Inky Pen

what 

the 

Just so much stuff to memorize.  Why? I’m not going into research.

Literally getting hit in the face with a brick.

... i’m tired. 

Lots of pictures of T21 children come up on slides and lecture, while I am in a cafe. My immediate thought went to:

“If anybody even says anything, I WILL fight them.” I think my past years of community service make this harder for me. 

Disability. That is an undeniable truth. 

“I lay his head upon my arm, upon my left arm, as in a 팔베개.

He said something like "if I don't wake up, ..." then something to me or maybe he said "i probably won't wake up so.... " then something to me.

I think I said "no of course you'll wake up, but just in case you don't, i want you to know I love you and I'm sorry and ...." something else as well.

He was so frail there, the opposite of when I was a child and he was the big adult.

 And until then I do not know if he was the patient and I was the doctor or family member”

 And I woke up with tears, wet and salty, streaming down my face, and I could not stop them.

I was confused. I am not actively grieving his death. I take solace in the fact that, in accordance with Parfit’s Reductionism, Relationship-R is still present between us. I have my memories of him, and in that sense, he is still connected to me. Parfit is said to have consoled a mourning person that just as someone who isn’t present in person is distant to us geographically, similarly is he who is dead – simply distant to us mortally. Just as we do not mourn those away in space, so too should we not mourn them for being away mortally.

 I take immense relief and calm in this. In this way, I have been living.

 But this is the second time I have woken up crying – once in October, immediately after my trip to Korea, and once again today.

It is unlike me to let my rationality fall apart as such.

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM070fxY0uk)

This is literally everything that is good about kpop without any of the bad (that I can think of) - hot/cute girls, catchy song, decent to great singing chops, and some dynamic-ass choreo. Good shit. Not like I’m listening to kpop for lyrics or rap. 

(on that note - the Quiett’s Q Train 2 is quite excellent.)

(Also, E-sens is out)

internal screaming intensifies. 

fucking wackass rappers... git gud. 

Rimi like the grim reaper, she kilt damn near every song she ever blessed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aHDUzKfxp0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K7QvRe3kEA

Just saw the unpretty rapstar thing at smtm because it came up on tumblr.

Why did Kassy agree to go on this show? She’s a REALLY good vocalist... and kind of a shitty rapper. 

Also, the level of lyrics there... like... come on. You can’t say lyricism is dead in hip hop when TDE and Pro Era be killing shit in the states and Joe Budden just murked hip pop Drake’s ass.... 

not when Kendrick’s verse on “THat Part” had triple rhymes on almost every line... 

not when Huck P spent years on the streets of Hongdae mastering freestyles off the dome that are harder and more complex

not when P-Type has a multisyllabic within multisyllabics in all of his rhymes. 

You want to do hip hop... spend more than 5 minutes on a rap. Respect the culture. Learn the art. Master it. Flow and your goddamn “attitude” ain’t mean shit if you don’t even write your own lyrics and the lyrics don’t keep up. Get out of here with that amateur bullshit. Fuck is going on with these tv shows ruining the grassroots uprising of hiphop. 

Finally understanding what it means to be an 아저씨 fan....