Lasko was dying and he knew it. Well, not right now, not exactly, but the blood stained petals in his hand could only mean one thing. This couldn't be happening. Why now? Why him? Why, of all people, was he in love with his best friend's boyfriend?
A chocked laugh slipped out of his burning throat followed quickly by more sobs. God that sounded like a bad drama plot. But it was his life. In his defense, they weren't dating when he first met him, but they sure as hell were now. He'd seen them together, seen them being so happy, joking and staring at each other with more love than he had ever had...
He couldn't do it. They didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve the amount of love between them. He carefully wrapped the petals in paper towels, cramming it deep in the garbage so no one would find it. And now he thought, I'll never have it.
He knew what would happen. There were only two options for people with this, and one of those was removed from him. He sighed and sat back heavily in his desk chair. What was he going to do? How was he going to hide this? Should he?... Yes. He had too, Gavin and Freelancer would feel terrible if they knew, probably even break up for his sake, and he couldn't have that.
He pulled his notebook over, if he was going to die, he could at least do some of things he had been too anxious to do before, and there were definitely a lot of things to go on the list.
How funny he thought as he wrote he was so anxious about everything, except now, faced with death, he was as calm as ever.
His phone buzzed, freelancer. Their timing was always perfect. He'd even had a small crush on them, but they were a student so it was easy to dismiss. But not this one. Now he wasn't so lucky.
Hey, you free this Saturday? I was thinking we could go see that new movie.
As he debated on his answer, another wave hit him, coughing, retching and gagging as his body tried to reject what was growing inside of him, the same way he had treated his unwanted emotions.
He shouldn't, but he wanted to see them before it got too bad for him to leave the house. Before he would have to start dodging calls and skipping plans.
As he bundled up the new bunch of flowers he made a deal with himself; One day with each of them. That's all I get. That was all I have time for.
He didn't have long left, and when the time did come, it would be painful and he would be alone, so even if it was selfish, he wanted to see them all, to pretend everything was normal and that he could have a future filled with love, just like them.
