Derek: wait! I need my shovel!
JJ: well I came prepared! I got the duct tape already!
Reid: I got the giant pasta noodle!
Rossi: for the last time...it’s called rope.
Garcia: I got the lighter and lighter fluid!
*Everyone gets to the beach full of people running away and screaming*
Rossi: Hotch! What the-is that a body?
Hotch: *holding a cadaver* yah...
Rossi: why do you have a body?
Hotch: you texted me saying that we were going to the beach to bury a body...
Rossi: yah, as in someone who’s alive!
Hotch: why the hell would you do something so cruel?!
Derek: yah Rossi! That’s just sick!
Reid: I’m with Morgan and Hotch on this one...
Emily: what the hell do you Italians do for fun?!
JJ: seriously Rossi what’s the matter with you?!
Rossi: wait, all of you guys thought that we were coming to the beach to bury a body?!
Derek: yah, what else would we do?
Rossi: oh I don’t know...relax in the sun, read a book. Take a swim.
Hotch: then why the hell did you text us to bring all of this stuff?
Rossi: the shovel and bucket are for sand castles. The rope is so we can tie it to a tree and use it to swing into the water. The lighter and lighter fluid is for a fire to cook our meal over.
Reid: then what’s the duct tape for?
Hotch: ya the duct tape doesn’t make any sense...
Rossi: oh ya, I wanted you to tape me up with it and throw me in the lake and let me drown.
Rossi: what?! No! I was joking! It’s for emergencies. Have you ever heard the phrase, duct tape fixes everything?!
Hotch: well then why didn’t you tell us to bring bathing suits and towels and sunscreen? Its not like people automatically think of these things when they think about a beach...
Hotch:then how come you’re the only one here with a towel and bathing suit on this entire beach?
Rossi: Because everyone started running when you brought a dead body onto the beach!
Hotch: that’s no excuse for your poorly written instructions.
Rossi: have none of your parents ever taken you to the beach?!
Hotch: my dad used to call me a beach.
Reid: my dad didn’t call me at all!
Rossi: so all of you thought you were bringing things to help bury a body?!
Everyone: *nods their heads*
Hotch: well... I kind of carried this dude all the way over here...might as well bury him and make a fun surprise for some kids!
Reid: ya it’ll be like finding dinosaurs!
Derek: *takes the shovel and starts digging*
Hotch: *tosses body into shallow grave*
JJ: *puts lighter fluid on the body*
Hotch: *tosses the lighter in with the body making it go up in flames*
Everyone: *watches the body burn in excitement*
Hotch: I think we all learned an important lesson today.
Hotch: never listen to Rossi’s advice. *everyone nods their heads*
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