Isoburgers

Parlour Diner turned out this bad boy for a recent Astor Theatre double-bill pre-burg, having eaten (and loved) before I knew I was in for deliciousness but for some reason this particular Parlour Burger was actually pretty terrible. Chewy, gristly beef, wet flavour, limp lettuce and way too sloppy, ended up with a bit of a stomach ache even though I didn’t finish the whole thing. I know for a fact they can do good burgs and their Fried Chicken is off tap so hopefully it was just a one-off thing!

Pillar of Salt busted out this pretty juicy wagyu burger, it was quite a while ago so can’t really remember a lot about it other than I liked it, the meat was tasty and the vegemite salt on the roast veg sides was pretty interesting and yum. The noisette bun was a bit over-toasted and dry which kind of ruined it a bit. I wonder if it still exists? 

Deadman Espresso South Melbourne for a birthday brunch turned up this epic fried chicken, pickles, slaw & Vegemite mayo burger. Delicious but entirely too massive to fit in a mouth, the vegemite-mayo mashup worked surprisingly well. Bonus normal-sized pork belly burger for scale.

The Boney Wednesday trivia night is a great excuse to hit up their wonderful Chilli Basil Cheeseburger week after week. Lots of spiciness, nice flavour to the beef & cheese, good brioche bun, cheap beers always help. If anything the loose leaves are a bit weird and don’t help with the structural integrity but the burg’s so good you won’t give a shit.

Downstairs Bistro trying hard not to be a generic hotel-lobby cafe but falling just short, their $20 Wagyu Beef Burger costing around double of what its worth. Brioche, pickles & wagyu try, but end up more hobo in a sack than hipster in tweed. Maybe worth a revisit, but if you’re charging top-dollar you’d better serve up something special to back it up.

Lol nice try McDonalds China, but not quite . . . 

South Melbourne’s newest burger/cafe joint San Jose aaaaalllllmost fills that Miss Molly’s gap, bringing some delicious american-style beef burger goodness back to Clarendon Street.  Not quite up to the near-perfection of Molly’s, San Jose still offers a nice soft brioche bun, flavourful meat and all the right fillings, however the patty was a tiny bit dry and it was a bit of a sauce-fest with mayo going everywhere so a little consistency and balance is needed before this can tick all the boxes. Fries were on point as well, plus the sub-$10 price tag means this definitely has the potential to turn into a South Melb favourite.

ummmmmmmmmmmmmm nothanks

Proper & Sons at the South Melbourne market, smashing out the tender market rolls so you can desklunch in style. Brisket melts in your mouth, chicken & stuffing is awkward to eat but pretty spot on. Could do with a bit more ingredients and condiments but if you like it simple then well worth a shot.

Day-off hangover Sloppy Joe style burger from a tucked-away cafe in Southbank successfully healed a sore head. Pros: lots of bacon, nice melty cheese and delicious tasting burger meat. Cons: bread was a bit limp so combined with the sloppy-mince and other ingredients it was way more effort to keep together than I could handle at the time.

http://www.huxtaburger.com.au/

Isobar Burger Club: Sushiburger! Pictured: Deep Fried Fish, Soft Shell Crab, Hamburg

Legit Japanese tomato-bun burger AKA I don’t even know what’s real anymore.