Honey bleeds red

The phone becomes my window. A window for what exactly? Some days it's watching others cry at the absurdity of it all or laugh at jokes you've memorised already, waiting for the punchline, their reaction, that shared energy. Addicted to the feeling of being a person in an audience and not your own enemy.

And with all this and more, the hyponic apathy falls over your eyes, but as a surprise it let's you lift up your head and see the sunlight on your bedroom walls. It's in a different spot each time you look. Sometimes it's a pale faded thing just catching the edge of your vision.

I worry about that sometimes, I see it liquid like, dark and light, a cup of all the time I had somehow filling right up to the brim and slowly it spills over. Warmth and then a rapidly cooling, grueling exposure.

you called me friend?!?!?! damn bro handed the CV in person to Arthur fr networking employed king ( well actually uther... bossman..)

The phone becomes my window. A window for what exactly? Some days it's watching others cry at the absurdity of it all or laugh at jokes you've memorised already, waiting for the punchline, their reaction, that shared energy. Addicted to the feeling of being a person in an audience and not your own enemy.

And with all this and more, the hyponic apathy falls over your eyes, but as a surprise it let's you lift up your head and see the sunlight on your bedroom walls. It's in a different spot each time you look. Sometimes it's a pale faded thing just catching the edge of your vision.

I worry about that sometimes, I see it liquid like, dark and light, a cup of all the time I had somehow filling right up to the brim and slowly it spills over. Warmth and then a rapidly cooling, grueling exposure.

There's one famous account of a mystic called Margery kemp who was worried her intense visions where fake and was overwhelmed by them, she was known to cry or have histerical reactions in public from her visions. So she decided to visit the anchoress Julian of norwich and ask her what she thought, and to paraphrase Julian basically just said "nah it's fine, just try to keep calm and carry on" and Margery is just like "okay thanks" leaving Julian to just chill in her little cell forever.

Margery did write that Julian's advice actually made her feel alot better about everything, and apparently she was very calm compared to Margery's intense emotional state.

maybe it's because I haven't slept yet and I'm sleep deprived but this just made me laugh, like Margery is worried she's dislusional, so off she goes to ask a woman who bricked herself into a tiny room for life what she thinks about said delusions.