they should invent a sunday that doesn’t make you feel completely crushed by the passage of time

listen, okay, i get what you’re saying but the hunger games are REALLY important for the country’s economy. they generate more revenue in just a few weeks than all of the districts do in like, six entire months. AND they’re an integral part of our culture. not just the capitol! the districts rely on the games too. we can’t just ABOLISH them. that’s CRAZY. but of course i support trans rights! they should have the right to put their names in and showcase their courage and bravery as their PREFERRED gender. but it’s funny you brought that up because i’m actually starting a petition to introduce a nonbinary category as well! tributes shouldn’t be required to align with arbitrary sex characteristics in order to compete. i mean, it’s 2316! i know the districts aren’t as advanced as we are here in the capitol, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be encouraging gender diversity. i’ll take the signatures to the city offices once i have enough. honestly, i have high hopes! the local lgbt community is sure to support it. plus, i mean, why would anyone be against it, really? just think! we could have THREE tributes from each district instead of just two. imagine the economical impact of twelve extra tributes every year! wouldn’t that be something! what do you think? will you sign?

just found out I'm going to be reincarnated into a single sprig of grain. barley apparently. Not cool man. I didn't even know plants was an option on the table. this is bullshit

beautiful women will be like “i baked a cake” and you will say “oh ? what flavour is it” and they say well its a honey rosewater apricot pistachio cardamom vanilla fig jam earl grey poppyseed orange blossom extra virgin olive oil chiffon sponge soaked in raspberry elderflower champagne lipgloss pomegranate matcha ginger blueberry cherry blossom magnolia petal almond passionfruit persimmon syrup with whipped amalfi lemon limoncello ricotta goats cheese honeycomb black pepper bergamot lemon thyme lemon balm rosemary chantilly whipped cream cream cheese feta cheese italian meringue frosting . like ok. i want to spend the rest of my afternoons walking around inside your beautiful mind like a garden

tiramisu

lol yeah go ahead try and attack me *notices i left my dragon scale talisman of immortality at home* or maybe lets not be too hasty

the problem with musicians is how they're always touring their latest album instead of like their critically hated second album from 2009 which is the one i'm obsessed with

it must feel good as fuck to walk on the surface tension of water as a bug

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream of, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.

How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.

crossfaded on what no longer is and what remains to be seen

you know what? fuck it, man. the world is held in the fists of people who like to break things. at this point i’m saying who gives a shit. wear that victorian dress you don’t have an excuse for. dress up like a witch, pointed hat and all. who cares anymore. why worry about it when there’s bigger stuff to worry on. i’m saying. yeah, this lipstick is too dark, wanna share? i’m saying go talk to her, tell her that you like her hair. i’m saying she’s out of my league but i’m still swinging, i’m saying yeah i’m in a ballgown and it’s a pta meeting. what about it. eat the extra brownie, tell her your feelings. i’m saying if nothing matters than we might as well give nothing meaning.