In Love With Love

On A High Pain Day:

You put your arms around me and I was home again.

My dear body, The only place I have ever known I am sorry that my earliest memories of you include pinching the fat on my legs and staring in the mirror for hours critiquing every inch of you I wish I had used that time to actually treat you right I am sorry for the endless stress I have put you through (sorry for the sleep deprivation) and how from when I was 15 I never let you get what you needed to survive at a normal rate instead, I marveled at how good my harming of you made me feel I don’t blame you when you give me physiological signs to match my mental state Just know - I am loving you now and that won’t stop anytime soon, Thank you for keeping my heart beating even when I did not want it to and for allowing me to experience life in all its complexities

The more time I spend alone the more I understand the importance of being comfortable being alone. I’ve started to understand that the most reliable person in my life should be me. And also that most people are going to let you down regardless of who they are. You need to be your own light.