☄

sometimes you start reading a fic and immediately you’re like OH this was written by a child. okay. please know that i am proud of you but also i cannot keep reading this

we didn't evacuate the dancefloor and look what the fuck happened...

cause everytime we touch we spread the virus and everytime we kiss I swear I might die

plays portal and refers to glados exclusively as “my wife” and the end of portal 2 “the divorce”

single and ready for a pringle 

i regret telling a coworker i was vegetarian because now a year later theyre vegan and they live in portland and every single day they post a video on facebook of them like running up to a truck full of cows and crying and apologizing to them

who’s papa john

I just realized that I commented on the wrong post.