Irithind

oh me? I lost my penis when I ignored the "Don't touch the machinery" sign. you know how it is

nearly ran a redlight thinking about >penis ripped off by penis gnomes on my way home from work

putting this post on every machine from now on thank you

Penwas :(

also at the end when they ask you "any questions?" and you can't think of anything: ask about parking. even if you don't have a car.

I have an interview today in a couple hours, how did the algorithm know I needed this

Btw when they ask if you have questions some actual good options are stuff like “what’s a typical day like in this role” or “is this job open because someone is leaving or is this a new position”

i have a suggestion

Theyre called draculas because they drank u. La

Did anyone else hear just one single angelic note

isn't it ridiculous how you're only allowed to have types when you're into conventional appearance and conventionally attractive things. if you're into fat people you're immediately labeled as a fat fetishist but exclusively dating skinny people is just normal. if you're into muscular women you're a disgusting gooner with a muscle mommy fetish but if you're into muscular men you're literally just a regular person. thinking feet is attractive is a fetish but being into boobs is the normalest thing ever even though both are non-sexual body parts

These animals look like (me and) my wife!

i understand that it's unreasonable to expect a band on world tour to play in every country in the world but i do think they should only be allowed to call it a world tour if they play in every continent. we need to make it embarrassing to say world tour and then not even step foot in africa

I fully agree, however... "every continent" might be a stretch, cause I think Antarctica also counts as a continent? XD