Like All Lovers And Sad People I Am Poet

I want you to fill me.

Nights spend alone in bed when you lay few blocks away.

I’m yours and you’re mine then why I feel forsaken?

I'm the thread on your shirt and it's coming undone

I feel right, I feel wrong, I feel totally insane

And I want you more than any stupid song could ever say

You won’t lie about the dark past,

White lines, tortured souls,

Midnights turns to afternoons,

Full of strangers in crowded rooms.

Act II, I took you out of a grave.  You’re not synonymous with bitterness and sadness anymore. You’re my anchor, vitamin D and all grand adjectives. They keep asking me if ten years is enough to transform my love to something platonic? What if I say that you are still a ghost that is in and out of my life. A Peter Pan from a far far away…

I should set a scene…

It all started on November 5th.

Blue lights, hazel eyes and stone cold hearts.

You woke my appetite to feel alive.

Let me daydream about you and I.

Not knowing your past.

Not knowing my future.

Our paths finally collide.

To be,

To stay,

To walk away,

Your abstance is loud,

Your presence is warm.

And I am villain for dancing to music you created in my heart.

The ink and tears dried.

You hold my words again my will.

You kiss me and punish me.

Perfect wife in a picturesque house.

But I am mad and unkind.

I am too big and too small.

I am not twenty years old.

You waste your youth on me.

My friends are crazy and jealous.

Often don’t remember correctly the past.

Be laid back, be a cool wife.

I vow to love and remain.

Yet I plead for a way out.

This counterfeit relationship

is slowly killing me.

Bet it feels good to leave the past behind

Your subscription to redemption has been renewed

You keep your head high, smooth operator in a shit-stained suit

Drinking Riesling in the middle of fall.

How 80s sound filled my place

and we laughed watching John Hughes’ movie.

You left a permanent mark on my heart.

No apologies from your side.

No goodbye and no remorse.

You said I was special.

You said that you don’t see future without me

then you proceed to leave.

I deconstruct every bit of memory.

Starting with first conversation to the last.

I watch all of the plans that turned to ashes.

Part of me died when I read your lines.

You detached from me like I was a disgrace.

I can’t recover from this romance.

In my dreams you are at reach of my hand.

with affirmative words.

Erased pictures of you.

Must admit I listen to our songs.

It brings me bit of joy

sometimes wave of pain.

I need to feel something

Maybe you are sedate.

Maybe it was fear.

Maybe it was me.

Maybe someday