the zack shack

the waiting room of the doctor’s office was an awkward experience for shota. sitting silently next to emi, their shoulders practically touching, he stared blankly at the wall trying to avoid looking at the happy expectant couples around the room. emi kept stealing glances at him, fidgeting anxiously with her hands in her lap. he peered at her from the corners of his eyes, but didn’t turn his head to meet her.

the quiet in the room was uncomfortable, but not unbearable. shota could tell that the couples in the room were watching them- likely judging them, wondering why they weren’t acting like the typical couple expecting their first baby together- but he just ignored them.

emi, however, found it far more difficult to ignore the looks from the others around them. glancing again at shota, she reached over hesitantly towards his hand, trying to make the two of them appear like they belonged. 

shota recoiled like he’d been burned, flinching and whipping his hand away immediately.

“what the hell are you doing?” he hissed.

“people are staring at us, shota!” she whispered. “could you at least try not to act repulsed by me when we’re in public together?”

shota muttered something about “the press finding out about this”, but didn’t jump or pull back when emi put her hand back over his. he didn’t hold it- only let hers sit atop his own- but if it would shut her up for the time they were waiting, he’d deal with it.

after only a few minutes that felt like hours, shota and emi were called back for their appointment. swallowing hard, he glanced at emi, who was looking at him. seeing the anxiety in her eyes, he gave her a little nod before standing up, the two silently following the nurse into the small, sterile exam room. the medial diagrams and parenting posters on the wall did little to ease his nerves as he sunk into the chair beside the exam table. emi’s gaze didn’t leave him as she sat on the table, her fingers fidgeting anxiously by her sides.

“the doctor will be here in just a moment.” the nurse assured them. 

for the few minutes the two were left alone in the exam room, it was silent. emi continued fidgeting; shota stared blankly at the wall. it was awkward. tense. anxiety inducing.

the door clicked open, emi’s obgyn stepping inside with a kind smile on her face. 

“emi, hey, it’s nice to see you.” she said, likely noticing the anxiety on emi’s face and the tension between her and shota. however, she politely pushed it aside, keeping the interaction professional and not prying- something shota appreciated.

“and… is this dad?”

dad. the word hit shota like a punch to the face. it was the first time since finding out about emi’s pregnancy that anyone had called him that, and the name caused an uncomfortable feeling to bubble up in his stomach. but he pushed it down, instead just nodding tightly.

“...yes.” he forced out. because it was true, wasn’t it? he was “dad” now. 

“great.” the doctor replied kindly. she asked emi a couple of general questions, but shota didn’t hear any of it. his head was ringing too loudly, his mind spinning. this was it. he was going to see his baby for the first time. the tiny, innocent little thing that had completely flipped his life upside down was going to be there, grainy and small and so very real right in front of his eyes.

he felt sick.

however, what snapped him out of his daze was a loud, rhythmic thump coming from the ultrasound machine. his eyes widened, and his gaze shot towards the screen.

then, he saw it.

it was tiny. blurry- barely even visible- but it was there. a small, bean-shaped blob on the ultrasound, moving around just a little bit. he felt his breath catch, his stomach tightening. he opened his mouth to speak- to say something, but nothing would come out. a small, choked noise escaped him. he didn’t even notice the huge grin on emi’s face or hear the doctor rattling on about how far along she was. it was like he had tunnel vision- his entire world, illuminated on a screen just a few feet away from him.

“is it healthy?” he blurted out. he hadn’t even thought before the words spilled out- the need to just know was far too strong, his mind too focused on the little life- his little life- right in front of him.

the doctor stuttered for just a second, not having expected him to speak so suddenly, but she nodded.

“yes, everything looks good so far.”

shota let go of a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, nodding a little before turning his gaze to emi for the first time since the appointment had started.

“emi’s going to be due sometime in late march or early april.” the doctor added.

that meant he’d have to take a leave from ua. shit. he didn’t care so much about alerting his agency- hizashi could likely cover for him to keep the press out of it- but his students? that was a whole other story. sure, he liked tolerated his class this year, but he’d have to be gone for at minimum a few months. there was no way he’d be getting out of telling them.

surprisingly, though, the thought didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. the knowledge that his baby was doing well- growing on track with no immediate issues- gave him more relief than he cared to admit.

the doctor shut the ultrasound machine off, printing out their pictures and handing the small stack to emi. as she did, she explained the “do’s and don’ts”, all of which shota listened to with surprising interest. he subconsciously noted what was said, logging it in his head for future reference, trying but failing to keep the concern off his face.

i’ll have to make sure she follows those to a t. the thought surprised even him.

as shota and emi left the appointment and headed back towards his car, she looked up at him.

“so… do you… want a copy of the photos?”

“yes.” he replied immediately, before catching himself. “in case you… lose yours, or something.”

emi snickered under her breath. “right.” she snorted, handing him his half of the photos that he instantly pocketed with a shocking amount of care.

after a comfortable few seconds of silence, emi spoke again.

“we should start baby shopping soon, y’know. gotta get you into the whole, like, dad thing.”

“the whole dad thing?” he deadpanned, “what does that even mean?”

emi threw her head back with a laugh. “you know, like, doin’ all the crib building and nursery painting stuff!”

his eye twitched, but he just huffed. “great. just what i need to do; spend more time with you at your place.”

even emi could see the hint of the smirk in the corner of his mouth.

because in all honesty? he was starting to see it too.

those goddamn rose-colored glasses.

for the first time since finding out about the baby, the feeling in his stomach didn’t amount to dread. he shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling the printed ultrasound rub against his calloused fingers. it was then that the word dad truly began to resonate. in that moment, being dad didn’t feel so bad. it felt… natural. it felt right.

yeah, he thought to himself, i’m dad.