A dating service where matching is based on peopleās search history exists. Youāre a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.
Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?
Writer: Air shot between the toes, itāll look like a heart attack.
Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok
Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts
Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes
Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks
A++ addition
Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene theyāre writing* babe, iām not sure if this would actually work?
Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, youāre doing great
I LOVE THIS
Oh no, murder comedy is my jam
I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? Itād be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it theyāre a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so itās completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work.
Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and itās a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that thereās something to the theory, but itās all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the authorās home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they donāt seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, thatās it. Most they do is leave for groceries.
So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough heāll FINALLY have proof.
Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal.Ā
āYou need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.ā
Serial killer breaths in.Ā āLook-ā
ā¦perfect
I donāt like actual murder mysteries, but this is perfect
THE ORIGINAL POST HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY
AFTER YEARS I HAVE FOUND IT, BEHOLD, MY BRETHREN
@scar-queen-owl @leal-love-lace @todorokitops @girlboss-sukuna
IāVE ONLY EVER SEEN SCREENSHOTS THIS POST IS LEGENDARY
This is one of those mysterious post you only see screenshots of on pinterest
Iāve only seen screenshots before, so this is awesome but. If I had the skill or motivation, I would make a fic out of this. (Or try to draw a mini-comic when I get a drawing tablet.)
I thought this post was a myth told by Tumblr users of old
























