dropped her gaze, as if in embarrassment. It was embarrassing because this was the dad of the boy she loved. And she knew Peter better than Jack did. It was a weird relationship, dynamic, whatever. “Thanks, Jack. Really. I’m rooting for you two, as well.” That was the whole reason they had their break or whatever, but she didn’t want Jack to know that, either. It was weird, keeping all these secrets from him. She felt like she owed him something. “Um. The reason I’m so hellbent on you two making up is because my parents were taken from me too soon. They died a long time ago. And I just feel like Peter’s taking you for granted, and we disagree about you and that was a fight we got into, its not important, but that’s why I feel so strongly about... fathers. Mine was taken from me. And uh, if I got a second chance, I know I’d jump at it. But I get it. I had a relationship with my dad, Peter didn’t. It’s like apples and oranges.” Her voice faded out at the end, not knowing how to end her sentiment eloquently. 

Milo laughed. “You can’t drink? What the fuck? I had no idea. When the fuck do you turn 21? I’ll take you out to celebrate, buy you a beer.” He laughed and took the cupcake, shaking his head. “You’re a good egg, Ivy.” He arched an eyebrow at her and then at the cupcake. He wasn’t sure he actually believed in shit like birthday wishes (he was pretty sure he didn’t), but something in his brain still somehow gave it power, like a chain letter. Guilt gnawed at him for the only thing he could think of- not to be left by his two closest people in the entire world- and went ahead and blew out the candle. “Alright, kid, I’ve got enough of a dad-bod so you’re sharing with me. By the way, I would be a trainwreck of a dad. Genuinely. Trainwreck.” A part of him had always liked the idea anyway, but he knew he wasn’t in the shape for it, that he’d do more harm than good.

“January, dipshit,” she mumbled under her breath. “Okay fine, let’s go borrow a knife from Forest.” She smiled and they walked over there together. She split the cupcake down the middle, with one half obviously bigger than the other (she gave Milo the larger one, of course). “I’m not sure if I believe that, Father Adkins. You’ve got a good heart. That’s important when it comes to dads. You’re patient and have open ears. If you’re half as nice to your kid as you are to Peter and me... then they’re well off...” She knew it was all a hypothetical, but it was something to think about. She didn’t even think about his sexuality coming into play, just the possibility of his child. She stuffed half of the cupcake in her mouth, smiled, put the knife in the sink and sauntered back to Milo’s station.

Peter stared at her, wanting to tell her that it didn’t exactly work out well in Friends. But she had covered that, hadn’t she? And it wasn’t like he wanted anyone else in the least. “Months?” he croaked, surprised at the sound of his own voice. He hadn’t meant to say that, but it was out and all he could do was shake his head slowly as if he could shake it away. But he couldn’. “Okay. A break. But… Ivy, what if I don’t? What if he and I never have a normal relationship, or any real relationship? Then what?”

“It doesn’t have to be normal, just communication of any sort. We’ll... we’ll reconvene.... Valentine’s day. That a good goal?” she asked, nodding her head. “You think that’s enough time to get over the slump? I think it is. If you can’t make any progress, then maybe we’ll break up, maybe we’ll just go on another break, I can’t say. But that’s a good goal I think. Something to look forward to, a deadline if you will.” Ivy was good with deadlines, with things needing due dates, and working backwards from there. “Listen, Peter. You don’t have to be best friends by then. That is not what I’m asking. I just want you to take a chance on him and hear him out. It’s simple enough, right? You can do that, right?” She put her hands on his shoulders and nodded encouragingly, though her eyes conveyed she knew it would be hard for him, knew the weight it would bear. “He’s just a man. He doesn’t have to be your dad, but can you show him a common courtesy of getting to know him?”

The house was empty, neat, and surprisingly tidy (for housing five) as they sat at the L-shaped couch, facing each other on opposite ends with the coffee table between them. “God, my brother would kill me if he found out I was conducting interviews. I just... see, I just broke up with my boyfriend so you’d think I’d have more time for the kids, but Delilah has cheer practice and we don’t trust Jude yet to watch the kids, Spence has two jobs... its just a total mess around here. Sorry for the spiel its just... Spencer is very prideful. He doesn’t like to outsource help, and I’m not sure if we can afford it but... what the hell. Would you be willing to work as-needed or are you looking for steady work? Cause steady I’m not sure we can do, our schedules are... ever-changing.” 

“I’m aware. Apparently my parenting skills involve letting Rowan get away with everything, but you’d do it too if she did that sad eyes thing she pulls on me” Spencer replied knowing it was obvious he pretty much did everything his little sister wanted. He honestly just wanted his siblings to have a good life and that meant everyone. Ivy may have been his partner in crime, but he was also trying to make sure she’d always be happy no matter what. “Oh I see. I’m suddenly the one with all the money” He joked before paying for the rabbit. He was kidding, considering he’d pay for anything if it meant making someone smile. It was why he worked two jobs. 

“ Probably the AC. Those little guys can overheat really easy and not gonna lie the window tinting on the car is suspicious on a good day” Spencer replied. Maybe he needed to get that looked at. 

“Okay big bro, but I’m not putting it on my lap where it can pee on me. It’s going on the floor,” she laughed, picking up the cardboard box. “Uh oh, there’s a few hundred more dollars that can’t go to Rowan. What ever will you do?” she asked playfully, bumping hips with him as they walked to the car. She put the rabbit on the floor then put her feet on either side as she sat down. “Let’s go home and get this monster ready. Rowan will be home in two hours, and we still have a lot of cleaning and prep to do. Ride like the wind, bullseye!”

“I’m glad hes somewhere safe though. I would hate to know he’s putting himself in dangerous situations” Jack replied nodding his head. It sucked that he couldn’t connect with his son and that son was avoiding him, but he wanted Peter to be happy no matter what and perhaps removing himself from a lot of the situation my be the way to do it. It wasn’t’ what he wanted but he’d do anything for his sons, even if he hadn’t known them long again. “Me? Cool? Not anymore. I used to be pretty cool when I was your age” He joked trying not to think about himself too much. He didn’t like talking about himself at all. “ I don’t know if loss is necessarily a competition. We’ve all lost something or someone haven’t we? It’s what we do with the loss that matters and to open our hearts to make sure the loss isn’t there forever” He believed his words even if he was in love with a ghost. The only family he had were his sons and the found family he had with Milo and Forest. It wasn’t a lot, but it was what he opened his heart to and it made the pain of everything he went through hurt less over time. “I know he is. There’s a sweetness in him that reminds me of his mother. He may not have been raised by either of us, but I see her in both of them. “ He paused for a moment before glancing back at Ivy, knowing it was okay to be honest with her. “I was taken from my parents when I was younger. Put with my grandmother and she was amazing. If I had been put back with them, I may have had his reaction if everything changed. They weren’t good people though so I guess my reaction is warranted. I’m not perfect, but I want to try and be there whenever I can. I lost over twenty years. I don’t know how much more time I can afford to waste. “

Jack was quiet again at hearing Ivy admit Peter had been in bad homes. That hurt him more than anything. He was out there, hoping they were being given the opportunities he couldn’t have but it turned out they had been through something. Jack never wanted that for his kids. He wanted to find them before it had come to that. “I wish I had found them sooner. I wish I could have prevented that. I would love to make a home. I would love to have a place people are happy to go to not trying to get away from” Jack nodded feeling a little sad again at the situation. Had he really gone and screwed up the foundation of his sons life? “I’m already in his place, I’m not gonna take his bed. Besides, maybe I’m just getting old” He joked. He was in his forties but was in good shape even if a couch did get annoying after a while. “Once things, if they ever, calm down, I’ll bring it up.  I don’t want to pile too much, but I’d love it if we’d get even a little bit of time all together.”

“Peter isn’t stupid, I don’t think you need to worry about his safety. I mean sure you did before, when he could be anywhere on the planet, but now that you know he’s in Lethe...He knows what is safe and what isn’t, he’s had lots of experience with the latter. But it isn’t my place to tell you that. Sorry.” She shuffled her feet and lifted her shoulders, exhaling slowly to release tension. “Yeah, loss is pretty universal. Especially ‘round these parts.” She knew many people in town had been through trauma, but again it wasn’t her place to share other people’s issues. Ivy then listened to Jack go on about Peter’s mother--she didn’t know her name, but suspected it began with a B. “Genetics are funny that way,” she smiled, and thought of Rowan and how much she looked like their mother, and how Jude’s mannerisms were so similar to their father despite him being so young when they’d died. The thought made her sad enough to frown, but it wasn’t purely bad. “Jack, you are there whenever you can. Your’e a great dad. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, especially Peter. I’m with Damien on this one. You deserve the utmost happiness with your sons. And I do believe Peter will eventually come around. Maybe... maybe years from now. But he’ll open up. He’s just afraid, afraid of being hurt. And that is understandable.” 

She nodded her head. “I have every anticipation you will make a home for your boys. Maybe Damien will finally marry Nora,”--or Peter and I will move out or something, but she didn’t say that--“But some time together, a year or more together, just you three... God I wish for it every day. You all deserve it. Like the fuckin’ Brady Bunch.” She finally grinned at the older man. “I’d steal his bed but that’s just me,” she muttered under her breath, looking away. “Me too. That is all I want for you guys. Again, I’m sorry for Peter. I promise you he’s an outstanding guy. I... I still love him. And I know you do too but there is reason to love him over just him being your son. He’s fantastic, okay?”

Peter pulled back abruptly as if she’d hit him, staring with a slack jaw. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. He shook his head once, twice, unable to breath or speak or think. “Ivy-” He bit down on his lip and shook his head. “I-I-I- I don’t understand. Are… Are you breaking up with me?” He stared at her, determined not to cry, not to beg, even though he wanted to. He wanted to fall on his knees, tell her not to leave him when he felt more alone than he had since coming to Lethe. He wanted to tell her that his life had finally been manageable, good, and he couldn’t lose all of that. His brother’s life was coming together while his was falling apart and his should be good too and he already felt ungrateful and unworthy and he didn’t need more fucking punishment. But he wasn’t going to do any of that because he had come too far over the last year.

She bit her own lip, afraid to look up at him. “Peter,” her voice cracked with emotion, wanting to hold him close. It wasn’t fair, she was doing this to herself, to him, and she didn’t even want it. “Not a break up. A break. Like a pause. Just for a few weeks or months or... whatever.” Her gaze still hadn’t met his. “You seen Friends? Ross and Rachel were on a break, and Ross went and slept with someone... that’s a red flag. That’s a Do Not Do. If you sleep with someone, Peter... then yes, its over. But if we give each other space then we might be able to pick up right where we left off when you forgive your dad.”

Milo laughed and crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head. “You’d miss me if you hurt me, Ivy. But thank you, by the way. Those werewolf genes help quite a bit.” He liked Ivy and Peter too. He had been one of the many, he was sure, that was glad to see them finally stop dancing around each other and just date. 

“Oh, shit you did?” He stared at her, jaw slackening in surprise. “Fuck, I’m sorry to hear that.” For both of them. He couldn’t help but worry about Jack’s youngest. “You know I’m team Jack too but… It’s hard, coming from someone who grew up without parents. And I know it’s different because mine left on purpose on Jack didn’t. But… I wouldn’t know where to start with my mom. I don’t know her. I don’t remember her at all.” He hesitated and then lifted a hand, quickly adding, “I’m not, in any way shape or form, telling you what to do or that he’s right. I don’t know what was said, I’m not in your relationship or your shoes. And I do understand your frustration. I want, more than anything, for Jack to get to be the dad he was born to be. seriously, he is a walking dad, it’s crazy. I just… Fuck, kid, I’m sorry. If I wasn’t at my place of work, I’d offer you a beer or something.”

“Just waking up is fucking trying!” Peter finally half-shouted. “I don’t know what you want from me! I don’t have anything left to give him! I don’t know him! He is someone plucked off the street, put in front of me, and is just labeled dad. Faolan is the closest thing I have ever known aside from Damien! It’s not- It isn’t like you! You knew your parents, of course, it’s simple for you! The only “parents” I ever known have fucking hit me! So forgive me if I’m not particularly stoked for a new one. And do not tell me he is a good man because what are you even basing that off of? They all seem good, Ivy! They all do until they’re not! Maybe I’m being a shit but yelling at me and making me feel worse than I do isn’t going to fucking change a goddamn thing because whether you believe it or not, or if Damien does, or if Jack does, it isn’t that fucking goddamn easy!” His voice raised on the last three words and it, surprisingly, didn’t shake. It almost shocked him himself, but he didn’t move, wouldn’t let himself show surprise or back down. “I just- I need someone to tell me that I’m goddamn valid. I need to not be alone during a time when I feel like I am losing everything.”

“Peter, I--” she looked down at her feet. She wasn’t trying to make him feel worse, she just wanted him to see it from her perspective. She knew he had a point about getting hit. She was sympathetic towards that, but she couldn’t see Jack doing that. And she wasn’t one to apologize. “You could really gain something from having Jack on your side, Peter. And you might need it because... because I need a break. From you.” Her gaze wavered as she bit her lip, a frown deepening. “Until you can look at him, until you can be in the same room without pissing yourself, I... You’re not even trying, Peter.” That word was a rasp, almost a sob. “You know how important family is to me and I can’t see you waste yours. I can’t be affiliated with that. I can’t be in your corner cheering you on, knowing you’re giving up your one chance at your real father.” She looked away from him. “I can’t be that person for you. And I’m sorry.”

Peter stared at her in a twisted look that was close to disbelief but not quite, not when he actually could believe it, when this had been building and coming for weeks as much as he hated it. “He’s been here for a month! If that! Let him be my dad? I don’t fucking know him, Ivy!” He stared at her, stared at the tears in her eyes and wanted so badly to comfort her even though he didn’t know where to begin. “End of discussion? Fuck that! Not trying? Not fucking trying? Are you kidding me? I’ve been trying! You think I like this? I know that I should be happy about this! I know that I’m-” Selfish. Wrong. Bad. Deserve to lose everything. “I feel it every fucking day, Ivy,” he said, fighting his own emotions as he pressed his forefinger and middle fingers to his temple as if to display that it was his own brain working against him. “I’m not going there. I refuse to be around there more than I have to and to have another person fucking guilt me for something I already feel pretty goddamn terrible about. I know I don’t say it often to anyone, especially you, but I’m fucking saying it now. No. No, Ivy. I’m standing my ground and I’m not doing it.” He had no control over his life right now, he had no control over Jack or his living situation or his relationships spiraling. But he could say no and he was goddamn going to.

She stood in amazement at him. Delilah was the only one who really spoke to her like that, but Peter? Cadoc? “What?” she asked, pausing with a look of disbelief across her face. “You’re not trying, Peter. You resist it every day. You can’t even look at him. Why can’t you make an effort? He loves you! Just get to know the guy, is all I’m saying.” She sighed heavily, obviously pissed. Was she guilting him? Fuck, maybe. But his dad was alive. He had been dead for over twenty years but now he was in his life. If she had a second chance at being with her parents, she’d spend more time with them than anyone else. She’d be a family with her siblings. She’d hug them all the time. And maybe it was different because she’d had a relationship with them before they died, but Peter wasn’t even trying. She didn’t believe his words. He wasn’t trying. “You’re his baby boy!” Tears stung at her eyes and this time she didn’t wipe them away. “He loves you and wants to be with you and you’re being a shit!”

Awkward situations was something that Jack knew well and he was trying his hardest in the moment to avoid awkward territory. He didn’t want Ivy to feel like she couldn’t show up in the store because he was around, he already was dealing with the realization that was probably what Peter was doing. If he knew that him finding his kids would have caused drama he would have prepared for all possible situations better. Thing’s were never going to be perfect, but he wanted to try to get as close to it as possible and that good nature went towards people connected to his kids, even if they had broken up, which was new information to Jack as well. 

“Oh…Oh shit, I’m sorry Ivy” Jack replied feeling that awkward creep in slightly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t know. I haven’t seen Peter a lot lately, other than me hoping to run into him here. It’s mostly been me catching up on things with Damien. “ Jack rambled before he registered the rest of what she had said. He didn’t know what to say to Ivy. Yeah, it hurt his feelings that it seemed like Peter disliked him, but he understood where the guy was coming from. He understood how essentially getting to know a stranger could flip over his entire life. He was just hoping giving him space would be enough. “I’m not sure what to say, but thank you for being so nice about me Ivy. “ Jack nodded, genuinely appreciative of her. He couldn’t address the being nicer thing, just because he was still thinking about all of that himself. He was however connecting some dots when it came to Ivy and her own home life. The way she talked about parents made him believe hers weren’t in the picture in some way. “I do understand not realizing how important someone is until it’s gone and I’m sorry that it happens to anyone at all.” Jack explained. He didn’t really have any blood relatives aside from Damien and Peter. His family was Forest and Milo, so he knew how much it mattered to have what you could. “Honestly I’m the one lucky to get to know them again, even if the road hasn’t been easy” He shrugged. It was better to have anything than nothing. 

Jack let out a breath like he had no idea what he was doing, when it came to the living situation. He genuinely was very confused on what to do about the whole thing. “ I wanted to get a house. I think I’m too old to sleep on couches now, but I don’t know how to approach it. I don’t want to put anyone in a position where they have to make drastic decisions, but I think more space would be nice, even if it’s just being able to sleep in a bed again” He chuckled trying to stay away from the awkward parts of the conversation now. It  was getting distracting for him now.  

“Damien texts me sometimes. Apparently he’s been sleeping at friends’ houses... Faolan’s I think.” She shrugged as if she couldn’t care less but she did care. He was right upstairs from her work and never caught a glimpse of him. Damn he was evasive. She smirked at Jack’s words. It wasn’t really that she liked Jack that much--she didn’t dislike him! But it was more the concept of a dad than Jack himself. The idea of a father figure being in Peter’s life was better than none, and yeah Jack was pretty chill and rad and cool. “You’re a cool guy, Jack,” she let out. “Yeah, you know that more than anyone, huh?” she asked rhetorically. Jack had lost his entire family, but somehow been allotted a second chance. “I believe you, Jack. But Peter... God. He’s such a sweet guy. I don’t know why he’s... stubborn.” She sounded defeated, like she was fighting a losing battle uphill. 

“A house would be nice! I know Peter... the houses that he did live in... they weren’t ideal. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you this, but yeah, he had some shitty homes. Not homes. Places he lived. But if you could make him a home...” If I could, she thought, and remembered hazily being drugged after her wisdom teeth extraction and asking Peter to marry her... fuck it, she was so pissed at him and herself, she wiped the back of her hand across her face in case any tears threatened to fall, to catch them before it was visible. “Just tell the boys... well, one, sleep in Peter’s bed while he’s gone. Please. For the sake of your back,” she finally lit up a little, or rather lightened the mood. Talking about how old Jack was, when he looked like that... wow. As if he ever got back pains. She probably got more than him! “Just tell them you need a bed. You want Hopscotch to get a yard. If you can afford it, go for it!”

the pretty lies, the ugly truth

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“You’re gonna regret saying those words when you see how rabbit village is gonna look. “ Spencer teased glancing over to his sister. He was a major pushover when it came to Rowan but he did hope he wasn’t so ad that he’d adopt a whole shelter. “ Why don’t we let Rowan pick? It might end up insane but if there’s a nugget of something good there we can steer her towards something good?” He shrugged. figuring that if not that a name would come to them on the way home at least. 

He went quiet a moment at the ladies suggestion of two shadows. He was gonna stay out of that conversation and just smiled and nodded his head. It’d be madness with two animals named the same thing and he could see that one clearly. “Yeah, lead the way Ivy. I think we’ve got it figured out otherwise” He added glancing at the rabbit instead of answering the question too

“Yeah, you would let Rowan pick. She’s got you wrapped around her tiny little finger,” she said, raising her pinky for emphasis and giggling afterwards. She didn’t mind Rowan picking, and odds were her little sister wouldn’t choose something as boring as ‘Shadow,’ but something like Zimfandelkaoctopus. Or something. She snorted at the idea and looked up to her big brother, then followed the woman to the front desk. Penelope told the receptionist what they were getting and went back to the room to get Shadow from its crate to a travel box. “Okay bro, pay for the little shit and we can skedaddle.” She laughed at her nonchalance and patted Spencer’s back. Thankfully through the clothes she couldn’t feel the coldness of his skin, and she wondered how he had hidden for so many months from Rowan who always liked to hold hands. But she shook the thought away.

When everything was squared away, they brought the hairy midget to the car. “Should we put it in the crate, or keep it up at the front of the car where he can get air flow from the AC?” she asked.