Inspirational Broccoli

my roomie without fail

ive been through like 5 roommates and nothing has changed

“I am not excluded from ‘fuck ‘‘em’ when relevant” is surprisingly powerful as both a statement and philosophy

by all means, fuck me

new album dropping when?

my roomie without fail

me everytime i say im going to be nice now

Lmao he not wrong but he wrong 😂

god ran out of “fucks given” to distribute after the millennials

it’ll never fail to amaze me that chessex, the game dice company - like if you bought your first dice set from a game store/comic shop/card shop you most certainly bought a chessex set - has such an ugly and poorly designed website. it looks like they went out of business 15 years ago.

THEY HAVEN’T UPDATED THEIR WEBSITE IN TEN YEARS????

my mistake, literally every single page you click on has a different copyright date. so far I’ve seen 2001, 2005, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2011, and most recently 2012. amazing. well done chessex.

BUT LANA HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO ORDER DICE?????

you….you have to email them your order form. oh, gods. you…have to type your credit card information. into an email. so they can charge you seven dollars in shipping or 7% of the total order cost if it’s over $100. fuck. if you have questions about the cost of air shipping, you can fax them anytime. jesus christ. oh gods. fuck. fuck me up. chessex. the coolest dice on the planet.  ™

this is another reason why I let my friendly local store make my chessex orders for me

oh my god

we were out here rolling d20s while they were rolling d100s

broke: classic, lawful evil, karen shit woke: making the president of the homeowner’s association the villain of your child’s bedtime stories

Just a heads up right now: on the day when Trump dies, I’m going to be extremely tasteless about it. It’s going to get ugly. You are going to see a side of me I am not proud of. I don’t want any call-outs in my inbox, I’m stating right now that lines will be crossed.

had a thought about this: at the very least, even though we didn’t get him this time, he *will* eventually die

I was having sex with my high school boy crush, but then he stopped in middle of it and asked if I was homophobic. I was like, dude, the fact that we are having the best sex I’ve had in my life clearly means I’m not a homophobe. Then Obama ordered a drone strike and killed us for undetermined reasons.

thanks obama