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imagine you are letting your boyfriend suck your dick while you're on the phone with your friend and then he tries to put his fingers in your mouth and when you slap his hand away, he slaps You in the face
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heated rivalry fic recs! (absolute favorites in red)
like one of your girls - shane hollander's internalized homophobia and his jealousy duke it out. this was one of the first fics i read in the hr fandom that actually engaged with how a brutal sport and culture would messily intersect with desire and it's so good
tongues a-wagging - shane starts learning russian from a russian player. who isn't ilya. the monologue in chapter 2 actually made me insane
clear to a hedgehog - ilya is a hockey player, shane is a doctor, ilya thinks shane thinks he's a mobster, they still fall in love
the belly of the whale - shane as a creature that rejects all indulgence, except one, even though it won't love him back (or so he tells himself)
Rotten Saints - ilya going through the downward spiral of self-hatred leading him to propose that shane can sleep with other people, melancholy and beautifully written
Teenage Dirtbag - snapshots of ilya's childhood in russia, or my favorite crackfic in the fandom
World on Your Shoulders - a panacea to all the attempted woobiefication of shane hollander, who, as should be remembered, is a hockey captain with all the baggage that comes with it
Luchik, Darling - ilya and irina and russia and that odd grief of realizing your home isn't your home anymore, gorgeous prose
Dig Two Graves - wherein the centaurs-voyageurs feud gets ugly. this one is bleak and brutal but excellent if you're in the mood to get emotionally eviscerated
lone star series - hollanov and the existencial horror of the self and children, told through an abortion, a miscarriage and an adoption
Friendship in Retrospect - cliff marleau befriends ilya in the way one befriends a stray cat
free rein - i'll just drop a quote here: "You are not a god, Hollander told him once. But, oh. When he looked at Ilya like that."
as you mean to go on - babysitting the pike kids and the angst of wishing for the unattainable normalcies of other people's lives
Gambit - butch4(closeted)butch hollanov, wherein chess is sex
#noticing - svetlana and shane run into each other in a bar during the rose landry era
Pale Imitations - from the author's summary: "everything is about smoking, except for smoking which is about Shane Hollander"
Good Losing - alpha/alpha hollanov and the perversity of sexuality going up against what should be your nature
return of spontaneous circulation series - they're paramedics, written with incredibly verisimilitude as a medical drama (part 3 is also just *fans my face*)
coach, I'm threading needles - shane attempts to get better at saying no to ilya, ilya responds like any sane person would and sleeps with a girl in shane's jersey
we're strangers, we're not friends - ilya's rookie year as a mildly disastrous teenager
A Good Latch - per the author's tags: "tfw you want to knock Shane up and end up contemplating what it means to parent," incredibly fun
Old Habits - shane meets sasha at svetlana's birthday celebration, or: a spiritual successor to the scene where ilya rejects sasha and then looks at his phone at the thread from jane
behind enemy lines - the daemon au where they're also soulmates and find out in possibly the worst scenario (sochi)
autoclave - fuck or die with all the angsty consequences
Observations on Fatherhood - shane and david hollander and the pain of knowing you can only try to protect your child from the world
Wreck My Plans - shane attempts to deal with his feelings for his rival by setting up rules to guide himself by to not get too close. if he's succeeding or not is debatable
The Great Jane Debacle of 2016 - the raiders get stuck with post-tuna melt ilya's crashout, texting fic, hits the sweet spot of crack-angst
Sunday Blue - an absolutely dizzying cnc fic. they're insane about each other and it's so good
A Study in Denial - that feeling when you run into your ex-situationship in the bathroom of the club you're at with your hetcomp girlfriend and you're Totally Over Each Other
four steps to death - or: how to mourn a brother who hated you in a country that's becoming foreign to you
About Summer - the plane disappears, but ilya comes back. so i know i said that DTG was devastating but this. this one actually made me sob—"You will see the blue sky and think I saw that too. And listen to cicadas and you will remember golden dog days and being alive in the wrong hour of the world. You will think summer and then think of these things and then of me."
one of your eyes is always half-shut (something happened when you were a kid) - alexei rozanov's run out of luck in a long luck-less life with a mother who hated him and a brother who's too soft
Change Your Win Conditions - ilya's career-ending injury before he and shane can get back together means he becomes the centaurs' coach. shane finds him anyway
Dinner Tonight? - when you realize you're married and haven't been on a date before, which must be rectified in the most chaotic and perfect way imaginable, feat. a meet-cute in the grocery store, wedding ring theft and the misuse of the word "bro"
Table for Two? - in a similar vein to the above, ilya attempts to ask out shane for years during their situationship, one of the best takes on the oblivious trope i've read
Tuna Melts and Longitudinal Studies - the tuna melt incident, before and after, as seen by ilya's reddit posts, with some absolutely devastating banger lines snuck in with the crack
Fuckboy Fuzz - scott hunter and that olympics story where a medalist used his speech to beg for his girlfriend back, skip-style
smoke on skin - rose landry's relationship to fame, identity, smoking, and ilya rozanov
it waits for you in the shadows - the ilya domdrop fic
Only You (Could Ruin Me Like This) - shane drunk-dials ilya after the club scene
Buzzer Beater series - orgasm denial, the ocean scene in part 2 is insane
and i'll show you fearless - under-negotiated kink as character study my beloved, incredible writing: "Shane is staring up at him with the moon in his mouth, bright and defenceless. Ilya gets the idea that even if he’d thrown a fist into Shane’s face at this moment, Shane would either let it pass through him like air, or else he would ask how many more times he could be hit."
wait for a different ending - another ilya goes to russia for the last time fic, feat. impulsive dog adoption
holy matrimony - that feeling when you marry the love of your life hastily in secret in a tiny office and for years it's a secret and it's enough but now you're faced with all the things you could have had at the wedding of the other big gay couple and it's tearing at your heart
virtue theory - shane hollander vs. the awful reality of the possibility of failure even if no mistakes were made
mosquito - in complete contrast to the above, ilya rozanov & the trainwreck experience of never denying yourself anything and then crashing out after being denied
anybody like you - shane and shane's figure skating buddy joe, or: closeted man is amazed at his comfort in a new group of friends, not knowing they're queer
6:00am, day after christmas - another shanebortion fic, nobody is having a good time but they're trying
sun bleached flies - svetlana on slowly finding your best friend unknowable, feat. the nuclear poison atmosphere of the rozanov household
no roses for my grave - ilya on the pain of being grigoryevich and, as fiona apple once said, "hunger hurts and i want him so bad, oh it kills"
pierce through me (hit me so physical) - ilya gets his ears pierced and shane is So Normal about it
oh come on shotgun bride - short but excellent fic with yuna & ilya
winners-verse series - so you know how by moving to ottowa ilya's ended the rivalry by downgrading? and how love and resentment don't cancel each other out but can grow together like a twisted tree? how the best intentions can have painful results and sometimes the only thing to do is to learn to live with it? this series is genuinely so fucking amazing, part 2 especially with the realization that love made me do this incredibly stupid thing and i hate it but i can't stop loving you. good stuff (also part 3 just dropped and it is !!!)
snapping birch - david hollander's phone gets hacked, prompting an outing and a twitter meltdown, directly engages with how exactly did it come to the point that shane didn't want to come out to his parents despite them trying to do their best
another uninnocent, elegant fall - aka what a messy celebrity ilya life would look like
Geryon - ilya, less than healthy sexuality and consent issues on all sides
Game Day - last addition, but i just finished this, great dark humor and an absolutely hysterical twist (but also remember it's dark humor)
edit: ok so this got more attention than i expected, ty! also go and comment on the fics!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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no one is asking for this but i have to make my one million hours on ao3 mean something
the texture of memory: very very very good, read it i am so serious, completed
the anatomy of a bird heart in slow decay: a love story ft ghosts, grief, mothers and sons, and survival. completed
car wash redhead, tube top R.E.M. concert, juror #6: hollanov character study, power and love, i adore those freaks so much <3, completed
fall in love again and again: the classic tuna-melt groundhog day, with a house of leaves flavour, completed
Jessica: teenaged shane as seen through his relationship with his high school girlfriend, i love them both so unbearably much, completed
home economics: nhl lockout leads to hollanov living together in the situationship era-there's no way this could go wrong! completed
Route 96 Kanata: shane suffers a career ending injury before meeting ilya but where there's a will there's a tortured hollanov situationship nonetheless. full of fantastic ottawan idiosyncrasies. wip
World on Your Shoulders: what if shane had a queer rookie while deep in the midst of his "i'm not gay" era? hilarious shane characterization, this whole series is a dark comedy that i want to swallow whole, completed
adding a cut because this got so fucking long lmao
wunderkind: breathtaking look into yuna hollander's inner world but everyone really shines through wonderfully here (ilya my heart i love you so much), completed
always, sun: canon,,,,,,,divergence?? magical realism, gorgeous and vaguely terrifying, completed
I have only two emotions (careful fear and dead devotion): shane disappears from hockey post prospect cup and hollanov meets again much farther down the road, gorgeous tender slow burn, completed
nothing makes me feel as good: shane character study through jj's eyes, god im so obsessed with this crazy crazy man, completed
I. ONE LITTLE GOD FALLING OVER ANOTHER: the last year in boston, gorgeous format, peeling back the edges of the GC universe, wip
The Canadian Hot 100: incredibly tender series of married hollanov vignettes, wip
The Discipline Of It: The Eating Disorder Shane Fic, at least for me. such a realistic look into an ed and ocd tendencies. love this take on shane & yuna's relationship as well, completed
your presence has gone through me (like needle through a thread): ilya gets a family and i cry one million tears of joy, wip
we'll make a home on the cracks: journalist shane fights his way out of an ethics torment nexus and finds true love <3 cute hollanov & fun shane characterization, wip
frequently, secretly fond of each other: boston! shane, you know it you love it, wip
some pacific wind: race and language: a hollanov conversation on perception, completed
dark out and still thirty degrees: one of the only a/b/o fics i've ever enjoyed, the misogyny/discrimination feels very real, ft. wonderful trans shane journey!! completed
gens du pays: "Do you think you can love two people at once"? aka giving shane a second situationship with sasha nolastname. might not be everyones cup of tea because ilya hasn't entered the picture yet, but i've been thinking about it nonstop since reading. such a good sasha , wip
Plexiglass Box: what if hollanov met as teens in Moscow? (ilya x coach's son but it was shane the whole time), Excellent tension, completed, with wip sequel
one of your eyes is always half-shut (something happened when you were a kid): a wonderful take on alexei, Such a gut punch to read as an older sibling, completed
and he spoke the bridegroom fair: pre-tunamelt shane on marriage, gender, race, and being known. completed
Hello From Moscow, Goodbye from Montreal: canon divergence circa 2012 where ilya calls shane drunk one night, and keeps calling after that, equally funny and devastating, wip
i could have been somebody else: shane and rose post-breakup discovering things about themselves together, platonic soulmates2me, completed
waiting for the tides to change: sweet little hollanov-as-childhood-best-friends snapshot , completed
It had to be you, Wonderful you: transmasc ilya you are soooo dear to me, completed
Offside: coach/player forbidden hollanov but it's sweeter than you would expect. wip
Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago: climbing inside your soulmates body is a thing that is both normal to want and possible to have (ft. painful but warming version of shane's life post. career ending injury), wip
head and body to you: tortured self-destructive shane character study, toxic? situationship hollanov, canon-typical emotion development through the lens of sex, completed
the soviet montage: obviously already popular but i had to, cold-war era hollanov post. ilya's defection from the soviet union, completed
Home Ice Advantage: another boston! shane but diving more deeply into how being traded would impact the hockey of it all, very perfectionism torment nexus, completed (with wip sequel)
Blizost: what if you could climb inside your lover and share one body between two souls?, completed
Mama's Boy, Mama's Boy: shane hollander's journey if the whole time he was also haunted by his situationship's dead mom, fantastic irina characterization, completed
cracked plexiglass: canon rewrite that fleshes out a version of shane's pre-NHL hockey career that's more realistic to the actual environment of high level Canadian juniors, wip
i know where to draw the line: older captain shane and younger teammate ilya, super cute, completed
but what if I need you in my darkest hour? : our favorite hockey players plane crash Bad on the way to 2017 All Stars, painful in all the ways, completed
Just Enough of You: shane fills in for his identical twin during a photoshoot with ilya rozanov, and the consequences are disastrous. hilarious plot on top of an incredible twin tormet nexus. wip
other half: another twin! shane fic, but twin sister this time. incredibly endearing main oc and complicated hollander family dynamics. wip
The Eyes are Afraid: "accidental child aquisition in the sense that shane accidentally finds himself co-parenting ilya's little sister", wip
calcified and useless (should i try and do it?): my favorite shanebortion fic, completed
spartacus.: "Ilya Rozanov, what do you want? And how are you going to get it?", completed
lenticchie per capodanno: ilya makes a friend post-tunamelt #doublebeard, the torment is so good, wip
Moscow lost and found: 13 year old shane goes on an epic family reunion quest in moscow and meets ilya along the way, they are soooo sweet and young it makes my heart hurt, wip
the winners-verse: canon-divergent series exploring shane and ilya's relationship after the end of HR. obsessed with these versions of them, they both have serious teeth. completed
I'm Just Happy You Still Call: yuna character study as shane does a little growing up, completed
if you're scared of wolves: ilya in a time loop but it's a Decade Long, broke my brain, wip
thylacine: shane's introspection on his race and hockey, i shed actual tears at the end, completed
virtue theory: a truly excellent shane character study. nothing like a man to misuse stoicism! completed
gulf winds: shane & ilya coparenting alexei's niece when really they could use some extra time cooking themselves. but also maybe the coparenting is the self-parenting in the end. ft. a delightful female oc wip
oh well, I guess we're gonna find out!: shane and ilya together as the zombie apocalypse comes directly post-vegas. really good shanestruggle, completed
Electric Fan (Feel It Motherfuckers): "Ilya has one hour to wipe his existence from his boyfriends’ house": a closer look at the closet. i can't do the summary justice but know it made me cry a little. completed
the ghost of you: shane and ilya reunite 7 years after the tuna-melt debacle, as shane's divorce with rose is being processed. completed
the one hand rim-rocker: "Ilya Rozanov gets fisted". like the bottom!ilya thesis to me, and the sequel hits just as hard–so so hot. if you don't like no one's forcing you to read, i don't want to hear it! completed
Countdown to Connect: post. breakup with ilya and being outed, shane finds his footing after being traded to the centaurs. told through wyatt's pov with illuminating shane pov sequel. completed, sequel wip
when there's nothing left to burn: "In which Scott Hunter accepts a trade to Montreal, just as Shane Hollander is named captain." love the shane&scott dynamic here, and how beautifully grounded in montreal this work is. #bringcanadianaintoficmore2026. perhaps more scott-focused than the avg person scrolling my blog is into though just a heads up. wip
when you leave here: shane grapples with his juniors hockey experience in the wake of a former teammate opening up to the media. very we breed lions inspired. completed
falling into you: shane stays through the tuna-melt-debacle and he and ilya collapse into schrödingers boyfriends in the following months. completed ha collapse get it (yes ik its the other way around)
Lookout Kid: "Ilya inherits a surly grief-stricken nine year-old and has to figure out how to fit him into their lives." gorgeous and so real and hard as real things are. wip
Empty Net Goal: shortly after tuna-melt, a woman serves shane seeking "unspecified damages after the establishment of paternity". but–it's not what you think. great premise and i love the ecosystem around shane depicted here. wip
something in the movies: "Post-cottage. Shane gets into an disagreement with his mom."character study, completed
paper lanterns, one after another: "It occurs to Ilya that he doesn't belong here. But then, this is a necessary migration.", completed
good bones: "Yuna thinks that if her baby could talk, he would have a lot to tell her. Perhaps he already has opinions on her parenting." , shane growing up through yuna's eyes, completed
periphery : shane’s adventures through the dreams of the ones he loves and the ones he will love, wip
Biscuits In The Basket: “Shane Hollander learns there are both pros and cons to accidentally adopting a kitten with your situationship”, so sweet so hot i’m obsessed, completed
Future, In The Abstract: “Shane abso-fucking-lutely had not informed anybody on the Voyageurs staff that he was an omega or, what the fuck, given permission for them to make decisions about his contraceptive methods” the omega verse fic i’ve been searching for. completed
prairie madness: "The 2008 World Junior Hockey Championships are hosted in Regina, Saskatchewan, a place with absolutely fucking nothing to do. Ilya and Shane find themelves in each other's company, trying to pass the time.", completed
all sins' day: "In which the secret-keeping in the Hollander family is sort-of generational." really liked this yuna character study and the preceding svetlana one!, completed
precipice: in the aftermath of ilya's death, shane and svetlana finally get to meet. "(inspired by the tumblr post that says 'in a way grief sex is like having a threesome with a ghost')", completed
Game Day: "On June 24th, 2022, during game seven of the Stanley Cup finals, Ilya Rozanov takes a skate blade to the thigh and bleeds out on the ice. The next morning, Shane wakes up in his husband's arms. It's June 24th again, and Ilya is still alive. Now Shane just needs to figure out how to keep him that way." a excellent time loop fic, completed
a year safe in your heart: "The summer before Ilya joins the Centaurs, Shane wakes up nervous. It doesn't stop from there." the fic that inspired Game Day and put me in a fugue state at my morning shift. really really gripped me. completed
take it from the top of the morning: another time loop fic (i am nothing if not predictable) that traps shane within the day of the episode 4 club montage. currently a wip but reading just the first chapter as the complete piece is also a really great if not kind of grim experience
get gone: shane grapples with life in the public eye post "HEA", completed
Clean Sweep: "Canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane Hollander doesn’t have a single Cup to his name when he meets a very hot and very annoying janitor who works at the Metros stadium." such an incredibly endearing ilya #myfiretruck of all time, completed
this year's wine: "When Boston realize Ilya wants out, they send him to the highest bidder. The highest bidder is LA." like everything from this authot, really really really good. completed
raise my heart rate: "Technically, Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander meet at a club. The gun shot wound is a bit of a mood-killer, but I'm sure they'll make it work." hockey player ilya x paramedic shane, very cute, much cheerier than this piece of the summary suggests, wip
Dance Yrself Clean: "Two summers, nine years apart, and the changes they bring." ilya on devotion, rlly good, completed
popadanets: "For his whole life, Shane has struggled to stay in one time and place. His moments fall like rain around him as he lives in the past, the present, and the future, all at once and then back again."
there are like millions more that i will add once i remember them
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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