Ananke

“i hate you so much i think about you constantly.

“you’ve ruined my life but also i’d die for you.”

“we sword fight like it’s foreplay.”

“we stand two inches apart, breathing heavily, and yet nothing happens.”

they’re the blueprint for toxic soulmates. the betrayal? the longing? the dramatic speeches about honor and love cloaked in subtext? it’s giving shakespearean tragedy with a dash of repressed feelings.

darrow: “sevro, why are you eating dirt?”

sevro: “for the iron, duh. you wanna be strong, don’t you?”

darrow: “that’s… not how that works.”

sevro: “sounds like quitter talk to me. if it’s good enough for plants, it’s good enough for me.”

darrow: “you are not a plant, sevro.”

sevro: chewing “says you.”

sevro definitely pitched this as a team-building activity to the howlers too.

virginia, walking by: “why are they eating dirt?”

sevro, in the back, covered in blood, holding a severed gold’s head "hell yeah! let’s eat their eyeballs and make necklaces outta their teeth!"

darrow, pauses mid-speech, sighs: “sevro, please. i’m trying to be inspiring."

sevro: "what’s more inspiring than wearing the teeth of your enemies, ya pixie?"

darrow: “cool. then why are you standing so close to me?”

cassius: “because i need to glare at you properly.”

“so, they’re rivals.”

“oh okay, like they hate each other?”

“well, yes, but also they’re kind of obsessed with each other.”

“oh, so like a bromance?”

“sure, except one of them kills the other’s brother, and they swordfight in a sweaty duel that’s 80% longing stares and 20% shirtless posturing.”

“…wait.”

“and then they’re forced to team up later, but the entire vibe is just ‘if we were the last two men on mars’ energy.”

“so… are they gay?”

someone asked me if i ever take a day off. i told them i did once. the moon fell. learned my lesson.

someone called me ‘pretty boy’ today like it was an insult. i mean, they’re not wrong, but let’s not pretend it’s my only talent. i also look great while dramatically flipping my cape in battle. priorities.

pax: “sure thing… dadrow.”

darrow: sighs

pax, two minutes later: “can i have a razor, dadrow?”

darrow: “no.”

pax: turns to virginia “momrow said i could.”

virginia: “i did not.”

sevro, from the corner: “give him a razor, dadrow.”

darrow: mutters “i’m surrounded by children.”

cassius: we’re fighting to the death now

darrow: okay, but like… can we talk about this?

cassius: betrays darrow to the jackal

darrow: kills the jackal

cassius: “… you’re insufferable”

cassius: i’ve retired to drink wine and brood in peace

darrow: accidentally starts another war

darrow: i hate you more

cassius: anyway, here’s my deepest fears and emotional wounds