Ivan Martin

I hate men

Sometimes I wonder what parents are teaching their kids about how to talk to people and form romantic relationships. Because if you approach someone when they’re in their workplace and are forbidden from walking away or telling you off, you aren’t looking for a relationship. You’re looking for trapped prey, and you need to fuck off. Because sometimes, the actual “Nice Guys” like me (who have worked a bouncer job) will be there to keep them on the clock, even after they’re done with their work, so that I can escort them to their cars. With a drawn blade hidden up my sleeve just in case we weren’t clear enough the first two times.

Though right now it’s more accurate to say the monkey’s got a primed chunk of C4, and there’s about 300 million bystanders who can’t run away fast enough…

I mean, having been raised by a Christian Family™ and having my initial acceptance of anything “Uncouth” kept startlingly low as a child, I get where they’re coming from but... we kinda need a grown-up version of the “Everybody Poops” book for some of these people, to let them know that the people they require to be 13 to sign up for their site have probably already been to a sex-ed class or two and learned about nipples by now...

o h

I did not need a test to tell me this. 

This is a little darker than I would have liked. But I do understand that Im pretty self centered.

I’m 18.89% lighter than the average person. 

Machiavellianism can be fine if you use it for good stuff.

*says spitefully* SEEMS ABOUT RIGHT.

i am zero percent surprised lol

Ahahahahaha!!! I retook this just now and decided not to lie to it and look at all that spite

Honestly a little surprised that narcissism was my highest score, but I’m still way below the average I guess? Huh. Dunno how to interpret that really.