Self-Appointed Mushroom King

I am so far away from home. I am so afraid but I cannot show it. I’m going to be all on my own out there and people are not kind to me. I’ve always been alone, but never this kind of alone before. I don’t really know you, but you seemed kind. And earnest. You would not lie to me. Is it safe? Will I be happy there and safe? Boston is nice too?

It would be global. At a minimum, every country that has an athlete at those games as well as every country that cares about LGBTQ+ human rights would be expected to respond in some way, even if it was just a motherhood statement about the Olympics being a time to celebrate the bonds of friendship between nations while also respecting the human rights of all participants.

In capitals around the world, the junior officers on the Russia desk and the human rights desk are in the office at midnight drafting tweets and talking points for the foreign minister/leader. Half the legal division are also there churning out analysis of the translated text of Russia's laws to see exactly how bad this can get and what their FM/leader can say about it. They could also be spinning up possible sanctions regimes, travel bans and other mechanisms to put on the table.

The trade division is reviewing stats and agreements with Russia to see if they have any leverage. They will also want to quantify how much damage any statements/actions could do to their bilateral trade - can we find an alternate market for commodity X if Russia will no longer buy it from us after we disparage them publicly and, in Russia's view, "interfere in our internal affairs, maliciously influence Russia's legal processes with its own citizen and impinge on Russia's sovereignty"?

The senior officials are trying to synthesise all this information to make their pitch to the FM's office in 30 minutes on why this is important, what we should say and do publicly, what we should say and do behind the scenes and how this is going to impact our relationships, our reputation and the safety of our nationals in Russia.

At the foreign embassies and consulates in Russia, the political teams are working around the clock, feeding information into capital while trying to pull on every local lead and connection they have. Sending out sitreps at regular intervals, with frequency determined by exactly how fucked they are if this goes wrong. The cable traffic is insane.

The FVEYS+EU Ambassadors are meeting as privately as they can in Sochi, Moscow or other Russian cities, knowing that they are being surveilled and that their phones are monitored. Deals about safe flight paths and airspace are being negotiated and joint statements prepared. Way too much time is spent debating whether they are "seriously" or "gravely" concerned about this matter.

I am guessing that countries like the US and Canada would have had consular teams attached to their delegations from capital and/or drawn from Moscow/European posts. Jeanette, the 58 year-old career Canadian consular officer who is on her seventh posting, has over twenty crisis responses under her belt, and has seen and done more than you can imagine has GOT THIS. She will get these boys out of Russia and she will sleep once they are safe on Canadian soil and not a second before. She is later awarded an Order of Canada for her work repatriating national treasure Shane Hollander.

Staff in Ottawa and Washington DC as the capitals of the two countries with the most interest in the outcome would be operating on another level. This isn't even touching on what would be going on a multilateral posts like UN New York or Geneva (they are a whole different and scary world).

Ottawa itself would be insane - that's Shane Hollander's home town! His dad literally works at the Treasury Board office across the road from Confederation Park. Leonie from DFATD's development programs team was in a meeting with Dave Hollander just last week about expanding funding for their Pacific programs. He's such a nice guy - hope he's doing okay.

And quietly, in the background, sports diplomacy and public diplomacy officers around the world are crying because the content they spent months preparing is now all completely useless in the wake of this much bigger and more serious issue.

See, I absolutely love this because it really puts into perspective just how absolutely crushing the pressure would be on this relationship in the aftermath. Like. This is the kind of international incident that would result in hundreds of people working around the clock. There is emergency briefing on the desk of every world leader about the fact that Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov have biblical knowledge of one another. It would potentially cost millions of dollars—both in labor hours, and in the potential trade effects of Russia was hit with tariffs or other economic sanctions.

And the entire time Shane would most likely have to be purposefully escalating matters.

Ilya is not a citizen of any country they’d be relying on for rescue efforts. That’s going to make it so much harder for him to get any kind of serious assistance in the immediate aftermath, because he’s simply not any other country’s problem. The number one thing that would work in his favor would be Canada’s Sweetheart Shane Hollander latching onto him like a mollusk and saying that he is not leaving this fucking country without him.

It’s not just that the world decide to rally around Ilya by happenstance. They would have to purposefully lean into their “relationship” to try to solicit aid. And it’s not something that would just go away after.

They don’t just get to come home quietly. They have to be received by the White House. They have to be received by the Canadian prime minister. There would be press conferences. Interviews. They would have to sit in front of a camera and hold each other’s hands and talk about how fucking grateful they are that the entire world rallied to keep them together.

There is no drifting apart and letting the situationship develop into a relationship naturally. Their wagons are fucking hitched, for better or for worse.

And it would constantly be dredged up again. Their first games after the rescue? The President of the United States is in attendance with his whole family. There are protesters outside the stadium. They are in attendance for each other’s first games back if it’s not a Boston v Montreal game and they don’t also have a game scheduled for that same night. Like. If Ilya comes back to a game against fuckin Anaheim and the metros aren’t also schedule to play? Shane Hollander is sitting in a box with the fucking Obamas, probably in a Rozanov jersey. The press presence would be suffocating.

There’s documentaries being made about the event. Endless political commentary. Ted Cruz has personally made a homophobic comment about their relationship. Ilya had to be physically restrained from clapping back and starting shit with the state of Texas.

And even if it started to die even a little bit, something would resurrect it. Each anniversary would spark a new wave of interest. If the democrats introduce a bill to legalize gay marriage and increase protections for same-sex relationships? Guess who may need to come testify to fucking congress. God help them when Obergefell drops. And when Jeanette gets her Order of Canada, they are honored fucking guests at that ceremony.

The fascinating thing about the Sochi outing to me is less about getting Ilya out of the country and more about the absolutely crushing pressure and scrutiny their relationship would be under after. They just turned the gears of nations to save Ilya—and it was a very purposeful turning on their parts. This didn’t just happen. They leveraged every single fucking ounce of public goodwill they had to force world leaders to get Ilya out of Russia alive.

SOCHI OUTING AU

PART 1 (Original post - anon ask.)

MEMES POST 1 (All that touching is NOT working in Putin's favor now.)

PART 2 (Where is their wedding? How public is the spectacle? Private?)

PART 3 (The Catching Fire of it all is literally killing me. They both wanted it but they're trapped by it.)

PART 4 (What happens after with the NHL? How does it affect teams?)

PART 5 (JJ locks the fuck IN for his boy. He's #StandingWithHollanov - ignore the throwing up happening in the background)

PART 6 (The Boston Raiders lock the fuck IN for THEIR boy. "Who HASN'T had gay thoughts about Shane Hollander???")

do the cup wins still go as followed in canon? (boston win after sochi and then two back to back montreal (the montreal team does fuckin fall apart at shanes gayness in the story i think but then they did not have world leaders' opinions)) . if they do, i feel like every cup win wiuld have to have commentary on their relationship. and god forbid if the last match was between boston and montreal ! no one would be normal.

I don’t think even Crowell can touch them at this point. The United States and Canada, aka the two governments of the countries the NHL is fucking located in, just moved heaven and earth to get Shane and Ilya out of Russia. The United States specifically did it because they’re trying to use the story and ride the hype to force LGBTQ+ friendly legislation through the House and Senate. If Crowell goes after Shane and Ilya, he is going to get a very angry call from the President of the United States asking why the fuck he’s trying to screw the happy ending of a multi-nation rescue effort.

Like. Crowell just simply cannot afford to touch them. No one is investigating them. No one is making smarmy press releases about supporting traditional family values in the wake of this. Because the eyes of the world are suddenly turned in their direction, and the US specifically wants to make this into the part of a romance movie where the two love interests get to ride off happily into the sunset. If the NHL breaks from that narrative to investigate Shane and Ilya, it becomes increasingly likely that someone decides to turn around and investigate them.

The NHL is frankly a cesspit of systemic abuse. Like. The more I learn about it, the more horrifying it becomes. There was a case in the 90s where a couple of employees of the Toronto Maple Leaves were using their position to sexually abuse children in the stadium. One person eventually broke an NDA the Maple Leaves got him to sign about it and went public, and more than 100 people called the police to say the exact same thing happened to them. Some of them claimed that they’d been calling the Maple leaves for years telling them what had happened and that those employees should not be anywhere near children and they were just. Not investigating. And letting it continue. For years.

The NHL just. Routinely mishandles reports of abuse—verbal abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse. At most, people get slaps on the wrist before they’re reinstated a few years later, which is exactly what happened to a GM who covered up the fact that a Chicago Blackhawks coach was sexually assault one of his own players. He had to step down and was reinstated three years later, and he was immediately rehired by another team. The same bad actors never leave.

And it mishandles other reports too. Multiple players died from complications arising from CTE, a condition that arises from repeat blunt force head trauma, and the NHL purposefully elected not to investigate the condition so they could keep sending players back out post head trauma. Their favorite thing to do is to turn a blind eye.

There are just too many skeletons in the NHL’s closet, and if they piss off multiple world governments, then suddenly those same world governments may get very interested in investigating why their closet doors are always locked. They are gritting their goddamn teeth and shipping Hollanov or they risk sinking the entire boat.

For similar reasons, the Metros cannot get rid of Shane Hollander. They cannot hate crime Shane Hollander. The parasocial relationship he’s in with the entire country has now expanded to encompass an alarming percentage of the human population. The Metros owner is personally attending almost every home game now because every time a visiting dignitary that even vaguely supports queer rights is in the country, they attend a metros game to get a photo op with Shane Hollander. Members of multiple royal families have decided to attend a Metros game. You do not just fucking pass that kind of networking up.

Most people/megacorps that own hockey teams do not exclusively own a hockey team. Sports teams are the billionaire version of an investment property. Their fingers tend to be in many other pies.

Fuck off wealthy businessmen would absolutely kill for the opportunity to rub elbows with world leaders and major politicians that do shit like pass the legislation that affects their other business enterprises. No one on the metros is touching a hair on Shane Hollander’s billion dollar head. Ownership is not letting anything risk this for them.

I think the Metros still struggle in the wake of this. Some of the players are just straight up homophobic. The coach is straight up homophobic. His ass is immediately fired the second it gets back to the owner that he called Shane Hollander a faggot in the locker rooms upon his he return. Players who start shit or who stop playing well with Shane are offloaded. They are traded or sent down to the goddamn AHL.

The Metros cannot afford otherwise. The President of the United States is personally invested in Shane Hollander being one of the faces of gay rights, and they do not want that face to be “even in the best case scenario you will still be ✨hate crimed✨.” The liberal political party in both America and Canada share that investment.

Even beyond politics, the viewership on their broadcast just fucking skyrocketed from already-high numbers to a fuck-off record breaking high because all of those random people who’d never heard of the Metros before the Olympics are tuning in to see their boy again. And also the team is located in goddamn Montreal.

Again, Montreal is one of the most queer-friendly cities in North America, and it has been for a very long time. It has the oldest queer business on the fucking continent. Its gay village is the largest on the continent. And that is a city that loves to fucking riot. When Shane Hollander was outed as gay while in fucking Russia, the prime minister had to go on tv and beg the people of Montreal to not fly to Russia and try to take the riot to Putin because so many of them immediately bought fucking plane tickets to do exactly that. There were an alarming number of middle aged hockey dads who were convinced they were the key to Bringing Their Man Home.

Shane and Ilya went back to Montreal together as part of their Haha Thank You World For Saving Our Lives tour that they have to white knuckle their way through following their return and you would have thought it was goddamn pride month. Montreal was so so ready to embrace its gay hockey boy. They have never loved him more, and they already loved him to an alarming degree. Ilya makes it three days there getting the shovel talk from what feels like the entire population of Quebec before he’s like. Shane. You are being stalked by the entire city that you live in. And Shane’s like. Stalking is a very strong word. And Ilya’s like. Shane. There are shrines to you on what feels like every street in this city. You are like the gay hockey pope to them. And Shane like. Not loving the use of the word “pope” in that sentence. But. Sort of. Yeah.

The metros have no option but to pull the plug on anyone who is not willing to work with Shane after this. He is just worth too much money to them. The entire team would be rebuilt around them if needs must.

I think the cups go the same way they do in canon. Ilya still wins his immediately after Sochi. He would feel like he needed to prove himself more than ever. He just got driven out of his home country. Multiple world leaders had to intervene to get him out alive. Shane Hollander had to set his own life on fire to get him out, and if we go the route that I mentioned in the tags of the last post and say it was the Vegas rooftop kiss that did them in, then Ilya would be blaming himself because he initiated that kiss to begin with. And if you say the Metros had to be rebuilt around Shane because some of them were homophobic to him after, he would feel even worse about it, because he would feel like he had concrete proof that helping him made Shane’s life worse.

Ilya would need that goddamn win. He would want to prove to himself and to the rest of the world that he wasn’t just the guy whose country washed out at the Olympics and then immediately tried to kill him after. He’d want the cup to prove to himself and everyone else that he was worth the effort that went into saving him.

The next year, Shane would be the one that would need the win more than ever. His team just had to be rebuilt around him because he was too gay for some of them to work with him. He is someone who has always changed himself to conform with hockey. This is the first time ever that hockey conformed to fit him, and there would be a lot of people criticizing the team’s performance while it was still being rebuilt and saying he was not worth the effort they put into it. He’d be desperate to prove that he could still do this even though he was gay and with Ilya. So I think he still gets his back-to-back Stanley Cup wins.

I don’t think Shane and Ilya face each other in the playoffs immediately after Sochi. I think Shane’s team washes out because the coaching staff and multiple players had to be suddenly replaced mid-season. And there would be an agonizing amount of commentary around that fact. The blame for the metros suddenly failing would be placed squarely at Shane’s feet. His leadership and his ability to play would be questioned endlessly.

SOCHI OUTING AU

PART 1 (Original post - anon ask.)

MEMES POST 1 (All that touching is NOT working in Putin's favor now.)

PART 2 (Where is their wedding? How public is the spectacle? Private?)

PART 3 (The Catching Fire of it all is literally killing me. They both wanted it but they're trapped by it.)

PART 4 (What happens after with the NHL? How does it affect teams?)

PART 5 (JJ locks the fuck IN for his boy. He's #StandingWithHollanov - ignore the throwing up happening in the background)

PART 6 (The Boston Raiders lock the fuck IN for THEIR boy. "Who HASN'T had gay thoughts about Shane Hollander???")

also if jj and hayden are in Crisis, how are the bears taking it? because personally i'm imagining marlow tweeting about "oh hell yeah brother this makes so much sense!!! of course your montreal jane is hollander!" because his boy deserves only the best. his tweets about this and how the best is obviously Hockey Superstar And Noted Model, Shane Hollander go viral.

In the immediate aftermath of this, the Boston Raiders try to I Am Spartacus their boy’s sexuality. It goes. Poorly.

Fundamentally, the issue is that they just get in front of a camera and let Cliff Marleau speak for them without first planning what they’re going to say.

The thing is, they are made immediately aware of the fact that Ilya Rozanov being gay in Russia endangers #theirboy’s continued existence and also his ability to return to their muscular embrace. They cannot abide by this. Free their man.

They decide to take the hard stance that Ilya Rozanov is NOT gay. They are aware that there is video proof that he shoved Shane Hollander against a wall and then also his tongue down Shane Hollander’s throat. It was NOT in a gay kind of way. How. How could that not be in a gay kind of way. Well. You see. That’s because it was Shane Hollander. It is NOT gay if it’s for Shane Hollander. You DO NOT have to be gay to be down for Shane Hollander. That is still a totally straight experience. They’ve all thought about it. All of them. Isn’t. Isn’t that right boys?

The Boston Raiders feel this is a large demand to ask of their brotherhood but are willing to commit nevertheless. They. They sure have thought of that. All. All of them. They’ve all thought about shoving Shane Hollander against the wall and kissing him with tongue. And that’s a normal, straight person experience. The whole NHL thinks that, even.

If, if anything, it’s their fault the kiss happened. Because Ilya does not want to kiss Shane Hollander. He wants to kiss Shane Hollander the least out of all of them, because. Rivals. But he, he was obviously drunk as shit when this happened, and they’ve. Talked.

About it.

Around him.

They. They totally talk about wanting to take Shane Hollander manfully against a wall to and around Ilya. They do that all the time. And Ilya is not into it. Because he is straight and. Rivalry. They, the Boston Raiders, they just. Talked about wanting to kiss and. Do other things. To Shane Hollander so, so much around Ilya that it. It just totally confused his drunken mind. Maybe one of them even dared him to do it. Carmichael thinks that maybe. Maybe he can remember daring him to do that.

Anyway uh. If there’s anyone who’s gay for Shane Hollander, it’s, it’s them, and not Ilya Rozanov, who is 100% straight. So uh. Shane Hollander if you’re ever, ever thinking about exploring some things about yourself, maybe. Give the Boston Raiders a call. They’re. They’re ready for you, stallion. But uh. Not Ilya Rozanov. Because he is straight.

Free their man.

Thank you for your time.

This does not fucking help quell the international attention suddenly focused on them. It does not fucking do that at all. The Boston Raiders announcing that Shane Hollander is a source of shared and lustful fixation for the entire team bar Ilya Rozanov, who is straight, is televised in more than 30 countries.

Shane and Ilya see this several hours after it happens when they’ve fully committed to the narrative that they’re in gay love with each other and have finally managed to battle their way into the Canadian embassy. And it’s just.

Shane: *face buried in his own hands*

Ilya: those fucking idiots

SOCHI OUTING AU

PART 1 (Original post - anon ask.)

MEMES POST 1 (All that touching is NOT working in Putin's favor now.)

PART 2 (Where is their wedding? How public is the spectacle? Private?)

PART 3 (The Catching Fire of it all is literally killing me. They both wanted it but they're trapped by it.)

PART 4 (What happens after with the NHL? How does it affect teams?)

PART 5 (JJ locks the fuck IN for his boy. He's #StandingWithHollanov - ignore the throwing up happening in the background)

PART 6 (The Boston Raiders lock the fuck IN for THEIR boy. "Who HASN'T had gay thoughts about Shane Hollander???")

Because JJ is literally Shane's roommate at the Olympics, also playing for Team Canada, there are international reporters sticking microphones in his face for a quote IMMEDIATELY, he's gotta publically be a ride-or-die and he's gotta be one now

Meanwhile Hayden is safe at home with Jackie & the twins, and obviously he calls Shane the second Shane's back on Canadian soil to let him know he's his best friend no matter what, even questionable taste in men, and Shane's like "thanks for the support man love you too but uhhh you should not be seen in public with me except at the rink for a very long while because there are crazy people and Russian assassins and crazy Russian assassins who definitely want me dead, and I don't want to share any of that attention with you or Jackie or the kids"

The dynamics would be sooo different in the Sochi Outing AU.

In my mind, J.J. locks the fuck in early, hard, and fast. Like does he love this relationship? Absolutely not. Did he sort of assume that Ilya had just forced a kiss on Shane during Vegas and Shane was faking an entire gay romance to get this asshole out of Russia alive because he was Just That Good Of A Person until Shane accidentally drops the lore to him that they do in fact have biblical knowledge of one another? Yes. Does he think Shane can do better?

Unequivocally.

But that is his fucking boy and J.J. is NOT leaving him in Russia. Shane isn’t leaving without Ilya? Well J.J. isn’t leaving without Shane so Canada’s about to have two Olympians who play for the team with the least normal fanbase (affectionate) on the entire fucking continent die in Russian immigration detention unless this shit gets figured out. Your move, diplomats.

The diplomats really need all of their Olympians to shut the fuck up while they sort this. But they. Are not doing this. It’s just:

J.J., did not get a chance to figure out a story with Shane in advance, has decided the move is to vaguely imply that he Knew The Whole Time without directly confirming either way: *struggling to keep a straight face* it has been the honor of my life to see their love blossom

Carter “Ally” Vaughn, has very suddenly discovered his allyship demands more than just like. Going to watch men’s figure skating: you know when I, when I see them together, I believe in love

J.J., fighting his own gag reflex: the magnetism between them is just. Undeniable.

Scott Hunter, has had WWII air raid sirens going off in his head since this entire mess started: *nodding along* that was really beautifully said

Meanwhile in Canada Hayden Pike is in crisis. His best buddy in the whole world is trying to throw down the gauntlet with fucking Putin for the sake of some Awful Fucking Man. Who he is??? In love with???? Hayden cannot tell if this is a serious relationship or just Shane faking an entire gay romance to get some asshole who forced a kiss on him out of Russia alive because he’s Just That Good Of A Person. Is Shane gay like, for real? Is he gay for Ilya Rozanov?

Did he.

Did he tell J.J. instead of Hayden?

Does Hayden not look like an ally?? Does his buddy think he’s too homophobic to tell him about his star-crossed gay love???? Hayden is in tears. He just wants Shane to be happy and fulfilled and if that means Ilya Rozanov then Hayden can come to terms with that, eventually, he thinks, probably after heavy therapy. Does Shane not know how much he loves him? Because he thought that Shane knew that and if he didn’t know that then Hayden needs him to know that. Hayden is taking his own pulse.

If any of you are gay AND good at hockey, please come out now we will send yiu to america you can try to shoot your shot with shane hollander, we will sponsor.

because certainly someone will realise that the most important part of shane hollander's taste in men is their hockey prowess. it's in the smash or pass they played with rose.

Post 1 (OG post. Fic first mentioned in tags of Snapping Birch post.)

Post 2 (Shabortion. Carter Vaughn suffers. Ilya suffers. Boston suffers.)

Post 3 (Scott is homophobic. Carter Vaughn is bi and disrespectful.)

Post 4 (Ilya's Terrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day(s))

Post 5 (The NHL can just LIE?! About Hockey God, Shane Hollander?!)

Post 6 (Scott is homophobic. Rose can shoot him. RIP Carter Vaughn)

Post 7 (Shane finds out about the omegaverse and he WILL abort.)

Post 8 (Rose's 12th stalker works for her home security company. Shit.)

Post 9 (Matti Jalo enters the chat only to wave sadly at Carter Vaughn.)

Post 10 (Scott Hunter knows NOTHING. Sorry Vaughny.)

Post 11 (Montreal is on fire. Montreal loves✌🏽things. Queers & hockey)

Post 12 (Nobody suspects Hayden or JJ - Carter Vaughn or bust.)

Post 13 (Rose DONT shoot Scott Hunter. You still need a Grammy)

Post 14 (Hayden & JJ wish they did right by Shane after the hit.)

Post 15 (What happened that plotful night, Shane Edition.)

Post 16 (Rose did NOT consider Ilya in Smash or Pass. Ilya rages.)

Post 17 (Gay smoothie-rista, Kip Grady is dating a hockey player???)

Post 18 (Rose and Shane think They Are Fading - actually cryptids.)

Post 19 (NHL ranking: skilled enough for Shane to want to fuck you?)

Post 20 (People think Vaughn fucked Shane. Ilya: "STOLEN VALOR")

Post 21 (Does Kip know who Shane's disrespectful bisexual lover is?)

Post 22 (Rose and Shane: The Bestie Reverse Suicide Pact Love Story)

Post 23 (What happened that plotful night, Rose Edition.)

Post 24 (Fucking Denmark??? Also...Cameras 2: Electric Boogaloo)

MEMES PART 1 (Denmark?! Poaching THEEEEE Shane Hollander?!)

MEMES PART 2 (Carter v Ilya, Hollandry v Public, Canada v Shane.)

MEMES PART 3 (President Sanders, Kip is Tired, Hollandry)

MEMES PART 4 (#GodSaveTheRaiders, #GodSaveVaughny)

MEMES PART 5 (#GodAndPertussisBlessPresidentSanders)

MEMES PART 6 (Hollandry and the Danes)

MEMES PART 7 (Kip🫱🏼‍🫲🏾Vaughn, Hollandry v Stalker, Ilya v Carter)

Post 25 (Sweden enters the chat. Denmark and Canada are typing.)

MEMES PART 8 (Hollandry v Bread, Carter Vaughn v The Public)

Post 26 (Someone get Sveta, the Boston Bros need a fucking break.)

Post 27 (Vaccines for everyone EXCEPT for that one baby.)

MEMES PART 9 (Carter the Sex Freak & Sweden Guerrilla Marketing)

MEMES PART 10 (Crashout Count: Raiders, Montreal, Ilya, Scott...)

Post 28 (Sweden and Denmark are changing TAX LAWS for Shane)

MEMES PART 11 (Shane is marked safe from Cave Diving)

Post 29 (Sports fans are crazy on another level. Hollanov Suffers™)

MEMES PART 12 (The Raiders are dead to Ilya. Kip is Bro now.)

Post 30 (The politics and personal/cultural identity wrapped in sports.)

MEMES PART 13 (Woman and her gay best friend.)

MEMES PART 14 (Hollandry v Living, Scott v Public, Raiders v Ilya)

Post 31 (AU-ception. The Bachelor AU - Kidnapping Edition)

Post 32 (Ilya is aware that Shane is headed for a cliff & MUST find him)

Post 33 (It could be worse. They could have done heroin about it.)

MEMES PART 15 (🖕🏼the NHL, More Guerrilla Marketing - Ilya Edition)

MEMES PART 16 (Needs another monster labeled "cave diving")

MEMES PART 17 (Decisions decisions...)

Post 34 (All Hail President Bernie Sanders 🙌🏽)

Post 35 (Crashout/Snapping Birch Crossover, WHERE IS YOUR ILYA?)

Post 36 (Crossover Cont, SERIOUSLY SHANE - WHERE IS YOUR ILYA?)

Post 37 (Someone (not Shane!) needs to give Carter Vaughn a hug.)

MEMES PART 18 (Everything and everyone is on fire.)

MEMES PART 19 (Ilya is a feral dog. The Raiders need to tie him down.)

Post 38 (Crossover Cont, The Raiders see 2 Ilyas and just Give Up™)

Post 39 (Sometimes you 'besties for the restie' too close to the sun.)

Post 40 (Hollandry are trying REALLY REALLY hard.)

Post 41 (Agency, healing, Hollandry coming back on their own terms.)

Post 42 (Rose lets Shane terrorize American roadways as enrichment.)

Post 43 (Rose: Do you want to form an alliance with me? Shane: 🫱🏼‍🫲🏻)

Post 44 (Canada: We have Canadian gays for your son. Yuna+David:😰)

MEMES PART 20 (Montreal murder/suicide, Loss.jpg - Shane Edition)

Post 45 (Is Shane Dodging and Weaving DHS? Obligatory🖕🏼🧊)

Post 46 ("only good thing about trash who hatecrimed My Shane is how breakable his bones are." - Ilya probably)

MEMES PART 21 (Shane, Scott, Carter, & Ilya - "this is fine 🫠☕🔥")

Post 47 (Ilya is gnawing - slightly less - at the bars of his enclosure.)

ART POST 1 (Consider Sweden 🏒🏳️‍🌈🇸🇪 - but make it sad.)

Post 48 (Rose's backstory and real-world equivalents.)

Post 49 (Countries audition for the role of Shane's disrespectful lover)

TW: suicide, suicidal thoughts

Post 1 (OG post. Fic first mentioned in tags of Snapping Birch post.)

Post 2 (Shabortion. Carter Vaughn suffers. Ilya suffers. Boston suffers.)

Post 3 (Scott is homophobic. Carter Vaughn is bi and disrespectful.)

Post 4 (Ilya's Terrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day(s))

Post 5 (The NHL can just LIE?! About Hockey God, Shane Hollander?!)

Post 6 (Scott is homophobic. Rose can shoot him. RIP Carter Vaughn)

Post 7 (Shane finds out about the omegaverse and he WILL abort.)

Post 8 (Rose's 12th stalker works for her home security company. Shit.)

Post 9 (Matti Jalo enters the chat only to wave sadly at Carter Vaughn.)

Post 10 (Scott Hunter knows NOTHING. Sorry Vaughny.)

Post 11 (Montreal is on fire. Montreal loves✌🏽things. Queers & hockey)

Post 12 (Nobody suspects Hayden or JJ - Carter Vaughn or bust.)

Post 13 (Rose DONT shoot Scott Hunter. You still need a Grammy)

Post 14 (Hayden & JJ wish they did right by Shane after the hit.)

Post 15 (What happened that plotful night, Shane Edition.)

Post 16 (Rose did NOT consider Ilya in Smash or Pass. Ilya rages.)

Post 17 (Gay smoothie-rista, Kip Grady is dating a hockey player???)

Post 18 (Rose and Shane think They Are Fading - actually cryptids.)

Post 19 (NHL ranking: skilled enough for Shane to want to fuck you?)

Post 20 (People think Vaughn fucked Shane. Ilya: "STOLEN VALOR")

Post 21 (Does Kip know who Shane's disrespectful bisexual lover is?)

Post 22 (Rose and Shane: The Bestie Reverse Suicide Pact Love Story)

Post 23 (What happened that plotful night, Rose Edition.)

Post 24 (Fucking Denmark??? Also...Cameras 2: Electric Boogaloo)

MEMES PART 1 (Denmark?! Poaching THEEEEE Shane Hollander?!)

MEMES PART 2 (Carter v Ilya, Hollandry v Public, Canada v Shane.)

MEMES PART 3 (President Sanders, Kip is Tired, Hollandry)

MEMES PART 4 (#GodSaveTheRaiders, #GodSaveVaughny)

MEMES PART 5 (#GodAndPertussisBlessPresidentSanders)

MEMES PART 6 (Hollandry and the Danes)

MEMES PART 7 (Kip🫱🏼‍🫲🏾Vaughn, Hollandry v Stalker, Ilya v Carter)

Post 25 (Sweden enters the chat. Denmark and Canada are typing.)

MEMES PART 8 (Hollandry v Bread, Carter Vaughn v The Public)

Post 26 (Someone get Sveta, the Boston Bros need a fucking break.)

Post 27 (Vaccines for everyone EXCEPT for that one baby.)

MEMES PART 9 (Carter the Sex Freak & Sweden Guerrilla Marketing)

MEMES PART 10 (Crashout Count: Raiders, Montreal, Ilya, Scott...)

Post 28 (Sweden and Denmark are changing TAX LAWS for Shane)

MEMES PART 11 (Shane is marked safe from Cave Diving)

Post 29 (Sports fans are crazy on another level. Hollanov Suffers™)

MEMES PART 12 (The Raiders are dead to Ilya. Kip is Bro now.)

Post 30 (The politics and personal/cultural identity wrapped in sports.)

MEMES PART 13 (Woman and her gay best friend.)

MEMES PART 14 (Hollandry v Living, Scott v Public, Raiders v Ilya)

Post 31 (AU-ception. The Bachelor AU - Kidnapping Edition)

Post 32 (Ilya is aware that Shane is headed for a cliff & MUST find him)

Post 33 (It could be worse. They could have done heroin about it.)

MEMES PART 15 (🖕🏼the NHL, More Guerrilla Marketing - Ilya Edition)

MEMES PART 16 (Needs another monster labeled "cave diving")

MEMES PART 17 (Decisions decisions...)

Post 34 (All Hail President Bernie Sanders 🙌🏽)

Post 35 (Crashout/Snapping Birch Crossover, WHERE IS YOUR ILYA?)

Post 36 (Crossover Cont, SERIOUSLY SHANE - WHERE IS YOUR ILYA?)

Post 37 (Someone (not Shane!) needs to give Carter Vaughn a hug.)

MEMES PART 18 (Everything and everyone is on fire.)

MEMES PART 19 (Ilya is a feral dog. The Raiders need to tie him down.)

Post 38 (Crossover Cont, The Raiders see 2 Ilyas and just Give Up™)

Post 39 (Sometimes you 'besties for the restie' too close to the sun.)

Post 40 (Hollandry are trying REALLY REALLY hard.)

Post 41 (Agency, healing, Hollandry coming back on their own terms.)

Post 42 (Rose lets Shane terrorize American roadways as enrichment.)

Post 43 (Rose: Do you want to form an alliance with me? Shane: 🫱🏼‍🫲🏻)

Post 44 (Canada: We have Canadian gays for your son. Yuna+David:😰)

MEMES PART 20 (Montreal murder/suicide, Loss.jpg - Shane Edition)

Post 45 (Is Shane Dodging and Weaving DHS? Obligatory🖕🏼🧊)

Post 46 ("only good thing about trash who hatecrimed My Shane is how breakable his bones are." - Ilya probably)

MEMES PART 21 (Shane, Scott, Carter, & Ilya - "this is fine 🫠☕🔥")

Post 47 (Ilya is gnawing - slightly less - at the bars of his enclosure.)

ART POST 1 (Consider Sweden 🏒🏳️‍🌈🇸🇪 - but make it sad.)

Post 48 (Rose's backstory and real-world equivalents.)

Post 49 (Countries audition for the role of Shane's disrespectful lover)

Post 1 (OG post. Fic first mentioned in tags of Snapping Birch post.)

Post 2 (Shabortion. Carter Vaughn suffers. Ilya suffers. Boston suffers.)

Post 3 (Scott is homophobic. Carter Vaughn is bi and disrespectful.)

Post 4 (Ilya's Terrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day(s))

Post 5 (The NHL can just LIE?! About Hockey God, Shane Hollander?!)

Post 6 (Scott is homophobic. Rose can shoot him. RIP Carter Vaughn)

Post 7 (Shane finds out about the omegaverse and he WILL abort.)

Post 8 (Rose's 12th stalker works for her home security company. Shit.)

Post 9 (Matti Jalo enters the chat only to wave sadly at Carter Vaughn.)

Post 10 (Scott Hunter knows NOTHING. Sorry Vaughny.)

Post 11 (Montreal is on fire. Montreal loves✌🏽things. Queers & hockey)

Post 12 (Nobody suspects Hayden or JJ - Carter Vaughn or bust.)

Post 13 (Rose DONT shoot Scott Hunter. You still need a Grammy)

Post 14 (Hayden & JJ wish they did right by Shane after the hit.)

Post 15 (What happened that plotful night, Shane Edition.)

Post 16 (Rose did NOT consider Ilya in Smash or Pass. Ilya rages.)

Post 17 (Gay smoothie-rista, Kip Grady is dating a hockey player???)

Post 18 (Rose and Shane think They Are Fading - actually cryptids.)

Post 19 (NHL ranking: skilled enough for Shane to want to fuck you?)

Post 20 (People think Vaughn fucked Shane. Ilya: "STOLEN VALOR")

Post 21 (Does Kip know who Shane's disrespectful bisexual lover is?)

Post 22 (Rose and Shane: The Bestie Reverse Suicide Pact Love Story)

Post 23 (What happened that plotful night, Rose Edition.)

Post 24 (Fucking Denmark??? Also...Cameras 2: Electric Boogaloo)

MEMES PART 1 (Denmark?! Poaching THEEEEE Shane Hollander?!)

MEMES PART 2 (Carter v Ilya, Hollandry v Public, Canada v Shane.)

MEMES PART 3 (President Sanders, Kip is Tired, Hollandry)

MEMES PART 4 (#GodSaveTheRaiders, #GodSaveVaughny)

MEMES PART 5 (#GodAndPertussisBlessPresidentSanders)

MEMES PART 6 (Hollandry and the Danes)

MEMES PART 7 (Kip🫱🏼‍🫲🏾Vaughn, Hollandry v Stalker, Ilya v Carter)

Post 25 (Sweden enters the chat. Denmark and Canada are typing.)

MEMES PART 8 (Hollandry v Bread, Carter Vaughn v The Public)

Post 26 (Someone get Sveta, the Boston Bros need a fucking break.)

Post 27 (Vaccines for everyone EXCEPT for that one baby.)

MEMES PART 9 (Carter the Sex Freak & Sweden Guerrilla Marketing)

MEMES PART 10 (Crashout Count: Raiders, Montreal, Ilya, Scott...)

Post 28 (Sweden and Denmark are changing TAX LAWS for Shane)

MEMES PART 11 (Shane is marked safe from Cave Diving)

Post 29 (Sports fans are crazy on another level. Hollanov Suffers™)

MEMES PART 12 (The Raiders are dead to Ilya. Kip is Bro now.)

Post 30 (The politics and personal/cultural identity wrapped in sports.)

MEMES PART 13 (Woman and her gay best friend.)

MEMES PART 14 (Hollandry v Living, Scott v Public, Raiders v Ilya)

Post 31 (AU-ception. The Bachelor AU - Kidnapping Edition)

Post 32 (Ilya is aware that Shane is headed for a cliff & MUST find him)

Post 33 (It could be worse. They could have done heroin about it.)

MEMES PART 15 (🖕🏼the NHL, More Guerrilla Marketing - Ilya Edition)

MEMES PART 16 (Needs another monster labeled "cave diving")

MEMES PART 17 (Decisions decisions...)

Post 34 (All Hail President Bernie Sanders 🙌🏽)

Post 35 (Crashout/Snapping Birch Crossover, WHERE IS YOUR ILYA?)

Post 36 (Crossover Cont, SERIOUSLY SHANE - WHERE IS YOUR ILYA?)

Post 37 (Someone (not Shane!) needs to give Carter Vaughn a hug.)

MEMES PART 18 (Everything and everyone is on fire.)

MEMES PART 19 (Ilya is a feral dog. The Raiders need to tie him down.)

Post 38 (Crossover Cont, The Raiders see 2 Ilyas and just Give Up™)

Post 39 (Sometimes you 'besties for the restie' too close to the sun.)

Post 40 (Hollandry are trying REALLY REALLY hard.)

Post 41 (Agency, healing, Hollandry coming back on their own terms.)

Post 42 (Rose lets Shane terrorize American roadways as enrichment.)

Post 43 (Rose: Do you want to form an alliance with me? Shane: 🫱🏼‍🫲🏻)

Post 44 (Canada: We have Canadian gays for your son. Yuna+David:😰)

MEMES PART 20 (Montreal murder/suicide, Loss.jpg - Shane Edition)

Post 45 (Is Shane Dodging and Weaving DHS? Obligatory🖕🏼🧊)

Post 46 ("only good thing about trash who hatecrimed My Shane is how breakable his bones are." - Ilya probably)

MEMES PART 21 (Shane, Scott, Carter, & Ilya - "this is fine 🫠☕🔥")

Post 47 (Ilya is gnawing - slightly less - at the bars of his enclosure.)

ART POST 1 (Consider Sweden 🏒🏳️‍🌈🇸🇪 - but make it sad.)

Post 48 (Rose's backstory and real-world equivalents.)

Post 49 (Countries audition for the role of Shane's disrespectful lover)

Who says they have to get caught?

Post 1 (OG post. Fic first mentioned in tags of Snapping Birch post.)

Post 2 (Shabortion. Carter Vaughn suffers. Ilya suffers. Boston suffers.)

Post 3 (Scott is homophobic. Carter Vaughn is bi and disrespectful.)

Post 4 (Ilya's Terrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day(s))

Post 5 (The NHL can just LIE?! About Hockey God, Shane Hollander?!)

Post 6 (Scott is homophobic. Rose can shoot him. RIP Carter Vaughn)

Post 7 (Shane finds out about the omegaverse and he WILL abort.)

Post 8 (Rose's 12th stalker works for her home security company. Shit.)

Post 9 (Matti Jalo enters the chat only to wave sadly at Carter Vaughn.)

Post 10 (Scott Hunter knows NOTHING. Sorry Vaughny.)

Post 11 (Montreal is on fire. Montreal loves✌🏽things. Queers & hockey)

Post 12 (Nobody suspects Hayden or JJ - Carter Vaughn or bust.)

Post 13 (Rose DONT shoot Scott Hunter. You still need a Grammy)

Post 14 (Hayden & JJ wish they did right by Shane after the hit.)

Post 15 (What happened that plotful night, Shane Edition.)

Post 16 (Rose did NOT consider Ilya in Smash or Pass. Ilya rages.)

Post 17 (Gay smoothie-rista, Kip Grady is dating a hockey player???)

Post 18 (Rose and Shane think They Are Fading - actually cryptids.)

Post 19 (NHL ranking: skilled enough for Shane to want to fuck you?)

Post 20 (People think Vaughn fucked Shane. Ilya: "STOLEN VALOR")

Post 21 (Does Kip know who Shane's disrespectful bisexual lover is?)

Post 22 (Rose and Shane: The Bestie Reverse Suicide Pact Love Story)

Post 23 (What happened that plotful night, Rose Edition.)

Post 24 (Fucking Denmark??? Also...Cameras 2: Electric Boogaloo)

MEMES PART 1 (Denmark?! Poaching THEEEEE Shane Hollander?!)

MEMES PART 2 (Carter v Ilya, Hollandry v Public, Canada v Shane.)

MEMES PART 3 (President Sanders, Kip is Tired, Hollandry)

MEMES PART 4 (#GodSaveTheRaiders, #GodSaveVaughny)

MEMES PART 5 (#GodAndPertussisBlessPresidentSanders)

MEMES PART 6 (Hollandry and the Danes)

MEMES PART 7 (Kip🫱🏼‍🫲🏾Vaughn, Hollandry v Stalker, Ilya v Carter)

Post 25 (Sweden enters the chat. Denmark and Canada are typing.)

MEMES PART 8 (Hollandry v Bread, Carter Vaughn v The Public)

Post 26 (Someone get Sveta, the Boston Bros need a fucking break.)

Post 27 (Vaccines for everyone EXCEPT for that one baby.)

MEMES PART 9 (Carter the Sex Freak & Sweden Guerrilla Marketing)

MEMES PART 10 (Crashout Count: Raiders, Montreal, Ilya, Scott...)

Post 28 (Sweden and Denmark are changing TAX LAWS for Shane)

MEMES PART 11 (Shane is marked safe from Cave Diving)

Post 29 (Sports fans are crazy on another level. Hollanov Suffers™)

MEMES PART 12 (The Raiders are dead to Ilya. Kip is Bro now.)

Post 30 (The politics and personal/cultural identity wrapped in sports.)

MEMES PART 13 (Woman and her gay best friend.)

MEMES PART 14 (Hollandry v Living, Scott v Public, Raiders v Ilya)

Post 31 (AU-ception. The Bachelor AU - Kidnapping Edition)

Post 32 (Ilya is aware that Shane is headed for a cliff & MUST find him)

Post 33 (It could be worse. They could have done heroin about it.)

MEMES PART 15 (🖕🏼the NHL, More Guerrilla Marketing - Ilya Edition)

MEMES PART 16 (Needs another monster labeled "cave diving")

MEMES PART 17 (Decisions decisions...)

Post 34 (All Hail President Bernie Sanders 🙌🏽)

Post 35 (Crashout/Snapping Birch Crossover, WHERE IS YOUR ILYA?)

Post 36 (Crossover Cont, SERIOUSLY SHANE - WHERE IS YOUR ILYA?)

Post 37 (Someone (not Shane!) needs to give Carter Vaughn a hug.)

MEMES PART 18 (Everything and everyone is on fire.)

MEMES PART 19 (Ilya is a feral dog. The Raiders need to tie him down.)

Post 38 (Crossover Cont, The Raiders see 2 Ilyas and just Give Up™)

Post 39 (Sometimes you 'besties for the restie' too close to the sun.)

Post 40 (Hollandry are trying REALLY REALLY hard.)

Post 41 (Agency, healing, Hollandry coming back on their own terms.)

Post 42 (Rose lets Shane terrorize American roadways as enrichment.)

Post 43 (Rose: Do you want to form an alliance with me? Shane: 🫱🏼‍🫲🏻)

Post 44 (Canada: We have Canadian gays for your son. Yuna+David:😰)

MEMES PART 20 (Montreal murder/suicide, Loss.jpg - Shane Edition)

Post 45 (Is Shane Dodging and Weaving DHS? Obligatory🖕🏼🧊)

Post 46 ("only good thing about trash who hatecrimed My Shane is how breakable his bones are." - Ilya probably)

MEMES PART 21 (Shane, Scott, Carter, & Ilya - "this is fine 🫠☕🔥")

Post 47 (Ilya is gnawing - slightly less - at the bars of his enclosure.)

ART POST 1 (Consider Sweden 🏒🏳️‍🌈🇸🇪 - but make it sad.)

Post 48 (Rose's backstory and real-world equivalents.)

Post 49 (Countries audition for the role of Shane's disrespectful lover)

THAT SAID if you get down to the core of it, they removed themselves from the traumatizing situation, invested in a supportive relationship (each other), and started Doing Hobbies and Living Life which is like. pretty much the trauma playbook. AGAIN the isolation thing is not ideal, and they’re definitely going to have to at least acknowledge that the whole experience was fucking traumatizing. but mostly they are in fact getting at least a solid B in therapy. which (given the Must Be Perfect of it all) in and of itself is probably at least a little therapeutic for not being an A+. like i cannot stress enough the fact that doing lots of bullshit and being kind of crap at it is probably the best course of action for them. and if they have to do a bizarre road trip about it, well there are worse things. like heroin.

Legitimately they are doing their best! Like I love them so much because it’s such a bonkers problem solving method but I also thought that it would be their most sincere effort towards getting out of this together.

Like, so much of what they’re doing is driven by love for the other. They know that the other isn’t fucking getting out of this alone. It’s both of them or neither. So they both decide to give their absolute best attempt at recovery because it’s the only way they can save the other.

It is a last ditch effort. But it’s an effort. They knew they physically couldn’t handle the fallout, so they fucked off. They got as far away from that environment as possible, and honestly, it probably saved them. Rose could not have taken the questions about her rape. Shane could not have taken all of the jokes and the mocking and the backlash, especially after he was hate crimed.

They know each other. They know that neither of them is going to be able to handle retirement in their 20s. They need to feel like they have a purpose and devotion to fill their days. So they decide to go out and find one.

In a lot of ways, they’re on a bender, but in a lot of ways, it isn’t. They are sincerely trying to get better. They both recognized that they need to finally address their eating disorders and are trying to do that. It’d be going way better if they got actual treatment for them instead of just like. Trying to pep talk each other into eating a bagel. But they’re trying.

Post 1 (OG post. Fic first mentioned in tags of Snapping Birch post.)

Post 2 (Shabortion. Carter Vaughn suffers. Ilya suffers. Boston suffers.)

Post 3 (Scott is homophobic. Carter Vaughn is bi and disrespectful.)

Post 4 (Ilya's Terrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day(s))

Post 5 (The NHL can just LIE?! About Hockey God, Shane Hollander?!)

Post 6 (Scott is homophobic. Rose can shoot him. RIP Carter Vaughn)

Post 7 (Shane finds out about the omegaverse and he WILL abort.)

Post 8 (Rose's 12th stalker works for her home security company. Shit.)

Post 9 (Matti Jalo enters the chat only to wave sadly at Carter Vaughn.)

Post 10 (Scott Hunter knows NOTHING. Sorry Vaughny.)

Post 11 (Montreal is on fire. Montreal loves✌🏽things. Queers & hockey)

Post 12 (Nobody suspects Hayden or JJ - Carter Vaughn or bust.)

Post 13 (Rose DONT shoot Scott Hunter. You still need a Grammy)

Post 14 (Hayden & JJ wish they did right by Shane after the hit.)

Post 15 (What happened that plotful night, Shane Edition.)

Post 16 (Rose did NOT consider Ilya in Smash or Pass. Ilya rages.)

Post 17 (Gay smoothie-rista, Kip Grady is dating a hockey player???)

Post 18 (Rose and Shane think They Are Fading - actually cryptids.)

Post 19 (NHL ranking: skilled enough for Shane to want to fuck you?)

Post 20 (People think Vaughn fucked Shane. Ilya: "STOLEN VALOR")

Post 21 (Does Kip know who Shane's disrespectful bisexual lover is?)

Post 22 (Rose and Shane: The Bestie Reverse Suicide Pact Love Story)

Post 23 (What happened that plotful night, Rose Edition.)

Post 24 (Fucking Denmark??? Also...Cameras 2: Electric Boogaloo)

MEMES PART 1 (Denmark?! Poaching THEEEEE Shane Hollander?!)

MEMES PART 2 (Carter v Ilya, Hollandry v Public, Canada v Shane.)

MEMES PART 3 (President Sanders, Kip is Tired, Hollandry)

MEMES PART 4 (#GodSaveTheRaiders, #GodSaveVaughny)

MEMES PART 5 (#GodAndPertussisBlessPresidentSanders)

MEMES PART 6 (Hollandry and the Danes)

MEMES PART 7 (Kip🫱🏼‍🫲🏾Vaughn, Hollandry v Stalker, Ilya v Carter)

Post 25 (Sweden enters the chat. Denmark and Canada are typing.)

MEMES PART 8 (Hollandry v Bread, Carter Vaughn v The Public)

Post 26 (Someone get Sveta, the Boston Bros need a fucking break.)

Post 27 (Vaccines for everyone EXCEPT for that one baby.)

MEMES PART 9 (Carter the Sex Freak & Sweden Guerrilla Marketing)

MEMES PART 10 (Crashout Count: Raiders, Montreal, Ilya, Scott...)

Post 28 (Sweden and Denmark are changing TAX LAWS for Shane)

MEMES PART 11 (Shane is marked safe from Cave Diving)

Post 29 (Sports fans are crazy on another level. Hollanov Suffers™)

MEMES PART 12 (The Raiders are dead to Ilya. Kip is Bro now.)

Post 30 (The politics and personal/cultural identity wrapped in sports.)

MEMES PART 13 (Woman and her gay best friend.)

MEMES PART 14 (Hollandry v Living, Scott v Public, Raiders v Ilya)

Post 31 (AU-ception. The Bachelor AU - Kidnapping Edition)

Post 32 (Ilya is aware that Shane is headed for a cliff & MUST find him)

Post 33 (It could be worse. They could have done heroin about it.)

MEMES PART 15 (🖕🏼the NHL, More Guerrilla Marketing - Ilya Edition)

MEMES PART 16 (Needs another monster labeled "cave diving")

MEMES PART 17 (Decisions decisions...)

Post 34 (All Hail President Bernie Sanders 🙌🏽)

Post 35 (Crashout/Snapping Birch Crossover, WHERE IS YOUR ILYA?)

Post 36 (Crossover Cont, SERIOUSLY SHANE - WHERE IS YOUR ILYA?)

Post 37 (Someone (not Shane!) needs to give Carter Vaughn a hug.)

MEMES PART 18 (Everything and everyone is on fire.)

MEMES PART 19 (Ilya is a feral dog. The Raiders need to tie him down.)

Post 38 (Crossover Cont, The Raiders see 2 Ilyas and just Give Up™)

Post 39 (Sometimes you 'besties for the restie' too close to the sun.)

Post 40 (Hollandry are trying REALLY REALLY hard.)

Post 41 (Agency, healing, Hollandry coming back on their own terms.)

Post 42 (Rose lets Shane terrorize American roadways as enrichment.)

Post 43 (Rose: Do you want to form an alliance with me? Shane: 🫱🏼‍🫲🏻)

Post 44 (Canada: We have Canadian gays for your son. Yuna+David:😰)

MEMES PART 20 (Montreal murder/suicide, Loss.jpg - Shane Edition)

Post 45 (Is Shane Dodging and Weaving DHS? Obligatory🖕🏼🧊)

Post 46 ("only good thing about trash who hatecrimed My Shane is how breakable his bones are." - Ilya probably)

MEMES PART 21 (Shane, Scott, Carter, & Ilya - "this is fine 🫠☕🔥")

Post 47 (Ilya is gnawing - slightly less - at the bars of his enclosure.)

ART POST 1 (Consider Sweden 🏒🏳️‍🌈🇸🇪 - but make it sad.)

Post 48 (Rose's backstory and real-world equivalents.)

Post 49 (Countries audition for the role of Shane's disrespectful lover)