𒅋

You can call me Metzli, or if you know me by another name, that.

•27 years old • it/its • two spirit intersex transfem•

•ᏣᎳᎩ & Otomí (Hñähñu) • finromantic apothisexual•

•questioning apothisexual lesbian • fem(me)4fem(me)•

•msn autistic, dyscalculia and hyperlexia, hEDS, visually impaired. DID system. AvPD, CPTSD, other comorbidities physical and mental. Diagnosed.•

My current main hyperfixations are: Arcane (if you couldn't clearly tell - I am very critical of it’s “centrist” dives into fascist bootlicking propaganda land writing in season two, though), deep sea animals, vkei.

My special interests: Silent Hill, dolls and figurines, Creepypasta and Slenderverse (except for TribeTwelve), horror aa a whole really, anatomy and osteology.

ᥫ᭡.

As put, I am visually impaired. I am in fact blind I just do not have total vision loss. I do not currently have or use a screen reader, which are not actually accessible to everyone with a visual impairment if we have other comorbidities that hinder their usage or usefulness, and I do. I may miss things on your profile in regards to dn(f)i's if not written clearly, if i violate yours it’s certainly accidental and not malicious. If I ever reblog AI “art” it’s most assuredly not on purpose. Never hesitate to tell me in either case but also I ask that you please not be needlessly nasty about it. Accidents do happen.

This is mainly to make my own stances clear and for my own comfort, rather than believing it actually deters. I have no intent or inclination for discourse or debate on anything, some things much less than others. I simply block. I also frequently block from purposely undisclosed triggers. Apologies in advance if you do nothing, are not the following and I block you:

DNFI basic criteria, conservative, transmedicalist, Zionist, anti-land back (wanting to burn countries to the ground instead of returned to indigenous peoples IS in fact colonialist and fascist mindset by the way), pro/"neutral to"/call yourself a non-traumagenic or mixed origin "system” of any kind, pro/"neutral to"/call yourself a non-cdd "plural,” if you exclude asexual and intersex people from the lgbtqia2s+ community, if you exclude intertrans and cistrans people from the trans community, if you don't think that trans people can be gnc or have a snit about them when they are, if you are anti-good faith contradictory labels (especially when used by intersex people), anti-mogai, "psychologically intersex"/think you can transition to intersex/think transitioning makes you intersex, other transIDs, “agab" truther, "socialized male/female" believer…

DNFI radfem/TERF/TWERF/TRF/etc, pro GenAI, profic/comship/etc, pro censorship, think you cannot be both anti-censorship and anti-normalization of harm/abuse at once, conflate non-fetishistic and non-condoning portrayal of dark topics in media (especially created by survivors) with profic ideals, (pro) harmful paras such as kodo/necro/zoo/inc*st and refuse/encourage refusal of recovery, are anti recovery in general, you conflate paras with being lgbtqia2s+ or conflate paras with kink, (pro) radqueers and xenosatanists, if you demonize dissociative/personality/psychotic disorders including if you believe in narc/cluster b abuse or armchair diagnose"bring back bullying", isff supporter or in her circle, support gooseworx, think a lgbtqia2s+ (especially trans) person being awful means you now get to be -phobic to/about them, etcetera.

I am no hypocrite, if we accidentally interact in passing and you are in the DNFI ^^^ I do not consider that an intentional violation of my boundaries, however intentional ones I do take as harassment and will block you (and or report you as well depending on the circumstances).

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This is not an NSFW page, the closest I will come to it is horror media and venting posts, I do my best to tag thoroughly and properly. Always feel free to ask me to tag something I forgot to. Do not send or attempt to talk to me about sexual NSFW topics/material, you will earn yourself an immediate block (and or report depending on circumstance).

Please do not follow if under eighteen, I won't bite your head off if we interact in passing, you have a right to be here too so long as you are old enough to be by the site’s TOS (if you are not then heed my warning to just steer clear of socmed in general for a long while for your own well-being). I do not mind being a safe adult in spaces within reason, but do not follow me. Thank you.

This is my old pinned post, which contains important information about my situation. TW for stalking, transphobia and intersexism, medical and isolation abuse, etc. If you are able, please help me, otherwise please share the link to my k•fi around in trustworthy spaces or with trustworthy people, and or click the link to my old pinned and reblog that. I desperately need help but at the same time it all feels hopeless… Anytime I try to make fundraising posts, they just die. I can’t get anyone to help or listen on or offline but I can’t not try.

Have a good day, or night, depending on where you are in the world.

P-DID with co-morbid CPTSD, DPD and schizoaffective. She also has synesthesia.

Her hallucinations and synesthesia play off of and feed into each other often. The neon scribbles, scribble doodles, that fling around her vision that get more chaotic the more upset she is and at times spell out her thoughts or things others say (or other parts say) hint at this in canon.

Vander I think would be the first to notice something was going on with Powder in regards to seeing and talking to things not there, dissociation issues, likely trying to talk to Benzo about it but ultimately no one is really sure what to do about it if anything can be done. With other kids, mainly Mylo and Claggor, starting to mess with her I think they'd try to keep it under wraps that that's partly why they don't take her along... But kids are kids, and they make their own narratives for what they see and what they see adults do.

Powder -> Jinx host change after being taken in by Silco, maybe even on screen when Vi walks away after calling her a Jinx. Powder having gone dormant, or, just very rarely being about actively intruding.

As it goes with P-DID, full switches do not really occur much if at all, more having other parts just lurking around the front.

Jinx is terrified of the dark, as seen in canon, but rather than a nightlight helping as I think that might actually make it worse (giving her mind the shadows to inspire hallucinations, some nightlights would look too much like flickering flames on the walls which would remind her of Vander's death and Vi's walking away) I think she'd instead do better with a sound machine. The only thing is as, again since her mind could use certain sounds against her, it must be brown noise... Once you can convince her to try it, at least. She loves her music and doesn't want to admit that listening to voices at night even if it's music actually not always be a good idea. That sometimes a break from it and to just have more calming, blank sound can do wonders.

A few more, more focused on hEDS now which is another one I have, since most of these have been focused on mental health:

I can see Powder doing some little "tricks" with her joints for other kids and either being bullied about it by Mylo so stopping on her own or Vander just telling her not to do it anymore because it looks concerning and the best way to make sure nothing happens when he can't exactly easily get her to a doctor is to just tell her to stop. He knows something isn't exactly right there, just not what and he's not going to tell her that, either and scare her given the circumstances.

The last point would then explain how no one else seemed to know she was hypermobile. Given how she was often treated, too, I think childhood flare-ups would have been treated as her "milking it" for attention by other kids while with Vander then by Sevika while with Silco (plus given my own experiences growing up disabled). Maybe even a little bit by Vi. Unfortunately.

Her mouth gets cut up easily eating anything that isn't soft, even toast can be a bit too much and slice the corners or the roof of her mouth, but she doesn't care. She'll happily eat a few bags of sour candies in one sitting with a bloody tongue, too, and she gets a kick out of the looks of horror she gets.

Anesthetics don't always work on her properly, and likewise, it actually is partly why her Shimmer surgery didn't completely mutate her despite the amount and potency. Rather than allowing the drug to build up and warp her muscular structure, her metabolic systems kept rapidly breaking it down, with more and more being administered a pathway had to be diverted since her connective tissues refused to hold it. It wound up diverting directly into her blood plasma where it "stabilized" for lack a better descriptor.