can we please be more productive with our online time

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@isanonymouse
can we please be more productive with our online time

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I'm opening the world's first afab only walmart
a lot of my disillusionment with the trans "community" comes down to the fact that too many of you take "gender is different from sex" and go "ah ok, so instead of saying women are fragile and men are strong, I should say afabs are fragile and amabs are strong. to be Inclusive"
then you just treat gender like a surface level aesthetic draped over what someone "actually" is. really is indistinguishable from terf rhetoric
you all need to unpack your bioessentialism, but we also need a better theory of gender than "it's just dressup." I will pick my words carefully here, but the word "gender" itself refers to so many different phenomena that have been lumped together, and we need to un-lump them
in a feminist context, "gender" has historically referred to externally imposed categorization and the internalization and performance of said categories. in a paper I wrote on this subject, I called this sense of the word "extrinsic gender"
"intrinsic gender," on the other hand, is what I used to refer to the sense of the word "gender" that a lot of trans people are talking about when they discuss social gender dysphoria and euphoria. it's the internal sense of category that's resistant to external impositions
but then we also use the word "gender" to refer to subconscious sex, which is the term Julia Serano coins in Whipping Girl to name the phenomenon we're talking about when we talk about bodily dysphoria. it is the "gender" being "affirmed" by gender affirming healthcare like HRT and bottom surgery
so, "gender" is: a social classing system, a performance, and at least two internal phenomena as well. and I really don't know if it's doing us a service to conflate all of these things!
people will easily say "gender is a social construct" with the implication that sex isn't also oneβthat gender can be changed because it's socially conducted and sex can't because it's 'real.' but just like gender, sex also refers to many different lumped-together phenomena that too many people wrongly assume can only exist in two distinct combinations that are determined at birth.
sex is just as much a socially connected spectrum of characteristics as gender, it's just that the characteristics are physical ones, which makes seeing it as a social construct harder for a lot of people, i think.
even among trans people, i see advocation for things like sex markers on IDs, ridicule of medical forms that simply ask about what body parts one has and what one's endocrine system is like (the right way to do it), and constant use of "assigned sex" language as a stand-in for the idea of binaristic sex (even about people who have undergone a great deal of sex transition). it makes me sad.
my opinion on merch has really drastically changed in the past two years im kind of straight up disappointed when an artist I like or something announces plushies/acrylics/etc., made by a faceless corporation that obfuscates their business practices. That and honestly a lot of projects are inappropriate to make certain merch of and but sometimes artists just don't give a shit anymore and want money. The fact that they made a marketable plush of Anya from Mouthwashing and included a little bottle of pills she uses to kill herself with a magnet inside so she can hold it was extremely off-putting. I don't think I can even believe anything made above a certain budget can genuinely express anti-capitalist themes if they pivot so hard into doing merch outsourced to factories leveraged by the imperial core. Knights of Guinevere made an entire pilot about "the entertainment industry flooding the world with useless plastic bullshit for consumption is bad for the environment and the people living in it" and then as soon as the credits roll they have to be like "please consume our useless plastic bullshit" without any grace whatsoever. No damn self awareness.
yoo yall should give me more alphabets/scripts/whatever that i can learn for maximizing my uhh idk learnmaxxing i wanna write in toki pona in every possible script there is
hiragana/katakana work pretty well for it

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itβs fun that Mormonism is based off pseudo-archeology and Scientology is based off pseudo-psychiatry. By that logic the big American New Religious Movement of the 21st century is gonna be based onβ¦ pseudo-computer science?
playground insults in 2030: dude your dad looks like ai generated gay porn
LLM psychosis is simply the democratisation of being surrounded by yes-men and unctuous toadies, an experience previously only accessible to dictators and kings and cult leaders and venture capitalists

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After some years of HRT I've been left with this deep, low simmering rage. Because what do you mean it was always this easy to be happy
I take a shot once a week, and even if that was too much, I could do it as pills, and so many of my problems just evaporated overnight.
And not one person thought to bring it up.
When I was talking about how horrifying puberty felt. When I was cutting myself. When I was in inpatient care. When I attempted suicide. When I talked for YEARS in therapy about how dissociated and trapped I felt in my body. When I felt like I never truly fixed something that was deeply wrong about me that started at puberty.
Not one person said it was a possibility. No one thought "hey, maybe this kid should go to someone trained to identify dysphoria". No one mentioned that trans people weren't some weird other group of people. It didn't have to be pressure. It didn't have to be "forcing" me. Just mentioning that trans people exist and it could be me. That it was possible and it was easy. No pushing, just laying the option out there.
HRT is treated like this last ditch option. This horrific, mutilating thing that I GUESS we can give to you if you have NO OTHER options. Because did you know it's permanent? Did you know you'll be on it for the rest of your life? Did you know the health risks? Did you know it'll make you infertile? Did you know that it's deviant? Did you know that it's an alternative lifestyle for other people?
No one said it was okay to WANT it to be permanent. Or noted that most people are reliant on the medical system in one way or the other anyways (and it's not even necessary for HRT). Or that the health risks are the normal parts of having that hormone, even in cis people of your gender. Or said it was okay to not want kids, or mention that you can just freeze gametes. Or acknowledged that the "deviant" people are just people, living their lives, that have been violently pushed out of "normal" society.
I grew up in an area that Republicans mock for being a kind of "woke central". And even then it's just. Not treated as an easy option. It was never on the table if you don't specifically already know you're going through gender stuff, and no one will help you get to that point. At which point, it's still treated like the last ditch option. Did you know you can be a feminine man? Did you know you can slap a "she/her" in your twitter bio and be done with it? Did you know that you're oh-so-valid without it? Did you know that you shouldn't take HRT? Maybe don't take HRT? Don't take HRT? Don't take HRT? Don't ta-
When you've been in it a while, HRT is the easiest, most casual thing in the world. Just pop a shot on a Saturday as part of your "everything shower" routine and you're done.
Anyways. Support trans kids always and forever.
and this isn't even getting into harm that's genuinely necessary! i read a book recently that was intended to educate people in healthcare about medical trauma, written by a medical professional who found that there weren't existing resources to help her cope with the aftermath of the extremely traumatic c section that saved her life. the whole tone of the book was "i know you've never thought about this before, but walk with me through this case study" and it's aimed at other medical professionals! it's aimed at the people who are doing this harm, and so many of them think that people aren't allowed to find it harmful just because it's necessary!
so many trauma resources assume that your trauma is from a specific person or people who treated you in a way that society deems unacceptable. if your trauma doesn't fit that profile then you're left sitting there like. idk i dont think most of this stuff applies to me. where are the resources for people like me.
if you were ever scared or in pain and were told that you had to grin and bear it because it's necessary for you to do the thing that scares and hurts you, you are allowed to say that that was traumatic. you are allowed to say that you were scared and in pain and that even if this was the least bad option, even if it was lifesaving, it still was not okay. something being necessary does not inherently make it okay.
i think i still have mild trauma from a dentistry-related thing some years back, and it was completely voluntary and i wanted it, just, the experience was actually really upsetting. like, totally worth it in overall outcomes, just. wow, yeah. i do not want to ever do that again.
i have more than one thing that saved my life and traumatized me.
I'm a juvenile diabetic: relatedly, I used to be crippled by CPTSD. it turns out, infants dislike needles, and having your primary caregivers administer them daily can be bad for those relationships. I had no sense of trauma as the etiology of my issues for a while, because I couldn't find any 'abuse' in my history.
I remember talking to a psychologist: guy was like "are you absolutely sure you weren't abused as a child? I am literally a therapist, so you can tell me". when I demurred, he was like "truly? because you really really come across like you were, and I meet a lot of people with that history".
it was only after a parent mentioned that I'd go quiet and waxy during injections (tonic immobility, in retrospect) that I started to consider whether the lifesaving medical care I received had negative psychological effects.
This is a common gateway to pseudoscience. People experience trauma from receiving, or from seeing a loved one receive, lifesaving medical care and aren't able to find the space to process that it was necessary, the alternative was worse, AND it was really and truly awful. People who are afraid to go back. People who need accommodations to make necessary medical care less stressful and scary, and can't get them.
rule 1 of nonbinary club: there is no right or wrong way to be nonbinary :)
rule 2 of nonbinary club: if u mention that half of us get seen as quirky and the other half get seen as rapists then u will be hunted for sport
maybe it's boomer of me but it does make me genuinely rather frustrated seeing other trans people misuse the pronouns feature on discord. i get it when you're like in the closet not using it. but putting jokes in that slot is like. it's a feature that's actually good for trans people. really good, even. ive run several trans discord servers over the years and "experimenting with pronouns" is an important first step in like so many journeys. but when it's used for jokes, it gets taken less seriously and becomes less useful. the flow of "check before reference" is broken.
and i don't think your jokes are actually funny! they're identical to transphobic jokes half the time, and just because you're trans doesn't give you a free pass to that!

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sorry, but you were socialized christian. I just can't trust you in a trans space
they literally taught you that trans people were subhuman and that you were better than them. I don't know if you can be trusted around other trans people
they scapegoated and abused you for showing signs of transness? uh... no? christianity is the most privileged religion there is. stop whining
gotta say I was not expecting people to go to bat for my strawman
me: "lol wouldn't it be crazy if trans communities treated ex-christian trans people who survived religious abuse the same way they treat trans women who they call 'male socialized'"
some of you, for some reason: "wait hold on that's a great idea"
lotta people on this post going "ok well male socialization is fake and gay but christian socialization is Real and we should discriminate based on it" and I just think it's interesting how badly some people want to exclude others from queer community based on background
a lot of you clearly still believe socialization is an immutably tainting force, and you wanna be able to punish people for things you imagine they'll do because of it. can you at least wait for our hypothetical traumatized ex-christian to do something worthy of the punishment you're eager to inflict? can we wait for them to express a harmful belief instead of assuming they hold them? no? we just gotta bar them entirely? ok
God it really doesnt get more "caricaturized stereotype of Christianity/Catholicism" than wanting to *preemptively* punish hypothetical ex-religious people for their future crimes. Like at what point are y'all gonna realize that fighting Generalized Hate with Generalized Hate is simply never going to work, short term OR long term? Let people change! Let people get better than who they were! *don't be intimidated by the fact that someone improved themselves*
parking job from a girl with a huge truck