SHANE HOLLANDER & ILYA ROZANOV HEATED RIVALRY SEASON ONE

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SHANE HOLLANDER & ILYA ROZANOV HEATED RIVALRY SEASON ONE

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whatever you do don’t think about Ilya getting so drunk after a win that Shane has to princess carry him out of the car and ilya is just slurring ‘you are my hero shane’ ‘no I mean it you are so strong and pretty and good at hockey’ and then he starts tearing up and Shane is like ‘ok no more tequila shots for you Mr Russian Constitution’
I like to think that after being outed and moving to the Ottawa Centaurs, Shane’s reputation doesn’t so much as take a hit as it does evolve, seemingly overnight, from Canadian Golden Boy that can do no wrong to Hockey Siren that charmed and seduced his competition. He goes from Boy Next Door to Dangerous Heartthrob. Everyone wants a piece of him. Teenaged girls start calling him daddy. Thirst edits are everywhere. All those photo shoots he’s done are popping back up again. The internet is feral.
Harris is very thankful the man is never online because he knows Shane would be embarrassed by all the attention.
Ilya is five seconds away from posting a sex tape to remind everyone his man IS TAKEN!
When Arthur offers Shane a necklace adorned with a bright red silicone shark, he doesn’t think twice before accepting. When the toddler tries to nudge the animal in his mouth however, that does give him pause.
You see, Shane loves the Pike kids, and he makes an effort to be a good “Uncle Shane” for them, but he knows he struggles to connect with them. He’s had enough nights watching the twins to know they can often find his company more annoying than fun. He follows the game rules too closely, doesn’t have a “creative enough” imagination, and when he says a half an hour on the tv he does actually means thirty minutes exactly (and can’t be bribed otherwise). So when Arthur got old enough to really have a personality aside from “baby” Shane is hopeful that maybe he’ll get along with a boy better.
And miraculously, he does! Kids have always kinda worried Shane, knowing he’s entirely responsible for their wellbeing but not always understanding what they need. It’s not like that with Arthur though, he almost immediately feels like they’re on the same page, speaking the same language, and something settles in Shane knowing he has a place in this extended family. There’s still things that Arthur does that stump Shane, like needing to copy sensation on to the opposite side of his body or preferring to hide in kitchen cabinets when there’s a loud noise, but he vaguely remembers growing out of similar things when he was younger, so really it’s just another point of connection for them. Overall they get along really well, having a nice time playing quietly within a defined set of rules while Ilya gleefully takes over whatever chaos the girls are getting up to in the backyard.
Shane feels like him and Arthur really get each other.
Which makes the current situation so much more upsetting. Arthur keeps pushing the shark up to Shane’s mouth, making him feel bad every time he has to gently push Arthur’s hand back, all while wracking his brain trying to figure out what’s happening. Even moreso, Shane can’t parse why he’s being so insistent on this, interrupting their play entirely. He feels like he’s really messing something up every time he refuses, though he can’t figure out what. He can tell the little man is getting more and more upset with every rejection, but he absolutely does not want some toddlers toy in his mouth. He tries to explain this, calmly, clearly, the way they usually communicate, but Arthur just yanks on Shane’s hoodie string hard, like that was all the explanation needed. It doesn’t clear anything up though and just earns a surprised yelp from Shane. When he looks back up Arthur seems seconds away from tears and instead of responding just runs off.
Shane knows it’s best to give him some space to settle before talking it over, so he instead goes about cleaning up the lego pieces they were organizing into colored piles. It’s about then that Jackie and Hayden return, and Shane fills them in, hoping they can take over the second half solving the situation (Shane is a little relieved it isn’t him doing the talking because he feels like he was the problem in the first place). They both smile, agreeing to take over while thanking Shane and Ilya for babysitting and waving them off. Shane feels like they’re taking this too lightly, but he just nods his farewell, trying to hide how absolutely dejected he feels.
Ilya holds his hand the whole way back, giving rhythmic squeezes instead of talking.
The next time they go over to the Pike’s a few days later, Shane feels sickeningly nervous. Hayden had called sometime after that last visit and said they figured out what the problem was, but was gonna have Arthur talk to him about it. Something about a teaching moment or whatever. Great for toddlers, apparently horrible for full grown adults with only a pinch less anxiety than what is needed for spontaneous combustion.
Opening the front door Shane thinks he might’ve actually crossed the threshold to start creating flames when it suddenly all washes away as little arms wrap around his legs before he even so much as makes it out of the entryway. When Shane looks down he can see soft little dark curls buried in between Shane’s knees. Shane smiles, reaching down to pet his hair and causing Arthur to pull back a bit, still clutching Shane’s pants with one hand while the other pushes a package grasped in a tiny fist up, still looking squarely at the floor. Shane squats slowly, taking the small box with both hands, asking if it is in deed for him. Arthur just nods.
Inside the box is a sealed container with a bright red silicone hockey stick threaded on a black cord. Shane stares for a second, feeling some of that previous anxiety rise up again as he’s not able to immediately understand, but figures he’ll start with what he knows and thanks him for the gift. Arthur’s still looking at the ground, though peeks up to catch Shane’s gaze, mumbling out something that sounds like he’s asking if he likes it. And Shane really doesn’t want to mess this up, but he also doesn’t want to lie, so he goes with the next best thing of just being honest and admitting he doesn’t really know what it is.
Surprisingly, Arthur lights up and starts explaining it’s something called chewelry and it’s very important to wear because it’s against the rules to chew on sleeves and collars and strings and Uncle Shane was gonna get in trouble chewing on his strings but daddy said you didn’t like sharks but I know you like hockey because you’re fast and you also like red like me so we got the red one that isn’t a shark but it’s a hockey stick — Arthur pauses, taking multiple deep breaths — and you wear it around your neck so you don’t lose it and also you don’t share it because of germs but you clean them with pasta water — Jackie mouths “boiling water” from where she’s standing behind him — and it makes the dentist not get mad at you.
Shane stares for a long second, trying to process the sudden onslaught of information, but before he can respond Jackie nudges Arthur’s shoulder and he goes back to looking at the floor, sway back and forth. “I’m sorry I tried to give you the shark when you don’t like sharks and pulled your strings and ran away. I love you.”
Shane feels stuck for a moment but then Ilya taps him on the back and that’s all he needs to push himself forward, pulling Arthur into a tight hug, continuing the swaying motion and returning the sentiment while trying not to cry. They finally leave the entryway when Shane promises to let Arthur teach him the best way to chew on his gift.
So that’s how Shane ends up wears his new necklace for the rest of the day, and then also every time they go to the Pike’s house, and on some weekends too, and maybe to practice sometime, and during movie nights and while reading contracts and on long trips and—
Yeah, Shane thinks he likes Arthur’s rule.
No, like, I know we all get it but that scene where they're heading to the cottage is actually so insane because they've had seven years of hotel rooms and bottling up their emotions and only ever spending time together long enough to hook up and, even then, only when they happened to be in the same place. Now suddenly Ilya is here and he took a plane with the express purpose of seeing Shane and they're in his car and it's a two hour drive so for the first time ever they are just talking without sex being the immediate goal or what just preceded it. That's two hours of just existing in each other's company. That's two hours more than they've ever had before and it's just the prelude to two weeks and Ilya takes his hand and admits that he's nervous because this is so new and they've both wanted it for so long and, you don't understand, I'm going to cry.

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Ilya points out Shane getting hard in the showers then proceeds to jerk off in front of him. "I thought you might chicken out" as if he wasn't losing his mind having an identity crisis in that elevator. Ilya makes fun of Shane for coming quickly his first bj when his time is only like 5 seconds more than Shane's. Ilya makes fun of Shane's sexting as if his loser ass horny texts are any better. "Remember when I made you come hands free" Ilya sweetheart you're lucky Shane was on his hands and knees too busy with his own orgasm to hear your pathetic (affectionate) "oh God, Hollander" right before you came so hard you almost blacked out. "We are not anything" proceeds to freak out the next time he sees him and makes a folder named "boring" of the photos they took as a bit. "Not as person, of course" when he came up with a whole plan to convince him to stay the night, gave him his clothes, made him food, and is looking at him like he hung the moon. "We get together we fuck is simple" cut to him two weeks later confessing his undying love on the phone.
Ilya you're a fucking hypocrite I love you <3
The Centaurs, whenever someone from the press asks one of them to describe Ilya Rozanov.
heated rivalry twitter (52/?) the cens get to really know their captain once he's married. that's a good thing... right?
bonus:
BOOD SAID WITH A SMILE
BOOD TEASED
y’all the centaurs are NOT gonna be annoyed by shane and ilya let’s be so for real. they’re NOT creating a PDA jar!! they’re probably chanting ‘kiss kiss kiss’ because they kissed before the last game and won and now they’re superstitious.
Shane and Bood are instant friends much to Ilya’s confusion. Zane comes in and starts talking to Shane like he’s been on the team for years. He tells Shane about the vacation he and Cassie went on and that he liked the photos Ilya had sent from their honeymoon. After their showers, Bood asks Shane what he thought of the AHL call ups at camp, particularly the defenseman from Edmonton who seems particularly promising. Shane doesn’t seem uncomfortable, so Ilya stays out of these structured conversations Zane is creating for them, and is pleased to hear Shane talk about him to Yuna over dinner that weekend.
By the next week, Shane is chatting with Zane as much as Ilya during practice, coming up with drills for the team to run through and nagging him about the way his left skate turns out when he’s shooting. Ilya is genuinely pleased even through his surprise when Shane mentions that they are going to babysit for Bood the next Tuesday so he can take Cassie out for a date night. Apparently they had worked it out at lunch. Wyatt had offered, but Lisa was working a double and would appreciate him home and paying attention to her that night, so Shane had suggested that he and Ilya do it.
Wyatt had worked his way into this dynamic at some point, gravitating over to Zane and Shane in the locker room for casual conversation and logistical discussions. Shane didn’t really know anything about superheroes, but Wyatt was totally cool with that and happy to explain, so Shane didn’t mind the detailed explanations about heroes and powers and comic books.
Ilya floats around, comfortably social as Captain once more without a secret life beyond hockey. He had hovered around Shane slightly the first week, but more often than not finds himself with Troy and Luca, only glancing at Shane for an occasional visual check in. Shane doesn’t like Troy yet and he hasn’t figured out how to talk to Luca without feeling like he’s gonna be asked for an autograph, so he waits for Ilya to break off and check on him throughout the day. When they get in the car to go home, Ilya gives Shane the full run down of everything that happened that day as Shane fills in any gaps he can.
They eat dinner on the couch with their legs tangled together. They suck each other off in the kitchen washing dishes. They shower together with Ilya’s lavender scented body wash. Shane reads in bed with Ilya’s head in his lap. They turn off the lamp and set an alarm. They fall asleep, one arm thrown across the other man’s hip. They’re in the same bed. In the same city. On the same team. And Shane is friends with Zane Boodram like they’ve played together for years.

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Back to say Brandon Wiebe is such an icon and I hope we meet his wife and kids in Unrivaled. I also hope that ex-boyfriend/teammate returns as a rival coach and the Centaurs somehow piece that shit together after hearing the guy make some snippy comments and those bitches make a vow to never let that man see even a GLIMMER of a win against them.
Additionally…
Rival Coach: Hello, Brandon-
Ilya: His name is coach, actually
Bood: There’s also no need to talk. Shake his hand and move on.
Shane: Good luck out there. Excited to see how this game goes. I'm sure you will do great just like last time!
Hayes: Yeah. When we won 6-2
Troy: I will destroy your bloodline
its funny to imagine that ottawa got so used to losing that some of the fans are like “we should celebrate the losses like people do with wins” and its a ridiculous idea but against all odds it catches on and honestly helps the team feel not awful, sometimes after a game the team will go out and walk into a bar the erupts until cheers when they enter and people clapping and Bood will smile and laugh and feel a little lighter knowing that yes their team sucks but at least everyone is having a good time.
and then ilya goes to ottawa and people are like “does this mean we have to stop celebrating losses☹️” and obviously the answer is no. ilya gets to experience the joy of going out after a loss to sports bars crowded with overjoyed fans who tell him “good fucking game” and buy the team a round and its so different from boston ilya gets a bit of whiplash.
when they start winning, the community decides its stupid to break tradition, and equally stupid to not celebrate a win, so after a game, win or lose, the community congratulates them with the same enthusiasm and orders the same drinks for them and something about it lifts a pressure off ilyas chest.
middle of the night confession…I get so confused every time people are like “Carter SHUT UP omg he’s gonna feel so STUPID when he realizes, he needs to STOP TALKING” about the ice cream scene in Sochi. Like…wow, oh no. A straight man very explicitly expressing support for gay athletes around his closeted gay friends. The…horror?
I know that when Shane comes out to his team, a lot of their minds go straight to “I share a shower with him”. But I have to think there’s at least one guy who immediately thinks about Rose because he’s always been baffled by that relationship
Like okay, cap never dates. Now he’s dating Rose Fucking Landry. Now they broke up which we learned from a fucking tabloid and Hollander shrugged off like it was no big deal, muttered something about incompatible schedules
Wait, why are they still getting dinner together? Why are there all these paparazzi shots of them giggling? Okay, Hollander says they’re friends. Friends? With Rose Landry? Even though he’s not hitting that??? That’s scientifically impossible.
This guy gets nosy one time and peeks when Shane’s texting Rose, only to see him saying “Dump him. The dick isn’t good enough to make up for that rock he calls a brain.” and he’s like. Huh. Okay. Maybe Hollander’s encouraging her to dump her man so he can hit that again?
So when Shane comes out, the whole room falls silent. And then this one guy just blurts out, “OHHHH! So Rose is your…what’s the word? Hag! She’s your hag?!”
Shane had plans A through Z ready for coming out reactions, but he was simply not prepared for that
I’m glad to see some conversations about the implications of casting Shane as the team mom. Because while I don’t think we should rag on specific fics, I DO think we should have conversations about why certain fic tropes are popular in this fandom and why others are despised. Often that “why” is rooted in heteronormativity and racism.
The team mom one in particular is interesting to me because like…maybe I’m simply too gay but it never even occurred to me that Ilya being a “team dad” means that Shane would fall into a team mom role? The way I conceive of secret society of stickhandlers is that Ilya and Bood are the team dads and Shane is, at best, a reluctant step dad.
Even aside from the heteronormativity at play, it’s important to me to emphasize Bood’s leadership role. He was drafted to Ottawa in 2014 and has the A, he’s been captaining that ship since it was sinking! And while Ilya was depressed, closeted, and isolated, Bood was the social heart of the team.
It’s nice to think of a Centaurs post TLG where Ilya and Bood get to truly be captains together. But even then, I don’t think of either of them as the mom? Because they’re…men…and there can indeed be two dads

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As an autistic person, I’ve gotten in some…situations with both loved ones and strangers thinking I’m angry at/rude to my partner because they’re one of the only people I truly, 100% unmask around. And I feel like this would happen to Shane and Ilya too
Like we joke that Shane walks Ilya like a dog but I think the perception of that by other people would actually be informed by just…relatively mundane conversations. They’re just chatting about what to have for dinner but because of Shane’s Tone, rookies on the Cens and old friends from Boston and random women at the grocery store are like, “Wow. Hollander is so rude and poor Rozanov is whipped.”
And maybe they even work up the nerve to say something. Maybe they tell Shane to be kinder or Ilya that he doesn’t have to put up with that. Ilya’s confused every time because Shane’s not even angry? He KNOWS what Shane looks like angry. Right now he’s just…being himself. He’s not slipping on his media smile and carefully considering every word. He’s not shrinking himself, contorting to fit the expectations of a world that craves whiteness, straightness, politeness
He’s just being Shane. What could be better than that?
I think we need to talk more about Shane in the 24 hours following a Cup win. Like that is peak uninhibited Shane Hollander. He’s kissing babies. He’s chugging champagne by the bottle. He’s attempting to climb every surface. He’s attempting the worm? He’s going to the club bathroom, sending Ilya a hole pic and a 1200 word text describing all the ways he deserves to be fucked. Then he’s going back out and attempting the worm again