Passionate Pungineer

This is the FOURTH time the apartment across the hall has blasted Mr. Brightside. What are they doing

save me obi wan 

i want to be a professor and lecture nonsensically for a few hours every day and give students vague essay prompts and read them all and laugh but still pass everyone while i slip some bourbon into my metal coffee mug that doesn’t actually have coffee in it wearing a button-up and vest with no tie but nice jeans and hella expensive shoes that i bought because i have tenure and im never losing my job

being hit on by men in their mid 40s & above really is just a day-ruiner? like that really is just something that ruins a day. they really just do feel the need to be that way w/ someone who’s probably the age of one of their children who they’re rarely in contact w/ from their ex-wife/previous marriage

Replace all doctors with WebMD

2016

the rumors are true: im soft and i just want to be loved