On Purpose

Hey, PSA: Those of us who work at Dark Side of the Moon would much rather spend our time there dicking around and doing our homework than cleaning hair out of the shower drains because you absolute monsters shed irresponsibly. If you can’t shower publicly without putting yourself at risk to getting your DNA stolen then go straight home after your workout, please. 

What do you do with all the hair when you take it out of the drains? It would be kind of gnarly and cool if you did like a "clump of shame" where you just pile all the hairs up somewhere until it's this gross big moldy monster that discourages people from leaving a mess in there, otherwise they'll just add to the creature!

For those of you who are unaware, I’ve decided to  boycott any dances and/or parties that involve non-biodegradable decorations. I’ve had to help far too many sick animals who have ingested these things and I refuse to participate in anything that isn’t environmentally friendly. I suggest you do the same, too!

So what are you going to do if no one EVER throws a completely biodegradable party in Walt ever. You're just going to miss out for the rest of your life? Like it's nearly impossible since glass and metal and plastic are all nonbiodegradable and who wants an all paper party! ALSO, I'm tying to coast off of your popularity from now until the time I'm in college and I can't do that if you never go to any parties!

🔥 Our muses roast marshmallows by a bonfire!

Gage had honestly kind of forgotten about the great cottage fire when she'd dragged Monty out of his cottage to come to the bonfire. Sure, she knew that Monty had only Just come back from an extended stay at home and thinking about it for longer than two seconds probably would've jogged her memory a bit, but since Monty had actually come back looking better than he'd ever looked before his accident, it was pretty easy to not think about. At least until Monty started poking her and talking about how marshmallows "tasted better raw" which was something no one said EVER. "What are you- Oh sprinkles! I'm such a featherbrain! Monty! Why didn't you just say no to coming to the bonfire with me? I didn't mean to re-traumatize you. I'd fly backwards if I could." She apologized at top speed, mentally cursing herself for being so mean. "Want me to roast them for you? Unless your one of those oddballs that also likes pop tarts raw, no one ever likes unroasted marshmallows."

Not only are mason jars incredibly tacky and UGLY, they’re also a very popular fairy trap container. They may be fine for those who live out in the middle of nowhere, jamming and pickling their own sad little cowboy tears, but they’re not okay for a growing city like Walt. So please, I implore you to stop purchasing and using these monstrosities of a kitschy decorating tool. This message is approved by the Mace The Mason Jars committee. 

Do you mean mace like the weapon for bludgeoning or like...pepper spray? Not that it matters or anything other than just vague curiosity. But I like Mason jars! Sure they've been used forever to trap fairies, especially ones as adventurous as my mother, but I'm sort of working on this like "Not Your Fireflies: Taking Mason jars back" type art movement right now. So could that possibly pause for a little bit?

Aye. Anyone wanna hook me up with their math homework? I can hook ya up with some good shit. 👌🏼

By good shit...do you mean weed? Because I've always wanted to see how being under the influence would affect my artwork but I don't think I'm ready for the harder stuff yet. I can promise a B+ on my math homework, if you do mean weed.

“So um…I think my date has his own thing going on? Apparently there’s some kind of drama between him and his ex and, thanks to the matchmaker, I’m now in the middle of it. I kind of feel like I’m in an episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation. Not as fun as I imagined.” 

"Aww, Daze. That sucks!" Gage exclaimed, just before hugging her bestie in sympathy. Not that she'd ever say it out loud, but Gage vaguely felt validated by Daisy's plight. She'd been telling her for ages that neither of them really wanted to actually be part of any of the drama that seemed to be eternally swirling around Walt. As an artist and lowkey messy bitch, Gage appreciated the drama but actually having to deal with it never seemed very much fun and from the look of her best friend's face, she could tell exactly how correct she was. "What kind of drama did your date have going on? Are he and his ex star crossed lovers?"