oceandust

yes i am joining the onslaught of trackers on dash!! i recently dropped a bunch of threads and am down to a reasonable amount which means i naturally need an unreasonable amount again. both of my muses are in future dreams, and that will be what consumes their lives for the foreseeable future, so i am asking for future dreams threads only for my final shred of sanity 😔 i’ll put some info about how both indy and nari are doing below as well as the actual tracker portion! and please like this post if you want to plot 💕

INDY

GROUP 2 (BOSS) BOYS DORM 2

indy is reeling from his feedback he received from haru’s lee james, who said he’s a necessary component if lgc wants to debut a new team because of his variety skills, but that he needs to improve if he wants to be anything more than a variety member. tbh indy is fine with just being a variety member, he barely wants to debut and is only on future dreams because of peer pressure and he has never been called a necessary component for anything, let a debut team, before. he feels a lot of pressure, very overwhelmed, and pretty guilty for being a “necessary component” when he doesn’t think he wants to debut enough to warrant that. he doesn’t know how to cope atm so i’m 99% sure he’s going to cry at some point this month, if not multiple times, but we love development!! i’m excited! he’s still going to try his best because the last thing he wants to do is hold anyone else back. plus, he’s in a group with some of his closest friends and that helps a lot.

FD THREAD(S): @lgcjiahn​ (3/4) BONUS THREAD(S): open! INTERVIEW SOLO: incomplete! PLOTTING: @lgckian​

NARI

GROUP 5 (BUNGEE) GIRLS DORM 1

nari hates it here. she hates bungee, she hates most of the girls in her group and that she’s dorming with (which is a HER problem i promise), and to make matters worse nam sarang basically told her she’s a good performer but has no personality and is replaceable-- at least that’s what nari got out of it. the thing with nari is she’s fake as hell, her real personality is incredibly cruel and critical and generally offputting so she’s just like 🧍 might start her villain arc fr. she’s also very upset she’s not leader of her group because she was on last season of future dreams and thinks she’s so great because she has more experience than everyone or whatever. she is kind of torn between continuing to be her “fake nice be who everybody wants me to be” persona and just dropping it and being her mean self so she might be kind of confusing to interact with atm. i think she will probably most likely end up being a  more palatable version of her true self though, so if you’re on her team expect ...criticism. constructive criticism, according to nari, but we’ll see about that.

i did have a lot of fun while i was here, and i’m leaving with a lot of fond memories. thank you so much to everyone that plotted with and loved indy and nari; i’m sorry to leave you guys hanging on plots and threads only to drop like this, but know that i did really enjoy writing with you all. i’m honestly sad because i do love indy and nari and i’m curious about how their stories will go, especially about future dreams!! but i don’t think it’s fair to myself to drag things on if i’m not enjoying it, and i don’t think it’s fair to anyone else to stay, potentially get something out of future dreams, then drop right afterwards.

so!! as for indy and nari’s stories now: indy’s mom is sick (temporarily), and he’ll decide that he doesn’t want to be an idol enough to miss out on time with his mom if something bad happens. he’s been thinking a lot about what he wants lately with future dreams anyway, and he’ll come to the conclusion that being an idol isn’t actually one of those things. he’ll go back to australia a while, and once his mom recovers, will likely realize he actually misses training, and he might go back to korea, get signed to another company, and eventually debut there after more time to grow and figure out what he wants in life. 

nari, on the other hand, would never leave without being forced to, so i’m forcing her to leave HAHA she’ll overwork herself during future dreams and have a pretty serious injury that could be career-ending. lgc will drop her eventually, because even though she could potentially go into the acting or modeling path, she won’t be able to work long hours for a while. she’ll be devastated but she’s always been strong-willed so she’ll recover eventually, though she’ll probably never be able to dance the same again and that’ll be painful for her. maybe she’ll bounce back and manage to get signed by another company eventually too, or she’ll get into acting properly, and find a new passion for it and plenty of success in her future.

if you’d like to keep in touch!! i’m @YURlLECLERC on twitter and i would be happy to 💗 even though i’m leaving lgc, i’ll still be around in the krp sphere, and i’m sure a lot of us will meet again one day. for now, though, this is so long. thank you again for everything 🙏 

lgcjiahn​:

~~☼~~

“it’s the ‘confidently’ part i’m worried about,” he admits to indy, for a moment forgetting about the cameras while he’s with him. it’s easier to relax, easier to pretend that it’s just another day in the same old practice rooms. “you know that’s hard for me. i only have a little experience with rapping… and i haven’t practiced it in a while.” his brow furrows. his worry shows on his face. he’s afraid that he’ll let the team down, that he’ll hold them back. indy will understand all of the things that jiahn doesn’t say. “i’ll work hard.”

being optimistic is easy. he can pretend debuting is his dream, and that he's over the moon about the feedback he received, and really, he should have a better attitude about it. he has something special that the other trainees don't, at least according to lee james, and he should treasure that; he should want to be a necessary component to legacy's future boy group.

surely he can do that. he looks at jiahn, and thinks about the positive feedback he received for his performance, and tries to drill it into his head; it's a good thing. surely, jiahn will debut in the next group, and indy was always afraid of jiahn leaving him behind. maybe this means they will stay together; that indy really did do something right for once.

he'll try to look at it that way, but more than that, he'll try to have fun with it. he's in a group with people he likes very much (though it's not like indy has ever met a person he doesn't like.) he likes their song, too, even if his parts are quite important and that adds a little pressure to the heavy load already on his shoulders. if he looks at it from a different perspective, he's extremely lucky, and he has nothing to lose. he might as well enjoy this, and he knows if he does that, his true self that is supposedly charming will shine through; that's what he wants to show on camera, not this sad, moping version of himself.

he just has to ignore his heart in his throat as jiahn talks. best friends. best friends. he reminds himself. he focuses on jiahn's words instead, and nods in understanding. "you really just have to pretend you know what you're doing to start. that's what i do all the time," he laughs. and somehow it landed him a rap ost, which he still doesn't think he'll ever understand. "and i think most importantly, try to have fun when it's time to perform. sure, boss is kind of...a fierce image, but i think if you try to go in with the mindset of 'i'm going to perform with my best friends, this dance is really cool and legacy liked my last performance and trusted me to be able to do something new, this doesn't happen every day so i'm going to enjoy it,' it'll feel less stressful." he doesn't know how helpful any of this is. this role reversal feels a little strange, but indy figures if there's anything he's good at, it's having fun, and that it's probably an area jiahn can improve in.

future dreams is an absolute whirlwind. indy knew this already, but somehow it keeps getting worse.

he is still haunted by the fact that he is a necessary component to a boy group that he’s never really wanted to be in, according to lee james of haru. he thinks anyone else would be thrilled-- should be thrilled --but he is just guilty and terrified. he doesn’t want this enough to be a component of a group at all, let alone a necessary one. he doesn’t know how to keep that from coming across on camera, either; he supposes he’ll have to hide any of his distressed feelings, and he’s no stranger to that.

the good thing is jiahn is here, placed in a group with him. it should be a good thing, anyway. jiahn’s presence is both welcome and a constant reminder that he may never get to love him the way he wants to. it is a constant reminder of the cameras trained on them; the cameras that will be trained on them for the rest of their lives if they accomplish jiahn’s dream. he is so full of love every time he looks at him but half the time they are too afraid to even hug each other.

he tries not to think about it. instead, he looks on the bright side, as always, and he’s going to get to perform on future dreams with his best friend. that’s undeniably exciting, and all he has to do is pretend they aren’t in love. surely that won’t be too hard. he did it for half of his life, even if he wasn’t consciously aware of it until a few months ago.

what’s a little funny is that jiahn has to rap for their performance. he knows jiahn is probably terrified, because it’s far from an area of strength for him, but he hopes he can ease some of that fear by being here.  

he might actually even be able to help him practice, which would be a wild role reversal, considering how much jiahn has helped him for much of his time in legacy. he’ll try anyway, like now, as they sit on the floor of a practice room after the rest of their group has headed their separate ways. 

“rapping isn’t that hard,” indy tries to assure jiahn. “i think you’ll be able to get by if you just talk the words, honestly. it’s just about doing it confidently, and then i think if you can do it confidently you’ll be able to practice and make it sound better too.”

hiii everybody, now that the new trimester is beginning, the day has come: it’s time to drop some more threads, because i have...a lot, and i’m not sure how relevant some of them are anymore! i’ll put indy and @lgcnari’s in the same post just for my own convenience. of course, if i say i’m keeping anything you’d like to drop, or you want to keep something on my drop list, i’m 100% okay with that; just let me know! i’m sure half of the ones i’m dropping are already essentially dropped but are still in my rpthreadtracker, so i’ll be making that dropping Official in this post as well. pls let me know if i’m forgetting a thread on here too! also please give me non-event threads this is so sad.

honestly, i don't really know what to write this time. i want to be really brave! and say i'm so ready to take on all the competition in future dreams. well, i think it was kind of brave to sign up, wasn't it? especially when i feel like i'm not really ready.

is that okay for me to say? i'm not sure. i should probably keep those thoughts to myself in a journal entry like this, but maybe sharing my worries will help me to feel better? one of my english teachers in school said something about writing bad things down to get them out of your head, so!

i'm honestly really nervous. after watching everyone's performances the other day, everyone is really good. i still have a hard time considering myself one of those people that are really good. i guess my confidence is lacking. it's a fact that i'm a slow learner, though. it takes me too long to memorize lyrics, even though i'm pretty good when it comes to learning choreography now. i just hope i can keep up with everyone...

early in my days in legacy, the coaches were very hard on me. i understand why! i really wasn't good enough back then. it definitely made me improve a lot, so i'm grateful for that. i guess i just don't know...if i'm good enough now?

i don't want whoever reads this to read it as me not wanting to be on future dreams, because that's really not true! i am a little excited too, even if i'm mostly nervous. in the worst case, i'll get eliminated early. my worries will be proven true and i won't be good enough. but there's a chance that i really am good enough to compete with everyone else! and i think that would be really nice.

mentioned: @lgcjiahn @lgcdowoon @lgcxmax

another day after signing up for future dreams, another meeting room, and it always makes indy a bit anxious. it always ushers in thoughts of him not belonging here; of all of the others signed up for this show deserving to be here more than him, but-- he tries to set those thoughts aside.

all they're asking him to do is talk, and he's been quite good at that during his time in legacy. yeah, he can do that much.

except what they want him to talk about is tough. it presses on those insecurities he just tried to get out of his mind. where does he rank among the other future dreams contestants?

he should be pretty good, shouldn't he? he's been training for a while now. he's in the special boy's evaluation group; legacy put him on an ost for pete's sake. he must be doing something right.

yet as he looks over these incredibly talented names, thinking back on the performances he saw the other day, he can't possibly put himself in the top ten, can he? he can't help but feel like he doesn't stack up to many of them at all, and he feels guilty to put himself ahead of anyone else when he knows he's still lacking so much.

performance reference

with their first "interview" of a sort out of the way, the next step in the preparations for future dreams comes. this time, it's a performance, and indy supposes that's to be expected. it appears to be very open-ended; they give them minimal guidelines. it just needs to be a minute long.

at first, it's just one more thing on indy's plate. there isn't that much time until the day they need to perform, and there isn't that much time after that before he has to perform the eye for his trainee evaluation. he isn't sure if he's cut out for this, as slowly as he learns. he can learn choreography quickly enough, but will he really be able to learn all the lyrics to his new song and the choreography, while not forgetting anything he's learned of the eye?

performance reference

at first, indy is miserable.

“i guess if my hair is really ugly i won’t have to worry about trying to stand out in the group, will i?“

this is all new to indy.

well, maybe not entirely. by now, he's been in front of a camera plenty of times, but it's usually for something fun. not that this isn't fun, don't get him wrong--

well, okay. maybe he's not really having fun. he's too nervous. he's too busy wondering if he's made a terrible mistake in signing up for future dreams, because he doesn't really want to be here. he's here because jiahn and cam want him to be here, and what is indy going to do, defy his friends? his entire time in legacy so far has been defined by his friends. it's like he isn't capable of making his own decisions for himself, and he realizes this, and it frustrates him a little.

but he's here, and indy wouldn't be indy if he wasn't determined to make the best of the situation.  he follows the staff member obediently when they summon him, then sits in the chair in the middle of the room, doing his very best to focus on the instructions. okay. he'll be given a scenario and has to say how he'll react. got it. that's easy enough, right?

somehow it feels like so much pressure. this isn't just a show for fun. it's a competition show. it's not about making people laugh or smile; it's about delivering the best performances possible every single time. indy has to take this seriously, and he's so afraid he isn't capable of it.

he told jiahn he would take training more seriously, but truthfully, he doesn't know what that looks like. he doesn't know what to do so he doesn't disappoint him, or anyone else that has invested time in growing his lack of talent into something close to serviceable.

it's harder to be optimistic these days. indy doesn't know why, but as always, all he can do is his best, so he sits, and reads over the card in his hand. he realizes shortly after that if anyone watches this tape, they may not know what the question is without him saying it aloud, so he does:

"the night before your debut, you are told to head to the hair salon. as the hairstylist is doing your hair, you begin to sense that they’re not doing their job well and end up giving you a hairstyle that you strongly dislike. will you tell the hairstylist about your honest thoughts or accept the terrible hairstyle that is given to you and face the press the next morning?"

truthfully, it's an easy answer for him, though he doesn't know if it's right. is there a right answer in situations like these? maybe not.

“it’s just hair, right? it’ll grow back and everything," he begins. "plus, it would be a hairstylist the company sends us to, right? so they trust them. maybe that's the hairstyle i'm supposed to have?" idols have ugly hair all the time, right? he doesn't know much about idols even now, but he's listened to his sister complain about it before.

lgctouya​:

he honestly thought for a moment that indy was going to just accept his fate. he wondered if the older boy was going to sleep now that he had been covered. because honestly, touya might have done that if the situation was flipped. the teen though is always either full of energy or tired to all hell. so maybe he would have liked to be the one on the floor under a blanket. alas. 

but his worries or wonderings are not seen through as not too long after they cover him, indy ends up sitting up rather suddenly. all the kids around them end up laughing and even touya can’t help but laugh a little at how silly the older is being. maybe play time like this was something they all needed. though he can’t say for sure if all the trainees here saw this as play time or if they were thinking about it like work. 

which it is… 

“waaah you survived!” he teen cheers right along side the other kids. smiling at indy in amusement–though he can’t hide that he is having fun. “we thought you were um… gone for good!” a few of the kids beside him nod. 

he hoped his sleepiness would wear off upon sitting up, but truthfully, he kind of just wants to lay down again. still, indy is always good at putting on a happy and excitable face even if he isn't feeling that way, and it's not like he feels bad. the kids apparently just wore him out a little more than he thought.

"i survived!" he cheers back, and he's thankful that despite his weariness, everyone is smiling. that's what indy wants more than anything, so it's well worth all of his efforts. the day will be over eventually, then he can go back to the dorm and sleep as much as he wants, and by then he'll probably miss all of the kids. it's definitely a nice change of pace from dancing and vocal lessons. he feels like he excels in this far more than any lessons, even if he's supposed to be a dancer or something.

"actually, i was just really tired from doing pushups, so i fell asleep right away!" he explains, with a timely yawn. "does anyone want to take a nap? the blanket is comfy." he's mostly joking. they already had naptime. the trainee helpers weren't lucky enough to be able to participate in that, though.

indy lays back down to continue his joke, only for a little kid to yell "no!" and another to run over to him and hit him with a stuffed dinosaur again.

lgcyuseong​:

playing kitchen is always an easy way to entertain children, or so he’d heard from friends who had experience with kids cafes and other types of places that were designed to amuse children whose parents needed a break from them. he wonders how they got so many kids of the same age to be in one place. he vaguely remembers something similar, although for himself, he’s not sure if it was a show like this or if it was simply him being brought to a kids cafe to play or something.

“other food? you’re not actually going to eat it, indy,” he points out with a laugh and a tilt of his head, smiling at the little girl in amusement as she bustles around her kitchen with determination, and he’s not even surprised when she reaches for the eggs and pan. it’s the only thing that’s ever really available, other than fake fruit, and he supposes that if indy isn’t up to having eggs (in a pretend game) for some reason, well — far be it from him to not ask. “let’s see what she offers us on the menu then.”

“excuse me, sajangnim,” he calls dramatically. “i’d like to order, please?”

well. yuseong makes a fair point. it doesn't really matter what food the girl has access to, because they're not going to actually eat it. still, though: "i just thought it would be more fun if she had a variety of options...?" indy has plenty of foolish moments, but he thinks his logic in this case makes some sense. what's the fun of playing chef if you can only cook eggs, right?

since yuseong apparently won't be any help on the food hunting portion of this endeavor, indy takes it upon himself, and looks around as best as he can without moving. maybe there's more food in a box somewhere? or maybe the daycare had some unfortunate incidents with the other options, leaving them lost or thrown away. he can't imagine how many kids actually tried to eat the play food.

still, he spots something that suspiciously looks like a sausage or hot dog or something, and crawls over to it. sure enough, he's right, and he picks it up and happily shows it off to yuseong and the girl before crawling back. he hands it to the little girl, who looks at it only for a moment before casting it aside. indy can't help but burst into laughter and hang his head in defeat.

lgcxmax​:

knowing he was a disaster of a human perhaps it was due someone where to actually make the guy sleep at reasonable hours and force him to return to his dorm before he’d end up too tired to move and make the practice room floor his new bed instead. in a faint distant corner of his dreamland he did wonder how the cleaning people had to navigate around him in order to clean the floors for another busy day of restless footsteps and practiced moves. 

perhaps it was for that reason he ended up dreaming himself together a scenario where one of the rather grumpy and bulking cleaning folks ended up stringing him to a broom to use him as a brush instead, his shirt soggy with dirty cleaning water and his sneakers squeaking loudly against the ground as he attempted to protest. “nnnoooo,” he ends up murmuring before the same word in german escapes him a tad louder. only when a suddenly ‘hello’ interrupts him and the cleaning person’s face morphs into another one does he end up twitching awake, blinking his hazy eyes open to stare back at a person he feels to be vaguely familiar.

“yeah? I think so…,” he states, voice low, raspy and most definitely lost and uncertain while patting himself down and feeling a dry, sweat soaked but otherwise clean shirt. only then does he exhale a breath of relief and roll onto his back, yawning loudly into the linoleum floor while pushing himself up to his elbows. “what time is it?”

was that a no? and then another word that he can't understand, and indy feels panic welling up in his chest. oh god, what does he do? are any of the legacy staff members here yet for him to call for help? should he just call emergency services? should he wait and see what happens? he has his phone; maybe he can google what to do? but what if that wastes precious time and the other trainee dies because of it?

he's about to say you're not okay? just to confirm it, before the other guy, who looks familiar, now that indy properly sees him, opens his eyes. he lets out a sigh of relief, because at least he's not on death's door.

he'll take yeah, i think so. that's better than the no he thought he heard before, though the i think so still doesn't particularly reassure him. "you're sure?" he asks, and he holds out the extra water bottle to him, figuring he could use some extra hydration regardless of the reason he was just knocked out in the middle of the practice room floor.

it occurs to indy, then, that he could've just fallen asleep, and he feels silly. indy has fallen asleep in practice rooms many times in his day. granted, usually it's with his head on his practice bag somewhere in a corner, not in the middle of the floor, but he understands it. hey, isn't he in the evaluation group too? indy places his face now, even if he still can't put a name to it just yet. he understands even more, now.

performing love scenario by dbsd 

on the day of the performance, indy is nervous.

he tells himself, over and over, that it's just an evaluation. he's done these before. somehow, though, with his friends here, he feels more pressure. he doesn't want to mess up in front of anyone, but especially not them. he doesn't want to disappoint them, especially when they've practiced so hard.

he tries not to think like that, though. he knows the more he gives in to those thoughts, the more likely they are to come true, and that's the last thing he wants. instead, he thinks about love scenario, hums the familiar melody, and tells himself he'll have fun. he thinks that's the most important part of the performance. maybe, even if his singing is still lacking, he can charm the coaches with his energetic personality?

that's probably not how it works, but by the day of the performance, he knows his voice is stronger than it was two months ago. surely they don't expect him to be main vocalist material; they just want to see that he improved, right? and he definitely did. well, he hopes they think he did.

"lee indy, performing love scenario by dbsd," he says with a bow to the legacy staff and a smile.

he has to listen closely for when they start his instrumental; there's only the light sound of static, and his voice has to come in two beats before the actual instrumental does. getting the timing of it right was difficult, but this time he succeeds, and that smile stays on his face.

he thinks it's important he looks lighthearted for the song. he hopes the coaches don't take it as him not taking it seriously, so he doesn't smile the whole time. despite the song's upbeat nature, it's a bit melancholy as far as lyrical content goes.

he learned the dance while practicing the vocal part, just in case he wanted to include dancing in this performance, and also just for fun, but in the end, he opted not to. he didn't want anything to take away from his vocals.

he does his best, from the sing-rap of the opening chorus, to the more melodic sections, to the raps. he looks to the coaches, and his fellow trainees, and then back to the coaches, just to try and keep the performance a performance, not just a test. when he gets nervous, he just focuses on the coaches, like during the falsetto parts in the prechorus. he practiced it seemingly endlessly, and it's still not the best, but it's so much better than it was, and he hopes that's what matters.

he smiles again for the chorus, and he wishes it wasn't such a professional setting, so the other trainees wouldn't be so scared and they might all be able to have fun. love scenario feels like a song that was made to be clapped and swayed along to, but he does his best to keep it energetic regardless, and indy has never had a problem with that.

the bridge proves another challenge, but he makes it through without making a mistake! and it's smooth sailing from there, more of the same, more of indy's smile and the familiar chorus. he finishes off more seriously, and once the music ends, he turns back to the coaches once more and gives a grateful bow before returning to his seat.