My Quiet Place

Marsha Francine Warfield (born March 5, 1954, in Chicago, Illinois) is an American actress and comedian. She grew up in Chicago and attended Calumet High School. She is possibly best known for her 1986–92 role of Roz Russell on the NBC sitcom Night Court. Roz, a tough, no-nonsense bailiff in Judge Stone’s court, acted primarily as a straightwoman to the other bailiff character, Bull (Richard Moll). She also starred in the sitcom Empty Nest as Dr. Maxine Douglas (1993–95). Before Night Court, she was a writer and performer on the short-lived Richard Pryor Show.

Warfield appeared in feature films such as D.C. Cab (1983) and Mask (1985), hosted The Marsha Warfield Show for ten months (March 1990–January 1991) and has made guest appearances on many television shows, including Riptide, Family Ties, Clueless, Cheers, Living Single and Star Dates. She has also done stand-up comedy including appearances on the Norm Crosby hosted The Comedy Shop television series.

Selected filmography

Smart Guy (1997) (TV)

Doomsday Rock (1997) (TV)

Comic Relief: Baseball Relief ‘93 (1993) (TV)

Caddyshack II (1988)

Truly Tasteless Jokes (1987)

The Whoopee Boys (1986)

Mask (1985)

D.C. Cab (1983)

The Richard Pryor Show (1977) (TV)

The Marva Collins Story (1981) (TV)

but then you twist both halves and unscrew it to find a flat-head screwdriver in the middle.

BUT, if you twist the very end and unscrew that

you find a phillips screwdriver.

BUT DON’T THINK THAT’S ALL THERE IS! THERE’S MORE!! unscrew the very end again to find a smaller flat-head screwdriver!

BUT THAT’S STILL NOT THE END!!

unscrew the end of this screwdriver to find a final, teeny tiny, flat-head screwdriver

look at how cute it is!

“don’t worry, guys, sharindlar will smite the shit outta anyone we need smote, that’s what she’s all about!”

“… isn’t she an avatar of mercy and life?”

Mid game my DM was like “No… Like… Arts and crafts.”

And I was like “Fuck it he knits, is there any yarn on the ship?”

DM: *Rolls dice* … *Looks up* This shipment is nothing but yarn.

Me: I’m going to knit a sweater.

DM: What’s your craft score again? *Looks at page*………………. Don’t even roll…

DM: So you all pull into port wearing sweaters beautifully knitted by our goddamned Barbarian.

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

ᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡ

ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..

Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend

Bro: touche…

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Bro: so you like girls?

Me: yep

Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?

Me: maybe

Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO?? 

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Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?

Me: sure… $10?

Bro: okay

Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three

Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….

____________________________________________________________

Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU

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Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?

Bro: yeah?

Friend: what’s that?

Bro: basically she’ll date anyone

Friend: think she’ll date me?

Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..

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Bro: so…how was narnia?

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Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too

Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?

Me: ew no

Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS 

____________________________________________________________

Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type

Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type

Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce

____________________________________________________________

Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?

Me: hopefully

Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??

Me: no?

Bro: dammit…

____________________________________________________________

Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur

Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you

Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!

____________________________________________________________

Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?

Me: what?

Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food

____________________________________________________________

Bro: aw fuck

Me: what?

Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl! 

Me: no thats okay-

I found some of my old editing work on a flash drive, and there was one novel which grabbed my attention and I immediately started screeching like a pterodactyl . Thankfully It never actually made it to publication because it was so bad, and the editor above me got fired for letting it get past the vetting process.

Mostly I’m just reading through it and cringing, but then I came across some of my own commentary at the side.

It starts out pretty tame. And yes, some people DO forget the names of their MC’s half way through a book. (Or the second chapter in this case, switching back and forth between Karen and Kate so much I eventually gave up.)

Then starts to become a little bit eeeeeh, and I have to make several of these changes and suggestions, mostly prompting for the language to be removed and rewritten entirely as it was VILE.

But then about chapter five I have lost my mind and well…

Basic anatomy lessons should be a requisite of all erotica writers.

noPE.

*hysterical/horrified laughter*

And finally.

lockable posts (so you can make a post unrebloggable)

when deleting a post, it deletes everywhere else.

proper block button, if twitter can do it, so can you.