I donât really know how Iâm gonna start this off, but please bear with me. I know that Iâm gonna ramble, maybe none of these might make much sense, but one thing is certain. I wonât be roleplaying anymore.
It feels a little heavy to type these words out, since this hobby is filled with many ups and downs, as well as that this is a hobby that I sincerely loved (and hated for a time). It was 2011 when I started roleplaying on this website, after hearing of it from a friend from another fandom. Then came 2017, I made this blog on a whim when I asked myself if I could play Reimu for real. At first, I laughed it off. But, the thought kept popping back at random times, and after a while, it stroke me curious if I could really pull it off. Looking back on that, I think I pulled this off alright, not particularly bad but not particularly good either.Â
Iâve roleplayed for a lot longer than these 8 years, but if you had asked me years ago if I would be doing this for this long, I wouldâve flat-out said no. But thanks to the friends, and former friends, that Iâve met throughout the years that Iâve been doing this, I kept going back to this little hobby of mine. But now that Iâve decided that Iâd stop this, well, itâs gonna be awkward for me to not visit this place ever so often. Hell, itâs gonna be even more awkward as itâll be more difficult to talk to my friends that Iâve made here since Iâm awful at making topics LMAO
But, keeping a long story short, I wonât be roleplaying anymore because I canât keep up with roleplaying anymore. Its gotten to a point that, despite my attempts to turn it around, fun became work. I dreaded the day that I will have to write the drafts, even if Iâm invested in the thread. My brain fails to cooperate, and itâs not even because Iâm having an off-day or anything, but I wish it was. It just became more difficult for me to continue, and the longer I stall, the worse I felt despite my attempts to ignore that nagging feeling. There are also other things Iâd like to try, other hobbies and what not, so I believe that it might just be for the best for me to stop roleplaying. Well, itâs not like Iâm actively RPing anymore, Iâm literally just posting one liners and calling it a day nowadays.
Still, this is the final nail in the coffin, or so they say. Iâm still angry at myself for not being able to continue on with this, but I tried and I tried, and it just didnât work out no matter how much attempts I tried to reinvigorate this. I hate that Iâm leaving specially after all the things I did just recently to reinvent the blog and the muse, but it is what it is and this is what I believe I need. With that said, this will be my last post here before I kick back and eat a whole lot of ice cream tonight.
In the end, all I can really say is thank you. Thank you for being part of my life for the brief 2 year off-and-on moment that Iâve been here, whether you hate me or like me, or whatever else. Thatâs all I can really say now. Thank you very much.
