Every story should have consequences, but even the most dramatic, plot-shifting consequence ever written is going to fall flat if we didn’t know it was going to happen beforehand. Always spoil your consequences.
By that, I mean that if the reader doesn’t understand what would be so bad about getting caught as the characters explore the sewers, we’re not going to feel any tension—and when they are caught and fed to the sewer creature, we’re going to feel more confused than surprised.
Using our example, this might look like some character at the beginning telling our MCs about the “legend of the sewer monster that eats wayward children”. Later, when they’re in the sewer, this warning would be at the backs of their minds and ours as the reader. When they’re caught and taken to said sewer monster, we would still find it surprising, but not confusing. There’s a very important difference between the two.
There are a lot of ways to bring up the risks or implications of an action. You can…
1. Demonstrate it on a background character
Person ahead in line makes a run for it and is shot. Guy fighting dragon in the news is roasted alive. My neighbour went out to sea three months ago and never returned.
2. Hint at it through the environment
This one is pretty common because it’s subtle but effective. For example, Jack Sparrow sails into port and passes by a hanging skeleton wearing a pirate hat. Before he’s even reached land, we know exactly what could happen to him there. Or entering the sewer and finding some sort of nest, even if the creature is no where in sight.
3. Hide it within dialogue
If the characters react to something as though it’s a joke, the readers will assume it is too, until the thing comes up and is proven real. This is a great way to outline a consequence without drawing too much attention to it.
Otherwise, sometimes the most obvious example that manages to slip by us is: “[Thing] would never happen. If it did, [consequence].” And you better believe not only will thing happen, but so will consequence. “The police will catch escaped serial killer, if they don’t, so many more people will die.” Etc.
This can also look like our example—there’s a myth/rumour/legend that… Or I heard of a friend of a friend who… Or, did you hear across the border there was…
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