I just think that-

slime monster obama: my jello americans

you're cute and it's tuesday

*sports announcer voice* ARE YOU ALL READY FOR FAT FAGGOT FALLLLLLL

Someone is eating a fresh orange in this McDonald's. I smelled it and my head snapped up like a hunting dog. That smell doesn't belong in this wicked place

die girlies reading this 🥰

oh my god I meant in a german accent I did not mean to wish death upon girlies

This is more inspirational than I think it was originally intended to be

massachusetts mentioned

car crash victims mentioned 🗣🗣🗣🗣

it’s crazy how a double bacon cheeseburger is probably the single healthiest thing a human can eat

This princess forgot about super glue

sorry i am a dumb bitch