thinking about the fact that it looks like Ruben really didn’t want to do it. he acts like he HAS to do it, like there’s no other option for him. to me, he even looks apologetic. and you know what? it looks like Niall thinks that way too!! he doesn’t resist, not really. he tries to defend himself, but it looks like a natural reaction. he never really tries to stop what’s happening. it’s like this is an inevitable thing that they have to go through together. they have no choice! this scene looks so simple on the surface but it’s insanely complex. it’s fascinating!

rubens hands would shake the first time he truly got with niall sorry that is my truth yes he’d be commanding and confident and sure of his wants but this is niall… my hands have known violence and the resistance of bone but with you they shake for the experience unknown …

which weak-spirited little journo called the ending depraved and got our hopes up btw. like how coddled are youuuuuuu you had some of us expecting necrophilia in our murder suicide and instead we just got ambiguously sexual normal murder 😒

happy pride to dead dove fanfic and richard gadd's dead dove show half man!

the "I'm bi" to "I'm gay" journey is beautiful, one short exchange with Ruben where all he does is repeat Niall's own words back to him incredulously and several grand worth of bullshit conversion therapy vanishes like it was never there. just cracking open that matryoshka of denial one brow quirk at a time