Am i destroying everything that I touch?

Everybody’s talking about brands and stores you’ve never seen in real life. You generally assume they exist, but they might as well be one giant prank the rest of the internet is in on.

You find a post that just sounds wrong. It makes no sense. It’s like OP lives in a weird alternate reality. 9/10 times, it’s just some USAmerican Thing.

You’re still not entirely sure how much an inch is. Or a foot. Or even how many of the former there are in the latter. You maybe know your height in feet and inches.

You have no idea how much a pound is. You’d also like to know how the fuck pound shortens to lbs.

What the fuck is “military time”

Somebody talks about some legal process or something similar. They don’t mention which country’s legal system this pertains to. You know anyway.

People talk about politics. None of it pertains to you. Many posts contain guilt tripping. “How can you not care about this?? Why won’t you reblog this?? People need to know this about x candidate for y position!” You’re busy trying to stay on top of the political landscape in your own country.

You pick up some random slang from the internet. Monkey see monkey do. You’re called racist. You didn’t know it was AAVE. You learnt it from black letters on white background, not from the mouths of people whose faces you could see. How would you have known? You try to unlearn it.

People tell you that you must publicly denounce Chick-fil-A or you’re homophobic. You don’t even know what a Chick-fil-A is.

People say you don’t know LGBTQ+ history. What they mean is you don’t know USAmerican LGBTQ+ history. Nobody cares about your country’s history.

You’re “called out” on using an “offensive” term. It’s (a direct translation of) a completely harmless word where you live.

People expect you to have an idea of how far apart 2 USAmerican states are. You barely know geography past your country’s immediate neighbors.

You randomly switch between British and American spellings. Nothing’s real and there are no rules.

People talk about multiple hour car rides and you get twitchy just thinking about it. You suddenly understand why USAmerican cars are so big.

Somebody talks about school shooting drills. You only ever had fire alarm drills.

You see a cool statistic. The study’s only about the US. It’s unfortunately of no use to you.

People misuse/misspell words and names from your native language. It’s tiring.

(You feel sorry for the French. Nobody should be allowed to mangle the word déjà vu like that.)

You’re still not over the fact that USAmerican school children are supposed to say that pledge thing every morning. You’re never getting over that.

You still don’t know why the men are fresh or what the fuck a sophomore is.

Who the fuck pays up first and then fills up gas??? That’s made up, right??

Everybody has a weird obsession with some comfort food you’d never even heard of before you signed up here.

John was deep in grief over Sherlock when they met, and it was heavily implied that working through that grief is what triggered them to start dating. John even semi-referenced his grief when he was proposing (usually people focus on the happy excitement not dead best friends).

Much of their engagement was spent with Sherlock, mostly John and Sherlock on cases because John wanted to escape the wedding planning. Not to mention Sherlock planned their wedding.

One month post wedding, when they should still be in full blown honeymoon phase, and getting ready for stupid accident baby (I still really hate that stupid baby, worst plot decision ever!), John is beyond grump and literally dreaming about running off on an adventure with Sherlock.

Immediately Mary’s lies start to be revealed, and John presumably moves in with Sherlock for MONTHS! He sure as hell doesn’t talk to his wife for months. And again, they should be prepping for the stupid baby.

John “forgives” Mary, moves back in with her, yet still seems to spend all of his free time with Sherlock, to the point that he ignores his phone and almost misses the birth of his stupid child. Even after the stupid baby comes, he’s at Baker Street. Remember when he made balloon John to keep Sherlock company when he was downstairs helping Mrs. Hudson with Sudoku? He’s not helping Sherlock with a case, you think he’d be at home with his beloved wife and spawn, but no, he’s doing number puzzles with his former landlady.

More of Mary’s lies are revealed and she ditches her husband and child (who those after her should be fully aware of), and even in her goodbye letter, she references Sherlock. Let’s not forget that John anticipated that she’d ditch them before Sherlock even confronted her (Sherlock and John always trusting each other), and he and Sherlock worked out a plan together.

Then we have her “tragic” death complete with a guilt trip, and she leaves the ridiculous DVDs telling Sherlock to nearly kill himself, and that since she’s gone they can become “what they’ve always been and were meant to be” (I’m paraphrasing)

And I didn’t even talk about how John conducted an emotional affair with Sherlock’s sister (perhaps because she subconsciously reminded him of someone?) when anyone else would have been in full on happy family, “we have a beautiful new child” mode.

I got a visual for ya

Here is Mary shooting Sherlock nicely

Here is the nice handiwork

Here is a face journey of sherlock feeling nice..

I didn’t realize people would be so salty about my brief convo with Steven about Mary. I prefer Mary to be evil cuz I think it’s more logical and hella more interesting, but to me it’s their show, they do what they want. Anyways, here’s the whole exchange while I remember it.

Me: do you think Mary was redeemed in the end, or was she still morally dubious?

Steven, surprised: well I don’t think she was morally dubious at all!

Me: uhh she did shoot Sherlock…

S: but she did it nicely, it was surgical. She was stuck in a difficult situation. If Sherlock didn’t mind it, why should we?

Me: so you think she was redeemed by her ending?

S, slightly frustrated with me: she didn’t need redemption, it’s not a scorecard. She had such a tougher background, so her movement towards humanity means more than …Sherlock is also, but he’s getting there, and John is solidly (for humanity, something like that I forget the wording, he rambled a bit, Mary took a bullet for Sherlock etc. )But she’s dead now, and there’s not a scorecard for that. It’s not black and white.

That whole scene and its idiotic aftermath was one of the reasons I gave up on the show, because I thought it had simply become unbelievable rubbish. Now, Moffat compounds my loathing of him, sorry about that, by talking this absolute mind blowing drivel about someone being shot nicely. Sherlock didn’t mind. Oh well, that was your crappy, shitty writing, and totally unconnected with reality.

I’m somewhat tired, to be honest, in trying to be polite and reasonable about this, sorry, but everytime I read what Moffat says now I just get incredibly angry. He is simply absolutely clueless, as far as I’m concerned, and understands nothing.

So you just… well, what, if you discard one scene as deleted scene you’re like oh hey wait I liked the lighting so much in that scene let’s re-shoot it and just have someone else in the protagonist’s place without any repercussions! Oh let’s take Mary to give her a bit of an edge why don’t we?! And what do you think about recycling lines? Been thinking all night, can’t think of any other but the t-shirt line for John… yeah let’s take it. Audience won’t notice it anyway they’re all brain dead, plus it’s once at the start and the end of the episode. No one will notice!

What the… fuck. They clearly know how to write antagonists. Moriarty? Magnussen? Hell, even Smith? Well done villains. I would have said Mary up to s4 too, but… LMAO? you can’t tell me you aren’t aware of what tf you are doing when you’re conceiving a character in a way you did with Mary. I suppose we’re supposed to be happy about the psychopathic edge they’ve given her to show John’s interests lie with the “different people,” because he isn’t that ordinary either? Who’d have thought! I would never have been able to think of that! It isn’t like he has been pining for his self-proclaimed sociopath of a best friend the last YEARS! Good god, what planet are they on? What the fuck? It’s hilarious to me by now because I’ve really come to care so little, but a part of me is still furious and disappointed af.

Yeah let’s just be glad they gave John an “intriguing” love interest. It could have been someone as funny and upbeat and crazy as Sarah who in the end it was just boring and normal! could have been Jeanette who has some self-respect and deals with difficult men in a way that involves not killing someone else. How mundane her problem solving behaviour was… so let’s get John a psychopathic woman who’s then reformed in her ways because she got a family who don’t we?! Jolly good idea!

It does not mean “you need to learn to regard the shit situation you were/are in as acceptable.”

That shit that happened/is happening to you?  That is merely the reality of what has happened/is happening.  Your goal is not to say “it’s okay”, to forgive, to say “this situation is fine”.  You NEVER have to say those things if you don’t want to, and you SHOULDN’T say those things if they are not true, it will not make things go any faster.

Your goal is to be able to say “WELP, here’s where we are, in Bullshit City.  I guess we start from here.”

Acceptance is a realistic assessment of where you are and a willingness to begin from there.  It is a recognition that old patterns, whether positive or negative, cannot or do not have to continue.

And it’s not a 100% all-or-nothing thing.  Some days you will be a lot more level than others.  Some days you will be really angry or sad about what happened/what you lost/what is happening.  That’s okay.  But on many and eventually most days you will be a lot more focused on the future, and what you can do.  And believe me, that is SUCH a huge relief.

Soooo, if someone is encouraging you to think of “acceptance” solely as “contentment” or “totally at peace”, they are approaching it wrong, in a very not-helpful way.

If you are struggling, maybe it will help you to see that this important recovery stage is not an insultingly tall hurdle you have to jump with a smile on your face and perfect gracefulness.  

It is merely an end to foundering because you have found your new solid ground.  It will be a quiet, messy thing, and it may sneak up on you, but it will come.  And from there, you can go in many different directions.  New ones.  Ones you never imagined.

If you aren’t there yet, keep going.  Fight and scream and cry if you have to. All that shit is necessary shit!  Do what you gotta do!  Just keep slogging, and try to hold on to the fact that eventually, even if you don’t feel like it, you’ll get there.

Mrs. Hudson:

Mrs. Hudson, once she’s had a good laugh: