Infinigod

my internet went down for 2 days after I posted this

why are all the actual real human jobs like baker and florist and childcare worker barely paying livable wages but the fake jobs like ai specialist boot licker or marketing campaign dick sucker making six figures

I hope that within 5-10 years every ice "agent" in jail

I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend

fathers casually dropping the craziest lore of their lives in the middle of a conversation

When my great grandpa was on his deathbed my grandpa (his son) was with him and says his last words were “I told them they shouldn’t have hanged that woman. Well by damn they’re paying now” and no one in my family knows what the fuck that means

We were driving through Old Country once and my grandpa Sasha randomly went “oh this is where we blew up that bridge as kids, I guess it got rebuilt”

when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body

Michael crichton wrote westworld and jurassic park tho so he just pirated himself

michael crichton keeps TRYING to tell y’all about the evils of capitalism impeding on the progress of science when will y’all LISTEN

Maybe he just doesn’t like theme parks

michael crichton in line for a roller coaster at six flags: fuck this

how am I ever supposed to leave tumblr when it takes me on journeys like this

drake?

josh?

where’s the body of christ?

what about average naturals huh? some real home grown staple crop type of titty. it aint all trying to blue ribbon at the fair you know

As far as I’m concerned, all titties get the blue ribbon

that s not how the fair works

Oh yeah? Then I’m gonna make my OWN fair! With titty ribbons, and beautiful women

can i come to your fair it sounds cooler

mine just has all these fucking lettus andf carrots