Some other beginning's end

i mean, if it was a question of rose wanting to leave the song somewhere where julie couldn’t miss it, she could’ve easily left it literally anywhere around the house — could’ve left it right there in julie’s bedroom (on her desk, on her side table, in a drawer that julie regularly uses). but rose her daughter so well. she knows julie will need time to grieve her, knows that she will need time to grieve that part of music in her heart that was so tightly linked to rose and that died along with her

simply put, rose knew julie would need time to adjust and find her own new connection to music that wouldn’t solely rely on rose

I follow this lady on instagram who rescues cats, and i have been thinking about this video for literal months. behold the transformation of this wretched little beast

Ilya doesn't leave the car right away so now they sit in silence.

They had these big plans now, they had said they love each other, they were boyfriends.

But this still feels like something is slipping through Ilyas fingers.

What if it was all just something that'll stay in these two perfect summer weeks? What if they were just something in the cottage?

"So uh... you could text me. When you land."

Shane's looking out of the front, frowning.

"Yes."

"Or call. You could call."

And- Ilya closes his eyes and tries to find the brave version of himself that was honest with Shane and with himself these last fourteen days. The version that was a boyfriend now.

"I think I prefer calling. But when I'm home. Alone"

Shane started to nod along as he spoke and then says "yeah, yes. Good thinking."

"Calling will be better and worse probably. Will make the missing each other worse, yes?"

And that makes Shane finally look at him. First surprised, then happy and resigned as he lets his head fall agaist his headrest, lips pushed to the side.

"We can't kiss goodbye."

And Ilya hears what he means. It's not to remind him of that fact, its a regret.

"No." But he takes Shane's hand and squeezes it.

"I want to, though."

And he loves that Shane clarifies it. Even though he got it it's nice to be reasured.

"Me too."

Shane nods then. Once- as if he tells himself ok, enough.

And Ilya is almost not strong enough to resist kissing his hand. Almost.

"I love you."

Fuck. Almost.

"I love you too."

"See you in around four weeks?"

"Hmmm, yes. When we beat you."

"In your dreams." with a grin.

"And when we face time."

Another nod, another soft smile "Yes."

"And after we beat you, you bring the glasses."

"Wow." Shane laughs and shakes his head

"Is my reward!"

"Fine." Another chuckle, then "What do I get if we win."

And Ilya snorts and opens the car door "Mh, sure. We think of something if that happens, yes? We can look at real estate or something to get you off."

Shane narrows his eyes but the grin on his face is barely being suppressed "Your plane's leaving."

"Bye, Shane."

A beat, a breath, a nod.

Rose Diaz (later Molina) cover/article in Scene Magazine, 1995.

The whole team settles in with rapt attention, ready to roast the shit out of Roz over it via group chat, only to see. Well. It's a series of interview clips over the years. It's made up exclusively of three things. One, clips of Hollander "stealing" linguistically challenging questions that the whole team knows Rozanov hates. Two, clips of Rozanov derailing questions that are about Hollander's "representation of his community," which gossip on the street says makes Hollander uncomfortable. Three, Hollander and Rozanov commenting individually on the rivalry, with vicious comments such as. "He's of course a great player, but he'll find us difficult to beat." Such fire in Rozanov's comments are especially damning, given his whole chirp-king-schtick. The video editor, with all the obsession and perception of a true fangirl, makes sure to circle every instance where you can see the shadow of Hollander and Rozanov pressing their feet together - and in one instance holding hands - beneath the interview table. (You wouldn't see it unless you're looking for it - or unless someone circles it in red for you.)

The video finishes, and the team sits in a kind of shocked silence as the next video auto-plays. This one is a compilation of Rozanov chirping Hollander on the ice. Here, the editor has helpfully drawn an arrow to Hollander's face whenever he blushes. The editor has also inserted text overlays with comments like. "Look at how fiercely Rozanov insults his rival." And then puts smaller arrows pointing to Roz's body language, with helpful texts like "excited wiggle indicating absolute fury," and "besotted grin indicating deep hatred." The sarcasm is distressingly accurate in its point.

(Listen, the whole team knows what Roz looks like when he's chirping someone. This - this is not it. This is not it at all. This is him when he's being silly with people he really likes. What is going on.)

The video finishes, and this time someone has the presence of mind to stop the auto-play before another mind-breaking thing comes up.

Someone else, trying to lighten the silence with a joke, and maybe dismiss it all as a fever dream, says, "Montreal Jane? More like Montreal Shane, am I right?"

And. Well.

Once it's out there, there's no coming back from it.