Ivy On The Fence

image description: A shirt with the words, “This doesn’t end well :-)” on it. end description

I ran the numbers on this and this is enough of a radius to swallow the entire solar system and enough damage to destroy the earth 185 times over

I would like to know the stats of the Earth

They're older than Florida. The Floridian peninsula is the solidified runoff of the Appalachians that got caught on some coral. It's why we're like this, I think. You don't stand a chance of being normal when you were created by the shed skin of an elder god draping itself over a hollow skeleton. You're always going to be a little Off.

Whenever I get a puncture wound I feel so smug towards any tetanus that might be in there. They have no idea about my sick ass vaccinated immune system. While you were crawling in soil my cells were studying Tdap. Now die by the hands of my learnéd warriors.

part of what makes tragedies tragic is the story being preventable from the outside but unpreventable from the inside

This isnt coming out of the closet. This is coughing loudly from within the closet to scare the people outside of it, which is immensely more entertaining.

#explanation: this references the scene where Hektor the prince of troy goes to his wife after a battle and leans in to kiss his son #(who is still a baby and being held in andromache's arms) #but his son cringes away in fear of his father's battle helmet #it's a gut wrenching scene about how war dehumanizes you and separates you from the people you love #this interpretation implies that being a gamer is analogous

@wolfythewitch

sarcasm shark

Sharkasm

World Heritage Post

“Hey dipshit, see that ocean over there? Think maybe I should be, I dunno, in it?”

Couldn’t let alqueda win you fucking pussies

I’ve read the article about him, he outright said he was so shocked by 9/11 the only thing he could think to do was go bowling

The same with a lot of women fashion, the very moment women starts to wear something too, it becomes “women fashion” and het cis men won´t touch it with a stick.

there is a demon in your house named CARBON MONOXIDE. he enchants your mind with confusion and your body with exhaustion. you need to call a powerful exorcist named HVAC TECHNICIAN

I’m really enamored with the dynamic of two characters who work perfectly in tandem, like pacific rim drift compatible level, but they don’t like each other. It’s not even as strong an emotion as hate it’s just a very neutral-negative dislike, but they still act in perfect concert and their individual abilities are fully complementary