INTP Wonderland

So you’re an introvert eh?

You’re probably very familiar with the effects that being too deep in mush of humanity has on you and instinctively withdraw when you’ve overdone it. Great, it’s important to listen to your introvert self so you don’t push too far and get completely drained.

But do you understand the reverberating effects that overdoing the people thing can have on you?

Depending on how much of an introvert you are, there’s likely to be additional effects beyond just what happens in the moment. Sometimes, you can find yourself suffering for days, weeks and even months after particularly heavy peopling and because the effects are delayed you may not even make the connection between cause and effect. The most likely negative effect is that your inferior function gets to have more than its fair share of control over your cognitive processes.

As an INTP who is particularly strongly introverted but needs to dive very deep into humanity soup occasionally (e.g. attending and speaking at events with lots of bodies), I know my limits in the moment and plan my withdrawal strategies ahead of time so I don’t short-circuit. However, when I string too many earthling-exposure events together in a short period the ripple effect can take a heavy toll and my inferior Fe gets to come out and play, sometimes for weeks after.

So take care of your introvert self, burnout is unpleasant and an out of control inferior can be very unsettling.

Plan ahead and expect fallout if you know you’re going in hard

Understand your inferior function and how it plays out for you when it gets control

Monitor yourself so you’re not only managing after the fact

Find ways to detach and recharge, this is very personal and you’re going to have to figure out what works best for you

It will get easier.

Teens and early 20s are the formative years of life, they are the absolute best and the absolute worst, for everyone. Your developing brain pushes everything to the extreme and you will never experience feelings as intense as you do during these years. Enjoy it, if you can, but know that if you are struggling, life gets better, stability will come, you will find your place, and while you may never feel like you fully fit in, you will figure out where plug in to this world.

You will figure out how you can contribute to the world and make a difference. What happens inside your head will eventually break out and you will make a difference. Your internal randomness is not pointless, the systems and frameworks you build, and the knowledge you collect, will all contribute to making you a valuable member of society. Just be careful looking for role models, you are a special and unique and how you contribute to the world will be special and unique too.

Your feels will settle down, you will learn how to integrate those deep parts of you that currently burst out in surprising and sometimes disturbing ways. You’ll always be most comfortable in your robot skin and may enjoy encouraging that perception of yourself, but your natural empathy and desire to connect will mature and combine with your considerable intellectual skills to produce a highly capable and respected force.

You will find friendship. And although you’re unlikely to have a large and vibrant circle of close friendships, your life will be defined by many key mindmates with who you have deep and lasting affinity. These may come and go with the tides of life and there may be extended gaps where you are without these individuals in your life but they will always turn up as you, and they, won’t be able to help being drawn to each other for the stimulation you provide each other.

You will find love. And yes, I understand your skepticism on this front, it seems unlikely that you’ll ever find someone that you can open up to in a romantic way and who will accept you for who you are, but if you’re open to it, it’ll happen. Just don’t force it, and don’t listen to those who tell you exactly the type of person you should look for, just let it happen. There’s something special about being completed by someone else who is different to you, and the challenges of these kinds of relationships provide some of the most intellectually stimulating fodder for your capable mind to figure out. One day, if you want, you may even have kids, and the fulfilment they will provide you, not least in what they present you in the form of micro-experiment subjects and observational learning, is unparalleled and how they will change you cannot be understated.

You will fit in, to a world that is not designed for or by INTPs. You will make your mark and find the respect and validation that you so deeply desire. Just hold on, ride it out, and maybe even embrace the tough times because you’ll inevitably look back at the hardest parts as the moments that most shaped who you are and provided the key opportunities for growth and maturity.

From an older INTP who has been through it, and survived, somehow, and wants you to join them on the other side.

INTP: You know that INTPs are often considered kind and well mannered?

ISFJ: (incredulous) What? You? You don’t even look at people in the eye when you’re talking to them, that’s worse than having no manners!

INTP: (stunned) But don’t you even understand that when you look people in they eye you’re opening a door to let them in to the deepest parts of your being??

Pretty sure INTPs learn to keep quiet simply because of how other types react when they're honest about what's going on in their heads. To be fair, many of those reactions are perfectly reasonable.