Blatant Exposition

Soooooooon

i'm the guy who writes the books that the protagonist in supernatural horror movies frantically reads somewhere in act ii. job's pretty easy. lot of "legends of vampires have recurred all throughout human history" and "demonologists agree that the quickest way to un-summon a demon is to trap it in a cursed object". no citations of course; they don't pay me citation money. i had to learn html back in the early aughts when everyone started seeking their supernatural info on websites they found via top search engines like FINDLER and WEBSIGHT but that's died down now which is great because i didn't have it in me to pick up css. currently working on a new book about horses that are evil. it's called HORSES THAT ARE EVIL in all caps so the protagonist can find it quickly to yank off the library shelf. it will be published 35 years ago.

dude star wars is so good and/or bad and/or mediocre sometimes, depending

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

obviously this is AI generated slop but I keep laughing at ophelia labeled “hamlet’s brother”

very interested in the 523 likes in the corner supporting this groundbreaking interpretation of ophelia

HAMLET My brother? KING BLYSSFFSTTT No, the other Ophelia

i love recommending the locked tomb to people. it's sci-fi. it's dystopian. the main characters are from pluto. it's a comedy. it's action. it's murder mystery. it's gay. it's necromancer body horror with a side of the body horror being about love. god is a tumblrista who likes barbie and left beef memes. the earth is a big beautiful woman with a sword. 90% of the people are evil lesbians. god also hates billionaires. he may or may not have possessed obama at one point in time. he was a twitch streamer. the most powerful necro of a generation wants a coffee shop meet cute with the girl living inside her head. the girl living inside her head likes porn mags written into skin. the final book in the series will probably be released after we die. a murderous masc and a greek twink became a guy named paul. literally why wouldn't you want to read it

The existence of a safeword also implies the existence of a dangerword that you can use to instantly turn any sexual event into a combat encounter

World Heritage Post

EVERY YEAR

i saw a post on twitter by a european saying americans are fake for their random compliments to strangers and their general cheery demeanor and like no. no no no you don’t understand. if you get a random compliment from an american on the street about your outfit or whatever, that is 100% genuine. we mean it. we aren’t lying we are making a small but fleeting connection with you because our lives are shitty but the human condition is enduring. oh god i’m clutching my chest

If you get a compliment from a random American on the street, know that they tried their best to keep from saying a peep to you but they literally could not hold it in. They HAD to say something.

The other day a tiny gay man in a hurry bumped me on the Metro escalator and said "Sorry, great dress by the way" and then he stopped at the top of the escalator and turned around and said "AND a great hat. THAT is how we do summer!" and SPRINTED for his bus and I coasted on that for the rest of the day.